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Hump Day #906229
08/06/13 06:41 PM
08/06/13 06:41 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
Sir Winston Churchill
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Queen Elizabeth and Prince Phillip are entertaining the King and Queen of Tonga, during the visit they accept a customary ride in the horse drawn cart around the grounds of Sandringham Castle.

During the trip one of the horses forts and the sound and smell carries all the way through the cart to the royals. Embarrassed by this, the queen whispers in Phillip's ear "do you think I should mention that to our guests?". Phillip agrees saying "yes, that would be a good idea".

So the queen leans over to the the King of Tonga and says: "please do excuse me, I'm very embarrassed about that", to which the king of Tonga replies, "that's ok ma'am, I thought it was the horse".
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Three men, one German, one Japanese and a Texan were sitting naked in a sauna. Suddenly there was a beeping sound. The German pressed his forearm and the beep stopped. The others looked at him questioningly. "That was my pager, "he said, "I have a microchip under the skin of my arm."
A few minutes later a phone rang. The Japanese fellow lifted his palm to his ear. When he finished he explained, "That was my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand."

The Texan felt decidedly low tech, but not to be outdone he decided he had to do something just as impressive. He stepped out of the sauna and went to the bathroom. He returned with a piece of toilet paper hanging from his behind. The others raised their eyebrows and stared at him. The Texan finally said "Well, will you look at that, I'm getting a fax."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Things You Don't Want to Hear During Surgery:

- Oops!
- Has anyone seen my watch?
- That was some party last night I
can't remember when I've been that
drunk.
- [blip]! Page 47 of the manual is
missing!
- Well this book doesn't say that...
What edition is your manual?
- OK, now take a picture from this
angle. This is truly a freak of
nature.
- Better save that. We'll need it for
the autopsy.
- Come back with that! Bad Dog!
- Wait a minute, if this is his spleen,
then what's that?
- Hand me that...uh...that
uh.....thingie
- If I can just remember how they did
this on ER last week.
- Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml
of this stuff before?
- [blip], there go the lights again...
- Ya know, there's big money in
kidneys. Hell, the guy's got two
of 'em.
- Everybody stand back! I lost my
contact lens!
- Could you stop that thing from
beating; it's throwing my
concentration off.
- I wish I hadn't forgotten my glasses.
- Well folks, this will be an
experiment for all of us.
- Steril, shcmeril. The floor's clean,
right?
- What do you mean he wasn't in for a
sex change!
- What do you mean, he's not insured?
- This patient has already had some
kids, am I correct?
- Nurse, did this patient sign the
organ donation card?
- Don't worry. I think it is sharp
enough.
- What do you mean "You want a divorce"!
- I don't know what it is, but hurry up
and pack it in ice.
- Let's hurry, I don't want to
miss "Bay Watch"
- That laughing gas stuff is pretty
cool. Can I have some more of that?
- Hey Charlie, unzip the bag on that
one, he's still moving.
- Did the doctor know he would look
like that afterwards?
- Of course I've performed this
operation before, Nurse!
- FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mrs.O'Donovan was walking down O'Connell Street in Dublin, and coming in the opposite direction was Father Rafferty. "Hello," said the Father, "and how is Mrs.O'Donovan? Didn't I marry you two years ago?" She replied "That you did Father." The priest asked, "And are there any little ones yet?" "No, not yet Father," said she. "Well, now, I'm going to Rome next week, and I'll light a candle for you." "Thank you, Father." And away she went.

A few years later they met again. "Well, now, Mrs. O'Donovan," said the Father, "how are you?" "Oh, very well," said she. "And tell me," he said, "have you any little ones yet?" "Oh yes, Father. I've had three sets of twins, and four singles -- ten in all." "Now isn't that wonderful," he said "And how is your lovely husband?" "Oh," she said, "he's gone to Rome. To blow out the [blip] candle!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After a Beer Festival, in London, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer.

The guy from Corona sits down and says "Hey Sen~or, I would like the world's best beer, a Corona." The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him.

The guy from Budweiser says "I'd like the best beer in the world, give me 'The King Of Beers', a Budweiser." The bartender gives him one.

The guy from Coors says "I'd like the only beer made with Rocky Mountain spring water, give me a Coors." He gets it.

The guy from Guiness sits down and says "Give me a Coke." The bartender is a little taken aback, but gives him what he ordered.

