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#897630 - 06/28/13 09:45 PM Saturdiner
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 32190
Loc: Calera, Oklahoma
Many persons have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through self-gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.
Helen Keller (1880 - 1968)

One day there were three surgeons who were arguing loudly over who was the best surgeon.
"Oh yeah," the first one yells. "One day there was this guy who came in with all his fingers cut off, I sewed them back onto his hand, and he's playing piano for the queen of England!"
"Oh, that's nothing," shouts the second one. "One day this guy came in with his arms and legs cut off, I sewed back onto his body, and now he's on the Olympic track and swimming teams!"
"Oh, that isn't jack compared to what I'VE done," bellows the third one. "One day there was this guy who was riding a horse, on cocaine, got hit by a subway train, and all that was left was the guy's body and the horse's behind, I sewed them together, and now he's the President of The United States!"

Three old men are at the doctor for a memory test.
The doctor says to the first old man, "What is three times three?"
"274" was his reply.
The doctor worriedly says to the second man, "It's your turn. What is three times three?"
"Tuesday" replies the second man.
The doctor sadly says to the third man, "Okay, your turn. What's three times three"?
"Nine" says the third man.
"That's great!" exclaims the doctor. "How did you get that"?
"Jeez, Doc, it's pretty simple," says the third man. "I just subtracted 274 from Tuesday."

Soon after our last child left home for college, my husband was resting next to me on the couch with his head in my lap.
I carefully removed his glasses. "You know, honey," I said sweetly, "Without your glasses you look like the same handsome young man I married."
"Honey," he replied with a grin, "Without my glasses, you still look pretty good, too!"

A doctor tells his old patient: "Mr. Jones, the last check you gave me came back".
The patient answers: "Then we are even, Doc. So did my arthritis"

An Irish guy goes into a bar in America and asks for three separate shots of Whiskey. He drinks one, waits a little bit, then drinks the second one, waits a little bit more, and then drinks the third one. This goes on for a few days, and finally the bartender tells him: "You know sir, I can put all three shots in one glass for you".
The guy replies "No, I prefer it this way. You see, I'm very close to my two brothers. They are both still in Ireland, and this represents a drink for each of us. When I drink like this, I feel like we are drinking together again, all three of us".

This goes on for several months, and then one day the guy walks into the pub and asks for only two shots.
The bartender is worried that maybe something happened to one of his brothers.
"Is everythink OK"? he asks.
"What do you mean", answers the guy.
"Well, for months you have been asking for three shots. now you order two. Did something happen to one of your brothers?", the bartender asks.
"No", replies the Irish guy, "No No they're fine. It's just that I gave up drinking".

A guy walks into a bar and shouts, "When I drink, everybody drinks!". Everybody is cheering him and applauding like crazy.
Feeling great, he finishes his beer, asks for another one and shouts, "When I drink again, everybody drinks again!". Once again, everybody is cheering him, he is the hero of the bar.
When he is done drinking, he pulls out his wallet and shouts, "When I pay, everybody pays!".

A guy goes into a bar. He orders a beer, and after a while he needs to go to the toilet. Because he is afriad someone will drink his beer, he puts a small note on it that says: "I spit in this beer, do not drink!".
After a few minutes he returns, and there is another note on the beer, saying "So did I!".

Two men arrive at the Pearly Gates at about the same time, both wanting to know if they will be admitted to heaven. St. Peter asks the first man his name, where he is from, and what he did in life.

The man answers that he is John Smith and that he was a taxi driver in New York City.

St. Peter looks through his book, then gives the man a luxurious silken robe and a golden staff, and bids him welcome into heaven for his eternal reward.

St. Peter then asks the second man the same questions. He replies that his name is Thomas O'Malley, and that he was a Catholic priest in Chicago. St. Peter looks in his book, then gives him a cotton robe and a wooden staff, and bids him to enter into heaven for his eternal reward.

Father O'Malley says, Wait a minute! Why did that taxi driver get a silken robe and golden staff while I, a Catholic Priest and a man of God, got a cotton robe and wooden staff?

St. Peter told him that the rewards in heaven are based on results, and while Father O'Malley preached, people slept, but while John Smith drove, people prayed!

Good morning everyboomie. welcome

Hey Copper, maybe Father O'Malley could give you tips on falling asleep. yay

I slept like a baby last night. pacify

I woke up every hour wet and hungry. snicker

No problem. I'll catch up on my sleep at work. thumbsup

I just hope I don't run over anybody with the order picker. cool

Hey wait a minute, what day is this? think

Oh yes, the day before tomorrow,....................and tomorrow is the day before the tomorrow I'm looking for.

My next day off. penguin

Have a happy day everyone.


Edited by gymcandy1 (06/28/13 09:48 PM)
There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats

#897632 - 06/28/13 09:50 PM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/16/05
Posts: 27714
Loc: Usually up an Alabama Tree
Don't work too hard Joe!

Hello gang .. just finished a hectic two week schedule and am looking forward to a weekend off .. I should sleep good tonight!!

See you all in the morning wave


hearts L4L
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music

#897633 - 06/28/13 09:51 PM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
Midge Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 04/30/00
Posts: 15611
Loc: Massachusetts
Thanks Joe for making me laugh. I hope you have a great Saturday. I'm headed for bed. I have a split shift tomorrow. See you then.

Midgie hearts
Just do it.

#897652 - 06/29/13 12:20 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Administrator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 75350
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Good morning Joe, soot and Midgie! yay I hope you all enjoy your day. It appears it will be a stormy one again so I'll be working in the corner with no walk. If by chance that changes I will run the dogs and then work. puppy

Have a wonderful day! Life is good.

