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#891552 - 06/01/13 11:14 PM Sip-&-Surf Sunday
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 30021
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
If your parents never had children, chances are... neither will you.
- Dick Cavett
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

DUMB CRIMINALS STORIES

BETTER HOLD ON TO THOSE PANTIES...THEY COULD COME IN HANDY

A repeat offender got a life sentence for a small-time shoplifting caper in Jupiter, Florida. The man stole $49.73 worth of boxer shorts, panties, a sports bra and some cigarette lighters from a Wal-Mart store. His fatal mistake was flashing a knife at a security guard -- which turned his petty theft into a felony. Since the man had been released from prison less than three years ago, Florida's repeat offender law required the judge to send him away for life without the possibility of parole.

INSULT TO INJURY

An unemployed sanitation worker in Miami is also facing life in prison -- for shooting himself in the privates. In a drunken stupor, the man reached for a pistol he had hidden in his pants. The gun went off, and the bullet struck the man in the... nuggets. At first, he told officers someone else had shot him, but changed his story after paramedics found the shell casing in his underwear. Cops ruled the shooting accidental, but the man was charged with a concealed weapons violation and possession of a firearm by a convicted felon. The maximum sentence for those crimes is normally 15 years but, because the man has a record as a violent career criminal, a Miami prosecutor is asking the judge to send him away for life. The man's public defender calls that "ridiculous," and says the man's injury is punishment enough.

HEY -- WHAT ABOUT MY ACCOMPLICE?

A luckless thief pleaded guilty to the attempted robbery of a convenience store in Detroit Lakes, Minnesota. The thief told a passereby he was going to rob the store, gave the man a dollar, and asked him to go inside and buy a scarf to hide his identity during the crime. The bystander took the dollar, went inside the store... and called the police.

OOPS! OF THE WEEK

A thief in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina has learned a valuable lesson: if you're going to steal restaurant equipment, be sure to remove pictures of the original owner's grandchildren before setting the stuff up in your own restaurant. John Ubbing, owner of Giovanni's Pizzeria in Calabash, North Carolina, lost an assortment of pizza-making equipment in a March robbery. A refrigerator stolen in the heist later turned up inside the Myrtle Beach restaurant -- where cops found pictures of Ubbing's grandchildren still stuck to the side of it. The owner of the second restaurant was arrested.

I TOLDJA COMPUTERS WERE RUINING AMERICA!

During a high school break-in in Plymouth, North Carolina, two burglars found a camera in one of the classrooms and amused themselves by taking pictures of each other committing the crime. When they couldn't figure out how to get the film out of the camera, they concluded it wasn't loaded and left it behind. The men apparently didn't realize they'd been fooling around with a digital camera that stores pictures on a computer disk. Investigators downloaded the snapshots to a computer and got a complete photographic record of the break-in. The suspects were quickly arrested.

I THOUGHT THIS'D BE THE LAST PLACE THEY'D LOOK...!

A Nevada fugitive wanted on fraud charges was arrested in Connecticut after he blew his cover by applying for a job... as a police officer. The Connecticut cops discovered the man's fugitive status during a standard background check. He had passed both the written and agility tests before being found out. Police called the man in to headquarters under the guise of getting his fingerprints, and served him with an arrest warrant instead.

AND FINALLY...

Admitting his 0-4 record is not impressive "on paper," trainers announced that Lucky, a German shepherd guide dog for the blind in Wuppertal, Germany, is available for his fifth owner. Lucky led his first owner in front of a bus, killing him. Then he led the second off the end of a pier, drowning him. He nudged his third owner off a railway platform in front of an express train, killing him. And he walked his fourth owner into heavy traffic, abandoning him to be hit and killed. The new owner won't be told of Lucky's record -- the trainers say the dog might sense nervousness "and do something silly."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


SIGNS YOUR CO-WORKER IS A COMPUTER HACKER

10. You ticked him off once and your next phone bill was $20,000.

9. He's won the Publisher's Clearing House sweepstakes three years running.

8. When asked for his phone number, he gives it in hex.

7. Seems strangely calm whenever the office LAN goes down.

6. Somehow he/she gets HBO on his PC at work.

5. Mumbled, "Oh, puh-leeez" 95 times during the movie "The Net"

4. Massive RRSP contribution made in half-cent increments.

3. Video dating profile lists "public-key encryption" among turn-ons

2. When his computer starts up, you hear, "Good Morning, Mr. President."

1. You hear him murmur, "Let's see you use that Visa card now, jerk."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

POLICE QUOTES

"The handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."

