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#903561 - 07/24/13 11:31 PM Thump Day
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 29796
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who overcomes his enemies.
Aristotle (384 BC - 322 BC), In Stobaeus, Florilegium
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again. The boy asked his father, "What is this, Father?" The father [never having seen an elevator] responded "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is."

While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed, an old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of lights with numbers above the walls light up. They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction.

The walls opened up again and a beautiful 24-year-old woman stepped out. The father says, "Go get your mother son and hurry!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


A woman from New York was getting her affairs in order. She prepared her will and made her final arraignments.

As part of these arraignments she met with her rabbi to talk about what type of funeral service she wanted, etc.

She told her rabbi she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Bloomindales.

"Bloomindales!" the rabbi said. "Why Bloomindales?"

"That way, I know my daughters will visit me twice a week."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Three students, a student from Tennessee, a student from Alabama, and a student from Auburn are out walking together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it.

"I will give you each one wish, that's three wishes total," says the Genie.

The Tennessee student says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Tennessee."

With a blink of the Genie's eye, "FOOM," the land in Tennessee was forever made fertile for farming.

The Auburn student was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around the University of Auburn, so that nobody from out of state can come into our precious school."

Again, with the blink of the Genie's eye,"POOF," there was a huge wall around Auburn.

The Alabama student says, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall."

The Genie explains, "Well, it is about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick and completely surrounds the University of Auburn. Nothing can get in or out."

The Alabama student says, "Fill it with water."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A man goes to a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says "You can't bring that dog in here!" The guy, without missing a beat, says "This is my seeing-eye dog." "Oh man, " the bartender says, "I'm sorry, here, the first one's on me." The man takes his drink and goes to a table near the door.

Another guy walks in the bar with a Chihuahua. The first guys sees him, stops him and says "You can't bring that dog in here unless you tell him it's a seeing-eye dog." The second man graciously thanks the first man and continues to the bar. He asks for a drink. The bartender says "Hey, you can't bring that dog in here!"

The second man replies "This is my seeing-eye dog." The bartender says, "No, I don't think so. They do not have Chihauhuas as seeing-eye dogs." The man pauses for a half-second and replies "What?!?! They gave me a Chihuahua?!?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A man who absolutely hated his wife's cat decided to get rid of him one day by driving him 20 blocks from his home and leaving him at the park.

As he was nearing home, the cat was walking up the driveway.

The next day, he decided to drive the cat 40 blocks away and try the same thing.

As he was driving back into his driveway, there was the cat! He kept taking the cat farther and farther away, but the darn cat would always beat him home.

At last, he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again and another right and so on until he reached what he thought was a safe distance from his home and he left the cat there.

Hours later, the man calls home to his wife: "Jen, is the cat there?". "Yes," the wife answers. "Why do you ask?"

Frustrated, the man answers: "Put him on the phone. I'm lost and I need directions!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


It was the kindergarten teachers birthday and the students decided that they would each buy their teacher a gift.
The first student, whose parents own a florist shop, gave her a present. She held it and said "I guess that it is flowers". "How did you guess?" asked the little boy. She laughed and thanked him.

The second student, whose parents own a candy store, gave her a present. She held it and said, "I guess that is some candy."

"How did you guess?" asked the little boy. She again laughed and thanked him also.

The third student, whose parents own a bottle shop, gave her a box which was leaking. The teacher touched the liquid with her finger and tasted it. "Mmmmm is it wine?" she asked.

"No," said the little girl.

So she tasted it again. "Is it champagne?" she asked.

"Noooo," replied the little girl, "It's a puppy."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. Getting back together, they discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly Mother.

The first said, "I built a big house for our Mother." The second said, "I sent her a Mercedes with a driver." The third smiled and said, "I've got you both beat. You remember how Mom enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know she can't see very well any more. I sent her a remarkable parrot that recites the entire Bible. It took Elders in the church 12 years to teach him. He's one of a kind. Mama just has to name the chapter and verse, and the parrot recites it."

Soon thereafter, Mom sent out her letters of thanks: "Milton," she wrote one son, "the house you built is so huge. I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house."

"Gerald," she wrote to another, "I am too old to travel any more. My eyesight isn't what it used to be. I stay most of the time at home, so I rarely use the Mercedes. And the driver is so rude!"

"Dearest Donald," she wrote to her third son, "you have the good sense to know what your Mother likes. The chicken was a bit skinny, but was delicious all the same!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie. welcome

What comes after Wednesday?

My other day off of course. woot

I feel just like a kid waiting for Santa to get here. happydance

Not really. rotfl

Not because of my day off anyway.

My little brother has found two arrowheads up in the Texas Panhandle, and he's going to send them to me, so I'm a little excited about that though. yes

He told me about one he'd found when he was here last week, and then yesterday he found another one. yay

I guess it runs in the family. wink

Funny, I've never been that excited about running before. rolleyes


Have a happy day everyone.

joe




Edited by gymcandy1 (07/24/13 11:34 PM)
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

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#903567 - 07/24/13 11:52 PM Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
Drmojo Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 12/04/04
Posts: 1743
Loc: Washington In the Wet corner
Hey ya Boom Boom Buddies~

Hi Joe! that is great about the arrowheads and rain dance if i ever find any i'll send
them to ya~

Hi Ana how ya doing? you going to be
racing with Peter again? smile


Hey ya L4L how are you and soot?
how's your doggies? puppy
I have not named my scooter yet, can ya
help me think of a neame?

