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#889542 - 05/23/13 10:58 PM TGIF
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 30151
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
Walking is the best possible exercise. Habituate yourself to walk very far.
Thomas Jefferson (1743 - 1826)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next time someone tells you that they want you to give 100% - do one better and give 103%! Here's how.....

We have all been to those meetings where someone wants over 100%. Here's to achieving 103%. Here's a little math that might prove helpful in the future!

If...

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26


Then...

H A R D W O R K

8 1 18 4 23 15 18 11 = 98 % Only

K N O W L E D G E

11 14 15 23 12 5 4 7 5 = 96 % Only



But...

A T T I T U D E

1 20 20 9 20 21 4 5 = 100 %



However...

B U L L - - - - (BS)

2 21 12 12 19 8 9 20 = 103%
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Accounting Memo
MEMO FROM ACCOUNTING DEPARTMENT

It has come to our attention recently that many of you have been turning in timesheets that specify large amounts of "Miscellaneous Unproductive Time" (Code 5309). However, we need to know exactly what you are doing during your unproductive time.

Attached below is a sheet specifying a tentative extended job code list based on our observations of employee activities.

The list will allow you to specify with a fair amount of precision what you are doing during your unproductive time. Please begin using this job-code list immediately and let us know about any difficulties you encounter.


Thank you,
Accounting
Attached: Extended Job-Code List

Code Description
5316 Useless Meeting
5317 Obstructing Communications at Meeting
5318 Trying to Sound Knowledgeable While in Meeting
5319 Waiting for Break
5320 Waiting for Lunch
5321 Waiting for End of Day
5322 Vicious Verbal Attacks Directed at Coworker
5323 Vicious Verbal Attacks Directed at Coworker While Coworker is Not Present
5393 Covering for Incompetence of Coworker Friend
5400 Trying to Explain Concept to Coworker Who is Not Interested in Learning
5401 Trying to Explain Concept to Coworker Who is Stupid
5402 Trying to Explain Concept to Coworker Who Hates You
5481 Buying Snack
5482 Eating Snack
5500 Filling Out Timesheet
5501 Inventing Timesheet Entries
5502 Waiting for Something to Happen
5503 Scratching Yourself
5504 Sleeping
5510 Feeling Bored
5511 Feeling Horny
5600 Complaining About Lousy Job
5601 Complaining About Low Pay
5602 Complaining About Long Hours
5603 Complaining About Coworker (See Codes #5322 & #5323)
5604 Complaining About Boss
5605 Complaining About Personal Problems
5640 Miscellaneous Unproductive Complaining
5701 Not Actually Present At Job
5702 Suffering from Eight-Hour Flu
6102 Ordering Out
6103 Waiting for Food Delivery to Arrive
6104 Taking It Easy While Digesting Food
6200 Using Company Resources for Personal Profit
6201 Stealing Company Goods
6202 Making Excuses After Accidentally Destroying Company Goods
6203 Using Company Phone to Make Long-Distance Personal Calls
6204 Using Company Phone to Make Long-Distance Personal Calls to Sell Stolen Company Goods
6205 Hiding from Boss
6206 Gossip
6207 Planning a Social Event (e.g. vacation, wedding, etc.)
6210 Feeling Sorry For Yourself
6211 Updating Resume
6212 Faxing Resume to Another Employer/Headhunter
6213 Out of Office on Interview
6221 Pretending to Work While Boss Is Watching
6222 Pretending to Enjoy Your Job
6223 Pretending You Like Coworker
6224 Pretending You Like Important People When in Reality They are Jerks
6238 Miscellaneous Unproductive Fantasizing
6350 Playing Pranks on the New Guy/Girl
6601 Running your own Business on Company Time (See Code #6603)
6602 Complaining
6603 Writing a Book on Company Time
6611 Staring Into Space
6612 Staring At Computer Screen
6615 Transcendental Meditation