"If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

"So, you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

"Yes sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"

"Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

"The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or dog?"

"Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

"Life's tough, it's tougher if you're stupid."

"No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."

"Just how big were those two beers?

"In God we trust, all others are suspects."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie. welcome

Welcome to your sippin, surfin, sunny Sunday diner. yay

Well, it's sunny here. I hope it is where you are as well. thumbsup

"Let the sunshine in. The sunshine in."

Actually I prefer yesterday's cool cloudiness.

I hate the heat, hate the humidity, hate Summer. It really burns me up. mad

It's so sunny here, I haven't even gone to bed yet, and I feel the sun coming back already.

Summer time makes me miserable, or Le Miserable as they say in France. Oui! wink

I just thank the good Lord that I have so many friends here to share my misery with. lol

No I'm serious.................................................ly................................kidding. grin

Have a happy day everyone of yous.

joe


Edited by gymcandy1 (06/01/13 11:16 PM)
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

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#891556 - 06/01/13 11:39 PM Re: Sip-&-Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 64908
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
I think that Nan would gladly take some of your heat Joe. lol Blow some her way! It's a little chilly here right now and back to the 40's tomorrow night. Good sleeping weather.

Today is Insanity late morning and then back to the corner. Life is good...

Have a happy day everyone!
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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#891575 - 06/02/13 03:18 AM Re: Sip-&-Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1]
Haroula Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 7653
Loc: Greece
Good morning Joe,Ana and all who follow later wave
Have a nice and relax Sunday. dance
_________________________

Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.



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#891580 - 06/02/13 04:02 AM Re: Sip-&-Surf Sunday [Re: Haroula]
cailyn Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 01/08/06
Posts: 6043
Loc: Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
Good morning Joe,Ana,Haroula waveTaking a trip to New Hampshire today to do a little shopping!Coffee is ready! Hope everyone has a great day puppy
_________________________
I may not have gone where I intended to go,but I think I have ended up where I need to be.

Sue

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#891581 - 06/02/13 04:32 AM Re: Sip-&-Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 17144
Loc: Marlborough USA
spring Good Morning Joe, Ana, Haroula and Cailyn. Joe maybe a little hunting today? Ana hope you get some down time. Haroula looks like a beach day for you. Cailyn have a fun time shopping in NH! Happy Day wiahed for All! spring
_________________________
Gerry

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#891590 - 06/02/13 06:20 AM Re: Sip-&-Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1]
connie Online   content
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 07/12/02
Posts: 8067
Loc: winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. Breakfast out and a little shopping after. To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful Sunday. Bacon, Eggs, Home Fries, Toast, Danish, and Cinnamon Buns in the NC. spring
_________________________
Connie

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#891601 - 06/02/13 07:25 AM Re: Sip-&-Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1]
GBC Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/06/07
Posts: 14423
Loc: Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers

Joe, just getting over a heat wave in the 90's here. Today it's cooling off to the 80's.

Ana, wishing you an easy time in the corner.

Haroula, happy day!

Cailyn, enjoy your trip to NH.

Gerry, enjoy the day!

Connie, enjoy breakfast out and shopping. Danish sounds great with my coffee.

Church this morning. 80's weather here today. Glad the 90's are gone.
_________________________
Gail

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#891626 - 06/02/13 10:07 AM Re: Sip-&-Surf Sunday [Re: GBC]
manxman Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 07/23/02
Posts: 15097
Loc: Unionville
Good morning everyone wave Time to go do the weekly grocery shopping smile
_________________________
Sometimes lost is where you need to be. Just because you don't know your direction doesn't mean you don't have one.

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#891629 - 06/02/13 10:18 AM Re: Sip-&-Surf Sunday [Re: manxman]
Space Quest Fan Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/17/01
Posts: 9517
Loc: Columbus,Ohio USA
Have a great Sunday everyone. smile
_________________________
It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.

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#891630 - 06/02/13 10:19 AM Re: Sip-&-Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1]
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/10/06
Posts: 13638
Loc: northern Wisconsin
Yes, Joe please!! It is a nice 50F out there right now and I am heading to the beach of Lake Superior for my great-grandsons dedication!!! Hope the wind don't blow in off the lake.

Thanks for the laughs and may work fly so you can get started on your weekend!!

Ana have fun at class and may the corner move right along and be kind.

Cailyn prayers for the Band around you as you travel. Have fun!

Haroula have a lovely day!

Gerry have a nice walk and a lovely day!

Gail enjoy church!! Have a lovely day!

Connie have a nice walk and a good breakfast. Thanks for the danish!

Manxman have a lovely day!