The other brewery presidents look over at him and ask "Why aren't you drinking a Guiness?" and the Guiness resident replies "Well, if you guys aren't drinking beer, neither will I."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie. welcome

Two down, and four to go, and I wished to heck they would get gone already. razz

The heat is unmerciful this week. 100 degrees plus every day. shocked

That's like double my sister's IQ......plus another 10 degrees. yes

Every day at some point during the day my shirt is soaked in sweat. smirk

Yesterday I had to take, it off and wring it out. It filled up a 5 gallon water jug.

The guys out in the garden center asked me to get them another drinking water jug after that. blush

My bad.... duh

It COULD have been strained through a stocking to filter it.

Well I've got one more early day and I've gotta get myself ready for beddie-bye.

My sister is spending the night with her best friend, and I've gotta little surprise to get ready for when she gets back.

I just hope they don't all crawl out of her bed before she uses it again. happydance

That'll blow the surprise part all to heck, and I do love hearing the surprise in her screams.

Have a happy day everyone.

joe

Last edited by gymcandy1; 08/06/13 06:50 PM.

There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #906232
08/06/13 07:44 PM
08/06/13 07:44 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Hope you have a great hump day Joe. happydance


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Hump Day [Re: Space Quest Fan] #906263
08/06/13 10:58 PM
08/06/13 10:58 PM
Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
Darlene Offline
Adept Boomer
Darlene  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Happy Hump Day!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Still Tuesday evening for me....

Been sooooo enjoying my time off. One more day, then it's back to work on Thursday.

So.

To all abed, sleep To all awake, woot


Woohoo and booyah! smile Have an easy peasy day!
Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #906266
08/06/13 11:23 PM
08/06/13 11:23 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,268
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,268
In the Naughty Corner
lol Oh Joe...you could really do a whole standup routine on your sister. I think you should give it a shot.

SpaceQ, you are halfway there!

Darlene, I am so glad you are enjoying your time off. hearts

Have a happy day everyone!

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #906271
08/06/13 11:30 PM
08/06/13 11:30 PM
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Midge Offline
Graduate Boomer
Midge  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Hi Joe, SQFan, Darlene, and Ana. Ana how's your rash tonight? I hope it's getting better. Well, see you on the flip side.

Midgie hearts


Just do it.
Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #906285
08/07/13 02:52 AM
08/07/13 02:52 AM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Haroula Offline
Adept Boomer
Haroula  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Good morning Joe, SQFan, Darlene, Ana, Migjie and all who follow. wave
Have a great day everyone. happydance


I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".

Re: Hump Day [Re: Haroula] #906293
08/07/13 04:33 AM
08/07/13 04:33 AM
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 6,145
Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
cailyn Offline
BAAG Specialist
cailyn  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 6,145
Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
Good morning all wave I'm headed out to the gym! The coffee is on a happy day wished for all summer


I may not have gone where I intended to go,but I think I have ended up where I need to be.

Sue
Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #906295
08/07/13 05:15 AM
08/07/13 05:15 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Good morning Joe, Ana, SpaceQ, Darlene, Midgie, Haroula and Sue. Happy Day wished for All! summer


Gerry
Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #906316
08/07/13 07:20 AM
08/07/13 07:20 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers

Joe, have a great day.

Ana, enjoy whatever you have planned for the day.

Space, good morning.

Haroula, good day.

Darlene, enjoy your tome off.

Sue, thanks for the coffee. Enjoy the gym.

Gerry, a good day wished for you also.

Midgie, do you have the day off today?

Got a Doc appointment this morning. Be back later. wave


Gail
Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #906319
08/07/13 07:23 AM
08/07/13 07:23 AM
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 12,378
Scotland
MsMercury Offline
Adept Boomer
MsMercury  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 12,378
Scotland
Hi Boomers! Hope everyone is feeling well! Ana, hope they get to the bottom of what's causing that rash. kissy

We're having some remedial work done to the outside of the house today, we had the roof and guttering repaired last year and the work today will take care of the rest before winter sets in. The guys who do the work are the best in terms of quality and price so can't ask for anything better than that! happydance

Off to find another room to blitz! Have a great day guys!

Mary hearts


"It's not what you have in your life
but who you have in your life that counts." puppy

I'm not getting old....just 'Marvelously Mature'! grin
Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #906351
08/07/13 10:06 AM
08/07/13 10:06 AM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Hello, everyone. wave Just a quick stop-by today, as I'm going to see my friend. We're going to spend the day together, and then she needs someone to watch her daughter for the next four Wednesday late afternoon/evenings. So busy day for me. smile

Hope everyone here has a terrific Wednesday. summer

Last edited by venus; 08/07/13 10:07 AM.

Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #906357
08/07/13 10:18 AM
08/07/13 10:18 AM
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Midge Offline
Graduate Boomer
Midge  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Good morning again. Hi Gail wave yes I have the day off today. I'm hoping to spend part of it with my best friend. Maybe for lunch. We'll see. Ana how's the rash today? I hope it's gone. Venus have a great time with your friend. Do something fun.

Midgie hearts


Just do it.
Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #906360
08/07/13 10:40 AM
08/07/13 10:40 AM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Thanks, Midge. Just had a change of plans, though. lol Enjoy your day off. thumbsup

Well, my friend just called me. Her husband came home early today because of the rain (he works outdoors), and he's going to be able to watch their daughter. So looks like I'm down to three weeks instead of four. smile

So, day off - gaming, singing. woot Well, I'll sing when Thorsgoats leaves this evening, anyway. He's working overnights for the next two weeks. smile

Okay, off to see what I can get into around here. Have a great day, everyone. wave


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Hump Day [Re: Midge] #906362
08/07/13 10:46 AM
08/07/13 10:46 AM
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 2,330
Switzerland
Gimli Offline
Addicted Boomer
Gimli  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 2,330
Switzerland
Good morning my friends wave

Joe: I love your sister jokes. Or... maybe they aren't jokes at all? grin

Ana: just read about your rash. Boy that is a real bummer. You poor girl. I hope you'll get it under control soon. Is someone from the organization team paying for the meds? Big hugs kissy

I had lunch with sis and Mum and we had a lot of fun. Mum is doing all right. Still plaster on her broken arm and they will take it off (the plaster I mean) only in approx 5 weeks they say in hospital. And it's hot hot here in Switzerland. Poor Mum. But we help her a lot. We go shopping and do pre-cooking for her and opening cans and cutting bread and... you name it lol

Tomorrow, I promised myself, I'll try to get over my procrastination. I really should start working on the commission work....

I wish you all a wonderful day. Keep smiling grin

Evelyne


"You ask me what life is. That's like asking me what a carrot is. A carrot is a carrot is a carrot" (A. Chekhov)
Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #906370
08/07/13 11:32 AM
08/07/13 11:32 AM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,268
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,268
In the Naughty Corner
Good morning boomies! I ended up turning on the AC last night to get the humidity out. It was giving me a headache and making me more itchy. It helped so I could get a better nights sleep.

To those that asked if my rash is getting better, I am still in the stages of getting worse daily. It can continue to get worse for 21 days before beginning to heal. sad

On the bright side, I am a glutten for punishment and I have a team of 5 registered for the next Spartan Race in Wisconsin in November. We are called Captain Crunch and the Cereal Killers and I am Fruit Loops. rotfl I can't let this deter me.

Evelyne, good luck on your commissioned work. Once you start I am sure you will find the motivation to continue. hearts
You are a wonderful daughter. kissy

Venus, enjoy your day off.

Midgie, glad you have a day off and hope you and your friend have fun.

Mary, it's great to find someone reasonable that does good work. Hard to find!

Gail, I hope the doc appt goes well.

Gerry, have a happy day!

Sue, enjoy your workout.

Haroula, have a great day.

I'm off to run the dogs...

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #906371
08/07/13 11:35 AM
08/07/13 11:35 AM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Wonderful Wednesday ya'll puppy

Hubby and the 3 able-legged ones and I made it to the park this morning early. It was soooooooooooo foggy out there. I haven't seen fog like that here for a long time. Not a problem though as we kept the doggies on the leash. Came home soaked, but expected that as it's Aug. in Alabama and we were walking through a cloud most of the time.

Got KISA and I smoothied and then took Keoki up to the park and followed him around for awhile. He actually walked about 1/4 mile and would have kept going, but I said "Nope" and we came home. He is now in a downstairs kennel as it seems like every time I leave him alone for one sec, something awful happens.

Next came a little online shopping happydance I think Son is off all day, so I think he and I are going to WoW a bit...I can't play all day, but I can give him a couple of hours for fun!


Joe, I love and fully believe in today's quote. Thanks for using it.

Back in a bit wave


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #906378
08/07/13 11:52 AM
08/07/13 11:52 AM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,268
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,268
In the Naughty Corner
L4L, glad you got your walk in and get some WoW time in today! yay Enjoy your day!


