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#904562 - 07/30/13 12:40 AM Tuesday's
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 30150
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love. How on earth can you explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love? Put your hand on a stove for a minute and it seems like an hour. Sit with that special girl for an hour and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.
Albert Einstein
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There were once two people travelling on a train, a scientist and a poet, who were riding in the same compartment. They had never met before, so naturally, there wasn't much conversation between the two.
The poet was minding his own business, looking out the window at the beauty of the passing terrain. The scientist was very uptight, trying to think of things he didn't know so he could try to figure them out.

Finally, the scientist was so bored, that he said to the poet, "Hey, do you want to play a game?"

The poet, being content with what he was doing, ignored him and continued looking out the window, humming quietly to himself. This infuriated the scientist, who irritably asked again, "Hey, you, do you want to play a game? I'll ask you a question, and if you get it wrong, you give me $5. Then, YOU ask ME a question, and if I can't answer it, I'll give YOU $5."

The poet thought about this for a moment, but he decided against it, seeing that the scientist was obviously a very bright man. He politely turned down the scientist's offer.

The scientist, who, by this time was going mad, tried a final time. "Look, I'll ask you a question, and if you can't answer it, you give me $5. Then you ask ME a question, and if I can't answer it, I'll give you $50!"

Now, the poet was not that smart academically, but he wasn't totally stupid. He readily accepted the offer. "Okay," the scientist said, "what is the EXACT distance between the Earth and the Moon?"

The poet, obviously not knowing the answer, didn't stop to think about the scientist's question. He took a $5 bill out of his pocket and handed it to the scientist. The scientist happily accepted the bill and promptly said, "Okay, now it's your turn."

The poet thought about this for a few minutes, then asked, "All right, what goes up a mountain on three legs, but comes down on four?" The bright glow quickly vanished from the scientist's face. He thought about this for a long time, taking out his notepad and making numerous calculations. He finally gave up on his notepad and took out his laptop, using his Multimedia Encyclopedia.

After about an hour of this, the poet quietly watching the mountains of Colorado go by the whole time, the scientist FINALLY gave up. He reluctantly handed the poet a $50 bill. The poet accepted it graciously, turning back to the window.

"Wait!" the scientist shouted. "You can't do this to me! What's the answer??"

The poet looked at the scientist and calmly put another $5 bill into his hand.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two friends are walking in the jungle.
Suddenly a tiger appears in the distance running toward them. One friend pulls a pair of 'Nikes' out of his bag and quickly puts them on.
With a surprised look, the other friend says, "You don't really think you can out run that tiger with those?"
"I don't need to out run the tiger", his friend replies, "I just need to run faster than you".
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Negotiations between union members and their employer were at an impasse. The union denied that their workers were flagrantly abusing their contract's sick-leave provisions.

One morning at the bargaining table, the company's chief negotiator held aloft the morning edition of the newspaper, "This man," he announced, "called in sick yesterday!"

There on the sports page, was a photo of the supposedly ill employee, who had just won a local golf tournament with an excellent score.

The silence in the room was broken by a union negotiator.