Have a lovely day everybody!!

wave
Nan

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#891662 - 06/02/13 11:54 AM Re: Sip-&-Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 42260
Loc: Alabama
Super Sunday ya'll puppy

Hubby and I are back from our visit to daughter in Ohio. It was a very busy few days but lots of fun. Quite a lot needs to be taken care of today, but first, sit and sip and surf! I haven't even smelled a computer since last Tuesday. rotfl

Nan, hope the dedication is wonderful! How many greats do you have?

Just a note for you dog owners out there. We discovered the hard way that corn cobs can be very dangerous for dogs if they eat them. The vet told us that even when they chew them into small pieces, they tend to cling to the intestinal tract and can cause a complete blockage. Who knew?

Back in a bit wave
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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#891675 - 06/02/13 01:02 PM Re: Sip-&-Surf Sunday [Re: looney4labs]
Darlene Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/10/00
Posts: 9365
Loc: Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers and I hope you have a happy day as well!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!
_________________________
You become what you think about. Change your thoughts, change your life. - Dko

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#891698 - 06/02/13 02:01 PM Re: Sip-&-Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 42260
Loc: Alabama
Happy skooshing, Darlene wave

People and animals fed. Now it's time to unpack and start some laundry. Soot and I will go monkey walking as soon as the laundry is set. We'll have to take water and take some breaks but I Need to walk. Too much time in the car lately puppy

Then out to the store to get a few fresh things, followed by more laundry I'm sure.
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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#891703 - 06/02/13 02:27 PM Re: Sip-&-Surf Sunday [Re: looney4labs]
Gimli Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 06/15/05
Posts: 2314
Loc: Switzerland
Hi my Buddies,

this is another flyby (with a bad conscience). Since my solo exhibition starts Tuesday and tomorrow is "equipping the gallery"-day, I have sooooo much work to do still. One always thinks: "oh, I still have a lot of time" and then-whoosh-time is over...

Can you understand? duh

I don't crazy

I hope you all are in good mood and shape. Keep the smilies coming...

Happy Sunday from rainy Switzerland

Evelyne
_________________________
"You ask me what life is. That's like asking me what a carrot is. A carrot is a carrot is a carrot" (A. Chekhov)

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#891705 - 06/02/13 02:33 PM Re: Sip-&-Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 64908
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
After a rotten work morning where I made a made a horrible mess of things rotfl I got out my frustrations in a great Insanity class. It was double fun because a bunch of my old Zumba buddies were there even though 3 of the four left after 15 minutes. lol

I have to stay in the corner the rest of the day and fix my mess. shame

Have a happy happy day! Life is good.
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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#891726 - 06/02/13 04:16 PM Re: Sip-&-Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1]
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
True Blue Boomer

Registered: 04/16/05
Posts: 21212
Loc: Usually up an Alabama Tree
Evelyne, I know exactly what you mean .. I get to do a similar preparation each month and time flies before you know it

L4L and I just finished a 2.5 mile walk with the buddy boys to include a water break for all as it was Sunny Hot

Time now for some A/C, a blowing fan, whale music and some gardening wink

Happy Sunday!!

wave
_________________________
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games

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#891727 - 06/02/13 04:17 PM Re: Sip-&-Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 42260
Loc: Alabama
Ana, so glad you had a great class. Hope the mess is easily remedied. puppy

Evelyne, luck

Back from our walk. It was hot hot hot out there, but at least we got everyone out for a bit. Now it's watermelon time. wave
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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#891735 - 06/02/13 05:28 PM Re: Sip-&-Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1]
Sorta Blonde Online   content
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 7220
Loc: San Diego, CA
Just spent an hour trying to get my hose reeler to not leak and to actually reel without twisting the feeder hose. What a mess. I hurt all over, couldn't find a wrench to fit all the 'fittings' and ran in and out of the house and shed a million times. Maybe 2 million. I 'think' it's fixed now but I will have to go out later and see if there are any drips. Geez. What a way to waste the day.

In other news, my walking partner's mom was taken to emergency surgery night before last. She's in the mid-West he's out here with me. His dad called him. I didn't know till he came up to watch the evenings movies and while he was asking which one I wanted to watch, he casually inserted, 'my mom's in emergency surgery'. Uhuh? Well his mom is a doctor so I was thinking she was doing something, but it turned out SHE had a perforated ulcer (she didn't even know she had an ulcer) and her hubby came home to find her doubled up on the floor in extreme pain. Off to hospital and thankfully they operated immediately and things are going well. Need some prayers if you can spare some that her recovery is swift and complete. She's 82 and being a doctor, she's driving the staff at the hospital nuts. rotfl I told him that's a good sign that she's feeling OK.

