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#906749 - 08/09/13 12:57 AM TGIF
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 30063
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
Man perfected by society is the best of all animals; he is the most terrible of all when he lives without law, and without justice.
Aristotle
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


A lawyer and two friends--a Rabbi, and a Hindu holy man--had car trouble in the countryside and asked to spend the night with a farmer.

The farmer said, "There might be a problem. You see, I only have room for two to sleep in the house. So one of you must sleep in the barn."

"No problem," chimed the Rabbi. "My people wandered in the desert for forty years. I am humble enough to sleep in the barn for one evening." With that he departed to the barn, and the others bedded down for the night.

Moments later a knock was heard at the door; the farmer opened the door. There stood the Rabbi from the barn. "What's wrong?" asked the farmer. He replied, "I am grateful to you, but I just can't sleep in the barn. There is a pig in the barn, and my faith believes that is an unclean animal."
His Hindu friend agrees to swap places with him. But a few minutes later the same scene reoccurs. There is a knock on the door. "What's wrong?" the farmer asks. The Hindu holy man replies, "I, too, am grateful for your helping us out, but there is a cow in the barn. In my country cows are considered sacred and I can't sleep on holy ground!"

That left only the lawyer to make the change. He grumbled and complained, but went out to the barn. Moments later there was another knock on the farmer's door. Frustrated and tired, the farmer opens the door, and there stood the pig and the cow.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A young man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at McDonald's. He noticed that they had ordered one meal, and an extra drink cup. As he watched, the gentleman carefully divided the hamburger in half, then counted out the fries, one for him, one for her, until each had half of them. Then he poured half of the soft drink into the extra cup and set that in front of his wife. The old man then began to eat, and his wife sat watching, with her hands folded in her lap.

The young man decided to ask if they would allow him to purchase another meal for them so that they didn't have to split theirs.

The old gentleman said, "Oh no. We've been married 50 years, and everything has always been and will always be shared, 50/50."

The young man then asked the wife if she was going to eat, and she replied, "It's his turn with the teeth."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


A man is driving on a city bus with a newspaper on his knee. From time to time, he rips a piece off, ripping that piece into smaller ones and throwing them out the window. A passenger standing near him asks:
-Excuse me, why are you throwing pieces of paper out the window?
-I'm chasing away the elephants
-Chasing elephants? There aren't elephants in the city.
-Well that means it's working!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two priests died at the same time and met Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter said, "I'd like to get you guys in now, but our computer is down. You'll have to go back to Earth for about a week, but you can't go back as priests. So what else would you like to be?"
The first priest says, "I've always wanted to be an eagle, soaring above the Rocky Mountains."

"So be it," says St. Peter, and off flies the first priest.

The second priest mulls this over for a moment and asks, "Will any of this week 'count', St. Peter?"

"No, I told you the computer's down. There's no way we can keep track of what you're doing."

"In that case," says the second priest, "I've always wanted to be a stud."

"So be it" says St. Peter, and the second priest disappears.

A week goes by, the computer is fixed, and the Lord tells St. Peter to recall the two priests. "Will you have any trouble locating them?" He asks.

"The first one should be easy," says St. Peter. "He's somewhere over the Rockies, flying with the eagles. But the second one could prove to be more difficult."

"Why?" ask the Lord.

"He's on a snow tire, somewhere in North Dakota."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The girl was supposed to write a short story in as few words as possible
for her college class and the instructions were that it had to discuss Religion, Sexuality and Mystery.

She was the only one who received
an A+ and this is what she wrote:



Good God, I'm pregnant. I wonder who did it?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


An English tourist went to Texas, He got off the bus in Fort Worth, and asked, "Where's a good place to eat?" A man said, "Right down the road is a men's club." The man didn't realize they had a swimming pool, a work-out room, indoor squash, and racquetball. He just walked to the restaurant door and said to the waitress, "Lady, bring me a steak and a coke." The waitress brought out a mug that was 12 inches in diameter and 1 1/2 feet tall. The man said, "I just wanted a coke, not the whole factory!" She said, "Mister, this is Texas and everything's bigger in Texas." Soon she came back with his steak, and it hung over all sides of a huge Sizzling platter. He said, "Lady, I just wanted a steak, not the whole cow!" She said, "Mister, this is Texas, and everything's bigger in Texas." He finally finished his meal and asked the waitress, "Which way to the toilet?" She said, "It's down the hall, third door on the right." The man absentmindedly turned into the third door on the left and, with one step, fell into the swimming pool. "Help! Help!" he screamed. "Don't flush it!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One day, a diver was enjoying the aquatic world 20 feet below sea level. He noticed a guy at the same depth he was, with no scuba gear on whatsoever.

