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#908028 - 08/15/13 07:53 PM TGIF
gymcandy1 Online   happy
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 29996
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
Why do we have to wait for special moments to say nice things or tell people we care about them?
Randy K. Milholland, Something Positive Comic
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Father came home from a long business trip to find his young son riding a brand new bike.

"Where did you get the money for that?" he asked. "It must have cost over 300 dollars!"

"I earned it hiking," replied the boy.

"Hiking??? Come on son, tell your Dad the truth. Nobody can make that sort of money hiking. Where did you Really get the cash from?"

"It's like I say, Dad. Every night when you were gone, Mr Johnson from the bank would come over to see Mom. He'd give me a 20 dollar bill and tell me to take a hike"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Eleven women were clinging precariously to a wildly
swinging rope suspended from a crumbling outcropping
on Mount Everest. Ten were blonde, one was a brunette.

As a group they decided that one of the party should let go.
If that didn't happen the rope would break and everyone would perish.

For an agonizing few moments no one volunteered.

Finally the brunette gave a truly touching speech saying she would
sacrifice herself to save the lives of the others.
All the blondes applauded.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A fellow finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St. Peter explains that its not so easy to get in heaven. There are some criteria before entry is allowed.

For example, was the man religious in life? Attend church? No? St. Peter told him that's bad.

Was he generous? give money to the poor? Charities? No? St. Peter told him that that too was bad.

Did he do any good deeds? Help his neighbor? Anything? No? St. Peter was becoming concerned.

Exasperated, Peter says, "Look, everybody does something nice sometime. Work with me, I'm trying to help. Now think!"

The man says, "There was this old lady. I came out of a store and found her surrounded by a dozen Hell's Angels. They had taken her purse and were shoving her around, taunting and abusing her.

I got so mad I threw my bags down, fought through the crowd, and got her purse back. I then helped her to her feet. I then went up to the biggest, baddest biker and told him how despicable, cowardly and mean he was and then spat in his face".

"Wow", said Peter, "That's impressive. When did this happen"?

"Oh, about 10 minutes ago", replied the man.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Drinking Problem Signs

45 Don't recognize wife unless seen
through bottom of bottle.
46 You drink to get over a hangover.
47 That damned pink elephant followed me
home again.
48 You are the proud owner of a porcelain
bus driver's liscense.
49 The Whisky Ain't Working Anymore.
50 Senators Kennedy and Packwood shake
their heads when they walk past you.
51 You have a reserved parking space at
the A&P.
52 I'm as jober as a sudge!
53 You consider yourself a workaholic,
becuase every time you go to work, you
want to have a beer!
54 I slept with that damned pink elephant
again.
55 Mosquitoes spiral down to the ground
in circles after biting you.
56 Newt Gingrich.... he's soooo sexy.
57 You find yourself in a room on a train
arriving in Tiajuana and the last thing
you remember is being in a bar in NYC!
58 Your name is Ted Kennedy.
59 You wake up in Korea in August and the
last thing you remember is the Fourth of
July party in Waikiki.
60 Red dog upside down looks like batman
eating a catwoman.
61 You've fallen and you can't/(don't
want to) get up.
62 You don't drink. (That's a problem!)
63 When hangovers become an attractive
alternative lifestyle.
64 BeerTender! Get me another Bar!
65 Boris Yeltsin tries to get you to join
AA.
66 The shrubbery's drunk from frequent
watering.
67 Do you take this woman..
68 You wake up too groggy to come up with
anything funny for this [blip] list.
69 You realize you have shaved your head
except for a little rat tail hanging
from the top and you're pestering people
to buy incense & [blip].
70 Your only friends are Jack, Johnnie,
and Jose.
71 Double vision so much the norm, you
can't function w/o it.
72 You listen to the radio and start
dancing to hootie and the blowfish.
73 Because you're not as think you are
drunk I am...
74 salt, sugar, grease, carbohydrates -
yes, alcohol is the fifth food group.
75 Your favorite drink is ethanol.
76 Why does everybody think I have a
prinking droblem?!
77 You can't remember what your family
looks like... or if you have a family.
78 You wake up surrounded by 50 dented
cases of SPAM.
79 You like SPAM.
80 You get defensive when someone asks if
you have drinking problem.
81 Haven't stopped drinking since Carter
got elected.
82 I don't have a drinking prob.. pleb..
prub..hic Pash me another, tarbender.
83 You spend a whole night holding up
walls to prevent their (your) collapse.
84 The opposite wall is covered with
ceiling tiles and there are rows of light
fixtures.
85 When you feel drunk is feeling
sophisticated when you can't say it.
86 When you feel that beauty lies in the
hands of the beer holder.
87 When you read about the evils of
drinking, and give up reading.
88 When you feel reality is an illusion
that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


