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#887262 - 05/12/13 07:48 PM End of the World
gymcandy1 Online   happy
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 30153
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
AKA Monday


Bore: one who has the power of speech but not the capacity for conversation.
Benjamin Disraeli (1804 - 1881)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's not whether you win or lose,
but how you place the blame.

You are not drunk
if you can lie on the floor
without holding on.

We have enough "youth".
How about a fountain of "smart"?

The original point and click interface
was a Smith & Wesson.

A Fool and his money
can throw one heck of a party

When blondes have more fun,do they know it?

Five days a week my body is a temple.
The other two it's an amusement park.


LEARN FROM YOUR PARENTS' MISTAKES
USE BIRTH CONTROL

Money isn't everything,
but it sure keeps the kids in touch.

Don't Drink and Drive
You might hit a bump and spill something.

If at first you don't succeed
skydiving is not for you

Reality is only an illusion
that occurs due to a lack of alcohol.

We are born naked, wet and hungry.
Then things get worse.

Ninety-nine percent of all lawyers
give the rest a bad name.

Xerox and Wurlitzer will merge
to produce reproductive organs.

Alabama state motto:

At least we're not Mississippi

ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE IS NO
MATCH FOR NATURAL STUPIDITY.

The latest survey shows that
three out of four people make
up 75% of the population

"You know why a banana is like a politician?"
"He comes in and first he is green,
then he turns yellow
and then he's rotten."

"I think Congressmen should wear uniforms,
you know, like NASCAR drivers, so we could
identify their corporate sponsors."

The reason Politicians try so
hard to get re-elected is that they
would 'hate' to have to make a living
under the laws they've passed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Paraprosdokians

PARAPROSDOKIANS (Winston Churchill loved them) are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected and frequently humorous:

1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.

3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

5. We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.

6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left..

7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

8. They begin the evening news with 'Good Evening,' then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

10. Buses stop in bus stations. Trains stop in train stations. On my desk is a work station.

11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.

12. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

13. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

15. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

16. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.

17. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

18. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

19. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.

20. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

21. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

22. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

23. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

24. I am neither for nor against apathy.

25. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

26. I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather, not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

27. How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

28. Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.

29. The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

30. Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

31. Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.

32. A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.

33. When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

34. Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For all the ladies who have asked, "What is marketing?", the following analogies will help clear it up...

You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and say, "I'm fantastic in bed."
- That's Direct Marketing.

You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a handsome guy. One of your friends goes up to him and pointing at you says, "She's fantastic in bed."
- That's Advertising.

You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and get his telephone number. The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm fantastic in bed."
- That's Telemarketing.

You're at a party and see a handsome guy. You get up and straighten your dress. You walk up to him and pour him a drink. You say, "May I," and reach up to straighten his tie brushing your breast lightly against his arm, and then say, "By the way, I'm fantastic in bed."
- That's Public Relations.

You're at a party and see a handsome guy. He walks up to you and says, "I hear you're fantastic in bed."
- That's Brand Recognition.

You're at a party and see a handsome guy. You talk him into going home with your friend.
- That's a Sales Rep.

Your friend can't satisfy him so he calls you.
- That's Tech Support.

You're on your way to a party when you realize that there could be handsome men in all these houses you're passing. So you climb onto the roof of one situated toward the center and shout at the top of your lungs, "I'm fantastic in bed!"
- That's Spam.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie. welcome

I have an announcement to make.

It's with deep sadness and much regret that I have to tell you that......it's Monday.......and I am NOT happy about it!! mad

One of these days the powers that be are going to take my suggestion and eliminate this infernal day. rolleyes

I think they're afraid that if they eliminate Monday then their lives will be cut short by 1/7th. snicker

So my sister says, "If they eliminate Monday, wouldn't Tuesday just take it's place?"


WHUT???


shocked An intelligent thought? shocked


Should have recorded the moment with Memorex. slapforehead

Oh well,the only good thing about today is that I get off at 2:00, which means I get on at 5:00, which means I get up at 3:30. 'woot woot'

Well actually think I'm pretty happy to be alive today too.

Have a happy Monday (BLAAA) everyone.

joe





Edited by gymcandy1 (05/12/13 07:52 PM)
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

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#887268 - 05/12/13 08:19 PM Re: End of the World [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 65783
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Joe, just think, after today it will be one day closer to Friday! When is Your Friday this week?