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #906379
08/07/13 12:10 PM
08/07/13 12:10 PM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer
auntiegram  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
Joe you are too funny!! lol Thanks for the laughs. May work fly and go well. Have a great day!

Ana so sorry that all this rash thing is such a long process. HUGS! Have a lovely run with the dogs! Sunday is our color run!!! happydance

Space only two after today!!!!

Darlene glad that you are enjoying your 'mini' vacation!! Have a lovely day!

Midge enjoy your day off!!Have a lovely time with your friend and enjoy lunch!

Haroula have a lovely day!

Evelyne you are so kind to your mom!!! hearts No more procrastinating!!!!!! Once you get started you will do just great!!! Have a lovely day!

Cailyn have a fun time at the l;gym and a lovely day! Thanks for the coffee.

Gerry have a lovely day!

venus enjoy your time today singing and gaming!! Guess there are some good that comes from a rainy day. lol

Mary how nice to have the house makeover!!! May all go well too. Have a lovely day!

Gail best of luck at the doc today!!! hearts Have a lovely day!

L4l have a fun day with the gaming with son!!! How is Keoki doing?? That is good that he was able to do a little walking today!

wave
Nan

Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #906398
08/07/13 02:53 PM
08/07/13 02:53 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,268
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,268
In the Naughty Corner
Nan, I hope you enjoy the color run! You are doing this one by you right? yay

Dogs have been run and swam while I ran hills to exhaustion. lol

I was just going to head out on the bike and it started raining. I guess that was my sign it was not the time to do that. I will go to the store and get bananas instead. That will keep me out of trouble. grin


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Hump Day [Re: BrownEyedTigre] #906405
08/07/13 03:17 PM
08/07/13 03:17 PM
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,226
Washington In the Wet corner
Drmojo Offline
Addicted Boomer
Drmojo  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,226
Washington In the Wet corner
Hey ya Boom Boom Buddies

Its soooo hot again today been playing
in the hose with Mo dance
he puts his upper lip in the water
and wiggles it fast splashing water
all over both of us! he's a silly boy snicker

L4L what is wrong with Keoi? i don't
know how to spell his name sorry~


Nan you footed the bill to feed all those
people? WOW! you are an Angel hearts


saying Prayers for your rash Ana hearts

have a good day everyone Karen puppy


"Horses are smart"

"You never heard of a Horse going broke"
betting on Humans~ Will Rogers~
Re: Hump Day [Re: Drmojo] #906418
08/07/13 04:11 PM
08/07/13 04:11 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Hump day down. Now please bring on the weekend. happydance


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #906445
08/07/13 05:23 PM
08/07/13 05:23 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Doc, Keoki tore his ACL almost a month ago. He has been carried and only allowed potty walks for weeks. Then got to the point where he was allowed to walk a little, and then he got loose and zapped himself down the stairs to reinjure. Back to not walking and now back to walking again. wave puppy


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #906467
08/07/13 07:32 PM
08/07/13 07:32 PM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer
auntiegram  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
Ana yes!! The Color Dash here in Superior!!! Should be fun, fun, fun!!

Sorry the rain came and stopped the bike ride. We have had chances of rain all week but it has been toying with us. lol Going all around us.

Karen there were a couple other members of our neighborhood watch group that helped also!! Was lots of fun and one guy brought out his DJ setup and played music!! Some even danced!

Sounds like you and Mo know how to deal with the hot weather. We have lbeen hovering around the 70 make for the last week but cool at night.

Space hope it is here before you know it!!!

wave L4l!!!

wave
Nan

Re: Hump Day [Re: auntiegram] #906468
08/07/13 07:45 PM
08/07/13 07:45 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
Howdy everybody. wave

It has been one VERY long day. shocked

I'll tell you all about it in Thursday's diner. lol

I can't believe it's only 6:40. tired

Work was like a concentration camp, or a chain gang today. I filled up two of those 5 gallon jugs with sweat. One of them before 7:00. shocked

Two o'clock could not get here early enough. smirk

Tomorrow I don't go to work until 2:00.

It was 110 degrees here when I got home.

I hope your day is a good one. happydance

joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #906470
08/07/13 07:53 PM
08/07/13 07:53 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Eeek Joe, sounds like not such a nice day! Hubby home with big load of groceries...followed by dinner....followed by ????? puppy


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
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