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#895729 - 06/20/13 01:07 AM Thump Day
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 32198
Loc: Calera, Oklahoma
Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.
Steven Wright (1955 - )

By the time a Marine pulled into a little town, every hotel room was taken.

"You've got to have a room somewhere," he pleaded. "Or just a bed, I don't care where."

"Well, I do have a double room with one occupant - an Air Force guy," admitted the manager, "and he might be glad to split the cost. But to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms have complained in the past. I'm not sure it'd be worth it to you."

"No problem," the tired Marine assured him. "I'll take it."

The next morning the Marine came down to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. "How'd you sleep?" asked the manager.

"Never better."

The manager was impressed. "No problem with the other guy snoring, then?"

"Nope, I shut him up in no time" said the Marine.

"How'd you manage that?" asked the manager.

"He was already in bed, snoring away, when I came in the room," the Marine" explained.

"I went over, gave him a kiss on the cheek, said, 'Goodnight, beautiful,' and he sat up all night watching me."

It was October and the Indians on a remote reservation asked their new Chief if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild. Since he was a Chief in a modern society he had never been taught the old secrets. When he looked at the sky he couldn't tell what the winter was going to be like.

Nevertheless, to be on the safe side he told his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect firewood to be prepared. But being a practical leader, after several days he got an idea. He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked, "Is the coming winter going to be cold?"

"It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold," the meteorologist at the weather service responded.

So the Chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more firewood in order to be prepared. A week later he called the National Weather Service again. "Does it still look like it is going to be a very cold winter?"

"Yes," the man at National Weather Service again replied, "it's going to be a very cold winter."

The Chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of firewood they could find. Two weeks later the Chief called the National Weather Service again. "Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?"

"Absolutely," the man replied. "It's looking more and more like it is going to be one of the coldest winters ever."

"How can you be so sure?" the Chief asked.

The weatherman replied, "The Indians are collecting firewood like crazy."

Tom is applying for a job as a signalman for the local railroad and is told to meet the inspector at the signal box.

The inspector decides to give Tom a pop quiz, asking: "What would you do if you realized that two trains were heading towards each other on the same track?"

Tom says: "I would switch one train to another track."

"What if the lever broke?" asks the inspector.

"Then I'd run down to the tracks and use the manual lever down there", answers Tom.

"What if that had been struck by lightning?" challenges the inspector.

"Then," Tom continued, "I'd run back up here and use the phone to call the next signal box."

"What if the phone was busy?"

"In that case," Tom argued, "I'd run to the street level and use the public phone near the station".

"What if that had been vandalized?"

"Oh well," said Tom, "in that case I would run into town and get my Uncle Leo".

This puzzled the inspector, so he asked, "Why would you do that?"

"Because he's never seen a train crash."

Once ther was an insurance saleman from the city going out to the farm community to sell insurance to the farmers. He was way out in the country when he had engine trouble. Not knowing anything about cars he gets out and looks under the hood anyway.
All of a sudden he hears a voice that says " Its the carborator "

The insurance man jumps , and looks around, seeing no one . He then looks under the hood again hoping it is something visible that he could fix himself, when he hears the voice again " Its the carborator "

The man jumps again and turns around only seeing a large Brahma bull behind him. Scared out of his wits he takes off running to the nearest farm house he can see.

He knocks on the door, the farmer answers, the man immediately goes into his speal about the bull.

The farmer scratches his head and says " Does he have one straight ear and one floppy ear? "

The man nods "Yes, Yes ".

The farmer laughs and says " Don't worry about him he doesn't know as much about cars as he thinks he does"

Dr. Cutter is the local Veterinarian, known for his wry humor. He
surpassed himself one summer day when a city dog was brought to him
after an encounter with a porcupine.

After almost an hour of prying, pulling, cutting and stitching, he
returned the dog to its owner, who asked what she owed.

"Fifteen dollars, Ma'am," he answered.

"Why that's simply outrageous!" she stormed. "That's what's wrong with
you Maine people, you're always trying to over charge summer visitors.
Whatever do you do in the winter, when we're not being gypped here?"

"We raise porcupines, Ma'am."

A cowboy rides up to a Saloon, goes inside and orders a drink.
He's just about got the glass of whiskey to his lips, when a guy comes running up to the door, and yells "Hey Joe! Your house is burnin!"

The man leaps up, runs out and jumps on his horse just as he thinks "Hey, I don't have a house."