While attending a convention, three psychiatrists take a walk.

"People are always coming to us with their guilt and fears," one says, "but we have no one to go to with our own problems."

"Since we're all professionals," another suggests, "why don't we hear each other out right now?"
They agreed this is a good idea. The first psychiatrist confesses, "I'm a compulsive shopper and deeply in debt, so I usually overbill my patients as often as I can."

The second admits, "I have a drug problem that's out of control, and I frequently pressure my patients into buying illegal drugs for me."

The third psychiatrist says, "I know it's wrong, but no matter how hard I try, I just can't keep a secret."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie. welcome

My schedule has been changed due to the fact that my department manager's step-father passed away, so I've been asked to open today (Friday). duh

I think most of it will be overtime.

I'm getting this posted now of course, so I can hit the crib ASAP. pacify

There'll be no gaming tonight...... sad

Gotta have my beauty rest. summer



I found out yesterday that we bonused this quarter at work, AND, it was the maximum bonus to boot. That will mean an extra $700 or more in my paycheck, whenever it comes in a week or two. penguin

Of course after taxes it won't be quite that much, but it'll still be a good chunk. smirk

To celebrate, I'm going to buy my sister something she can ride.




A catapult.......... dance



Have a happy day everyone.

joe




Edited by gymcandy1 (08/15/13 08:00 PM)
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

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#908036 - 08/15/13 08:57 PM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 42210
Loc: Alabama
Congratulations Joe bravo
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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#908040 - 08/15/13 09:10 PM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 64760
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
woot Joe! That is awesome!! yay

L4L wave

Today will be another day like the rest this week. Work, then running hills down by the river with the dogs, work, bike ride after dinner with a stop at the playground to play on the monkey bars and do pull ups, and then back to work. I'm going stir crazy. rotfl

Happy Friday everyone!

Ana wave
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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#908064 - 08/16/13 01:05 AM Re: TGIF [Re: BrownEyedTigre]
manxman Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/23/02
Posts: 14947
Loc: Unionville
Good morning Joe, L4L, Ana and all boomers to follow. wave
Hope everyone has a fantastic friday smile
_________________________
Sometimes lost is where you need to be. Just because you don't know your direction doesn't mean you don't have one.

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#908069 - 08/16/13 02:42 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
Haroula Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 7617
Loc: Greece
Good morning Joe, L4L, Ana, Manxman and all who come in later. wave
Have all a great day. dance
_________________________

Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.



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#908076 - 08/16/13 03:55 AM Re: TGIF [Re: Haroula]
cailyn Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 01/08/06
Posts: 6033
Loc: Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
Good morning Joe,L4L,Ana,manxman,Haroula waveJoe congrats!Ana that surely is a full day for you! The coffee is on I'll keep it hot! Hi Gerry to you when you arrive waveHappy Friday to all yay
_________________________
I may not have gone where I intended to go,but I think I have ended up where I need to be.

