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Saturdiner #903948
07/26/13 07:50 PM
07/26/13 07:50 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
There is a harmony
In autumn, and a lustre in its sky,
Which through the summer is not heard or seen,
As if it could not be, as if it had not been!
Percy Bysshe Shelley (1792 - 1822)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The 75-year-old groom, with the young wife, caused a lot of
attention as he checked into the resort hotel.

The following morning, the old boy came strutting into the dining
room, lookin' great with a big smile on his face. He proceeded to
order an enormous breakfast.

He laughed and joked and was in obvious good spirits, whereas his
young wife, who came into the room a half hour later, looked worn
out. She ordered coffee in a voice so weak the waiter had to ask
her to repeat the order.

The old man finished his breakfast, excused himself and left for
their room. This gave the waitress a chance to ask the bride,
"Honey, I can't figure it out. The old geezer, your husband, looks
like a million and you look like two cents. What's wrong?"

"That guy double-crossed me," the bride said. "He told me he'd
saved up for fifty years! And all the time I thought he was
talking about money!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


An American tourist visited a small town in Spain.

The residents had never seen an American before, so he was treated as an honoured guest at the hotel.

Dinning for the first night, he asked the waiter what he recommended for dinner.

He suggested the "cojones".

The tourist asked what they were and the waiter replied, "Those are the testicles of the bull killed in the ring today."

He was shocked but agreed to try them after being assured it was a delicacy reserved only for special guests.

The tourist found them to be very tasty.

The next night he again ordered them for dinner.

The waiter complied but somewhat reluctantly.

The tourist again found them to be very tasty but asked the waiter why they were so much smaller than before.

The waiter said, "You see, Senor, sometimes it is the bull that wins!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Boss, I've got to have a raise," the salesman said to his sales manager. "There are three other companies after me."
"Is that a fact?" the manager asked. "What other companies are after you?"
"The electric company, the phone company, and the gas company."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Before going to Europe on business, a man drove his Rolls-Royce to a downtown New York City bank and went in to ask for an immediate loan of $5,000.

The loan officer, taken aback, requested collateral and so the man said, "Well then, here are the keys to my Rolls-Royce."

The loan officer promptly had the car driven into the bank's underground parking for safe keeping, and gave him $5,000.

Two weeks later, the man walked through the bank's doors, and asked to settle up his loan and get his car back. "That will be $5,000 in principal, and $15.40 in interest", the loan officer said. The man wrote out a check and started to walk away.

"Wait sir", the loan officer said, "while you were gone, I found out you are a millionaire. Why in the world would you need to borrow $5,000?"

The man smiled. "Where else could I park my Rolls-Royce in Manhattan for two weeks and pay only $15.40?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A man was driving down the road with twenty penguins in the back seat. The police stop him and say that he can't drive around with the penguins in the car and should take them to the zoo. The man agrees and drives off. The next day the same man is driving down the road with twenty penguins in the back and again. He is stopped by the same police officer who says, "Hey! I though I told you to take those to the zoo." The man replies "I did. Today I'm taking them to the movies."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


It seems a young farm boy accidentally overturned his wagon load of corn. The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise. "Hey Willis!!" the farmer yelled. "Forget your troubles. Come in and eat dinner with us. Then I'll help you get the wagon back up." "That's mighty nice of you," Willis answered, "but I don't think Pa would like me to."

"Nonsense, come on!" the farmer insisted. "Well, okay," the boy finally agreed, "but Pa won't like it."

After a hearty dinner, Willis thanked his host. "I feel a lot better now, but I know Pa is going to be real upset."

"Don't be foolish!" the neighbor said with a smile. "Why do you think your Pa would be upset with you?"

"Cause he's out there under the wagon."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There were two evil brothers. They were rich, and used their money to keep their ways from the public eye. They even attended the same church, and looked to be perfect Christians.

Then, their pastor retired, and a new one was hired. Not only could he see right through the brothers' deception, but he also spoke well and true, and the church started to swell in numbers. A fund-raising campaign was started to build a new assembly.

All of a sudden, one of the brothers died. The remaining brother sought out the new pastor the day before the funeral and handed him a check for the amount needed to finish paying for the new building.

"I have only one condition," he said. "At his funeral, you must say my brother was a saint." The pastor gave his word, and deposited the check.

