Hi ho, Hi ho
To work I will not go.
joe joe from cocomo
There was a man and his wife walking down the road on their way home.
The wife saw a baby skunk laying in the grass, so she decided to take it home and take care of it.
On the way home they came up to a river. The wife, concered for the skunk, asked her husband what to do with the skunk so he doesn't get wet.
The husband replied: "well, stick him up your dress".
The wife, again concered, asked: "what about the smell?".
The husband replied: "awww, he'll get use to it."
Fay Chester was a busy housewife with a demanding husband, six children and a large house. The only relief she got from her chores was the twice-a-week bridge game she shared with a dozen other women. The only flaw in the bridge club relationship was that Fay loved to tell off-color stories and the girls didn't want to hear them.
To teach Fay a lesson, the other women decided that the next time she told an off-color story, they'd just get up, walk out, meet at another home but without Fay.
Sure enough, at the next meeting, Fay started, "You know, girls, there's a rumor going around that a busload of prostitutes will be leaving in the morning for that big gold find up in Alaska, and they say...." Just then, the women all stood up and started for the door. Fay was disconcerted but only for a moment, then she understood what was going on and said, "Hey! Girls! Hold on, hold on! There's plenty of time 'cause the bus doesn't leave till morning!"
A) The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the
British or Americans.
(B) On the other hand, the French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart
attacks than the British or Americans.
(C) The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks
than the British or Americans.
(D) The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer
heart attacks than the British or Americans
(E) Conclusion: Eat & drink what you like. It's speaking English that kills
At one point during a game, the coach said to one of his young players, "Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?"
The little boy nodded in the affirmative.
"Do you understand that what matters is whether we win together as a team?"
The little boy nodded yes.
"So," the coach continued, "when a strike is called, or you're out at first, you don't argue or curse or attack the umpire. Do you understand all that?"
Again the little boy nodded.
"Good," said the coach. "Now go over there and explain it to your mother."
A man joins a big corporate empire as a trainee.
On his very first day of work, he dials the pantry and shouts into the phone - "Get me a coffee, quickly!"
The voice from the other side responded, "You fool you've dialed the wrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to, dumbo?"
"No," replied the trainee.
"It's the CEO of the company, you fool!"
The trainee shouts back, "And do YOU know who YOU are talking to, you fool?!"
"No." replied the CEO indignantly.
"Good!" replied the trainee, and puts down the phone.
A little guy gets on a plane and sits next to the window. A few minutes later, a big, heavy, strong, mean-looking, hulking guy plops down in the seat next to him. The huge man glares threateningly at his neighbor, crowds the little guy so much that he's flattened against the window, and immediately falls asleep.
After the plane takes off, the little guy starts to feel a little air sick, but he's afraid to wake the big guy up to ask if he can go to the bathroom. After a few attempts, he realizes that he can't climb over him, and so the little guy is sitting there, looking at the big guy, trying to decide what to do.
Suddenly, the plane hits an air pocket and an uncontrollable wave of nausea passes over the little fellow. He just can't hold it in any longer and finally pukes all over the big guy's chest.
About five minutes later the big guy wakes up, looks down, and sees the barf all over his chest.
"So," the little guy says brightly, "are you feeling better now?"
Good morning everyboomie.
I really love a week where Saturday follows Tuesday, don't you?
It's kinda like leap year though. It only happens once every 4 weeks.
It's a leap week.
I'm leaping for joy as I speak.
Leaping lizards will you look at the time.
I've got to get to my bedroom, leap into bed, and count leaping sheep.
Leap tight everybody.
Have a happy day.