The diver went below another 10 feet, but the guy joined him a minute later. The diver went below 15 more feet, a minute later, the same guy joined him.

This confused the diver, so he took out a waterproof chalkboard, and wrote, "How the heck are you able to stay under this deep without equipment?"

The guy took the board and chalk, erased what the diver had written, and wrote, "I'm drowning, you moron!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everynboomie. welcome

I expected the day after yesterday to come earlier this week. headscratch

At least I hoped it would, but It's been a slow week. rolleyes


It's nothing to be unhappy about.


You know, I'm not happy because it's Friday. shame

and

I'm not happy because it's payday. shame

and

I'm not happy because I normally am a happy guy. grin

I'm not happy.............because it's not my day off. snicker

If you're confused now, then I am happy. thumbsup

Have a happy day everyone.

joe
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

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#906756 - 08/09/13 02:51 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
Haroula Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 7817
Loc: Greece
Good morning boomers :)have all a happy day.
birthdaySue wave
_________________________

Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.



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#906763 - 08/09/13 04:39 AM Re: TGIF [Re: Haroula]
cailyn Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 01/08/06
Posts: 6057
Loc: Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
Good morning Joe,Haroula wave Haroula thanks for the Birthday wishes! Coffee is ready I'm off to the gym,then the dogs to the groomers puppyEnjoy your Friday everyone yay
_________________________
I may not have gone where I intended to go,but I think I have ended up where I need to be.

Sue

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#906766 - 08/09/13 04:56 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 03/07/09
Posts: 5515
Loc: Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Have a great Friday Joe, Haroula, Cailyn and all who come in after me. wave

birthday Cailyn!

Okay, I'm off for another work whoosh. Have a great day, everyone. summer

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#906769 - 08/09/13 05:36 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 17314
Loc: Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe, Haroula, Sue, and venus. birthday Happy birthday to you Sue! birthday
Joe , Haroula and venus enjoy your day! Happy Day wished for All! wave
_________________________
Gerry

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#906775 - 08/09/13 05:53 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
GBC Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/06/07
Posts: 14567
Loc: Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers

Joe, hope you get a day off soon.

Haroula, good day!

Sue, we'll serve coffee to you this morning. birthday

Venus, enjoy your work today.

Gerry, have a great day!

Nothing on the agenda today. Happy gaming to all! happydance
_________________________
Gail

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#906781 - 08/09/13 06:17 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 17314
Loc: Marlborough USA
Good Morning GBC! I brought a Birthday cake for Sue too! Enjoy your day! wave
_________________________
Gerry

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#906784 - 08/09/13 07:02 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
connie Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 07/12/02
Posts: 8121
Loc: winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. Midge, positive thoughts and prayers on the way for all. hearts Sue, birthday. Birthday Cupcakes in the NC, to go with the Birthday Cake. To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful TGIF. Danish, BB Pancakes, and Muffins, in the NC. summer
_________________________
Connie

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#906791 - 08/09/13 08:43 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
MsMercury Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 02/08/06
Posts: 11740
Loc: Scotland
Hiya Boomers! Hope you are all well!

birthday Cailyn!

Had a lovely day out with my sister and Diana yesterday, did lunch then a wee shopping spree and back to sister's for coffee...didn't get home til 7pm, wonderful! Today will be a family day, all the kids and grandkids will be here, sooooo looking forward to it! happydance

Hugs to all who need one, and those who don't. kissy Have a great day guys!

Mary hearts
_________________________
"It's not what you have in your life
but who you have in your life that counts." puppy

I'm not getting old....just 'Marvelously Mature'! grin

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#906796 - 08/09/13 09:31 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
True Blue Boomer

Registered: 04/16/05
Posts: 21323
Loc: Usually up an Alabama Tree
Good morning everyone .. I've gotten an early start on the weekend today and looking forward to three days off with L4L and the gang .. yes, I have my weekend chores but hey, it's still the weekend and that's all that matters!!