7281 Extended Visit to the Bathroom (at least 10 minutes)
7400 Talking With Divorce Lawyer on Phone
7401 Talking With Plumber on Phone
7402 Talking With Dentist on Phone
7403 Talking With Doctor on Phone
7404 Talking With Masseuse on Phone
7405 Talking With House Painter on Phone
7406 Talking With Personal Therapist on Phone
7419 Talking With Miscellaneous Paid Professional on Phone
7425 Talking With Mistress/Boy-Toy on Phone
7931 Asking Coworker to Aid You in an Illicit Activity
8000 Recreational Drug Use
8001 Non-recreational Drug Use
8002 Liquid Lunch
8100 Reading e-mail
8102 Laughing while reading e-mail
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie. welcome

You know after 61 years your mind starts to evaporate to heck in a handbag. smirk

Every time you get less than 8 hours sleep a night you lose 2% of your brain's capacity. eek

Any time you get up at 3:30am you actually lose 3% of your brains. shocked

Did you know that every day that you do not spend at least 4 hours hunting arrowheads 5 cubic centimeters of your brain dies? crazy

That's really pretty bad.

That's like watching Dr Phill. rolleyes

That's like having to listen to my sister tell me about her day. hardwall

My brain's on it's last cerebral leg.

Visitation will be this coming Wednesday.

Bring beer.

I heard that beer is like a fountain of youth elixir on the brain. dance

Have a happy day all.

joe


Edited by gymcandy1 (05/24/13 11:12 AM)
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

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#889548 - 05/23/13 11:10 PM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
Darlene Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/10/00
Posts: 9479
Loc: Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! I've also heard that a fine red wine is like a fountain of youth elixir on the brain! wink A lovely Bordeaux or Napa Cabernet, preferably. A hearty Aussie Zin couldn't hurt. Maybe a lovely Tempranillo... wink

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Still Thursday evening for me....

I'm able to take Friday off, so it's a four-day weekend for me! Woohoo and booyah! It's like a mini-vacation. happydance I'm off to get my weekend started!

So.

To all abed, sleep To all awake, yay
_________________________
You become what you think about. Change your thoughts, change your life. - Dko

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#889550 - 05/23/13 11:28 PM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Online   happy
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 65774
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
WooHoo Darlene! Glad you have a long weekend! yay Enjoy!

Joe, I hope the creek goes down quick so you can get out there. woot

I'll be crunching puzzles in the corner. I have 15 people coming Monday and my house is a disaster. Somehow it will all come together...
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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#889561 - 05/24/13 02:44 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
Haroula Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 8102
Loc: Greece
Good morning Joe,Darlene,Ana and all who follow wave
Have all a great day. smile spring
_________________________
Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.



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#889562 - 05/24/13 02:57 AM Re: TGIF [Re: Haroula]
cailyn Online   sad
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 01/08/06
Posts: 6095
Loc: Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
Good morning Joe,Darlene,Ana,Haroula and all who arrive later wave Looks like it might be a washed out weekend here,for the campers. Tempertatures only going as high as the 50's with rain eek Well the coffee is brewing wishing a happy day for all sherlock
_________________________
I may not have gone where I intended to go,but I think I have ended up where I need to be.

Sue

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#889569 - 05/24/13 04:29 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 17612
Loc: Marlborough USA
catrub Good Morning Joe, Darlene, Ana, Haroula and Cailyn. Joe maybe you can do some arrowhead hunting today? Darlene I like your wine choices! Ana don't work to hard. Life is to short. Enjoy! Haroula hope you have asunny day! Cailyn a rainy day is always a good gaming day! Happy Day wished for all! catrub
_________________________
Gerry

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#889583 - 05/24/13 06:05 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 03/07/09
Posts: 5678
Loc: Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Hello and goodbye. wave Have a great Friday, everyone. spring

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#889584 - 05/24/13 06:16 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
GBC Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/06/07
Posts: 14783
Loc: Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers

Joe, You're too funny to lose brain power.

Darlene, enjoy your time off.

Ana, clening house is like putting a puzzle together anyway.

Haroula, happy day wished.

Cailyn, horrible weather for campers this weekend. My daughter is attempting it.

Gerry, enjoy the day.

Venus, easy day at work is wished for you.