He goes back in and sits down, and raises the glass to his lips again. Just then a man comes running up to the door and yells, "Hey Joe! Your dad has died!"

So he leaps up, runs out, gets on his horse and starts to head down the street when he thinks, "Wait a minute ... my dad died years ago."

He goes back to the bar, and sure enough, he's just about to take a sip of his whiskey when another guys runs up. "Joe! Congratulations! You've won the lottery! There's a pile of money waiting for you down at the post office!"

The cowboy gets up, leaps on the horse, and starts flying towards the post office. He almost gets there when he thinks, "Hey, wait a minute. My name ain't Joe..."

I was in the airport VIP lounge en route to Seattle a couple of weeks ago. While in there, I noticed Bill Gates sitting comfortably in the corner, enjoying a drink. I was meeting a very important client who was also flying to Seattle, but she was running a little bit late. Well, being a straightforward kind of guy, I approached the Microsoft Chairman, introduced myself, and said, "Mr. Gates, I wonder if you would do me a favor."


"I'm sitting right over there," pointing to my seat at the bar, "and I'm waiting on a very important client. Would you be so kind when she arrives as to come walk by and just say, 'Hi, Mark'"


I shook his hand and thanked him and went back to my seat.

About ten minutes later, my client showed up. We ordered a drink and started to talk business. A couple of minutes later, I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was Bill Gates.

"Hi, Mark" he said.

I replied, "Get lost, Gates, I'm in a meeting."

Good morning everyboomie. welcome

Gymcandy joe coming at ya on a thumping good Thursday. yes

Yesterday was a very long day for me, and I was thumping tired as heck last night. tired

I was so tired that I couldn't even finish this post. wink

You see? sleep
There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats

#895730 - 06/20/13 01:20 AM Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
Darlene Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 02/10/00
Posts: 10371
Loc: Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers on this thumping good Thursday! Hope your Thump Day is thabulous!!! smile

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Still Wednesday evening for me....

Had dinner at daughter's tonight and it was sooooo wonderful! She is such a joy to be with and we had the most fantastic conversation. hearts It's getting to be a weekly thing! woot


To all abed, sleep To all awake, rah
Woohoo and booyah! smile Have an easy peasy day!

#895731 - 06/20/13 01:46 AM Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
Haroula Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 10027
Loc: Greece
Good morning Joe,Darlene and all. wave
Wishing you a great day. happydance
I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".

#895735 - 06/20/13 03:28 AM Re: Thump Day [Re: Haroula]
cailyn Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 01/08/06
Posts: 6145
Loc: Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
+Good morning Joe,Darlene,Haroula,Gerry when you come in and all boomers waveCoffee is ready!Wishing you all a great Thumpity thump day summer
I may not have gone where I intended to go,but I think I have ended up where I need to be.


#895738 - 06/20/13 03:48 AM Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Online   happy
True Blue Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 22803
Loc: Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe,Darlene, Haroula and Cailyn. Joe hope you get some sleep. Darlene how nice to live close enough to your daughter to have dinner with her every week! Haroula enjoy your day. Cailyn I'm up and ready for coffee. A Happy Day wished for all! bravo

#895751 - 06/20/13 06:57 AM Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
connie Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/12/02
Posts: 10260
Loc: winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. A trip to the bank and BJ's today. Ana, positive vibes on the test, mine is scheduled for next month. To all here and all who follow, have a Super Thump Day. Danish, Biscuits with Sausage Gravy, and French Toast in the NC. Biscuit bottoms for L4L. BB Pancakes for Midge. summer

#895754 - 06/20/13 07:15 AM Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 07/06/07
Posts: 18262
Loc: Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers

Joe, have a great day today!

Darlene, daughters are so enjoyable!

Haroula, happy day!

Sue, coffee is just the thing this morning. Thanks.

Gerry, good day.

Connie, a trip to the bank and BJ's go together. rotfl

To all here and on their way today, I'm wishing a wonderful one. wave

#895796 - 06/20/13 09:44 AM Re: Thump Day [Re: GBC]
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 32198
Loc: Calera, Oklahoma
Good morning everybody. wave

Another long hot day has started here in SE Oklahomer. razz

I work 1:00 to 10:00 today. YUK thumbsdown

The good news is it's Friday for me. bravo

I'll save the celebrating until 10:00 tonight.

I've gotta take Mom to the church at around 10:00.

