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#903306 - 07/23/13 11:17 PM Hump Day
gymcandy1 Online   happy
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 30025
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
Herm Albright (1876 - 1944)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two hunters were off on their annual trip to the Canadian wilderness to bag a moose. As the seaplane landed on a lake in a remote area, the pilot said, "I'll be back in one week to pick you up. But only one moose, please."

When he returned to the lake, he found the hunters proudly standing beside two moose.

"I told you guys only one moose!" the furious flier screamed. "There's no way the plane can take off with that much weight!"

"You're just a chicken pilot," one hunter said. "We killed two moose last year and that pilot wasn't afraid to take off."

Stung by the suggestion of cowardice, he reconsidered. "All right, if you did it last year, I guess we can try it."

They loaded up and the pilot taxied to the far end of the lake to begin his take-off. The plane bounced across the water as it strained to get airborne, but the overloaded aircraft finally ran out of space and crashed into the trees. Some time later, the hunters regained consciousness.

"Where are we?" one asked.

His friend looked around at the scattered debris, then back at the edge of the lake and replied, "Oh, I guess about a hundred yards farther than last year."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


A woman went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large beautiful parrot. There was a sign on the cage that said ??50.00. "Why so little," she asked the pet store owner.
The owner looked at her and said, "Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a house of prostitution, and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff."

The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird anyway. She took it home and hung the bird's cage up in her living room and waited for it to say something.
The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said, "New house, new madam."
The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought "that's not so bad."

When her two teenage daughters returned from school the bird saw them and said, "New house, new madam, new girls." The girls and the woman were a bit offended but then began to laugh about the situation. Moments later, the woman's husband Alex, came home from work.

The bird looked at him and said, "Hi Alex".
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

An FBI agent is interviewing a bank teller after the same bandit had robbed the bank 3 times successively.

"Did you notice anything special about the man? I mean, did he ever change his appearance?" asks the agent.

"Yes," replies the teller. "He was better dressed each time."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


A customer at Green's Gourmet Grocery marveled at the proprietor's quick wit and intelligence.

"Tell me, Green, what makes you so smart?"

"I wouldn't share my secret with just anyone," Green replies, lowering his voice so the other shoppers won't hear. "But since you're a good and faithful customer, I'll let you in on it. Fish heads. You eat enough of them, you'll be positively brilliant."

"You sell them here?" the customer asks.

"Only $4 apiece," says Green.

The customer buys three. A week later, he's back in the store complaining that the fish heads were disgusting and he isn't any smarter.

"You didn't eat enough, " says Green. The customer goes home with 20 more fish heads. Two weeks later, he's back and this time he's really angry.

"Hey, Green," he says, "You're selling me fish heads for $4 apiece when I can buy the whole fish for $2. You're ripping me off!"

"You see?" says Green. "You're getting smarter already!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie. welcome

Mmmmm those fish heads were malishious. yes

I'm not having them for breakfast though. shame

They don't compliment waffles and syrup. duh

They insult them. snicker

I only eat fish with a lot of water.

They don't flop around in my stomach that way. razz

Hmmmmm something smells fishy. slapforehead

Have a happy day everyone.

joe
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

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#903308 - 07/23/13 11:36 PM Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 64927
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Fish heads, fish heads...roly poly fish heads. lol One of the first songs I taught Peter when he was little. rotfl

Have a happy day all!

Ana wave
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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#903314 - 07/24/13 12:10 AM Re: Hump Day [Re: BrownEyedTigre]
Darlene Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/10/00
Posts: 9365
Loc: Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Fish heads, eh? lol Have a happy Hump Day!

Hey, Ana! You and Joe brought back some memories for me...

They can't play baseball, They don't wear sweaters, They're not good dancers, They don't play drums .....ah, Dr. Dimento. smile

Still Tuesday evening for me...

So.

To all abed, sleep To all awake, woot
_________________________
You become what you think about. Change your thoughts, change your life. - Dko

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#903319 - 07/24/13 03:01 AM Re: Hump Day [Re: Darlene]
Gimli Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 06/15/05
Posts: 2314
Loc: Switzerland
Good morning Joe, Ana, Darlene and everybody coming in after me (I mean after me, not after me grin)

Toothache is gone and no dentist needed. I'am just still severly limited with eating. Nut shell was hiding in a healthy (ha!) piece of fruitbread. Ah well, lesson learned.

Today I have to drive to Genoa for 2 appointments with Galleries. Tomorrow we will start our drive back to Switzerland via France and I think we will stay over night in the French Alps. Traffic all around here is heavy. Our normal way back is blocked by 4 traffic jams of 9 miles each. You know, first one has to drive over the apennin mountains, then the long way through the Po Valley, and, once through customs Italy/Switzerland at Chiasso, there comes the Swiss Alps to cross over. So this time we say NO to traffic jam and take a detour via France.

Soot: please take care on the streets. Nan will send you the Band to look over you. Have a good time with Mum!

Looney: you are not alone. Come here and we help you survive the time without Soot in the house.

Have to run. Will come back later this day. Enjoy breakfast my friends!

Love
Evelyne
_________________________
"You ask me what life is. That's like asking me what a carrot is. A carrot is a carrot is a carrot" (A. Chekhov)

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#903322 - 07/24/13 03:52 AM Re: Hump Day [Re: Gimli]
cailyn Online   sad
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 01/08/06
Posts: 6044
Loc: Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
Good morning Joe,Ana,Darlene,Gimli waveWishing you all a happy day! Coffee is ready puppy
_________________________
I may not have gone where I intended to go,but I think I have ended up where I need to be.