Have a happy day everyone! I should be back in the corner and it's a Salsa Funk night. yay

Ana wave
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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#887270 - 05/12/13 08:21 PM Re: End of the World [Re: BrownEyedTigre]
gymcandy1 Online   happy
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 30153
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
Saturday is my Friday Ana. woot
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

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#887272 - 05/12/13 08:26 PM Re: End of the World [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 65783
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Ahhhh...a long week, I see! I hope it goes quickly for you. hearts
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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#887273 - 05/12/13 08:43 PM Re: End of the World [Re: gymcandy1]
flutist Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/17/01
Posts: 11422
Loc: Kirkwood, MO USA
Well, I'm gonna say "Good Morning" tonight. Does that make any sense?

I think I am going to go read for the rest of the morning/evening, whatever!!!!

Bets
_________________________
Corgis fill your life with Joy, your heart with Love, and your soul with Sunshine.

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#887288 - 05/12/13 09:37 PM Re: End of the World [Re: gymcandy1]
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
True Blue Boomer

Registered: 04/16/05
Posts: 21506
Loc: Usually up an Alabama Tree
Ah .. happy Monday Joe .. just think, if we didn't have Mondays then Tuesday would be just horrible and Wednesday's wouldn't be half way .. oh my! lol

Hmmm, a long week for me too Ana .. last week was chock full of early days and I have another adventure this week .. I will sleep good this Saturday .. and then Sunday, well that's a story for another day wink

Morning Bets and sleep tight .. I'll be headed that way too in a bit yes

Good morning gang! Enjoy the day, relax when you can and smile as much as possible thumbsup

wave
_________________________
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games

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#887290 - 05/12/13 10:00 PM Re: End of the World [Re: gymcandy1]
Midge Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 04/30/00
Posts: 14745
Loc: Massachusetts
What??? Monday already? Oh my. Well, I have another split shift today. See you on the flip side. Have a good day, when I get up.

Midgie hearts
_________________________
Just do it.

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#887292 - 05/12/13 10:24 PM Re: End of the World [Re: gymcandy1]
SharonB Offline
Settled Boomer

Registered: 01/23/09
Posts: 935
Loc: Delaware, USA
Good morning Gameboomers!

Monday, Monday, Monday!!! I go home today! yay rah chocobunny dance cat bravo hearts insane

Only 10 more hours and I will be on my way!

I hope you all have exciting wonderful days too!

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#887308 - 05/13/13 02:57 AM Re: End of the World [Re: gymcandy1]
Haroula Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 8105
Loc: Greece
Good morning Joe,Ana,Bets,Soot,Sharon and all who come in later. wave
Have all a great day spring
_________________________
Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.



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#887311 - 05/13/13 03:54 AM Re: End of the World [Re: Haroula]
cailyn Online   sad
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 01/08/06
Posts: 6096
Loc: Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
Good morning Joe,Ana,Soot,Haroula,Bets,Sharon waveSharon glad you get to go home today!Joe I hope your week is a fly by,coffee is on have a great day everyone puppy
_________________________
I may not have gone where I intended to go,but I think I have ended up where I need to be.

Sue

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#887318 - 05/13/13 04:57 AM Re: End of the World [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 17620
Loc: Marlborough USA
wave Good Morning Joe, Ana, Bets, soot, Midgie, SharonB, Haroula and Cailyn. Hope you all enjoyed mothers Day! Have a great Monday! wave
_________________________
Gerry

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#887328 - 05/13/13 06:08 AM Re: End of the World [Re: gymcandy1]
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 03/07/09
Posts: 5679
Loc: Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Ha, it took me a minute to realize this was Monday's diner. lol Great title today, Joe. grin

Okay, time for another work whoosh. wave Have a terrific Monday, everyone. spring

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#887329 - 05/13/13 06:13 AM Re: End of the World [Re: gymcandy1]
connie Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 07/12/02
Posts: 8199
Loc: winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. Sharon, I'm very happy you get to go home today. To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful start to the new week. Danish, Bacon Sandwiches, and French Toast in the NC. spring
_________________________
Connie

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#887336 - 05/13/13 07:30 AM Re: End of the World [Re: gymcandy1]
GBC Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/06/07
Posts: 14784
Loc: Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers

Busy diner this morning. Hello to everyone. wave

Chilly here this morning. I have my heat on. shiver

Need coffee! woozy
_________________________
Gail

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#887356 - 05/13/13 09:59 AM Re: End of the World [Re: GBC]
Darlene Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/10/00
Posts: 9480
Loc: Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! I'm pretty happy to be alive as well, Joe! happydance Have a great Monday!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!
_________________________
You become what you think about. Change your thoughts, change your life. - Dko

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#887357 - 05/13/13 10:01 AM Re: End of the World [Re: gymcandy1]
flutist Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/17/01
Posts: 11422
Loc: Kirkwood, MO USA
Hey, it's morning and the sun is shining. Woo hoo. 70 today, then, tomorrow, upper 80's.

