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#908262 - 08/16/13 08:17 PM Saturday's
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 30063
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
That consciousness is everything and that all things begin with a thought. That we are responsible for our own fate, we reap what we sow, we get what we give, we pull in what we put out. I know these things for sure.
Madonna
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On his way out of church after mass, Frank stopped at the door to speak to the minister. Would it be right, he asked, for a person to profit from the mistakes of another?
Absolutely not! replied the pastor, disappointed that Frank would even ask such a question.
In that case, said the young man, I wonder if you???d consider returning the hundred dollars I paid you to marry my wife and me last July.
~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bad Tips from Martha Stewart:

Old telephone books make ideal personal address books. Simply cross out the names and addresses of people you
don't know.

Fool other drivers into thinking you have an expensive car phone by holding an old TV or video remote control up to your ear and occasionally swerving across the road and mounting the curb.

Avoid parking tickets by leaving your windshield wipers turned to fast wipe whenever you leave your car parked illegally.

No time for a bath? Wrap yourself in masking tape and remove the dirt by simply peeling it off.

Apply red nail polish to your nails before clipping them. The red nails will be much easier to spot on your bathroom carpet. (Unless you have a red carpet, in which case a contrasting polish should be selected.)

If a person is choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a jug of boiling water down their throat and presto! The blockage is almost instantly removed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The phone rings at FBI headquarters. "Hello?"

"Hello, is this FBI?"

"Yes. What do you want?"

"I'm calling to report my neighbor Tom. He is hiding marijuana in his firewood."

"This will be noted."

Next day, the FBI comes over to Tom's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept, break every piece of wood, find no marijuana, swear at Tom and leave.

The phone rings at Tom's house. "Hey, Tom! Did the FBI come?" "Yeah!" "Did they chop your firewood?" "Yeah they did." "Okay, now it's your turn to call. I need my garden plowed."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A blonde wanted to go ice fishing. She'd seen
many books on the subject, and finally, after
getting all the necessary "tools" together,
she made for the nearest frozen body of water.

After positioning her comfy footstool, she
started to make a circular cut in the ice.

Suddenly, from the sky, a voice boomed, "THERE
ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"

Startled, the blonde moved further down the ice,
poured a Thermos of cappuccino. And began to cut
yet another hole.

Again, from the heavens, the voice bellowed,
"THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"

The Blonde, now quite worried, moved way down to
the opposite end of the ice, set up her stool,
and tried again to cut her hole.

The voice came once more. "THERE ARE NO FISH
UNDER THE ICE!" She stopped, looked skyward,
and said, "Is that you, Lord?"

The voice replied, "No...this is the manager
of the hockey rink..."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two foreign nuns have just arrived in the USA by boat and one says to the
other, "I hear that the people of this country actually eat dogs."

"Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live in America, we might as
well do as the Americans do."

Nodding emphatically, the Mother Superior points to a hot dog vendor and
they both walk towards the cart.

"Two dogs, please," she says.

The vendor is only too pleased to oblige and he wraps both hot dogs in foil
and hands them over the counter. Excited, the nuns hurry over to a bench
and begin to unwrap their "dogs."

The Mother Superior is first to open hers. She begins to blush and then,
staring at it for a moment, leans over to the other nun and whispers
cautiously, "What part did you get?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~

Things people actually said in court, word for word:
Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.

Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

Q: This myasthenia gravis-does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?

Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.

Q: How old is your son-the one living with you?
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.

Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?
A: He said, "where am I Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.

Q: And where was the location of the accident?
A: Approximately milepost 499.
Q: And where is milepost 499?
A: Probably between milepost 498 and 500.

Q: Sir, what is your IQ?
A: Well I can see pretty well I think.

Q: Did you blow your horn or anything?
A: After the accident?
Q: Before the accident.
A: Sure, I played horn for ten years. I even went to school for it.

Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in the voodoo occult?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.
Q: You do?
A: Yes, voodoo.

Q: Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing?
A: Yes.
Q: Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car?
A: Yes sir.
Q: What did she say?
A: What disco am I at?

Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?

Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?

Q: Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?

Q: Did he kill you?

Q: How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?

Q: You were there until the time you left, is that true?

Q: How many times have you committed suicide?

Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?

Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?

Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
A: Yes.
Q: And these stairs, do they go up also?

Q: Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?
A: I went to Europe, sir.
Q: And you took your new wife?

Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male or a female?

Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie. welcome

This is your daily diner host speaking in my usual semi-conscious state. tired

It's a temporary condition though. yes

I plan on being totally unconscious as soon as possible. sleep

Tomorrow I'm up at 4:30. HEY! I get to sleep in. bravo

Since I only had a half a day off, I'll probably only give half effort at work. think

Wait just a minute! Why should I increase my productivity when I only had a half day off?? headscratch

That's twice as much work as I usually do. lol

Y'all have a happy day, K?

joe
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

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#908264 - 08/16/13 08:57 PM Re: Saturday's [Re: gymcandy1]
Space Quest Fan Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/17/01
Posts: 9579
Loc: Columbus,Ohio USA
Have a great day Joe. happydance
_________________________
It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.

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#908269 - 08/16/13 09:08 PM Re: Saturday's [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 65226
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
lol Thanks for the chuckles Joe! I had to laugh because I just finished reading the Martha Stewart tips when they announced to stay tuned for more Martha Stewart tips on the news at ten. rotfl Eerie! Have a wonderful day...

SpaceQ, have a happy day!

Welcome to the weekend everyone. It's a repeat of yesterday for me. Maybe if I see a light at the end of the tunnel I can go for a long bike ride on Sunday.

Ana wave
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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#908275 - 08/16/13 09:36 PM Re: Saturday's [Re: gymcandy1]
Midge Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 04/30/00
Posts: 14681
Loc: Massachusetts
Thanks Joe for your openers. Hi SQFan and Ana. kissy I'm off to bed now. See you on the flip side.

Midgie hearts
_________________________
Just do it.

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#908279 - 08/16/13 09:55 PM Re: Saturday's [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 65226
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Hope you feel better today Midgie. hearts
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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#908282 - 08/16/13 10:45 PM Re: Saturday's [Re: gymcandy1]
Midge Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 04/30/00
Posts: 14681
Loc: Massachusetts
Thanks Ana. How are your puppies doing?
_________________________
Just do it.

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#908283 - 08/16/13 10:50 PM Re: Saturday's [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 65226
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
They are happy and content Midgie. They have been swimming and running daily so their lives are complete. puppy
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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#908289 - 08/17/13 12:44 AM Re: Saturday's [Re: BrownEyedTigre]
Drmojo Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 12/04/04
Posts: 1798
Loc: Washington In the Wet corner
Hey Boom Boom Buddies

Hi ya Joe great jokes snicker
have a good day~

Hi Apace, Ana, and Midge wave
did you have a nice Birthday Midge?


my back is hurting bad today think it
might be my kidneys making it hurt? gonna lay down see if that helps? might be
its gonna rain too grin


Have a nice day Boomers~ Karen puppy cat
_________________________
OSO live
OSO Love
++OSO Strong++



Peace be with you~

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#908292 - 08/17/13 01:42 AM Re: Saturday's [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 65226
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
woot I saw the light!! I have weekend off!

Doc, I hope you can sleep it off and it isn't your kidneys. hearts
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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#908295 - 08/17/13 02:31 AM Re: Saturday's [Re: gymcandy1]
Haroula Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 7817
Loc: Greece
Good morning everyone,have all a nice day. smile wave
_________________________

Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.



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#908301 - 08/17/13 04:51 AM Re: Saturday's [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 17308
Loc: Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe, SpaceQ, Ana, Midge, and Haroula. Cailyn coffee is ready. Joe half day of work is not bad. SpaceQ enjoy the day. Ana I hope you get to take that long bike ride! That would be so relaxing! Midge I hope you feel better. Haroula have a nice day. Karen sending you some healing thoughts. Take Care. Wishing everyone a relaxing day! summer
_________________________
Gerry

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#908315 - 08/17/13 07:18 AM Re: Saturday's [Re: gymcandy1]
connie Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 07/12/02
Posts: 8119
Loc: winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. Karen and Midge, I hope you are both feeling better today. Ana, enjoy your weekend out of the corner. Nan, we're about 65 to 70 miles from Port Orange. We are in the Central part of the state. L4L, it's not any cooler here yet. To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful Saturday. Danish, Bacon Sandwiches, Muffins, and Omelets, in the NC. summer
_________________________
Connie

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#908318 - 08/17/13 08:00 AM Re: Saturday's [Re: gymcandy1]
GBC Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/06/07
Posts: 14564
Loc: Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers

Joe, funny as usual.

Space, good morning.