The next day, at the funeral, the pastor did not hold back. "He was an evil man," he said. "He cheated on his wife and abused his family." After going on in this vein for a small time, he concluded with,

"But, compared to his brother, he was a saint."
~~~~~~~~~~~~

One Sunday morning George burst into the living room and said, "Dad! Mom! I have some great news for you! I am getting married to the most beautiful girl in town. She lives a block away and her name is Susan. After dinner, George's dad took him aside, "Son, I have to talk with you. Look at your mother, George. She and I have been married 30 years, she's a wonderful wife and mother, but, she has never offered much excitement in the bedroom, so I used to fool around with women a lot."

"Susan is actually your half sister, and I'm afraid you can't marry her." George was brokenhearted.

After eight months he eventually started dating girls again. A year later he came home and very proudly announced, "Diane said yes! We're getting married in June." Again his father insisted on another private conversation and broke the sad news. "Diane is your half sister too, George."

"I'm awfully sorry about this." George was livid! He finally decided to go to his mother with the news his father had shared.

"Dad has done so much harm. I guess I'm never going to get married," he complained. "Every time I fall in love, Dad tells me the girl is my half sister."

"Oh now don't you pay any attention to what he says son. He's not really your father."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie. welcome

Let's see this is either Tuesday, or Thursday for me. think

I'm so confused. headscratch

That's ok though. You guys go ahead and enjoy your Saturday. yes

I'm going to get up at 4:30, I get to sleep late, and go in to work, and get off at 3:00. thumbsup

I hope when I dream tonight, I dream that I'm sleeping. lol

While I'm hoping I may as well hope you all have a happy day. woot

Heck I may as well hope you all get rich today too. penguin

When you get rich do you think you could spot me a couple of hundred?

Have a happy one everyone.

joe


Last edited by gymcandy1; 07/26/13 07:51 PM.

There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #903950
07/26/13 08:10 PM
07/26/13 08:10 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,267
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,267
In the Naughty Corner
Joe, define rich? grin I may not be rolling in money but I am rich. hearts

I hope your work day passes quickly and your playtime is fun!

I'll be in the corner...again. lol

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #903956
07/26/13 09:06 PM
07/26/13 09:06 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Thanks for the jokes Joe. thumbsup


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #903958
07/26/13 09:16 PM
07/26/13 09:16 PM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 29,022
Unionville
manxman Offline
Sonic Boomer
manxman  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 29,022
Unionville
Great jokes Joe rotfl Hope everyone has a super saturday smile


Sometimes lost is where you need to be. Just because you don't know your direction doesn't mean you don't have one.
Re: Saturdiner [Re: manxman] #903988
07/27/13 12:50 AM
07/27/13 12:50 AM
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,226
Washington In the Wet corner
Drmojo Offline
Addicted Boomer
Drmojo  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,226
Washington In the Wet corner
Hey ya Boom Boom Buddies

greattt jokes Joe! sure have missed
them! Good day to you~ may your feet
not get sore wink

Hi Ana Have a good day wave

Hi ya space quest! how are you doing?
how is your dogs? are you having
hot weather? flowers

Hi maxman How are you doing? smile

Have a super Saturday everyone
I'm going to the tack sale at the barn
with Bella puppy Karen

Last edited by Drmojo; 07/27/13 12:56 AM.

"Horses are smart"

"You never heard of a Horse going broke"
betting on Humans~ Will Rogers~
Re: Saturdiner [Re: Drmojo] #904003
07/27/13 04:39 AM
07/27/13 04:39 AM
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 6,145
Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
cailyn Offline
BAAG Specialist
cailyn  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 6,145
Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
Good morning boomers wave The coffee is ready,wishing you all a sunny day summer


I may not have gone where I intended to go,but I think I have ended up where I need to be.

Sue
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #904005
07/27/13 04:48 AM
07/27/13 04:48 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,108
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Online happy
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Online Happy
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,108
Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe, Ana, SpaceQ, manxman, Karen and Cailyn. Hope you all have a nice day! wave


Gerry
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #904012
07/27/13 06:19 AM
07/27/13 06:19 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers

Joe, thanks for the laughs. Enjoy your day!

Ana, sending snacks over to the the corner.

Space, good morning!

Manxman, have a great day!

Karen, enjoy the barn today. I know Bella will.

Sue, coffee pleeeese!

Gerry, enjoy whatever plans you have for the day.

We're off to the beach for the day. woot


Gail
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #904016
07/27/13 07:17 AM