Happy Birthday Sue .. wishing you the best today and more every tomorrow!

Have a wonderful TGIT Joe Haroula Venus Gerry Gail Connie MsMary and the rest of you when you're up and at em thumbsup

L4L hearts

wave
_________________________
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games

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#906807 - 08/09/13 10:04 AM Re: TGIF [Re: soot]
Darlene Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/10/00
Posts: 9404
Loc: Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers and hope your TGIF is terrific!

birthday cailyn!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies! It's the weekend!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!
_________________________
You become what you think about. Change your thoughts, change your life. - Dko

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#906808 - 08/09/13 10:04 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Online   happy
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 65236
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Hi Ho, Hi ho...it's off to play in the woods with my daughter Sam at Starved Rock. Scared to death of contributing to my already rash covered body and wearing long pants on this beautiful day. <sigh>

Have a happy day everyone!
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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#906811 - 08/09/13 10:08 AM Re: TGIF [Re: soot]
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 30063
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
Good morning everyone. wave

I'm very tired, but happy because I'm one day closer to "a" day off. bravo

It's cloudy here and a chance for rain, but the radar doesn't show any close to us. smirk

Since I have to close tonight, I need to run to Walmart now and stock up on some things.

I work 1:00 to 10:00, and then get home after 10:00, shower, get to bed, and get up at 4:30 to be at work at 6:00am tomorrow morning. tired

UGH! slapforehead

I hope you all have a splendid day. rah

joe
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

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#906822 - 08/09/13 11:37 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Online   content
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 42383
Loc: Alabama
Fantastic Friday ya'll puppy

We've had a quiet morning. I've been browsing cookbooks. Now time to feed dogs and go buy a new kitchen faucet. That will be followed by bill paying which itself will be followed with a Keoki vet visit. So, today is going to be a busy one.

Ya'll be good and have fun. wave
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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#906829 - 08/09/13 12:10 PM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
Midge Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 04/30/00
Posts: 14681
Loc: Massachusetts
Hi all. I'm home from work and now I have the rest of the day free. It's pouring out there so I'm just gonna find a great movie or read. I hope you're all having a good day.

Midgie hearts
_________________________
Just do it.

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#906834 - 08/09/13 12:41 PM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/10/06
Posts: 13696
Loc: northern Wisconsin
Joe that don't seem fair to have to close today and open tomorrow. HUGS! May today fly and go well. Thanks for the chuckles.

Haroula have a lovely day!

Cailyn.... birthday Have a wonderful day!!!!

Gerry have a lovely day!

Gail happy gaming!!!

venus may work fly and go well.

Connie have a lovely day and thanks for the danish!!

Mary sounds like a lovely day yesterday and also today, enjoy!!!

Soot enjoy the time off and hope the chores are esay peasy!!!

Darlene may work fly and all go smoothly!! Have a lovely day!

Ana enjoy your hike with Sam!!! Hope the long pants don't affect the rash much!! HUGS!

L4l sounds like you have a full day!! Good luck at the kVet and may you find the fawcet you want and the installation be a breeze!!!

Midge happy reading or watching!! Enjoy the rest of your day!

Today is my sisters birthday!!!! Will have a party at the place we all hang out at on Fridays when the taxi makes it's run!@ Should be fun, fun, fun!!!

wave
Nan

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#906844 - 08/09/13 02:18 PM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Online   content
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 42383
Loc: Alabama
Back from Lowe's. Ordered 2 bathroom faucets and bought a touch faucet for the kitchen. Then hit Burger King for the first time in months and months. Boy those french fries were great. We sat in a very high booth, so even hubby couldn't touch the floor. lol

We had more errands to do but some storms rolled in and I didn't want to leave Keoki alone so we zapped on back.

Hubby's first words as he looked at the faucet installation instruction was "Uh oh, no ice maker." If that is so, then that faucet will have to go back. I need ice for the smoothies.