Nothing else exciting here for now. Hoping things remain calm. No fireworks, no police, no ambulances or fire trucks. Happy neighborhood.
_________________________
WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.

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#891755 - 06/02/13 07:42 PM Re: Sip-&-Surf Sunday [Re: looney4labs]
Space Quest Fan Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/17/01
Posts: 9517
Loc: Columbus,Ohio USA
Watermelon sounds good looney. Enjoy!
_________________________
It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.

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#891763 - 06/02/13 09:34 PM Re: Sip-&-Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1]
Midge Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 04/30/00
Posts: 14632
Loc: Massachusetts
Hi guys. Back from my trip to Amherst for the 55th college reunion for my client's hubby. What a beautiful town Amherst is. Although the heat wave we were in was draining, it didn't spoil anything for the class reunion. Great people. But I'm tired as I had to go back to work for 5:00 to 8:00 for my normal shift.

Need to say good night. I'll be here in the AM. Sleep tight.

Midgie sleep
_________________________
Just do it.

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#891764 - 06/02/13 09:45 PM Re: Sip-&-Surf Sunday [Re: auntiegram]
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 30021
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
Hey everybody. wave

Work was murder today. tired

Yep, I'm dead.

I'll miss you all. lol

Every customer that didn't want to go out yesterday in the rain came out today, and they all needed mower parts or weed eater parts, or had a broken down mower. rolleyes

Well that's over with, and I am off for two days, and all is right with the world. woot

How was your day? happydance

Evie I hope your show is a fan-tastic one. You do such beautiful pottery that I know it will be. kissy

joe
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

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#891771 - 06/02/13 10:36 PM Re: Sip-&-Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1]
Lotus777 Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 03/12/06
Posts: 3270
Loc: Oregon
Just a fast flyby to say hello. Busy day. My poor Mum now has an infected tooth so have been giving her antibiotics and pain meds all weekend. She is with us overnight. She is so very confused...very hard to bear. She was an incredible woman in her day and for well into her eighties. Very cold and windy start for June here too. Hoping some of the garden will germinate!! Off for some tv before going to get my Mum for the night. Sorry to be so melancholy, I'm okay mostly. Best of luck to you Evelyne, your work is beautiful, you know I love it!!! Good Night and Happy Gaming!!
_________________________
Lotus
Life is like a hot bath. It feels good while you’re in it, but the longer you stay in, the more wrinkled you get.

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#891772 - 06/02/13 10:36 PM Re: Sip-&-Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1]
3dobermans Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 10/01/05
Posts: 13181
Loc: Palouse country
Evening; had major thunderstorms, one this morning and another this afternoon.

Time to recline and watch t.v.; if I can find anything to watch.

Have a great eve all and a great start to the week.


Edited by 3dobermans (06/02/13 10:37 PM)
_________________________
Reading is to the mind, what exercise is to the body - Joseph Addison

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#891773 - 06/02/13 10:36 PM Re: Sip-&-Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 42260
Loc: Alabama
WooHoo Joe, enjoy your days off.

I'm off to clean up the kitchen and then head to bed. Sweet dreams all sleep
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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#891784 - 06/02/13 11:37 PM Re: Sip-&-Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 64908
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Sweet dreams everyone...pounding head. long long day.

sleep
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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#891787 - 06/02/13 11:56 PM Re: Sip-&-Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1]
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/10/06
Posts: 13638
Loc: northern Wisconsin
What a lovely, wonderful day we had!! The sun was out and the winds were gone for the most part. We made it to 67F today but they are talking about frost advisories for tonight.

The dedication was a lovely time on the beach of Lake Superior! Lots of finger food and loads of fresh fruit!! Yummmmmy!! Was great to spend the day with the family!

L4l I have but two "greats" lol Abbi and Jude. Glad that you and Soot have made it home safely!! Bet it feels good to be home and sleep in ones own bed!

Aw Ana, so sorry that something went wrong this morning and I hope you were able to straighten it out after class!! HUGS!

Evelyne prayers that all goes well for the exibition!! Though I am sure that it will. Praying the Band around you!! HUGS!!

Trippy glad that you faired the bad storms!

Sorta your friends mom in on the list. Prayers that she has a complete and speedy recovery!! Glad the fireworks have been quiet too!!

Midge glad that you and client have arrived home safely and had a good time!!

Aw Lotus HUGS! Prayers for your mom continue!!

Time here to say good night. All that fresh air has me tired. lol

Night everybody sleep well and pleasant dreams!!

sleep
Nan

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