Sue

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#903325 - 07/24/13 04:17 AM Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
Haroula Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 7664
Loc: Greece
Good morning Joe,Ana,Darlene,Gimli,Sue and all. wave
Have a nice day. dance
_________________________

Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.



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#903331 - 07/24/13 06:45 AM Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
connie Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 07/12/02
Posts: 8070
Loc: winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. Bank, BJ's, and lunch out today. To all here and all who follow, have a Super Hump day. Danish, Banana Pancakes, and Eggs, in the NC. summer
_________________________
Connie

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#903337 - 07/24/13 07:08 AM Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
GBC Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/06/07
Posts: 14429
Loc: Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers

Joe, I'll be thinking of fish heads all day now.

Ana, your song didn't help.

Darlene, see you in the morning.

Evelyne, you lead an exciting life.

Sue, I'm ready for that coffee.

Haroula, good day to you.

Connie, in need of Danish this morning.

Gerry, good day when you arrive.

Wishing everyone a wonderful Hump Day!
_________________________
Gail

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#903357 - 07/24/13 09:01 AM Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
Lotus777 Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 03/12/06
Posts: 3270
Loc: Oregon
Just a fast dash by. It is not six AM here yet, ugh and we are preparing to take my Mum to have that awful tooth extracted. She will stay with me for a day or two depending on how she feels. I am more nervous than she is. Thank you for asking Ana. I will let you know how it goes when I can. Hope everyone has a great day. Safe travels to you Evelyne. You too Nan. Happy Gaming everyone!! wave
_________________________
Lotus
Life is like a hot bath. It feels good while you’re in it, but the longer you stay in, the more wrinkled you get.

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#903393 - 07/24/13 11:04 AM Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 03/07/09
Posts: 5417
Loc: Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Joe, fish heads with breakfast does sound less than appealing. lol

Ana, I remember that song. lol

Hope you slept well, Darlene.

Gimli, have fun on your trip. Sounds fantastic. thumbsup

Have a nice day, too, Cailyn.

Have a happy day also, Haroula.

Have fun at BJ's and lunch today, Connie.

Hope you have a great day, Gail.

Hope your mom's appointment goes well, Lotus! luck

Well, I'm off today. I was going to enjoy my day off with that new game, The Raven, but sadly, all I got was a JPEG image instead of a download of the actual game. steamed I tried writing to the company, but I've gotten no response so far except for an automated one that tells me where my download is located. Thanks, that really helped. rolleyes So I may have to request a return, which I don't want to do, but I didn't spend $20 for a JPEG image.

Sadly, this was the game I was most looking forward to, but at least I still have Face Noir and Jack Keane 2 in the meantime. yes

Hope everyone here is having a great Wednesday. summer

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#903396 - 07/24/13 11:20 AM Re: Hump Day [Re: venus]
gymcandy1 Online   happy
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 30025
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
Good morning Boomers. wave

RAIN, WE HAVE RAIN! broccoli

Baby started jumping all over me at 5:00 this morning and I had to get up and let her out of the room. I didn't think we had that much rain, but when I checked the gauge it was 2 3/4' shocked yay

I could only get on line for a few minutes before we lost our internet again. We're still in the center of a rain system. I hope it rains all day. The temperature is cooling way down as well. penguin

I'm going to post this before I lose my internet again.

I installed Bioshock on my computer and I'm going to visit it again here in a few minutes. woot

Have a super day everyone. happydance

joe
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

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#903401 - 07/24/13 11:30 AM Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/10/06
Posts: 13641
Loc: northern Wisconsin
Joe enjoy your time away from work and maybe you should go fishing???? lol Thanks for the laughs!!

Ana hope the project is moving right along nicely for you! Have a nice run with the dogs!

Darlene may work fly today and everything go smoothly!! have a lovely day!

Evelyne good luck with the two appointments! Prayers for the Band around you and hubby as you travel the detour route!! Glad that your tooth is now feeling better!!

Cailyn thanks for the coffee. Have a lovely day!

Haroula have a lovely day!

Connie have fun shopping and enjoy lunch!! Thanks for the danish!! Have a lovely day!

Gail hope some cool temps has made it's way there. Have a lovely day!

venus enjoy your time away from work today!! Hope you may get the game situation straightened out and then are able to play the game!! Have a lovely day!

Lotus sending prayers for your mom. May everything go well and the recovery be speedy!! HUGS!!!

No plans till taxi time.

wave
Nan

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#903402 - 07/24/13 11:32 AM Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 03/07/09
Posts: 5417
Loc: Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Congratulations on the rain, Joe. happydance

Thanks, Nan. Have fun with your no plan time. wave

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#903407 - 07/24/13 11:45 AM Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
True Blue Boomer

Registered: 04/16/05
Posts: 21212
Loc: Usually up an Alabama Tree
Yum Joe, smoked salmon, just love it!! ..and I can leave the fish heads to you rotfl

It's good to get rain!!!

HappyWoderfulWednesdayDay to each and every one of you.

I'm off to garden, listen to my whale music and enjoy life wink

hearts L4L

wave




_________________________
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games

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#903442 - 07/24/13 01:40 PM Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
flutist Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/17/01
Posts: 11402
Loc: Kirkwood, MO USA
Good afternoon all.

Hey Joe, send some of that rain up to St. Louis. We could use it.

How is everyone doing today? I have not been doing too much and might play something soon.

Have a great day.

Bets
_________________________
Corgis fill your life with Joy, your heart with Love, and your soul with Sunshine.

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