Do what you feel in your heart to be right - for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't.
Eleanor Roosevelt (1884 - 1962)
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Oxymoron's

Act naturally

Happily married

Microsoft Works

Holy war

Found missing

Resident alien

Minor Catastrophe

Affordable housing

Near miss

Great depression

Canadian army

Phone sex

United nations

Advanced BASIC

Genuine imitation

Death benefits

Airline Food

Women's rights

Good grief

Same difference

Almost exactly

Sensitive man

Government organization

Everything except

Civil War

Good kid

Sanitary landfill

Alone together

Legally drunk

Silent scream

British fashion

Living dead

Small crowd

Business ethics

Soft rock

Butt Head

Military Intelligence

Software documentation

New York culture

New classic

Sweet sorrow

Childproof

"Now, then"

Synthetic natural gas

Christian Scientists

Passive aggressive

Taped live

Clearly misunderstood

Peace force

Extinct Life

Temporary tax increase

New and improved

Computer jock

Plastic glasses

Terribly pleased

Computer security

Political science

Tight slacks

Definite maybe

Pretty ugly

Twelve-ounce pound cake

Diet ice cream

Rap music

Working vacation

Exact estimate

Religious tolerance

Freezer Burn

Honest Politician

Jumbo Shrimp

Loners Club

Postal Service
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So you want a day off. Let's take a look at what you are asking for. There are 365 days per year available for work. There are 52 weeks per year in which you already have 2 days off per week, leaving 261 days available for work. Since you spend 16 hours each day away from work, you have used up 170 days, leaving only 91 days available. You spend 30 minutes each day on coffee break which counts for 23 days each year, leaving only 68 days available.

With a 1 hour lunch each day, you used up another 46 days, leaving only 22 days available for work. You normally spend 2 days per year on sick leave. This leaves you only 20 days per year available for work. We are off 5 holidays per year, so your available working time is down to 15 days. We generously give 14 days vacation per year which leaves only 1 day available for work and I'll be darned if you are going to take that day off!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

3 guys go for dinner, each buys a $10 steak. At the end of the meal, they collect $30 between the three of them to cover the cost of the meals and gives it to the waitress. She goes back to the cash register, where the overlooking manager says "Those dinners are discounted, you need to give them $5 back." So the waitress gets the five dollars, and returns to the table. Not knowing how to split $5 between the three of them, she gives 1 dollar to each of the three patrons, and kept two for herself.

Now if you do the math, together they paid $30, got $3 back meaning they only paid $27. The waitress kept $2. This totals $29. Where did the last dollar go?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tongue Twisters

We've all at one time or another given our best try at tongue twisters, have a look through this funny list and see how you do...

Randy wondered why Willie really wasn't well.

Sam saw six shiny silver spoons.

Giddy gophers greedily gobble gooey goodies.

Slippery slimy snakes slide slowly.

Six shiny snails sighed sadly.

Pretty Patty Piggy pickles plump pink peppers.

Cheryl say Cher's sheer shawl Sunday.

Six seals slick sick seals.

How much dope could the dope dealer deal if the dope dealer could deal dope?

Sheep shouldn't sleep in shacks.

I slitted a sheet, a sheet i slit now i sit on the sheet i slit.

I wish I had an Irish wrist watch to watch on my Irish wrist.

Stick a sticker where its sticky where a sticker once was stuck.

She sells sea shells by the sea shore

Sure, the ship's ship-shape sir!

Does the wristwatch shop shut soon?

Try saying these 10 times fast...

Caution Golfers Crossing

Sun Shine City

Toy Boat

Unique New York

Mixed Biscuits

Red Leather, Yellow Leather
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie.

You know how to catch a unique rabbit?

Unique up on him.

Silly rabbit.

Stupid jokes are the funniest.

Early morning #2 coming up.

The early bird gets the worm you know.

So glad I'm not a bird.

I like my worms battered and deep fried.

Have a happy day everyone.

joe

Have a great Thursday Joe.

I guess I missed Wednesday. Oh well. Glad it's almost Thursday. So the news from the neighborhood is:

THREE houses nearby me got their water shut off today! 3, can you imagine all within 1/2 block. It started on Monday when my neighbor noticed the 'water authority' truck guy walking up the street and putting 'something' on 4 houses. They today, he was back and shut off and tagged 3 of those houses. On my walk, we took a look at the tags and they clearly were marked, shut off, do not tamper with.

Now for the GOOD news. Karma. Yup. One of those houses is a house that has frequent parties which causes lots of parking and traffic problems.

One of those houses is the one that just had a party that congested the street and was obviously a 'money maker'.

And the 3rd house? Best of all. It's the FIRECRACKER house. I am sooooo gleeful. Not for the people who have no water, but just because they are now inconvenienced in some way like the rest of us.

Dunno why the sudden, not paying the water bill bit for all of them and so close together. Geez!



Sister news: she's met another guy off the internet! Despite my warnings after finding and reading HIS ad (full of physical stuff) she met him for coffee a few weeks back. He was older, shorter and not what he purported to be, but despite being 'creepy' she decided to go out to dinner and a movie last week. She didn't tell me about this until this week when I asked about him. Uhhuh. Keeping it from me I guess. Hope he doesn't turn out to be dangerous. From what I read, he's just plain WEIRD and all that talk about 'physical' stuff scares me. In any case, she's twice his weight and about 4 inches taller than him. Guess she can take care of herself. I'm watching her.

Joe, I'll let you get up first and take all the worms you want.

