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#897394 - 06/27/13 08:01 PM TGIF
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 29787
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
Sometimes it's hard to avoid the happiness of others.
David Assael, Northern Exposure
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Back during the days of the Soviet Union, it took 10 years to get a car after you paid for one.
Once, a young guy went to the car dealership to order a car. He paid the money, and the asked when can he come and get the car.
"It will be here, waiting for you, exactly 10 years from today".
The man signed the papers, started waliking away and then stooped, turned and asked the salesman: "Wait, will it be ready at the morning or at the afternnon".
"What difference does it make?", asked the salesman.
"Well", answered the man, "the plumber is coming in the morning".
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Texan walks into a pub in Ireland and clears his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He says, "I hear you Irish are a bunch of hard drinkers. I'll give $500 American dollars to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back-to-back."

The room is quiet and no one takes up the Texan's offer. One man even leaves. Thirty minutes later the same gentleman who left shows back up and taps the Texan on the shoulder. "Is your bet still good?", asks the Irishman.

The Texan says yes and asks the bartender to line up 10 pints of Guinness. Immediately the Irishman tears into all 10 of the pint glasses drinking them all back-to-back. The other pub patrons cheer as the Texan sits in amazement.

The Texan gives the Irishman the $500 and says, "If ya don't mind me askin', where did you go for that 30 minutes you were gone?"

The Irishman replies, "Oh...I had to go to the pub down the street to see if I could do it first."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Scotsman, carrying a huge suitcase, has been riding a London bus for five miles along its route, all the while attempting to avoid the ticket collector. Finally, the conductor manages to corner him and tells him to pay up: "You've been on for five miles--that'll be 50p, please, and 10p for your suitcase."

The Scotsman responds: "I ha'not, I want a ha'penny fare, just got on this vera moment."

They begin to argue, and the ticket collector becomes more and more enraged and finally, as the bus is passing over London bridge, he grabs the Scotsman's suitcase, and hurls it out of the bus.

It lands in the river and sinks without a trace.

The Scotsman stands shocked for a moment and says to the ticket collector, "Not only are ya trin' to overcharge me for the ticket -- but now you're gone 'n drowned me boy Jonny."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Heaven is where the police are British, the Chefs are Italians, the mechanics German, the lovers french and it is all organized by the Swiss.
Hell is where the police are German, the chefs are British, the mechanics French, the lovers Swiss and it is all organized by the Italians.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A new monk at a monastery took a vow of silence. He was allowed to speak only once a year, and then he could only say TWO words.

At the end of the 1st year he went to the head monk, and said, "Bed Hard".

At the end of the 2nd year he went to the head monk, and said, "Room Cold".

At the end of the 3rd year he went to the head monk, and said, "I Quit".

The head monk replied, "It doesn't surprise me, all you've done since you got here is complain."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Three engineers and three accountants are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three accountants each buy tickets and watch as the three engineers buy only a single ticket.

"How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks an accountant. "Watch and you'll see," answers an engineer. They all board the train. The accountants take their respective seats but all three engineers cram into a restroom and close the door behind them.

Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says, "ticket, please." The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.

The accountants saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea. So after the conference, the accountants decide to copy the engineers on the return trip and save some money (being clever with money, and all!) When they get to the station they buy a single ticket for the return trip.

To their astonishment, the engineers don't buy a ticket at all. "How are you going to travel without a ticket?" says one perplexed accountant.

"Watch and you'll see," answers an engineer. When they board the train the three accountants cram into a restroom and the three engineers cram into another one nearby. The train departs.

Shortly afterward, one of the engineers leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom where the accountants are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, "ticket, please."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie. welcome

Holy Hanna it's getting hot here! shocked

We're not at 113+ like Andrea, but we're starting a string of 100 degree+ days today. smirk

Well, a string of 2 hundred degrees + days. razz

I start a string of 1-5:00am starts. lol

Early to bed, and early to rise makes a man frumpy, grumpy, and a wise guy. snicker

That's not exactly true.

I've never been very wise. duh

Frumpy and grumpy, yes. Wise, no. sherlock

A smart Alec...........yes.

Have a happy day everyone.

joe
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

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#897405 - 06/27/13 09:15 PM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
MaG Offline
Administrator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 12/28/99
Posts: 65261
Have a nice Friday, Joe and Diner Boomers. wave

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#897410 - 06/27/13 09:34 PM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
Midge Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 04/30/00
Posts: 14469
Loc: Massachusetts
Thanks Joe for your openers. Hi MaG kissy I have an early work shift in the morning. Not as early as Joe of course but early enough for me thank you.

See you on the flip side.

Midgie hearts
_________________________
Just do it.

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#897437 - 06/27/13 11:29 PM Re: TGIF [Re: Midge]
Darlene Online   content
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/10/00
Posts: 9153
Loc: Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Frumpy and grumpy, eh? wink Hope your Friday goes easy peasy!

Hello, MaG! smile

Hey, Midgie! wave

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Still Thursday evening for me....

It's a hot one here.....

So.

To all abed, sleep To all awake, woot
_________________________
You become what you think about. Change your thoughts, change your life. - Dko

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#897442 - 06/27/13 11:44 PM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Online   happy
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 63377
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Good morning Joe, MaG, Midgie and Darlene. hearts

Happy Friday to all!