07/27/13 07:17 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,019
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,019
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful Saturday. Danish, Eggs, Bacon, Sausage, Hash Browns, English Muffins, and Pancakes in the NC. summer


Connie
Re: Saturdiner [Re: connie] #904019
07/27/13 08:01 AM
07/27/13 08:01 AM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
It is raining here this morning but at least things have cooled off. smile


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #904047
07/27/13 09:57 AM
07/27/13 09:57 AM
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 12,378
Scotland
MsMercury Offline
Adept Boomer
MsMercury  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 12,378
Scotland
Hiya Boomers! Hope everything's good with you all!

Hit the ground running this morning...prepping for Kieran's party tonight! Got five minutes or so before we're off again to set up the hall.

Have a great day guys!

Mary hearts


"It's not what you have in your life
but who you have in your life that counts." puppy

I'm not getting old....just 'Marvelously Mature'! grin
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #904062
07/27/13 10:26 AM
07/27/13 10:26 AM
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Midge Offline
Graduate Boomer
Midge  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Hi all. I hope you have a great Saturday. I have to be at work for 5:00 this afternoon.Much to do until then. Bye wave

Midgie hearts


Just do it.
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #904064
07/27/13 10:34 AM
07/27/13 10:34 AM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Super Saturday ya'll

I'm hanging in the kitchen with my Kman. Think I'll do some baking today...dog bones and fairy gingerbread. Reading also has a prominent spot on my agenda. If I get the chance I need to go buy kitty litter but that means carrying Keoki up to his kennel so that might not happen. wave


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #904086
07/27/13 11:34 AM
07/27/13 11:34 AM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,267
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,267
In the Naughty Corner
Whoever stole summer please bring it back....this is completely unacceptable. summer It's in the 50's with a low of 40's. I require my summer heat and sunshine and I feel like I'm ready to go into winter hibernation instead. lol

In the corner and hope to run the dogs later. Still enjoying Peters visit in the meantime.

Hope you all are enjoying the day!
Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #904089
07/27/13 11:47 AM
07/27/13 11:47 AM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Hope work flies by today, Joe.

Ana, you can have some of my summer heat if you want it. lol Hope your project is going well.

Glad things have cooled off for you, Space Quest.

Have a super Saturday, too, manxman.

Have fun at the barn with Bella today, Karen. puppy

Enjoy your Saturday, Cailyn.

Have a nice day also, Gerry.

Have fun at the beach, Gail. woot

Thanks for all the delicious food, Connie. On top of the breakfast I already had this morning, this is going to make me extremely full. lol

Have fun at the party tonight, Mary. rah

Hope work goes well tonight, Midge.

Have fun baking and reading, L4L. thumbsup

I'm off today. No plans, but since tomorrow is going to be a very busy day - work and then a Pampered Chef party at my friend's house - I think I'll take advantage of the relaxing quiet day, and maybe play a game or two. smile

Hope everyone here is having a terrific Saturday. summer


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #904091
07/27/13 11:55 AM
07/27/13 11:55 AM
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 11,505
Kirkwood, MO USA
flutist Offline
Adept Boomer
flutist  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 11,505
Kirkwood, MO USA
Good morning all.

Temps going up to the mid 70's today. Beautiful.

Got my vacuuming done so the rest of the day is free. Took Cory for a walk and stopped and visited with Ginny. She is doing just great.

Wishing everyone a wonderful day.

Bets


Corgis fill your life with Joy, your heart with Love, and your soul with Sunshine.
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #904116
07/27/13 01:29 PM
07/27/13 01:29 PM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer
auntiegram  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
Joe just keep in mind that only one more after today!! lol Hope work flies and goes well. Thanks for the chuckles.

Ana it's been a little on the 'cooool' side the last few days. I soooo would like for Summer to arrive and stay awhile. lol May the corner be kind and move right along. Enjoy Peter's visit and your run with the dogs!

Space glad it is cooler there now, enjoy!!

Karen have a lovely time at the lbarn. Bet Bella has lots of fun running around. Have a lovely day!

Cailyn thanks for the nice warm coffee. It hit the spot. Have a lovely day!

Gerry have a lovely day!

Gail have a lovely time at the beach. I take it that since that is where you are headed then the rain has stopped. happydance Enjoy!!

Connie have a lovely day! Thanks for the danish!

Mary birthday to your grandson!! Enjoy the party!!

Midge hope some of the before work busy is fun! Have a lovely day!

L4l you make your own dog bones??? How?? Have fun baking. That just gave me an idea of how to warm up.......bake. lol Happy baking!!

venus enjoy your day off and may it be relaxing for you! Happy gaming.