Nothing planned for the day except take Cory for a walk.

Haven't heard from Susie yet so don't know how she is feeling.

Just cooked some potatoes and will fix potato salad. May get some chicken out for dinner.

Everyone have a great day.

Bets
_________________________
Corgis fill your life with Joy, your heart with Love, and your soul with Sunshine.

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#887374 - 05/13/13 11:01 AM Re: End of the World [Re: gymcandy1]
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/10/06
Posts: 13806
Loc: northern Wisconsin
Joe I sure am glad you are alive!! Who would open for us??? lol May work fly and those mowers sell. Thanks for starting my day with a laugh!!

Ana I hope the corner is kind to you today! May all go smoothly!!Have fun at dance class.

Soot may the work day fly and go well.

Sharon how exciting!!! yay There is no place like home and I'm sure your kitty will be happy!!

Haroula have a lovely day!

Cailyn thanks for the coffee. Have a great day!

Gerry any fun plans today? Have a nice day!

Connie have fun what ever you do today! Thanks for the danish!

Gail hope it warms up for you. We started at 24 but are already at 50!! It is about time. Have a lovely day! HUGS!

Bets hope that Susie is feeling better today! Enjoy orchestra tonight.

Midge may work be fun and fly for you. Me and Sassy already have one mile done!! Have a nice day!

Darlene may work go smoothly and fly! Have a lovely day!

venus may work fly and be fun! Hope that you had a wonderful birthday yesterday!!

wave
Nan

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#887383 - 05/13/13 11:41 AM Re: End of the World [Re: gymcandy1]
Yankee Clipper Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 08/27/04
Posts: 2163
Loc: Lexington, Texas
Oh SharonB -Home HOme HOMe HOME!!!!! Give your kitty hugs and rubs and maybe you could buy her something nice. One happy family again. Schemer Baby(my latest cat) is such a mother's little helper -like with posting, flipping fancy feast c-food cans etcetc .............at times I've picked him up and walked around the back yard with him.

Every spring the geese fly north and we watch them but this year there haven't been any. So sad-I pray they are well.

I can play PC games now so I've ordered Warhammer something or other and Dragon's Dogma. D Dogma is for the PS as a reward for getting better. Yippee!!!
_________________________
I wish I were a cat and belonged to me ~ My Aunt Helen Mary Rose

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#887384 - 05/13/13 11:47 AM Re: End of the World [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 42643
Loc: Alabama
Magnificent Monday ya'll puppy

I had the laziest Mother's Day every yesterday and then spent an hour and a half cleaning the kitchen when I got up this morning. Those cleaning fairies must have been celebrating too.

Daughter made it safely home. Our doggies look so small now. lol

After one more cup of coffee I'm going to gear us all up and go imitate a hamster at the park.


WhooooHoooo Sharon, I'm turning cartwheels for you happydance puppy

Woot woot Yankee....let the gaming begin thumbsup

Back later wave


Edited by looney4labs (05/13/13 11:47 AM)
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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#887389 - 05/13/13 11:57 AM Re: End of the World [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 65783
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Yankee, don't worry about the geese, they no longer leave here and stay year round. They are like city pigeons and a nuisance.
I am so happy to hear you can play again! yay

Sharon, I am so glad you are going home! Cuddle with kitty!

Bets, have a great day and I hope Susie can find out what's wrong.

soot, my days all run together and I really need more hours in each! I feel your pain. lol

Midgie, I hope work goes well. Don't forget to exercise!

Haroula, have a great day.

Sue, Gerry, Venus, Connie, enjoy your day!

Gail, we had to turn our heat back on! It'll be summer soon.

Darlene, safe skooshing.

Nan, whatcha up to today? I am hoping I can postpone the corner until tomorrow but I have no say in the matter.

L4L, have a nice walk! I hope mine can get out today too.
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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#887393 - 05/13/13 12:08 PM Re: End of the World [Re: gymcandy1]
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 7415
Loc: San Diego, CA
All I can say about today is HOT! Gah. Gonna be in the high 80's all of a sudden. That's 20+ degrees above what it's been for weeks. Humid too. 90% yesterday IN my house. Kept the window fan and the one over my bed on all night. Was comfy, but I can feel the heat creeping in now. Guess it's going to be my first day wearing shorts this year. woot
_________________________
WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.