Ana wave
Don't feed the Trolls

#897655 - 06/29/13 02:38 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: BrownEyedTigre]
cailyn Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 01/08/06
Posts: 6145
Loc: Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
Good middle of the night Joe,Ana,Soot Midge waveI'll put the coffee on! Ana how are you feeling? Wishing you all a great day summer
I may not have gone where I intended to go,but I think I have ended up where I need to be.


#897658 - 06/29/13 02:53 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
Haroula Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 10027
Loc: Greece
Good morning Joe,Ana, soot,Midgie,Sue and all who come in later.
Have all a nice day. wave happydance
I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".

#897672 - 06/29/13 06:32 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 07/06/07
Posts: 18262
Loc: Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers

Joe, hope your next day off arrives quickly for you.

Soot, enjoy your time relaxing today.

Midgie, how have you been feeling?

Ana, hope you get a chance to run the dogs today. Weather hasn't been too cooperative either.

Sue, coffee? Yay! enjoy the day.

Haroula, happy day!

Good day to All! Happy weekend! yay

#897673 - 06/29/13 06:36 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
connie Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/12/02
Posts: 10254
Loc: winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. Not sure what's on the agenda for the day. To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful Saturday. Danish, Bacon, Eggs, Hash Browns, and Toast in the NC. summer

#897684 - 06/29/13 08:53 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
MsMercury Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 02/08/06
Posts: 12095
Loc: Scotland
Hello Joe, Soot, Midge, Ana, Cailyn, Haroula, Gail, Connie and all who stop by later! hearts

Sorry I've not been here in wee cake business has really taken off, I'm so grateful for that, but it doesn't leave me much time for anything else! I'll never forget you all here though, I do lurk most days. Love to you all, will try to get here more often!

Mary hearts
"It's not what you have in your life
but who you have in your life that counts." puppy

I'm not getting old....just 'Marvelously Mature'! grin

#897694 - 06/29/13 10:02 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 47568
Loc: Alabama
Super Saturday ya'll puppy

Hubby and I will be going out to do errands when he gets back from town. After that I'm going to clean out my recipe box and do some organizing so I can find what I want easily. Hubby has been burning the candle at both ends for several weeks now, so the rest of the weekend will be spent doing as little as possible wave
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

#897699 - 06/29/13 10:25 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
venus Offline
Staff Reviewer
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 03/07/09
Posts: 7724
Loc: Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Hi, everyone. wave wave I'm back from a long hiatus. Sorry I've been gone so long. It's been getting harder and harder to post in the mornings, even for a quick hello and goodbye, as I'm always in such a rush for work. I haven't even been turning my computer on, as it's too distracting. lol I'm going to try to improve on that, as I really miss coming here. sad

As for now, I'm going to try and catch up on some of what I've missed out on. Looks like there's a new list, so I'm going to have to check that out. grin

And now, I wish everyone here a fantastic Saturday, and hope to see you again tomorrow. wave
Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?

#897702 - 06/29/13 10:28 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 47568
Loc: Alabama
Venus, glad you found time to say "hi." How is work going?
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

#897713 - 06/29/13 10:40 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 02/17/01
Posts: 15321
Loc: Upper Arlington, Ohio
Great jokes today Joe. Have a great day everyone.
It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.

#897714 - 06/29/13 10:42 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/10/06
Posts: 14623
Loc: northern Wisconsin
Joe, does that mean that today is like HUMP day??? think May the time fly and the mowers sell. Thanks for the laughs!

Soot I hope that you have a very relaxing weekend as I think you deserve it. Have a lovely day!

Midge hope you are feeling better and have fun at work. HUGS!

Ana more rain???? I am ready to say "enough is enough"!! Things are really soggy and I'm sure I killed a gazillion mosquitoes this morning walking Sassy. lol

Hope that you are feeling better today and that the corner is kind!

Cailyn thanks for the coffee and have a lovely day!

Haroula have a lovely day!

Gail hope it is nice for a walk with the dogs. Have a lovely day!

Connie have fun what ever you do and thanks for the danish!

Mary so good to see you posting. I love those beautiful cakes that you are making!!! Glad that it is going well also!! Hope to see you again soon!

L4l hope the errands are quick ones and some be fun! Have a lovely relaxing weekend!!

venus I been wondering about you missing in action. How is work going? Are you still killing that person with kindness??? Have a lovely day!

No plans for here yet!


#897730 - 06/29/13 11:24 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
venus Offline
Staff Reviewer
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 03/07/09
Posts: 7724
Loc: Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Hi, L4L. wave Work is fine, if a bit hectic. My manager apparently stopped by when I wasn't there and said everything looked really good, so I take that as a good sign. grin Hope you and hubby get a chance to relax after all the hectic activity!

Have a great day, Space Quest.

Hi, Nan. wave Well, knowing that person as I do, I think it's best just to avoid her. lol I tried being nice to her, but unfortunately, she's one of those people who feels it's her business to say negative things no matter what. There are two problems with this. One problem, the main problem, is that she no longer works in that department, so it's none of her business anyway (and my manager luckily also holds this opinion). And secondly, of course things are going to be a mess on the days I'm not there because entropy (in the form of customers lol) will inevitably set in. And everything else she says is just blatantly wrong. So I've just been doing my job 110% as I always have been, and making sure to get the store manager to sign my documents every day, so I keep a record of everything I've been doing. smile How has everything been with you? Hope you find something fun to do today. grin
Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?

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