Sue

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#908078 - 08/16/13 04:26 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 17045
Loc: Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe, L4L, Ana, manxman, Haroula and Cailyn. Joe congrats on the bonus. Ana that sure is a full day. I hope you get some down time this weekend. L4L nice to see you in the diner. Manxman have a great day. Haroula enjoy your day too. Cailyn thanks for the coffee. Is your weather been as beautiful as mine? happy day wished for all! wave
_________________________
Gerry

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#908081 - 08/16/13 04:48 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 03/07/09
Posts: 5377
Loc: Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Hello and goodbye. wave

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#908083 - 08/16/13 05:02 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 17045
Loc: Marlborough USA
Hi there venus. Hope your day is relaxing! cat
_________________________
Gerry

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#908085 - 08/16/13 05:44 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
GBC Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/06/07
Posts: 14354
Loc: Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers

Joe, congrats on the bonus! Thanks for the laughs. bravo

Ana, you are quite the busy lady. shocked

Manxman, good morning.

Haroula, have a great day!

Sue, coffee sounds great this morning.

Gerry, I love the cooler weather. penguin

Venus, happy workday!

Wishing everyone here and everyone to come a wonderful day! catrub
_________________________
Gail

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#908089 - 08/16/13 06:51 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
connie Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 07/12/02
Posts: 8035
Loc: winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. Congrats on the bonus, Joe. bravo To all here and all who follow, have a Great TGIF. Danish, Cinnamon Buns, and Waffles, in the NC. summer
_________________________
Connie

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#908109 - 08/16/13 09:29 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
flutist Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/17/01
Posts: 11383
Loc: Kirkwood, MO USA
Good morning y'all.

Starting the day with laundry then sometime today, I need to go over to the college and register for orchestra. Rehearsals start next Monday. Some of the public schools have started already. Seems awfully early to me.

Another beautiful day, a repeat of yesterday. Feels more like early fall. Wow, I won't complain.

Have a great and wonderful day everyone.

Bets
_________________________
Corgis fill your life with Joy, your heart with Love, and your soul with Sunshine.

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#908114 - 08/16/13 09:59 AM Re: TGIF [Re: flutist]
Darlene Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/10/00
Posts: 9340
Loc: Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers and congrats on the bonus! Woohoo and booyah! Have a great TGIF!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!
_________________________
You become what you think about. Change your thoughts, change your life. - Dko

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#908136 - 08/16/13 11:23 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
MsMercury Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 02/08/06
Posts: 11736
Loc: Scotland
Hiya Boomers, hope you are all keeping well!

Had a lovely day out yesterday with Diana and two of my sisters. Youngest sister doesn't keep good health so it was especially nice that she could join us. We did lunch (Chinese buffet), which we all enjoyed, then had a wee shopping spree! Got a couple of nice dressy tops to wear.

Today has been spent grocery shopping and replenishing cake stuff, ingredients and packaging. Glad that's over and done with for a while! I'll be busy from now up until the end of September cakewise, got a couple of challenging cakes coming up that I'm looking forward to tackling.

Will stop by whenever I can...have a great day guys!

Mary hearts
_________________________
"It's not what you have in your life
but who you have in your life that counts." puppy

I'm not getting old....just 'Marvelously Mature'! grin

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#908139 - 08/16/13 11:33 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/10/06
Posts: 13602
Loc: northern Wisconsin
Aw Joe sorry to hear about your managers step dad! Prayers for strength for him. Congrats on the bonus though. Thanks for the laughs and may work go well.

Manxman have a lovely day!

Ana I like your daily planner!! Enjoy and may the corner project move right along.

Haroula have a lovely day!

Cailyn thanks for the coffee! Have a lovely day!

Gerry have a lovely day!

venus may work be fun and time fly! Have a lovely day! How was babysitting???

Gail have a lovely day!

Connie thanks for the treats and have a lovely day! How far from Port Orange are you??

Wow Bets orchestra already??? Where has the time gone. lol Have a lovely day!

Darlene may work go smoothly today! Have a lovely day!

wave
Nan

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