Ana, enjoy your weekend off.

Midgie, hope you're well today.

Karen, hugs! Talk to you later.

Haroula, enjoy the day!

Gerry, enjoy the nice weather. I need coffee.

Connie, thanks for the Danish. How cool does your winter get?

Sue, I didn't drink all the coffee. I think there's a cup left for you.

Dog walking is planned for this morning then maybe some fun shopping later.
_________________________
Gail

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#908328 - 08/17/13 09:20 AM Re: Saturday's [Re: GBC]
Space Quest Fan Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/17/01
Posts: 9579
Loc: Columbus,Ohio USA
Good morning everyone. I'm starting the day with a walk so i'll see you all later. wave
_________________________
It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.

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#908340 - 08/17/13 10:47 AM Re: Saturday's [Re: Space Quest Fan]
Gimli Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 06/15/05
Posts: 2314
Loc: Switzerland
Hello and goodbye wave zombie

Such a busy week and it's not over yet....

Just wanted to say hello and how are you and I'am fine thank you and .... whooooosh....
See you tomorrow, hopefully.....

Happy day to all of you

Evelyne
_________________________
"You ask me what life is. That's like asking me what a carrot is. A carrot is a carrot is a carrot" (A. Chekhov)

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#908349 - 08/17/13 11:47 AM Re: Saturday's [Re: gymcandy1]
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 03/07/09
Posts: 5507
Loc: Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Hello and have a fantastic day Joe, Space Quest, Ana, Midge, Karen, Haroula, Gerry, Connie, Gail, Gimli and anyone who comes in after me. wave

It turns out I forgot to post earlier this morning. oops lol Nothing exciting planned today, maybe a game or two.

I had a bad day - well, news - at work yesterday, which didn't put me in the best mood. Apparently, that co-worker is still talking about me, and her misinterpretations have spread to most people who work there, including the managers. steamed So I'm going to have to get more aggressive and actually force people to look at what I've done every day, something I hate to do, something I shouldn't have to do. Apparently, she likes to talk about everyone who works there, so it's not unique to me, but it is effecting my job. It also makes going to work much more stressful than it should be every day.

So, anyway, for now, a game to decompress is in order. smile

Hope everyone here has a great Saturday. cat

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#908365 - 08/17/13 12:44 PM Re: Saturday's [Re: gymcandy1]
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/10/06
Posts: 13695
Loc: northern Wisconsin
Joe sorry you had to work half a day on your day off. May today fly and work go well. Thanks for the chuckles.

WooHoo Ana!!! Glad you see the light and now will have the weekend for some fun times!! Enjoy!!

Karen and Midge prayers that you both feel better today!! HUGS!!

Space have a lovely walk. It has been nice here for awhile for walking so I do mine long one in the early morning also!! Have a great day!

Gail have a nice walk with the dogs and enjoy the fun shopping. I already did both lol Have a lovely day!

Connie that's not too far away. I may have a chance to move there nexst year and just not sure yet if I want to do that. lol Decisions, decisions. Thanks for the danish and have a lovely day!

Aw venus that is too basd that she is doing that. HUGS! Prayers that the situation changes for you soonest!!

Evelyne you are busy, busy. Think you need a vacation to Italy. lol Or you could come over this way!! grin

Gerry thanks for the coffee. Have a lovely day!

Haroula have a lovely day!!

wave
Nan

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#908382 - 08/17/13 02:18 PM Re: Saturday's [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 42379
Loc: Alabama
Super Saturday ya'll puppy

Hubby woke me at nine. This is the first time since then that I've had a chance to come down and sit. Got up and cleaned up the kitchen, then make Cornmeal Waffles and Smoothies for breakfast. This was followed by feeding dogs and cleaning up the kitchen again.

Hubby is off delivering recycles to the pick up point. Soon as I post I will get myself ready to go to the park with Keoki for a wander walk. Then we will come home and swap dogs and go do a real walk. Then home to sit and not move til time to cook again. I think we are having chili or sloppy joes. I was going to make the buns for the joes but decided to use the sourdough bread instead.

It's only in the 80's out there which is unheard of for August happydance

Doc, I hope you feel better soonest.

Off to suit up.
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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#908395 - 08/17/13 03:55 PM Re: Saturday's [Re: gymcandy1]
Haroula Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 7817
Loc: Greece
sleep wave
_________________________

Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.