"Wow," he said. "Just think of what kind of score he could have had if he hadn't been sick!"
~~~~~~~~~~``

A guy burned two ears... so they were asking him at the hospital how it happened.

He said, "I was ironing my clothing and the phone rang...so instead of the phone I picked up the iron and burned my ear..."

"But how the heck did you burn the other ear?" The doctor asked.

"How do you think I called you people?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A policeman directing traffic at a busy city intersection one afternoon observed a blind man with his seeing-eye dog waiting to cross the street.

All of a sudden, the policeman was aghast at the sight of the seeing-eye dog bolting out into the street in front of heavy traffic at one of the busiest intersections in the whole city, dragging the blind man along with the dog's leash in the blind man's hands while cars were trying to stop, screeching their brakes and swerving to avoid a fatal accident.

The policeman was absolutely horrified, but could do nothing to assist. To the immediate relief of the horrified police officer, the blind man and his dog somehow made it across the street without suffering any harm to themselves whatsoever. It was a miracle!
The police officer, still in shock, observed the blind man, upon reaching the corner sidewalk after having nearly been killed crossing the street, reach into his pocket and pull out a cookie and offer it to his seeing-eye dog.

The officer ran to the blind man and said to him in a loud distraught tone, "Don't you realize that you could have been killed by your dog dragging you out into a busy street in front of heavy traffic like that? And NOW you're going to reward him?"

The blind man hesitated a moment, then he said to the policeman, "Why, no sir! I'm just trying to find out where his head is so I can kick his behind!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie. welcome

I'm trying to beat my time for last night's diner post of 11:53. happydance

It's 11:23 right now. yes

That's only a half hour for those of you who are mathmatically challenged. wink

My challenge is spelling, and if I quit using big words such as "mathmatically", that I have to look up, then I might make it. slapforehead

Of course I don't think anyone knows how to spell mathmatically. grin

The other problem is time lost to sleep passing clean out, and waking 2 minutes later with drool running down through my goatee. taz

That's enough of that.

I woke and thought I had deleted my post accidentally, but I only fell asleep with my finger on the space bar. rolleyes

Y'all have a happy day.

joe
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

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#904568 - 07/30/13 02:38 AM Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1]
Drmojo Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 12/04/04
Posts: 1838
Loc: Washington In the Wet corner
Hey ya Boom Boom Buddies

Thanks for the chuckles Joe snicker
have you had any more rain? we sure need it
we have had no rain in 33 days now
I think we stole Ana's summer summer
sorry Ana you can't have it back snicker

Nan Bella is like a queen bee riding
around on my chair lol she even has her
own basket with blankets, I can't let
her run around too much she might get
stepped on with all the big horses
around. she has gotten sooo lazy snicker
but she does run around a lot at home puppy
how's Sassy doing? does she like to play
fetch?

Hey Gail skype tonight buddy??

have a great day everyone Karen cat
_________________________

Peace be with you Brother~

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#904569 - 07/30/13 02:41 AM Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1]
Haroula Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 8089
Loc: Greece
Good morning Joe,Karen and all. wave
Have a great day. happydance summer
_________________________
Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.



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#904570 - 07/30/13 02:51 AM Re: Tuesday's [Re: Haroula]
cailyn Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 01/08/06
Posts: 6095
Loc: Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
Good morning Joe,Karen,Haroula waveI'm up a little to early tiredOh well what can you do? I know what, make the coffee and then hit the gym!Wishing you all a Sunny day summer
_________________________
I may not have gone where I intended to go,but I think I have ended up where I need to be.

Sue

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#904575 - 07/30/13 05:31 AM Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 17608
Loc: Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe, Karen, Haroula, and Cailyn. It's going to be a beautiful day here today. No humidity! Nice for walking! Enjoy the day everyone! wave
_________________________
Gerry

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#904580 - 07/30/13 06:03 AM Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1]
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 03/07/09
Posts: 5673
Loc: Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Hello and goodbye. wave Have a great Tuesday, everyone. summer

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#904583 - 07/30/13 06:35 AM Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1]
connie Online   content
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 07/12/02
Posts: 8196
Loc: winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. Midge, birthday to your sis. Evelyn, I'm sorry your year has been sad. Hugs on the way. hearts Karen, I'll send you some of our rain. We have had plenty. A trip to the Mall today. To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful Tuesday. Danish, BB Pancakes, and Omelets, in the NC. summer
_________________________
Connie

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#904584 - 07/30/13 06:50 AM Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1]
GBC Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/06/07
Posts: 14783
Loc: Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers

Joe, wishing you a super good day!

Karen, have a great day. Talk to you tonight.

Haroula, happy day is wished.

Sue, Coffee is well appreciated this morning.

Gerry, no high humidity sounds great!

Venus, enjoy the day!

Connie, have a great time at the Mall.

Nan, seems like the summer is just flying by. Girls will be going back to school the end of August.

Going to my cousin's pool this afternoon.
_________________________
Gail

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#904596 - 07/30/13 08:54 AM Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1]
MsMercury Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 02/08/06
Posts: 11745
Loc: Scotland
Hi Boomers! Hope you're all doing well!

Where has this year gone?? I can't believe we're at the end of July already! Soon be time to plan my baking for that event in December! lol Got a cake on the go today then a wee break of a couple of weeks...will allow me to organise other things.

Weird weather here, instead of hot and dry we're hot and wet...yuck! Still, we didn't get the severe thunderstorms that were forecast...thank goodness!

Have a great day guys!

Mary hearts
_________________________
"It's not what you have in your life
but who you have in your life that counts." puppy

I'm not getting old....just 'Marvelously Mature'! grin

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#904603 - 07/30/13 09:58 AM Re: Tuesday's [Re: MsMercury]
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 30150
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
Good morning everyone. wave

I'm still having my coffee this morning. I'm slow moving today. tired

I'll be running up to Walmart, and to get a couple of new Polo shirts in a little while. yes

Karen 33 days is a long time to go without rain. We've been fortunate this year. We've had several rains in July which I am so grateful for. It's been raining here over night and this morning too, but not a lot. We did get 2" worth in the last week. bravo

I hope your drought ends soon. kissy

