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#900803 - 07/12/13 10:44 PM Saturdiner
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 29945
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
Ok everybody it's a down & dirty rerun. I got off of work at 9:00, and have to be back at 5:00am. rolleyes

One of the check-out counters had a sign that said "eight items or less". So I changed my name to Les.
Author unknown
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wife: "What are you doing?"
Husband : Nothing.
Wife : "Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage
certificate for an hour."
Husband : "I was looking for the expiration date."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A woman didn't come home one night. The next morning she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it.
A man didn't come home 1 night. The next morning he told his wife that he had slept over at a friends house. The wife called her husband's 10 best friends. 8 of them confirmed that he had slept over and 2 said he was still there.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A man in a pub asks for a beer.
The barman says, "Sure, that'll be one quarter."
"One quarter?" exclaims the man. Reading the menu, he says, "Could I have steak and chips?"
"Certainly," says the barman, "that'll be one dollar."
"One dollar?" cries the man. "You're joking. Where's the guy who owns this place?"
The barman says, "Upstairs, with my wife"."
The man says, "What's he doing upstairs with your wife?"
The barman says, "The same thing I'm doing to his business."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A blond and her husband are lying in bed listening to the next door neighbor's dog. It has been in the backyard barking for hours and hours.
The blond jumps up out of bed and says, "I've had enough of this".
She goes downstairs.
The blond finally comes back up to bed and her husband says, "The dog is still barking,
What have you been doing?"
The blond says, "I put the dog in our backyard, let's see how THEY like it!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Three women are out clubbing and they spot a club that says, "Women Only."
Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in.
The first floor has a sign on the door that reads, "All men here are short and plain."
The women laugh and continue up to the second floor.
The sign reads, "All men here are tall and plain."
Still this isn't good enough, and the women proceed to the third floor.
"All men here are short and handsome."
The women still want more and go to the fourth floor, where the sign reads, "All men here are tall and handsome."
This is perfect and the women are preparing to go in, when they realize that there is still one more floor.
They go up one floor and read the sign. "There are no men here. This floor is built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A little boy was so exited because his mom told him he is getting a baby brother.
He repeated that to his teacher every day, when he came to school, "I'm getting a brother."
One day his mom allowed him to feel the baby's kicks in her belly.
The next day he came to school and didn't say anything to his teacher, so the teacher asked him, what happened to his brother.
He replied, "I think mommy ate him."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

John is paying a visit to his Italian neighbor in the hospital, who just had a very serious traffic accident. He doesn't look like very much: in plaster, completely wrapped in a bandage, tons of hoses and infusions. he looks like a mummy. John tries to have a conversation, but his neighbor has his eyes closed and isn't responding. Suddenly his eyes jump wide open and he starts to gurgle and during his last gasp for air he says:
"Mi stai bloccando il d'tubicino ossigeno, Pezzo di merda ...."
John inscribes the words in his heart.
At the funeral John tells the black-clad widow that her husband had something to say.
'And, she asks with tearful eyes,"was it that he loved me? "
"I do not know," said the man, "but it sounded like Mi stai bloccando il d'tubicino ossigeno, pezzo di merda ...."
The widow screams and faints.
"What?" John ask startled to the daughter, "what did he say, what does that mean?" And the crying daughter says:
"You are standing on my oxygen hose, you idiot."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie. welcome

You know, spell check does NOT like Italian for some reason.

Every one of those Italian words are misspelled.

So is "everyboomie." duh

I guess that's Italian too. Who knew?

MaMa Mia!! smirk

My days off are over, so I'm back on today.

Waa Hoo I go back on at 5:00am, so I'm up at 3:30am, so I'm down just as soon as I can get there. slapforehead

The BIG problem is that I can't get the sun to go down any sooner, and it's staying up later and later as we get into Summer.

He's a veritable night owl.

I am a night sparrow. snicker

Sorry about the cheep joke. blush

Have a happy day everyone.. thumbsup

joe


Edited by gymcandy1 (07/12/13 10:45 PM)
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

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#900808 - 07/12/13 11:12 PM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 64461
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
That's an early rise Joe, so sorry. I hope the customers are kind to you today and appreciate you as much as we do.

I will be up and out early too but not as early as you. Peter and I are going to do the Spartan 300 workout. It'll hurt but it's a good hurt. grin

Have a happy day everyone!

Ana wave
_________________________
How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

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#900814 - 07/12/13 11:27 PM Re: Saturdiner [Re: BrownEyedTigre]
Space Quest Fan Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/17/01
Posts: 9410
Loc: Columbus,Ohio USA
Have a great Saturday Joe. luck on the Spartan 300 Ana. thumbsup
_________________________
It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.

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#900830 - 07/13/13 02:19 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
Haroula Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 7485
Loc: Greece
Good morning Joe,Ana,SQF and all who follow later. wave happydance
_________________________

Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.