Looks like a not so good weekend for weather around here. Not sure what plans will develop.
_________________________
Gail

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#889592 - 05/24/13 07:17 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
connie Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 07/12/02
Posts: 8197
Loc: winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. Darleen, I'm with you on the wine. To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful TGIF. Enjoy the long weekend all my Boomer buddies. Danish, BB Pancakes and Bacon Sandwiches in the NC. spring
_________________________
Connie

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#889603 - 05/24/13 08:57 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
Leeana Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 04/22/01
Posts: 4053
Loc: New York
Thank You Joe Good Morning, smile loved those funny codes lolol reminded me of mine a long time ago lolol and a super hello to you all and wishing YOU ALL a GREAT Happy, Healthy Weekend tomato
_________________________
'Worry looks around, sorry looks back, Faith looks up.'

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#889623 - 05/24/13 10:35 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 42636
Loc: Alabama
Fantastic Friday ya'll puppy

Hubby and I popped up bright and early to get the monkeys walking. While we were in the kitchen leashing up the dogs, Cully came popping around the door and yelled "Surprise."

So, Soot told the Cully to go back to bed and we'd get him when we got back. <roll eyes> Yeah, right, as soon as we left he went down to get his dad up and tell him "Mama L4L told me to come down and get you up."

Big Soot is at work and son is at work. The boys are running around being boys. In one second I'm going to go feed them and then we are going to the park. It is a beautiful day out there.

Tonight we are going to a ball game, so today will be busy.

Ooops, a second is up. wave
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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#889631 - 05/24/13 11:09 AM Re: TGIF [Re: looney4labs]
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 30151
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
Good morning everybody. wave

This morning I HAVE to mow the lawn, good Lord willing, and the creek don't rise.


oops I forgot. The creek has risen and it's raining now, so there go those plans. snicker

I went to Walmart for essentials, and I have put those up.

Now what to do? What to do? think

I'm going to the creek after the rain, make no mistake. I won't be doing anything but observing the depth of the water though. frown

The wait is definitely worth it though. I've been praying for a flood event like this to wash the creek out and get rid of leaves, limbs and grass. yes

For now I may have to do a little gaming. I've been playing BIA again. bravo

I hope you all have a super day. rah

joe


Edited by gymcandy1 (05/24/13 11:10 AM)
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

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#889648 - 05/24/13 01:54 PM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/10/06
Posts: 13804
Loc: northern Wisconsin
No I'm not just getting up. lol Been up a long time. Me and Sassy took a nice long, over a mile, walk. Then home and got ready for a doc appointment. Finished that and off to Menards, Target, and Walgreens!! Home now to relax before heading out with the taxi and on to work the fish fry!!

Joe thanks for the chuckles. Sorry about the rain and the creek so high. Soon though you will be finding all kinds of lovely arrowheads.

Ana, Ana, Ana sounds like you are going to be busy, busy, busy! lol At least there seems to be some fun things too.

Darlene nice!! Enjoy the extra long weekend!! Never been a wine drinker but maybe I should try one of those and see if I like it. I know a red wine is good for the heart and appetite.

Haroula have a lovely day!

Cailyn sorry about the rain for the long week end campers. 50's??? We are just now today making it that warm. Was 28 out there this morning.

Gerry have a lovely day!

venus another day?? WooHoo!! May work fly and go well.

Gail sounds like a gaming day??? Good luck to daughter!!

Connie have a lovely day!

Connie have a fun day. Thanks for the danish!!

L4l glad you were able to get the run in while it wasn't too warm. have a lovely day! Have fun at the ball game!!

Prayers for the Band of Angels around all of you that will be traveling this holiday weekend. May it be a fun and safe time!!

wave
Nan

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#889678 - 05/24/13 04:00 PM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
Space Quest Fan Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/17/01
Posts: 9718
Loc: Columbus,Ohio USA
Welcome to the weekend Boomers. happydance
_________________________
It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.

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#889685 - 05/24/13 04:29 PM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
3dobermans Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 10/01/05
Posts: 13230
Loc: Palouse country
Howdy-hoo. Been dealing with freezing temps, rain and high winds most of this week.
Looks like now I'm stuck in front of the computer..

May it be a safe and great holiday weekend for all.
_________________________
Reading is to the mind, what exercise is to the body - Joseph Addison

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