Good morning Haroula, Sue, Gerry, Venus, Connie, Ana, & Gail. wave

Mary we are getting ready now for our Trim-A-Tree Christmas decorations, and for heaters which will be coming in in a month or less. shocked

Yes it's hard to believe over half the year has already flown by. yes

I'm definitely ready for Summer to be over with.

Have a great day all.

joe
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

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#904617 - 07/30/13 11:33 AM Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1]
manxman Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 07/23/02
Posts: 15712
Loc: Unionville
Good morning boomers. wave Great jokes today Joe, I especially liked the train joke (mathematical wink )
Have a terrific Tuesday everyone smile
_________________________
Sometimes lost is where you need to be. Just because you don't know your direction doesn't mean you don't have one.

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#904620 - 07/30/13 11:38 AM Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1]
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 7410
Loc: San Diego, CA
Wish me luck. I'm going out today to search for a new printer. My old HP Photosmart 1000 and 1115 seem to have NO ink available. They are phasing it out, so I am going to finally upgrade to one that has multiple color cartridges. Only problem is that the new one has to be less than 19" to fit into my computer desk cubby. So far no luck since the new ones are 19 1/2 and larger. Taking my tape measure and good thoughts with me. Not gonna be easy I think. sherlock
_________________________
WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.

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#904623 - 07/30/13 11:45 AM Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1]
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/10/06
Posts: 13800
Loc: northern Wisconsin
Joe send summer here please and thank you!! Another overcast day with the threat of rain. Woopy.....not. lol Enjoy your day off and happy hunting, if ya go.

Karen Sassy probably wishes I had a scooter for her to ride in. lol There is this one gentleman here that has two Chihuahuas and a big trike with a basket in back where the dogs ride as he peddles. They stay in there too. So cute to watch them ride around. lol I'll see what I can do about sending our rain your way.

Haroula welcome back and glad you had a great time. Have a lovely day!

Cailyn thanks for the coffee and have fun at the gym. Sounds like a busy, busy weekend for the campgrounds. Enjoy the show.

Gerry have a lovely day!

venus Happy Working and may it be fun and go well.

Gail enjoy the time at the pool. Time just seems to be in high gear these days but I'm not rushing it as I know what is around the corner. lol Have a lovely day!

Connie shoppithy shop at the mall. Thanks for the danish and have a lovely day!

Mary enjoy the reprive from baking!! Have a lovely day!

wave
Nan

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#904667 - 07/30/13 02:13 PM Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 42632
Loc: Alabama
Terrific Tuesday ya'll puppy

We slept in and in. I woke up and started to get up only to discover hubby was still in bed. So I took off my cpap and slid over to cuddle with him. We got up just in time to get a cup of coffee and make a smoothie for the boys to take with them. Their g'mother picked them up an hour before she was supposed to. lol

Then Soot and I hung upstairs cleaning stuff up and unloading and chatting. The plan was to come down here and relax today, clean tomorrow, with son and 3 kids to be here on Thursday. However, son just called....they are getting here tomorrow and leaving Friday night. So that means I will get to cleaning in just a minute so it will all be done tomorrow so we can get groceries then.

Sounds like the family reunion was a lot of fun...90+ people. I was just fine being at home though. Someone was giving daughter a hard time 'cos "her mom" was the "only one" who didn't come. So daughter said "She's here" and showed them her tatoo of me. rotfl

Time to get busy......back later wave
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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#904699 - 07/30/13 03:49 PM Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1]
Haroula Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 8089
Loc: Greece
sleep wave
_________________________
Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.



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#904703 - 07/30/13 03:56 PM Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1]
Space Quest Fan Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/17/01
Posts: 9714
Loc: Columbus,Ohio USA
Good afternoon Boomers. wave
_________________________
It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.

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#904726 - 07/30/13 05:16 PM Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 65747
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
oops I thought I stopped in this morning, but I guess not. It's a rainy day here and I'm in the corner for the whole day. Peter is heading back to the city in a little bit but we had a nice chat time this morning. His rash didn't get worse and it looks to be starting to heal so fingers crossed.

***************

lol So I just found this post sitting here. I wrote it 3 hours ago and once again got sidetracked and did not post.

I give...I am hitting submit now.
Have a happy day! hearts
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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#904735 - 07/30/13 06:12 PM Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 42632
Loc: Alabama
lol Ana, we all have days like that. Glad Peter's rash is getting better.

We are almost finished cleaning. Hubby thinks the kids will be here tomorrow morning instead of tomorrow afternoon.

Poor Keoki! He's been so good all day. He needed to go out so I took him out front and Wham Bam, thunder right over our heads. wave
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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#904767 - 07/30/13 08:38 PM Re: Tuesday's [Re: looney4labs]
Space Quest Fan Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/17/01
Posts: 9714
Loc: Columbus,Ohio USA
See you all tomorrow Boomers. wave
_________________________
It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.

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#904768 - 07/30/13 08:38 PM Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 65747
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Poor Keoki! You never know when it's safe to go outside. lol

Darlene, hope all is well...

SpaceQ, have a nice evening!

Ana wave


Edited by BrownEyedTigre (07/30/13 08:39 PM)
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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#904774 - 07/30/13 10:35 PM Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1]
Midge Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 04/30/00
Posts: 14743
Loc: Massachusetts
Late as usual. Worked a split shift today. Home now and ready for bed. I hope you all had a good day. Tomorrow is my day off so I'll be here a little later in the morning. Night all.

Midgie hearts
_________________________
Just do it.

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#904786 - 07/31/13 12:47 AM Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1]
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/10/06
Posts: 13800
Loc: northern Wisconsin
lol L4l stay in the backyard. Every time you go out front something loud happens. lol Hope the cleaning is done and you have a lovely visit! Prayers for the Band around son as they are traveling.

Ana hope the project is moving right along for you. We were cloudy all day but no rain. Maybe tonight and tomorrow.

Midge may you enjoy your day off!!

Well I think I shall head for bed. Night all sleep well and pleasant dreams.

sleep
Nan

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