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#900837 - 07/13/13 04:44 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: Haroula]
cailyn Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 01/08/06
Posts: 6010
Loc: Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
Good morning Joe,Ana,Space,Haroula wave Wow I slept late again yayWishing you all a sunny day summer Coffee is ready!
_________________________
I may not have gone where I intended to go,but I think I have ended up where I need to be.

Sue

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#900841 - 07/13/13 06:08 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 16871
Loc: Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe, Ana, SpaceQ, Haroula and Sue. Hope everyone enjoys the day! wave
_________________________
Gerry

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#900842 - 07/13/13 06:34 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
Midge Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 04/30/00
Posts: 14569
Loc: Massachusetts
Good morning.Have a great day all. See you after work.

Midgie hearts
_________________________
Just do it.

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#900847 - 07/13/13 07:03 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
connie Online   content
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 07/12/02
Posts: 7982
Loc: winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful Saturday. Ana, hubby is feeling good. Danish, Omelets, Hash Browns, Toast, and Fresh Fruit in the NC. summer
_________________________
Connie

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#900848 - 07/13/13 07:35 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 64461
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Good morning Connie, Midgie, Gerry, Sue, Haroula and SpaceQ! Hi ho hi ho...it's time to see what I am made of!

Ana wave
_________________________
How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

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#900850 - 07/13/13 08:37 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: BrownEyedTigre]
Space Quest Fan Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/17/01
Posts: 9410
Loc: Columbus,Ohio USA
luck Ana. Have fun.
_________________________
It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.

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#900861 - 07/13/13 09:40 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
Haroula Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 7485
Loc: Greece
Ana bravo thumbsup
_________________________

Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.



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#900873 - 07/13/13 09:57 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
GBC Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/06/07
Posts: 14243
Loc: Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers

Morning Joe, Ana, Space, Haroula, Sue, Gerry, Midgie, Connie and everyone who comes in later.

A 300th Anniversary Celebration for two days in my town. Tons of activities . woot
_________________________
Gail

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#900894 - 07/13/13 11:41 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/10/06
Posts: 13523
Loc: northern Wisconsin
Joe this is it, the day you been waiting for, the day before your day off!! lol May time fly and those mowers sell.

Ana you are a "beast" lol Have loads of fun and be safe!!! Oh good luck to Peter also!!

Haroula have a lovely day!

Cailyn so glad you were able to sleep in this morning! Have a lovely day!

Gerry have a lovely day!

Midge have a lovely day and may work be fun!

Connie glad hubby is feeling good! Have a lovely day and thanks for the danish!

Space hope it is dry and you have a lovely weekend!

Gail sounds like a fun time in the town this weekend. Enjoy!! Have a lovely day!

No plans yet but it is hot, humid, and cloudy with a threat of Thunderboomers!!! Poor Sassy.

wave
Nan

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#900898 - 07/13/13 12:02 PM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 7078
Loc: San Diego, CA
Humid, muggy, you name it.

Tenants whose daughter from Seattle has been here since at least Thursday (probably longer since I wasn't watching), now have Son and kids from LA and maybe his new girlfriend too. At minimum that's 7 people staying in a small 2 bedroom house for several days.

I'm seriously considering an ultimatum about the sewer pump which, IF it fails while all this company is there, might just be THEIR responsibility to fix. Really thinking about this one. Every year, when they have a ton of company and lots of parties with relatives coming in from all over, that pump has problems. Costs me 600-800 or more each time. I guess I've had it after the baby wipes incident. Gonna be thinking of solutions that will work.

AND fun in the neighborhood: That neighbor across who I'm predicting is avoiding me because he thinks I called the police on his party with the firecrackers, is now confirmed on my suspicions. Friend and I were walking home from the daily walk, deliberately avoiding that side of the street, saw him working in the yard (as usual) right at the front fence. THEN he spotted US, and literally DOVE for the ground and hid behind a bird of paradise plant until we were 'safely' out of sight. I laughed so hard. This is getting to be very entertaining. Geez, grown man, hiding behind a plant? Funnnny!
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WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.

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#900909 - 07/13/13 12:38 PM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 42088
Loc: Alabama
Super Saturday ya'll puppy

Soot and I are back from our morning park run. It was sooooo humid out there, but thankfully we had clouds to cool it down a bit. We saw some of our "regulars" from our early morning walks.

Home to clean up and feed everyone. Now Soot is out erranding and I'm sitting and surfing before I go do some baking. I have bananas that need baking and need to make bread. I love summer cause bread rises so easily and so well. I'm going to make Pumpkin Yeast bread. I've never heard of it before so will try it out.

We watched the new Bruce Willis Die Hard movie last night. We concluded it was a good movie for $1.29 but were extremely glad we didn't catch it in the theater. That seems to be true for most movies for us these days.

Ana, you go! We all know you'll make us proud thumbsup

I'll be back when the bread is rising....wave
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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