Hi Midge how are you doing?

Hi Trippy how are you and your dogs?
it must have been one of those things
cause I thought about you too cool

Hi to all other Boomers who come in wave

Karen summer

Hi Nan how is Miss Sassy? Bella is fine
she's ripping around the house now snicker
_________________________
OSO live
OSO Love
++OSO Strong++



Peace be with you~

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#903581 - 07/25/13 02:33 AM Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
Haroula Online   happy
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 6946
Loc: Greece
Good morning,hve all a great day. happydance wave
_________________________
As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.





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#903588 - 07/25/13 05:06 AM Re: Thump Day [Re: Haroula]
cailyn Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 01/08/06
Posts: 5956
Loc: Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
Good morning Joe,Karen,Haroula,and all boomers waveI'm rushing off to the gym but the coffee is on!Wishing you all a happy day!It's a cool 50 degrees here now,it's a nice change puppy
_________________________
I may not have gone where I intended to go,but I think I have ended up where I need to be.

Sue

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#903589 - 07/25/13 05:21 AM Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 16342
Loc: Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe, Karen, Haroula and Cailyn. Joe enjoy your day off. Hope you find some arrow heads too. Karen so nice to see you back in the Diner. How are you doing? Haroula enjoy your day. Cailyn thanks for the coffee. It's also feeling cooler here yhis morning. Happy Day wished for All! wave
_________________________
Gerry

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#903598 - 07/25/13 06:09 AM Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 03/07/09
Posts: 5226
Loc: Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Hello and goodbye. wave

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#903599 - 07/25/13 06:13 AM Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 16342
Loc: Marlborough USA
A Good Morning to you venus! Enjoy your day! cat
_________________________
Gerry

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#903602 - 07/25/13 06:26 AM Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
connie Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 07/12/02
Posts: 7820
Loc: winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. Not sure what's on the agenda for today yet. To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful Thursday. Danish, Fresh Fruit, and Bacon Sandwiches in the NC. summer
_________________________
Connie

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#903637 - 07/25/13 09:36 AM Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
manxman Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/23/02
Posts: 13963
Loc: Unionville
Good morning boomers. wave Hope everyone has a terrific thursday smile
_________________________
Sometimes lost is where you need to be. Just because you don't know your direction doesn't mean you don't have one.

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#903642 - 07/25/13 09:52 AM Re: Thump Day [Re: manxman]
Darlene Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/10/00
Posts: 9160
Loc: Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Enjoy your day off and congrats on the arrowheads!

Hey, Ana! See you when you come in!

Hey, Midgie! hearts

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!
_________________________
You become what you think about. Change your thoughts, change your life. - Dko

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#903643 - 07/25/13 09:59 AM Re: Thump Day [Re: Darlene]
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 29796
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
Good morning everybody. wave

I've had my breakfast, and my coffee, and now...... duh

It's going to be abundantly sunny, and abundantly uncool today, so I know I won't be doing much outside.

I need to get out and walk Baby while it's cool-er, and maybe go to WallyWorld. yes

Whatever you have planned today, I hope it's a great day for you. rah

joe
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

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#903644 - 07/25/13 10:08 AM Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 63429
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Good morning boomies! Where's Gail this morning? Hope all is well.

manxman, connie, Gerry, Venus, Sue and Haroula have a happy day!

Joe, that is too cool your brother found some points too! I thought when our river finally came down after over a month of being high it would wash up some more but I only found parts. One day I'll find a perfect one.

Doc, I will absolutely run with Peter again. I already preregistered for next year. First I need to heal my back from this one. lol
LadyGaga named her wheelchair Emma. grin

I will be in the corner all day and at some point do a quick grocery run and mow the lawn.

EDIT - I type too slow. rotfl Hi Darlene! Safe Skooshing! Joe, it's too cool here, blow me some heat and I'll send you cool! It feels like fall already.

Ana wave




Edited by BrownEyedTigre (07/25/13 10:10 AM)
Edit Reason: missed Darlene
_________________________
How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

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#903649 - 07/25/13 10:22 AM Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/10/06
Posts: 13292
Loc: northern Wisconsin
Just a quick stop as I have an appointment in just a little bit but wanted to wish everybody a lovely day!!

Thanks for the laughs Joe and enjoy your day off.

Ana hope the corner project moves right along and your back is feeling better.

Karen Sassy is doing fine. Glad Bella can run about. lol

wave Haroula, Cailyn, Gerry, Darlene, Connie, venus, manxman have a lovely day!!

wave
Nan

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#903655 - 07/25/13 10:58 AM Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 41518
Loc: Alabama
Thumping Good Thursday guys puppy

I'm impressed. Son, who is Not a morning person, had himself and the boys up and in the van by 8:45. The crew is on the road to Nebraska. They will spend the night on the road and get there tomorrow dinner timish.I'll be taking care of Keoki, working on the books now that it will be quiet, cleaning, and doing more kitchen reorganizing. wave

Edit:Too funny...the gang just left...again....they left something and came back for it and a smoothie.


Edited by looney4labs (07/25/13 11:59 AM)
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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#903666 - 07/25/13 12:02 PM Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
GBC Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/06/07
Posts: 13782
Loc: Massachusetts
Good Afternoon Boomers

Been so busy this morning I forgot to post. Time sure does fly by. Morning is gone already.

Wishing everyone a wonderful Thump Day! flowers
_________________________
Gail

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