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#902733 - 07/21/13 07:32 PM Moonday Morning
gymcandy1 Online   happy
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 30158
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
They say dreams are the windows of the soul--take a peek and you can see the inner workings, the nuts and bolts.
Henry Bromel, Northern Exposure, The Big Kiss, 1991
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


One day a college professor of Psychology was greeting his new college class.
He stood up in front of the class and said, "Would everyone who thinks he or she is stupid please stand up?"
After a minute or so of silence, a young man stood up.
"Well, hello there sir. So you actually think you're a moron?" the professor asked.
The kid replied, "No sir, I just didn't want to see you standing there all by yourself."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Peter decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. They loaded up Peter's station wagon and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. They pulled into a nearby farm house and asked the attractive lady of the house if they could spend the night.

"I'm recently widowed," she explained, "and I'm afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house."

"Not to worry," Peter said, "we'll be happy to sleep in the barn."

Nine months later, Peter got a letter from the widow's attorney. He then went up to visit his friend Bob and said, "Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow at the farm we stayed at?"

"Yes, I do."

"Did you happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and have sex with her?"

"Yes, I have to admit that I did."

"Did you happen to use my name instead of telling her your name?"

Bob's face turned red and he said, "Yeah, I'm afraid I did."

"Well, thanks! She just died and left me everything!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, nonstop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and therefore we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax - OH MY GOD!"

Silence followed and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier, but while I was talking, the flight-attendant brought me a cup of coffee and spilled the hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!"

A passenger in Coach said, "That's nothing. He should see the back of mine!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


A man flying in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. Reducing altitude, he spotted a man on the ground and descended to shouting range.

"Excuse me," he shouted. "Can you help me? I promised my friend I would meet him a half hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The man below responded: "Yes. You are in a hot air balloon, hovering approximately 30 feet above this field. You are between 40 and 42 degrees North Latitude, and between 58 and 60 degrees West Longitude."

"You must be an engineer," responded the balloonist.

"I am," the man replied. "How did you know?"

"Well," said the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost."

Whereupon the man on the ground responded, "You must be a manager."

"That I am" replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"

"Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are, or where you're going. You have made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. The fact is you are in the exact same position you were before we met, but now it is somehow my fault."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees.
"Yes, sir," the new recruit replied.
"Well, then, that makes everything just fine ... " the boss went on.
"After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother's funeral, she
stopped in to see you."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


There was an old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish confessing to adultery.
One Sunday, in the pulpit, he said, "If I hear one more person confess to adultery, I'll quit!"

Well, everyone liked him, so they came up with a code word. Someone who had committed adultery would say instead that they had 'fallen.'

This seemed to satisfy the old priest and things went well until the priest passed away at a ripe old age.

A few days after the new priest arrived, he visited the mayor of the town and seemed very concerned.

"Mayor, you have to do something about the sidewalks in town. When people come into the confessional, they keep telling me they've fallen."

The mayor started to laugh, realizing that no one had told the new priest about the code word. But, before he could explain, the priest shook an accusing finger at him and shouted, "I don't know what you're laughing about, because your wife has fallen three times this week!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie. welcome

It's a new month.... yay.....in only 11 more days.

I'll let you know when it gets closer. thumbsup

I'll even PM you if you want a personal reminder. yes

After all, these new months only come every 30 days or so.

They're kinda like solar eclipses. wink

It might even be a good idea to mark your calender. sherlock


think


It MAY already be marked though. It depends on where you bought your calender. You should check that first. wink

Have a happy day everyone.

joe




Edited by gymcandy1 (07/21/13 07:35 PM)
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

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#902735 - 07/21/13 07:37 PM Re: Moonday Morning [Re: gymcandy1]
Midge Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 04/30/00
Posts: 14746
Loc: Massachusetts
Hi Joe and all. I'm back from my trip with the Blisses to Connecticut. Great trip. A lot of work but I love them dearly. I hope you all are good. I'll just go back and read the posts that I missed. See you in the morning. I'm gonna have some BB pancakes when I come in. Mmmmm yum.

Midgie hearts
_________________________
Just do it.

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#902736 - 07/21/13 07:45 PM Re: Moonday Morning [Re: gymcandy1]
Space Quest Fan Online   content
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/17/01
Posts: 9724
Loc: Columbus,Ohio USA
Love the professor joke Joe. lol
_________________________
It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.

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#902765 - 07/21/13 10:45 PM Re: Moonday Morning [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 65794
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Good morning Joe, Midgie and SpaceQ.

Today is a corner day. Yesterdays run was awesome and Peter and I crushed it! I had one mishap but we'll see how that goes when I get up in the morning.

Have a happy day all!

Ana wave
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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#902780 - 07/22/13 02:40 AM Re: Moonday Morning [Re: gymcandy1]
Haroula Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 8112
Loc: Greece
Good morning Joe, Midgie, SpaceQ, Αnna and all who come in later. wave
Midgie I was wondering where you are.Glad you came home safe and sound smile
Ana I hope today you feeling better.Congrants happydance
SpaceQ smile wave
Have all a nice day. dance
_________________________
Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.