I hope it's a good day for everyone. rah

There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats

#895797 - 06/20/13 09:44 AM Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 47583
Loc: Alabama
Thumping Good Thursday ya'll puppy

Hubby and I had a great walk at the park this morning, though the dogs were a wee bit draggy. Hubby now off to work, son is sleeping, dogs are fed and sleeping, and I'm hitting a wall here so I think I shall take all the monkeys upstairs and lie back down.

See you guys when I get up again. wave
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

#895805 - 06/20/13 10:04 AM Re: Thump Day [Re: looney4labs]
Darlene Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 02/10/00
Posts: 10371
Loc: Southern California

'Morning, again, sweet 'Boomies!

Wine and cheese pairing tonight at our local winery. Lovely....

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!
Woohoo and booyah! smile Have an easy peasy day!

#895846 - 06/20/13 12:28 PM Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
Yankee Clipper Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 08/27/04
Posts: 2402
Loc: Lexington, Texas
Here's the Rose family recipe for Fresh Bartlett Pear Cream Pie. Or it might be the Lebhertz (grandma)family. Anyhow my mother made it when Bartlett pears were in season along Lake Ontario.

Here goes.

9" pie shell-unbaked...400 degrees...35-45 min or until the pears are done

Line unbaked pie shell with 3 or 4 ripe Bartlett pears, peeled, cored and sliced. Mix 2/3 cup sugar, 1/4 cup flour and 1/4 tsp salt. Stir in 1 cup heavy cream. Pour over pears and sprinkle with cinnamon.

Refrigerate leftovers (if any). Never use canned pears

I hooked up a wall AC unit this AM mainly to keep Mr Asus Gaming Cmptr cool during summer. And what a difference . The little room is almost cooold. It didn't take long for doggy to claim the room and kits haven't discovered the improvement yet. When they do there won't be room for me.

Replaying Halo 1 on normal now and it isn't very hard -maybe I should try difficult although it's labeled suicidal. You know what they say about discretion and valor.

Keep cool all
I wish I were a cat and belonged to me ~ My Aunt Helen Mary Rose

#895851 - 06/20/13 01:19 PM Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Administrator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 75386
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Joe, if you ever feel bad about your shifts, poor Peter aside from working 50+ hours a week has to work until 4 am tomorrow night, then back to work at 9am Sat and he has three shifts and closes at 4am Sunday and that takes us to the wedding on Sunday and he has to be dressed and ready for pictures at 1PM. And he has to walk to his city place at 4am (mile and a half) to get his car to drive home. I feel so bad for him.
Don't feed the Trolls

#895859 - 06/20/13 02:06 PM Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/10/06
Posts: 14623
Loc: northern Wisconsin
Joe happy Friday!!!! Guess that means tomorrow off. happydance Thanks for the laughs and may work go well.

Darlene glad you had a wonderful time at daughters!! Tonight sounds like fun! Enjoy! May work fly and all go smoothly!

Haroula have a lovely day!

Cailyn thanks for the coffee. Have a lovely day!

Gerry have a lovely day!

Connie shoppity-shop!!! lol Thanks for the danish! Hits the spot since I didn't have time to eat this morning as I had to rush off to the hospital. Have a lovely day!

Gail what fun plans for the day now the girls are out of school?? Have a lovely day!

L4l glad you made it to the park with the dogs. Happy napping and hope you feel better when you get up!! HUGS!

lol Yankee! Guess the critters rule. That pie sounds delish and I don't even care for pears. lol Enjoy!!

Aw Ana......poor Peter. He surely will have to sleep fast. lol What ya got "cooking" today?? Have a lovely day!


#895871 - 06/20/13 03:30 PM Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 02/17/01
Posts: 15322
Loc: Upper Arlington, Ohio
Thanks for the laughs Joe. rotfl
It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.

#895873 - 06/20/13 03:35 PM Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Administrator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 75386
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Nan, I just stopped for lunch. I made two trips to Menards, spread 15 bags of cedar chips, need 3 more. planted hydrangeas and an assortment of other plants in the front. Hubby had made new lattice panels and we got them up in the back. My birdhouse hangs from one of them and mama bird was rudely awakened this morning while we moved her nest. She was squawking until we were done and put it back. She is happy now that she is back where she belongs.

We cleaned all the patio furniture and set up the patio and now I need to go back to Menards one more time.

After that, I need to shower, go get groceries and do a final dusting and vacuum. I am officially ready for company then. eek It's been a long week and I'm tired.

Oh, I hope to get the dogs to the river beforev I shower.

If anyone has the energy, I could still use help. hearts
Don't feed the Trolls

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