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#892907 - 06/07/13 02:55 PM Garden Snakes Can Be Dangerous
Barry Offline
Settled Boomer

Registered: 01/29/07
Posts: 954
Loc: Sun City, AZ
GARDEN SNAKES CAN BE DANGEROUS...

Snakes also known as Garter Snakes (Thamnophissirtalis) can be dangerous. Yes, grass snakes, not rattlesnakes. Here's why.

A couple in Sweetwater , Texas , had a lot of potted plants. During a recent cold spell, the wife was bringing a lot of them indoors to protect them from a possible freeze.

It turned out that a little green garden grass snake was hidden in one of the plants. When it had warmed up, it slithered out and the wife saw it go under the sofa.

She let out a very loud scream.

The husband (who was taking a shower) ran out into the living room naked to see what the problem was. She told him there was a snake under the sofa.

He got down on the floor on his hands and knees to look for it. About that time the family dog came and cold-nosed him on the behind. He thought the snake had bitten him, so he screamed and fell over on the floor.

His wife thought he had had a heart attack, so she covered him up, told him to lie still and called an ambulance.

The attendants rushed in, would not listen to his protests, loaded him on the stretcher, and started carrying him out.

About that time, the snake came out from under the sofa and the Emergency Medical Technician saw it and dropped his end of the stretcher. That's when the man broke his leg and why he is still in the hospital.

The wife still had the problem of the snake in the house, so she called on a neighbor who volunteered to capture the snake. He armed himself with a rolled-up newspaper and began poking under the couch. Soon he decided it was gone and told the woman, who sat down on the sofa in relief.

But while relaxing, her hand dangled in between the cushions, where she felt the snake wriggling around. She screamed and fainted, the snake rushed back under the sofa.

The neighbor man, seeing her lying there passed out, tried to use CPR to revive her.

The neighbor's wife, who had just returned from shopping at the grocery store, saw her husband's mouth on the woman's mouth and slammed her husband in the back of the head with a bag of canned goods, knocking him out and cutting his scalp to a point where it needed stitches.

The noise woke the woman from her dead faint and she saw her neighbor lying on the floor with his wife bending over him, so she assumed that the snake had bitten him. She went to the kitchen and got a small bottle of whiskey, and began pouring it down the man's throat.

By now, the police had arrived.
Breathe here...

They saw the unconscious man, smelled the whiskey, and assumed that a drunken fight had occurred. They were about to arrest them all, when the women tried to explain how it all happened over a little garden snake!

The police called an ambulance, which took away the neighbor and his sobbing wife.

Now, the little snake again crawled out from under the sofa and one of the policemen drew his gun and fired at it. He missed the snake and hit the leg of the end table. The table fell over, the lamp on it shattered and, as the bulb broke, it started a fire in the drapes.

The other policeman tried to beat out the flames, and fell through the window into the yard on top of the family dog who, startled, jumped out and raced into the street, where an oncoming car swerved to avoid it and smashed into the parked police car.

Meanwhile, neighbors saw the burning drapes and called in the fire department. The firemen had started raising the fire ladder when they were halfway down the street. The rising ladder tore out the overhead wires, put out the power, and disconnected the telephones in a ten-square city block area (but they did get the house fire out).

Time passed! Both men were discharged from the hospital, the house was repaired, the dog came home, the police acquired a new car and all was right with their world.

A while later they were watching TV and the weatherman announced a cold snap for that night. The wife asked her husband if he thought they should bring in their plants for the night.

And that's when he shot her.
_________________________
I've seen God, and his name is iPad. Let us pray
yes, I do use my Hairbrush as a Microphone and Dance around in my Underwear. Thank you very much.


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#892908 - 06/07/13 02:58 PM Re: Garden Snakes Can Be Dangerous [Re: Barry]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 64474
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
rotfl

Ana wave
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How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

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#892910 - 06/07/13 03:39 PM Re: Garden Snakes Can Be Dangerous [Re: BrownEyedTigre]
Niki Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 10/30/11
Posts: 4624
Loc: UK
glad the little grass snake was ok snicker
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What are we? Women - What do we want? We don't know - When do we want it? Now

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#892941 - 06/07/13 07:20 PM Re: Garden Snakes Can Be Dangerous [Re: Barry]
manxman Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/23/02
Posts: 14777
Loc: Unionville
Barry, rotfl
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Sometimes lost is where you need to be. Just because you don't know your direction doesn't mean you don't have one.

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#892942 - 06/07/13 07:27 PM Re: Garden Snakes Can Be Dangerous [Re: Barry]
Winfrey Online   content
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 04/11/06
Posts: 4340
Loc: The Country
rotfl rotfl rotfl
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Would that I could be the peacemaker in your soul that I might turn the discord and the rivalry of your elements into oneness and melody
Gibran

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#892959 - 06/07/13 09:46 PM Re: Garden Snakes Can Be Dangerous [Re: Barry]
looney4labs Offline
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 42094
Loc: Alabama
I can see that happening puppy
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"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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#892976 - 06/08/13 01:07 AM Re: Garden Snakes Can Be Dangerous [Re: looney4labs]
Homer6 Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 04/18/02
Posts: 5467
Loc: Oklahoma, USA
rotfl rotfl slapforehead
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If something gets your goat, it just proves you have a goat to get.

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#892981 - 06/08/13 02:44 AM Re: Garden Snakes Can Be Dangerous [Re: Barry]
Haroula Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 7491
Loc: Greece
lol rotfl wave
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Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.



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#892987 - 06/08/13 04:38 AM Re: Garden Snakes Can Be Dangerous [Re: Barry]
Kaki's Sister Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 16880
Loc: Marlborough USA
lol rotfl Too funny Barry!! Thanks for the side hurting laugh! rotfl lol
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Gerry

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#893038 - 06/08/13 11:46 AM Re: Garden Snakes Can Be Dangerous [Re: Barry]
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 7081
Loc: San Diego, CA
Oh sooo funny! Wonder if it's true, but then again, strange things do happen. I know from experience. rotfl
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WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.

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#893076 - 06/08/13 03:27 PM Re: Garden Snakes Can Be Dangerous [Re: Barry]
niteowl07 Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 11/06/05
Posts: 7391
Loc: the dusty desert
rotfl yep,makes perfect sense to me,too, sorta ! rotfl

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#893158 - 06/08/13 07:56 PM Re: Garden Snakes Can Be Dangerous [Re: niteowl07]
Mad Offline
True Blue Boomer

Registered: 11/21/00
Posts: 23210
Loc: United Kingdom
Good one, thanks Barry !! lol lol lol
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Time : The Most Precious Commodity

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#893159 - 06/08/13 08:04 PM Re: Garden Snakes Can Be Dangerous [Re: Barry]
GBC Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/06/07
Posts: 14248
Loc: Massachusetts
Thanks Barry. lol
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