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#902791 - 07/22/13 05:08 AM Re: Moonday Morning [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 17626
Loc: Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe, Midgie, SpaceQ, Ana and Haroula. Hope you all have a great day! Coffee is ready Cailyn! wave
_________________________
Gerry

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#902803 - 07/22/13 06:08 AM Re: Moonday Morning [Re: gymcandy1]
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 03/07/09
Posts: 5682
Loc: Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Hello and goodbye. wave Have a great Monday, everyone. summer

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#902808 - 07/22/13 06:47 AM Re: Moonday Morning [Re: gymcandy1]
connie Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 07/12/02
Posts: 8202
Loc: winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. Ana, I hope your feeling better this morning. Congrats to you and Peter on the run. Evelyn, prayers for your mom. Midge, you were missed. Karen, it's good to have you back and doing better. To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful Monday. Danish, Cinnamon Buns, and Muffins, in the NC. summer
_________________________
Connie

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#902811 - 07/22/13 07:00 AM Re: Moonday Morning [Re: gymcandy1]
MsMercury Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 02/08/06
Posts: 11745
Loc: Scotland
Good morning Joe and all!

Hope you are all keeping well! I'm stuck in the kitchen for most of this week but at least the temps are down a good bit! Forecast heavy rain and thunderstorms...rain I don't mind but thunderstorms freak me out! scared Holly and I will be under the bed! lol

Have a great day guys!

Mary hearts
_________________________
"It's not what you have in your life
but who you have in your life that counts." puppy

I'm not getting old....just 'Marvelously Mature'! grin

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#902819 - 07/22/13 07:13 AM Re: Moonday Morning [Re: gymcandy1]
GBC Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/06/07
Posts: 14786
Loc: Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers

Joe, actually the months are going by too quickly for me to keep up with.

Ana, glad you had fun yesterday. Enjoy the corner today. Snacks on the way.

Midgie, have a great day! Missed you!

Space, what have you been up to?

Haroula, good morning.

Venus, have a great workday.

Connie, thanks for the Danish.

Gerry, coffee please and thank you.

Sue, good morning when you get here.

Mary, stay safe in the storms.

Happy Monday to All! summer



Edited by GBC (07/22/13 07:13 AM)
_________________________
Gail

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#902862 - 07/22/13 09:54 AM Re: Moonday Morning [Re: GBC]
Darlene Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/10/00
Posts: 9481
Loc: Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Happy Moonday Morning! smile

Welcome home, Midgie! smile

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!
_________________________
You become what you think about. Change your thoughts, change your life. - Dko

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#902884 - 07/22/13 11:00 AM Re: Moonday Morning [Re: Darlene]
Gimli Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 06/15/05
Posts: 2314
Loc: Switzerland
Good morning Boomies wave

Thank you all very much for your prayers and good vibes for my Mum. Doc said she should have surgery because a splinter went awol, but Mum won't hear of surgery. She sticks to the plaster grin. In a weeks time she has to do anther X-ray and if the splinter gives her a bad time healing the arm, there has to be surgery... Poor girl. Hubby and I can drive back to Switzerland only Thursday because of appointments and also heavy (vacation)traffic on the streets.

Ana: ouch! Is it still hurting you today? Not a nice place to hurt whistle Take care!

Midge: welcome back!

Looney: thank you for the infos. Where can I get "Salt and Bromelain"? As a potion in pharmacy or do I have to mix it myself? And do I have to drink the stuff ( sick) or only apply it to the sting?

Hi Karen, good to see you here!

I wish you all a wonderful Monday. Try to come again today. Hugs

Evelyne
_________________________
"You ask me what life is. That's like asking me what a carrot is. A carrot is a carrot is a carrot" (A. Chekhov)

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#902892 - 07/22/13 11:17 AM Re: Moonday Morning [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 65794
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Evelyne, so sorry to hear about your mom. hearts
This here is the tenderizer I use. You make a paste and put it on the bite and it pulls out the venom and stinger and will get the swelling down quickly.


Midgie, I remember you saying you were leaving so that's why I did not ask where you were. kissy

Haroula, have a great day! Thanks for the Congrats!

Gerry and Venus, have a happy day!

Connie, what is on the agenda today? Thanks!

Mary, I am cracking up envisioning you under the bed with Holly. Maybe we could design a people Thundershirt!

Gail, what's on tap today? Thanks for the snacks.

Darlene, safe skooshing. Hope you enjoyed your weekend.
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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#902903 - 07/22/13 11:47 AM Re: Moonday Morning [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 42646
Loc: Alabama
Magnificent Monday Morning ya'll

Son is still in lots of pain. He's downstairs with the boys. I'm in the kitchen with Keoki, but I'll be going down once I feed the dogs as I must must must cook the books.

Keoki is being very sweet.

Ana I hope your back heals quickly.

Back later. wave
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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#902907 - 07/22/13 11:52 AM Re: Moonday Morning [Re: gymcandy1]
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/10/06
Posts: 13808
Loc: northern Wisconsin
lol Joe! Time sure does fly when you're having fun! Thanks for the laughs and I hope that work goes well. HUGS!

Ana hope that your injured bodypart is feeling better this morning. May the corner be kind and move right along!

Space have a lovely day!

Midge I am glad that you had a lovely weekend in Conn!!

Haroula have a lovely day!

Gerry thanks for the coffee. Have a lovely day!

venus Happy Working and may all go well.

Mary glad it has cooled some if ya have all that baking to do. Do you have a remote for the oven???? I mean if you are under the bed with the dog you might need one. lol JK!! Have a lovely day and Happy Baking.

Connie have fun what ever pops up today!! Thanks for the danish!

Evelyne prayers that the missing splinter causes no problems at all and that mum's arm heals well without surgery!! HUGS!! Sending the Band to be with you for safe travel when you head out.

Gail have a lovely day! Has it cooled down there some? We were at 54 this morning but it is about 74 now. Have a nice walk with the pups!

Darlene may time fly and everything go smoothly at work today! Have a lovely day!

No plans here yet except I might head out to BINGO this evening.

wave
Nan

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