-1.My mate rang me and asked, "What're you doing at the moment?"
I said, "Probably failing my d------ t---."
-2.First thing this morning, there was a tap on my door.
Funny sense of humour my p------ has.
-3.My personal favorite has always been the one where the waiter comes up to the guy and says, "And how did you find your steak, sir?"
"I just moved my p----- and there it was!"
4.If you want to look at stars you use a telescope.
If you want to see above water from a sub you use a periscope.
When a doctor checks your heart he uses a stethoscope.
What do you use to look through walls?
-5.Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was o---------- in his field.
-6.Knock knock Who's there? Broken pencil Broken pencil who? Nevermind...it's p--------...
-7.How did Hitler tie his shoesies?
In little k-------!
-8.Did you hear about the female opera singer who had quite a range at the lower end of the scale. A: She was known as the d--- C d---.
-9.Q: What is the range of a trombone? A: About 10 yards if you've got a g--- a--.
-10.A termite walks into a bar and asks, "Is the b-- t----- here?"