Bets glad it has cooled some for you there. My nephew and his SO and their adoptive son are in St. Louis today on vacation. They stayed at a KOA campground in a cabin last night. They are heading toward Florida.

Glad the vacuuming is finished but did you do your fav thing to do yet???? lol Just kidding. Glad Ginny is doing well.

No plans yet but ya never know.

wave
Nan

Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #904118
07/27/13 01:49 PM
07/27/13 01:49 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Nan, I did many years ago and have started doing so again. I used to make almost everything we ate from scratch. When the kids left I got a bit lazy and started using convenience foods, but have decided it's time to get back to making it myself so I know what's really in it. lol

I got This recipe from daughter and the dogs love them. I'm in the mood to bake but since I'm the only human here and I really really don't need to eat treats, decided to bake for the dogs. puppy wave


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #904127
07/27/13 02:34 PM
07/27/13 02:34 PM
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 3,295
Oregon
Lotus777 Offline
Addicted Boomer
Lotus777  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 3,295
Oregon
Just a quick fly by hello. I don't even want to say what is going on now...... terrible flea problem and now they are in my Mums house again. Bombing it and hoping I caught it in time as the professionals cost tooo much!! Off I go to see results of battle or feel them, yuck!! shocked Happy Gaming everyone!! wave


Lotus
Life is like a hot bath. It feels good while you’re in it, but the longer you stay in, the more wrinkled you get.
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #904155
07/27/13 06:14 PM
07/27/13 06:14 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
The raise joke was my favorite Joe. lol


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #904161
07/27/13 06:47 PM
07/27/13 06:47 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Okay, baking spate is over. Very interesting. Put 2 pans of fairy gingerbread in the oven using brand new pans. One was very bright and shiny while the other was just a tiny bit grey and shiny. The grey one turned out much much darker gingerbread than the lighter one even though I turned and switched the pans 1/2 way through. I also discovered that my oven is cooking 25 degrees below what is being set...at least if my oven thermometer is correct. I'll have to buy a different brand to check. My oven is not very old so I really didn't expect to find out it was not accurate.

I cooked some chicken while I was up there too. After I rest the silly back for a bit, I'm going to make myself some chicken salad for supper. Then I'm going to read. I have one book to finish and a bunch to start. wave


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #904163
07/27/13 07:04 PM
07/27/13 07:04 PM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist
Sorta Blonde  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
OK L4L, send some of that fried chicken to ME. I'm hungry for home cooked chicken. Nothing around here even comes close.

Today's fiasco was going to the thrift store and buying an old iron 'wood splitter' and 6 railroad tie spikes. Dunno why, but I will add them to my collection of old iron stuff. Have strange objects all over. Some are hand made things. Neat for a display with the old rusty patina.

I started this silly collection years ago when I was about 15 with a spike that my dad and I spent about an hour prying out of the old wooden road that ran from California to Arizona across the desert sand dunes. Sometimes it's covered by sand and sometimes it appears. Probably will be arrested some day for that 'theft' but it's so neat to have a part of history. There were thousands and thousands of those nails in the old road. I only took one.

Maybe the 'curse' is the 'need' to buy more rusty stuff? rotfl


WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #904165
07/27/13 07:18 PM
07/27/13 07:18 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Sorta, I think you put your finger on it. That's hysterical. wave I wish you could have tasted my mom's fried chicken. I've never had better. I also wish she would have taught me her secret. Mine is ok, but nothing compared to hers.


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Saturdiner [Re: looney4labs] #904172
07/27/13 08:13 PM
07/27/13 08:13 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
Hello everybody. wave

I hope you're all doing well this evening. yes

I had a splendid day, and now I'm having a splendid evening. thumbsup

Sis was not here last night, and only here for about a half hour this evening and gone again. bravo

That leaves the house to me.............and Baby..............and Pepper.............and the six cats. happydance

We're all alone. snicker

I just had my shower, and now I'm watching a Potter movie, and fixing to do some more Bioshock. woot

I don't work tomorrow until 1:00.

joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #904175
07/27/13 09:03 PM
07/27/13 09:03 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Joe, you are a hoot. You are alone like I am rotfl

I'm heading up to read, so will see you all in the morning. Sleep well and sweet dreams. sleep

Last edited by looney4labs; 07/27/13 09:03 PM.

"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
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