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#887409 - 05/13/13 01:37 PM Re: End of the World [Re: gymcandy1]
Yankee Clipper Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 08/27/04
Posts: 2163
Loc: Lexington, Texas
Be kind to the geese Ana -you can cuss at them but that's enough. One used to stay near my ponds for several years all year long and I gave him bread at times. I never could approach him though.

Yup!! Amazon we're in business again -only for PC games but that's a good start. I have been playing zuma, luxor evolved and a few other arcade shooters. They are good but lack the story aspect that a game has.

Time to dent the housework as it certainly has been ignored for several weeks. HoHum.

Happy Monday all
_________________________
I wish I were a cat and belonged to me ~ My Aunt Helen Mary Rose

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#887423 - 05/13/13 02:58 PM Re: End of the World [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 65783
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Sorta, I'll take your heat! I love shorts weather. yay

Yankee, no worries, I don't hurt animals. hearts The ones here block the streets, the bike paths etc. They will not be budged and chase you if you try and cross their path. lol
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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#887434 - 05/13/13 04:26 PM Re: End of the World [Re: BrownEyedTigre]
gymcandy1 Online   happy
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 30153
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
Hey everybody. wave

I had a nice little work day. Nice and busy busy busy, running running, running. slapforehead

The world hasn't ended yet, so I went ahead and fixed my supper, and got ready for tomorrow's work day.

You know, just in case. duh

I'd better get my shower now. I don't want to have dirty underwear on if the world does end. blush

Hope you're all having a good day. yay

joe
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

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#887435 - 05/13/13 04:26 PM Re: End of the World [Re: gymcandy1]
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 7415
Loc: San Diego, CA
Still not in shorts, but considering it. Inside, fan going, still only 70 inside my stucco house. I'm waiting, but I did shave my legs just in case. rotfl
_________________________
WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.

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#887436 - 05/13/13 04:41 PM Re: End of the World [Re: gymcandy1]
Haroula Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 8105
Loc: Greece
sleep wave
_________________________
Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.



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#887444 - 05/13/13 05:47 PM Re: End of the World [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 42643
Loc: Alabama
Sweet dreams, Haroula sleep

Son is home for a second to rest. Then heading out to son's soccer game, and from there back to work til close tonight.

I've got dishes running again and think I will do some laundry. Back in a bitwave
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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#887449 - 05/13/13 06:49 PM Re: End of the World [Re: gymcandy1]
Space Quest Fan Online   content
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/17/01
Posts: 9719
Loc: Columbus,Ohio USA
Good afternoon Boomers. wave
_________________________
It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.

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#887482 - 05/13/13 10:40 PM Re: End of the World [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 42643
Loc: Alabama
Hi ya Quest wave

Poor sweet hubby just got home. Long day for him. Time to go to bed. Sweet dreams all sleep
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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#887483 - 05/13/13 10:46 PM Re: End of the World [Re: looney4labs]
Space Quest Fan Online   content
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/17/01
Posts: 9719
Loc: Columbus,Ohio USA
Hi looney!

Good night Boomers. sleep
_________________________
It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.

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#887484 - 05/13/13 10:52 PM Re: End of the World [Re: gymcandy1]
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/10/06
Posts: 13806
Loc: northern Wisconsin
Ana were you able to stay clear of the corner??? lol I spent most of the day with a friend at his doc appointment and got home just in time to eat something and head out to BINGO. I should have stayed home though tonight. lol

WooHoo Yankee glad you can PC game again. happydance Happy Gaming!!

Sharon hope your homecoming was everything that you wanted it to be and that kitty is happy!!

L4l I'm sure your dogs look small compaired to the others. Sassy would really look small. lol Glad you had a nice lazy mothers day!!

Sorta I would love those 70's!!!! Bring them on. We made the news with all the kice tsunamis. It has been cold here and the lakes still have ice. Lake Superior ice had moved out but with the winds we have had it blew it all back to shore and into the peoples beach homes. eek

wave
Nan

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#887486 - 05/13/13 11:02 PM Re: End of the World [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 65783
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Nan, I did manage to get a free day and instead I weed whacked, cleaned the garage, cooked up different foods to freeze and stock the fridge and went to dance class. Life is good.
I hope your friend is okay and that you were able to call BINGO!

Ana wave
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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