Ana wave
_________________________
How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

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#897455 - 06/28/13 02:34 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
Haroula Online   happy
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 6912
Loc: Greece
Good morning Joe,MaG,Midgie,Darlene,Ana and all who come in later. wave
Have all a great Friday. happydance
_________________________
As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.





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#897463 - 06/28/13 03:54 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
copper Offline
Shy Boomer

Registered: 10/13/04
Posts: 71
Loc: Vancouver Canada
Good morning. Can't sleep, anybody know of a good game to put me to sleep

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#897471 - 06/28/13 05:01 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 16314
Loc: Marlborough USA
dance Good Morning Joe, MaG, Midgie, Darlene, Ana, Haroula and Copper. Joe I hope you get some relief from the heat. MaG it's always nice to see you visit the Diner. Midgie hope work whooshes by! Darlene enjoy your Friday. Ana have you had some quiet time after the wedding? Haroula have a great day. Copper you are probably asleep by now so happy dreams. Cailyn coffee is on. Wishing you all a smiley day! dance
_________________________
Gerry

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#897482 - 06/28/13 06:33 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
connie Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 07/12/02
Posts: 7810
Loc: winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. Copper, welcome to the Diner. I think a bit of shopping will be on the agenda for today. To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful TGIF. Danish, Fruit Cups, Bacon Sandwiches, and French Toast in the NC. summer
_________________________
Connie

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#897484 - 06/28/13 07:09 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
GBC Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/06/07
Posts: 13762
Loc: Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers

Joe, MaG, Darlene, Midgie, Ana, Haroula, Gerry and Connie. Good morning!

Copper, welcome to the diner. welcome

Another rainy day. Rain put a damper on my plans today. frown
_________________________
Gail

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#897488 - 06/28/13 07:27 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
Midge Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 04/30/00
Posts: 14469
Loc: Massachusetts
Well, I'm off to work tra la. Copper welcome to the diner. Have a great day everyone. smile

Midgie hearts
_________________________
Just do it.

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#897525 - 06/28/13 11:25 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Online   happy
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 63377
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Off to run the dogs at the river before I run out of steam. I felt better when I woke up and feeling a downward slide.

My youngest went to the Hawks parade this morning, not sure if Peter went since he lives near there right now. Go Hawks! hearts

Hope you all are enjoying your day!
_________________________
How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

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#897529 - 06/28/13 11:26 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 6778
Loc: San Diego, CA
It's finally Friday! Things to do, people to see, places to go. Money to spend. Ha.
_________________________
WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.

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#897548 - 06/28/13 01:12 PM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 41481
Loc: Alabama
Fantastic Friday ya'll puppy

Well, what a busy morning! My right leg was not feeling up to snuff, so chickened out on our walk this morning to let it rest. Got up around 8:30 and as I walked into the kitchen the phone rang. I didn't recognize the number but answered it anyway. A voice immediately launched into a convoluted tale. I interrupted to ask who they were calling as I get wrong numbers from time to time, and the voice was not ringing any bells for me. However, this one was not. Turned out to be a Bible Study friend who I hadn't seen in several months, and my brain wasn't "up" yet. rotfl

She stopped in for a visit. We had a nice chat. As soon as she left, the phone started ringing. I finally got off the phone and now it's time to say "hi."

After a bit of surfing, I'm bopping out to get a couple of dinner ingredients so I can get all the prep work done before I get too tired. Hubby will do a major shop on his way home. If he gets off too late, he and I can do it tomorrow as we have an errand or two to run and we'll be in town anyway.

Joe, 100+ is not fun! Hydrate hydrate hydrate.

MaG, I watched a Cesar rerun yesterday. He was working with a Frenchie and I thought of you wave

Midgy are you feeling better? What are you doing on the 4th?

Darlene, happy skooshing!

Ana, did you guys have fun at the river?

Haroula, what's up for the weekend?

Hi ya Cooper, we talk about everything but games in here. You'll in a lot of recommendations in either the The Darkside for everything but adventure games, The Adventure Forum for adventure games, or the Casual forum.

Gerry, has summer found you yet?

Connie, have fun shopping!

Gail, sorry your plans had to change. What's the forecast?

WooHoo Sorta, go get em wave

Off to get groceries before I can't. Back in a bit wave





Edited by looney4labs (06/28/13 01:17 PM)
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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#897552 - 06/28/13 01:32 PM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/10/06
Posts: 13277
Loc: northern Wisconsin
Joe that is just too early to have to be getting up! lol May work fly and go well. Stay cool in the heat.

wave MaG!!

Midge have fun at work! Hope you feel better! HUGS!

Haroula have a lovely day!

Copper welcome to Joe's Diner!! welcome

Gerry have a nice walk and a lovely day!

Aw Gail sorry it is raining and it put a damper on your plans. If it makes ya feel better, it is cloudy and rainy here too. Have a lovely day!

Connie thanks for the danish!! Shoppity shop!!

Ana hope you are feeling better and that you and the dogs have a lovely run at the park. May the corner be kind and move right along for you!! HUGS!

Darlene may work fly and all run smoothly! Have a lovely day! Weekend tomorrow!!!

L4l hope that leg gets feeling better for ya. Have fun with the groceries!!! grin

Sorta sounds like a nicely planned day! Have a fun time!!

Was up early and my niece picked me up and gave me a ride to the Moose Lodge to help put our news letter together. Now home and no plans till taxi time.

wave
Nan

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