SpaceQ, have a great day.

Sorta, I hope your sister made a wiser choice this time. I am sending positive thoughts.

Ana

Good Morning Joe, SpaceQ, Sorta, and Ana. Joe no worms for me thank you! Space enjoy your day. Sorta I hope your sister is careful. Ana don't work to hard today. Coffee hot and ready. Wishing All a great day!

Good Morning Boomers

Joe, have a wonderful day!

Ana, enjoy whatever the day holds for you.

Space, good morning.

Sorta, you have an extremely interesting neighborhood.

Gerry, thanks for the coffee.

Cailyn, are you sleeping in?

Dog walking this morning. Gaming this afternoon. Wishing everyone a great day!

Good morning everyone. Rain, rain, and more rain from Tropical storm Andrea. It shall be a gaming day I think. To all here and all who follow, have a Great Thursday. Danish, BB Pancakes, Fruit Cups, and Bacon Sandwiches in the NC.

Good morning boomers,have a nice day.

Thanks for the jokes, Joe. You always make me laugh.

Good morning Gameboomers! Got up early this morning and started playing. I'm currently playing 80 Days around the world and Lands of Lore 1. I made it to day 77 on 80-Days!
I hope I can complete the game without having to replay this section again.

Dr's appt this morning. I'm sure he'll have good things to say.

Have a great day all!

Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Hope your early morning #2 goes easy peasy!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Weekend's almost here!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!

Joe. I hate to admit it but I think I ate a few of those when I was little. Better then my friend though who ate the dog poo.

May work fly and the mowers sell. You must soon be coming up on a weekend off, maybe??? Thanks for the laughs and have a great day!

Ana what fun things you have planned today?? How was insanity class?? Is the big party this weekend?? Hope you are out of the corner and if not the project moves right along for you!!

I am leaving "Dodge"!!! It is cold and rainy and windy. Pretty sad when they are still talking about 'wind chill' in June. Our Lilacs are only inch to inch and a half buds. I should be having them in my house smelling soooooo good.

Going fishing where it is warmer and then having a BBQ!! Should be fun.

Gerry thanks for the coffee. Hits the spot. Have a lovely day!

Sorta that is verrrrry interesting about the neighbors. Prayers for sis and her online dating!!

Gail I think the last I saw Cailyn was going shopping in New Hampshire. But then she might be busy with the campers. Have a fun walk with the dogs and a lovely day! Happy Gaming!!!

Connie stay dry and safe in all that rain and wind! Thanks for the danish! Happy gaming!!

Sharon best of luck with the doc appointment. Happy gaming!!

Darlene may all go smoothly today at work. Have a lovely day!


Nan

Good Morning Boomers. Been missing the Diner. Not much time lately. Still getting garden in and tomorrow have appt for Mum with special dentist to try to save her tooth. Infection is much better though. Been very windy here in the daytime but is quiet now and foggy. Take care everyone and Happy Gaming.

Hi my Boomer friends!

I'am here.... and not here....

Sorry that I have such a lot to do with the show. I'am present in the Gallery most of the days. There are a lot of people telling me how beautiful my ceramics is and that it is a pleasure to look at the objects and then.... they leave the gallery again One piece sold till today (1 out of 25). OK, it's only day 3 of the show so don't lose hope.

Temps here changed from frosty winter 3 days ago to hot summer in the city (86F) today. My head doesn't like it a bit.

Keep cool, stay fit and healthy and don't forget to smile!

Love!

Evelyne

Hmmmm....I absolutely know I posted this morning but darn if I can find it.

Off with the boys. Have to find clothes for Per. He is growing like a weed.

Back later

Edit: It's later and we are back. Wow, shopping with a 5 and 3 year old. Now it's time for lunch and then we are all napping even though "we are not tired."

Good afternoon Boomers.

Went shopping. Staying home for the rest of the day because: TWICE I was in the left turn lane of a 3 lane street (2 straight, one turning), and TWICE someone in the straight lanes, waved a car from the business at the right side across ALL lanes which had them diving directly in front of ME as they got in the turn lane. Both times I narrowly avoided hitting the driver's door by inches. Not kidding. Thank goodness for great brakes. Both times, the 'offending' 'clueless' driver didn't hesitate, look at me, or in any way show that they had just avoided major damage or injury. Soooo I'm staying home and hoping that the nuts out there get a clue. Don't wave cars from the side across all THREE lanes when you have no idea that someone might just be driving in one of them. Geez!

See you tomorrow Boomers.

Home from a lovely day in the country!! I even brought back dinner but must be cleaned so will wait and cook it up on Saturday! Yummmmmy!!

Now that it is time for the sun to go to bed it has decided to show up so that is good. If only it will heat things up and show up again tomorrow.

Evelyne patience!!! Maybe they will come back and purchase those items that they liked soooo much!! Prayers!! Oh and HUGS too!!!

Night Space and Haroula sleep well and pleasant dreams!!

L4l hope the boys took a good nap lfor you!!

Wow Sorta glad you were paying attention!!!

Lotus prayers for your mom and hope the dentist can save the tooth. Happy Gardening!!!


Nan

Just passing through to say hi! I have a deadline looming so I'll be hiding until tomorrow night. Hope you all are having a happy day!

Hey! Where's my post???? I think I have a greamlin in my puter. Sorry. Oh Sorta you didn't have a good driving day. I know what that feels like. Clueless people out there.

I have an early shift tomorrow morning. Sleep well all. See you in the AM.

Midgie