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Jokes. #886057
05/07/13 02:39 AM
05/07/13 02:39 AM
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 46,938
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
curly Offline OP
Sonic Boomer
curly  Offline OP
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 46,938
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
I need help with these jokes.

-1.I broke a mirror in my house. I'm supposed to get seven years of bad luck, but my ------ thinks he can get me five.

-2.I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in --- c--.

-3.I installed a skylight in my apartment. The people who live above me are f------!

4.I used to work at a factory where they made h------s; but you couldn't park anywhere near the place.

-5.I like my dental hygienist. I think she's very pretty. So when I'm waiting in her office I eat an entire bag of Oreo cookies. She had to cancel all her other a-----------.

-6.There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the e---------.

-7.There's a pizza place near where I live that sells only slices. In the back you can see a guy tossing a t------- in the air.

-8.Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a l------- on the same night.

-9.Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a b--- h--- and a b--- g--, and still think they are sexy.

-10.What is the most important thing to learn in chemistry?
Never l--- the s----.

lol

Last edited by curly; 05/08/13 01:34 AM.

If you can't dance, don't blame the dance floor.
Re: Jokes. [Re: curly] #886061
05/07/13 03:49 AM
05/07/13 03:49 AM
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 9,303
Deepest darkest Norfolk, Engla...
bermag45 Offline
BAAG Specialist
bermag45  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 9,303
Deepest darkest Norfolk, Engla...
1. Lawyer lol Good morning Curly wave thumbsup

Bernie happydance

Re: Jokes. [Re: curly] #886063
05/07/13 04:03 AM
05/07/13 04:03 AM
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 46,938
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
curly Offline OP
Sonic Boomer
curly  Offline OP
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 46,938
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
Hi Bernie, good answer.


If you can't dance, don't blame the dance floor.
Re: Jokes. [Re: curly] #886077
05/07/13 06:04 AM
05/07/13 06:04 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
5. appointments lol


Gerry
Re: Jokes. [Re: curly] #886085
05/07/13 06:31 AM
05/07/13 06:31 AM
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 46,938
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
curly Offline OP
Sonic Boomer
curly  Offline OP
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 46,938
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
Merci Gerry.


If you can't dance, don't blame the dance floor.
Re: Jokes. [Re: curly] #886086
05/07/13 06:45 AM
05/07/13 06:45 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
8. laxative lol

Morning curly


Gail
Re: Jokes. [Re: GBC] #886089
05/07/13 07:20 AM
05/07/13 07:20 AM
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 4,624
UK
Niki Offline
Addicted Boomer
Niki  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 4,624
UK
9. bald head and a beer gut lol


What are we? Women - What do we want? We don't know - When do we want it? Now
Re: Jokes. [Re: curly] #886093
05/07/13 07:38 AM
05/07/13 07:38 AM
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 16,715
Doylestown, Pennsylvania
Redz Offline
Graduate Boomer
Redz  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 16,715
Doylestown, Pennsylvania
7. tortilla grin wave

Re: Jokes. [Re: curly] #886095
05/07/13 07:54 AM
05/07/13 07:54 AM
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 17,630
The Outer Limits
Cue Offline
Graduate Boomer
Cue  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 17,630
The Outer Limits
2. one car lol Morning Curly wave


Did you ever stop to think and then forget to start again?
Re: Jokes. [Re: curly] #886102
05/07/13 08:22 AM
05/07/13 08:22 AM
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 46,938
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
curly Offline OP
Sonic Boomer
curly  Offline OP
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 46,938
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
Joan try again, last letter is e. Others are right.


If you can't dance, don't blame the dance floor.
Re: Jokes. [Re: curly] #886108
05/07/13 08:52 AM
05/07/13 08:52 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 29,026
Unionville
manxman Offline
Sonic Boomer
manxman  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 29,026
Unionville
10. lick the spoon smile


Sometimes lost is where you need to be. Just because you don't know your direction doesn't mean you don't have one.
Re: Jokes. [Re: curly] #886113
05/07/13 09:11 AM
05/07/13 09:11 AM
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,032
California
Sondi Offline
BAAG Specialist
Sondi  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,032
California
3. furious grin

wave

Re: Jokes. [Re: curly] #886116
05/07/13 09:33 AM
05/07/13 09:33 AM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Haroula Offline
Adept Boomer
Haroula  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
7.Triangle smile wave


I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".

Re: Jokes. [Re: curly] #886129
05/07/13 11:05 AM
05/07/13 11:05 AM
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 13,701
Virginia
Jema Offline
Adept Boomer
Jema  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 13,701
Virginia
Good Morning, Curly cat

6. escalators?


Wouldn't that jar your mustard!
Re: Jokes. [Re: curly] #886131
05/07/13 11:16 AM
05/07/13 11:16 AM
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 46,938
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
curly Offline OP
Sonic Boomer
curly  Offline OP
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 46,938
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
Good ones.


If you can't dance, don't blame the dance floor.
Re: Jokes. [Re: curly] #886180
05/07/13 04:01 PM
05/07/13 04:01 PM
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 3,440
47.79N, 122.24W
BobH Offline
Addicted Boomer
BobH  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 3,440
47.79N, 122.24W
4. highways?


Bob
As I've grown older, I've found that my memory is not as good as I used to think it was.
Re: Jokes. [Re: curly] #886229
05/07/13 11:45 PM
05/07/13 11:45 PM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 8,986
Sydney, Australia
Koala Offline
BAAG Specialist
Koala  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 8,986
Sydney, Australia
4. Hydrants

smile


Beauty is in the eye of the beerholder.
Re: Jokes. [Re: curly] #886238
05/08/13 01:34 AM
05/08/13 01:34 AM
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 46,938
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
curly Offline OP
Sonic Boomer
curly  Offline OP
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 46,938
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
You got it K.


If you can't dance, don't blame the dance floor.
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