We will be leaving in 30 minutes to take Keoki for his K-laser treatment and an ear check. I'm hoping to get to the bills today, but have to be home for more than 30 minutes lol

Nan, birthday to your sister. wave
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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#906858 - 08/09/13 04:29 PM Re: TGIF [Re: looney4labs]
Drmojo Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 12/04/04
Posts: 1798
Loc: Washington In the Wet corner
Hey ya Boom Boom Buddies

Hot here again today cool
got my shoulder xrayed showed
arthritis has gotten worse and the
rotatar cup is getting bad great!
and my Ins. says I don't quilify for
a light weight wheelchair! mad

have a good day Boomers happydance

Mojo says HI! wave he's standing here
with his head in the doorway
visiting me snicker


Karen
_________________________
OSO live
OSO Love
++OSO Strong++



Peace be with you~

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#906859 - 08/09/13 04:30 PM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/10/06
Posts: 13696
Loc: northern Wisconsin
Time to be off with the taxi!! Have a wonderful rest of the day all!!!

wave
Nan

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#906862 - 08/09/13 04:36 PM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
Space Quest Fan Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/17/01
Posts: 9582
Loc: Columbus,Ohio USA
Welcome to the weekend Boomers. happydance
_________________________
It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.

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#906864 - 08/09/13 04:36 PM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
Haroula Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 7817
Loc: Greece
sleep wave
_________________________

Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.



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#906878 - 08/09/13 05:18 PM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Online   content
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 42383
Loc: Alabama
Back from vet visit. Keoki is doing well. It will be a long and slow slog, but we will get there.

Hubby had to go back to the store to get some adapters so we can continue to have both the dishwasher and the icemaker.

I am uber super sleepy, so I'm going to carry Keoki up to bed and cuddle with him for bit.

Doc, sorry your insurance is not be sensible. Tell Mojo I said "hi there."

Nan, be safe. Have fun!

Space wave
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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#906888 - 08/09/13 06:45 PM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 7290
Loc: San Diego, CA
Ah L4L, I was just about to suggest a 'tapper' for your icemaker. My plumber brought a little pointed screw thingy that you just attached to any water pipe, and then turned the handle and the pointy end 'tapped' into the pipe and sealed it at the same time so the icemaker line could be attached. Don't know what it's called but I'm sure a plumber or someone at the hardware store would know. Worked great for me when I thought nothing would work.

Uneasy calm around here. Don't know what's about to happen, but I 'feel' something is. Hope it's nothing bad. Get these feelings sometimes and am usually right. I'm calling my neighbor now to see if she feels the same way. WE both tend to think alike when things like this surface. Weird, but true.
_________________________
WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.

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#906906 - 08/09/13 09:20 PM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
True Blue Boomer

Registered: 04/16/05
Posts: 21323
Loc: Usually up an Alabama Tree
The rest of the story...

Hello all! What a great day! Shopping and hanging out with L4L .. exploring the boundaries of new faucet installation; didn't get far there as could not turn off the water to the house to install a new water control handle under the sink that can handle a water line and a line to the icemaker in the fridge; hmmm, I wonder if I am trying to turn the wrong doofer think I broke two spanner wrenches trying to turn it rotfl

First and ten lets try it again when the sun's up!

In the meantime it's time for my whale music, some gardening and book reading!

Wishing you all a relaxing evening...

wave
_________________________
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games

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#906908 - 08/09/13 09:27 PM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
Midge Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 04/30/00
Posts: 14681
Loc: Massachusetts
Thanks Soot. It is a relaxing evening for me. Enjoy the rest of the night. I'll see you all in the AM.

Night all.
Midgie hearts
_________________________
Just do it.

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#906926 - 08/09/13 11:00 PM Re: TGIF [Re: Midge]
Space Quest Fan Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/17/01
Posts: 9582
Loc: Columbus,Ohio USA
Good night Boomers. sleep
_________________________
It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.

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#906945 - 08/10/13 01:11 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/10/06
Posts: 13696
Loc: northern Wisconsin
All are safely home and the car parked for the night. Had a great time!! Almost all that is left of my family was there. AND I found out that my youngest granddaughter is back and in town. happydance She had run away to Atlanta.

Time to find my pillow. Night everybody sleep well and pleasant dreams!!

sleep
Nan

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