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#908397 - 08/17/13 04:19 PM Re: Saturday's [Re: gymcandy1]
3dobermans Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 10/01/05
Posts: 13199
Loc: Palouse country
Midge, Karen, certainly hope you start feeling better quickly.

Just a fiddling around day; can't find anything specific to focus on but it adds variety to life.

Have a great Sat. all.
_________________________
Reading is to the mind, what exercise is to the body - Joseph Addison

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#908400 - 08/17/13 04:41 PM Re: Saturday's [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 42379
Loc: Alabama
Night Haroula, sweet dreams sleep

Trippy, fiddling is a great way to spend the day as long as one doesn't have to pay the piper. puppy

Back from our walk. Incredibly, it is in the 70's out there...almost unheard of for this time of year.

Now I have an hour or so before I have to think about cooking dinner. We are drafting our fantasy football league tomorrow so also have to make some decisions about that....so must do some research first. wave
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

Top
#908417 - 08/17/13 05:59 PM Re: Saturday's [Re: looney4labs]
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 30063
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
Hey everybody. wave

My work day is done, and I've eaten, and decontaminated, and got my stuff ready for tomorrow's work day. thumbsup

Now.......it's chillin time. sherlock

Gotta do a little gaming now to get my daily fix. yay

I hope you're all having a great day. yes

joe
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

Top
#908419 - 08/17/13 06:13 PM Re: Saturday's [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 42379
Loc: Alabama
WhooWhoo Joe, welcome home wave
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

Top
#908420 - 08/17/13 06:14 PM Re: Saturday's [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 65226
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Good afternoon boomies! I was able to get out and get in a 40 mile bike ride. I'm a happy and tired girl now. Hubby rode 24 miles with me and then took the truck home and I rode home on my bike. We had taken the bikes on the rack to an area that was a bit easier for hubby. I had wind in my face the entire ride home and I nearly cried uncle for him to come back and get me. lol

Are we having fun yet?
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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#908421 - 08/17/13 06:15 PM Re: Saturday's [Re: looney4labs]
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 30063
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
Howdy L4L. wave

It's mighty good to be home, especially for my feet. happydance

joe

Ana you sneeked in on me. wink wave


Edited by gymcandy1 (08/17/13 06:16 PM)
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

Top
#908427 - 08/17/13 07:18 PM Re: Saturday's [Re: gymcandy1]
3dobermans Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 10/01/05
Posts: 13199
Loc: Palouse country
Ana, you're not the little engine that could, you're the little engine that did.

L4L, I looked for the piper but couldn't find him...
_________________________
Reading is to the mind, what exercise is to the body - Joseph Addison

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#908431 - 08/17/13 08:15 PM Re: Saturday's [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 65226
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
lol I am now fed and ready for a nap.

Joe, put your feet up, Pepper on your shoulder and Baby on your lap and life is good. puppy

Trippy, is it still warm by you? I like a day with no "have to's". It means you are free to wander and enjoy the little things.

Ana wave
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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#908432 - 08/17/13 08:51 PM Re: Saturday's [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 42379
Loc: Alabama
Ana,you are amazing thumbsup

We are dinnered, dogs are fed, kitchen is cleaned. I am heading up to lie in the bed with Keoki. He is not walking on his booboo leg sad I'm gonna read my pile of newspapers.

Sweet dreams all sleep
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

Top
#908436 - 08/17/13 10:20 PM Re: Saturday's [Re: gymcandy1]
3dobermans Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 10/01/05
Posts: 13199
Loc: Palouse country
Night to those off to bed. Sleep well

Ana, still very warm; upper 80'-low 90's.
_________________________
Reading is to the mind, what exercise is to the body - Joseph Addison

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#908438 - 08/17/13 10:48 PM Re: Saturday's [Re: gymcandy1]
Midge Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 04/30/00
Posts: 14681
Loc: Massachusetts
Well, this body is very tired tonight. I worked late and just got home. The Blisses had company. Has anybody seen my pillow? Looking....... Ana I am so proud of you. What a ride. Will you be sore in the morning? I bet not. smile Hey Trippy wave Midge of Ett here. smile Miss you partner.

I need to find that pillow I was talking about. See you early.

Midgie sleep
_________________________
Just do it.

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#908443 - 08/17/13 11:38 PM Re: Saturday's [Re: Midge]
Space Quest Fan Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/17/01
Posts: 9579
Loc: Columbus,Ohio USA
Good night Boomers. sleep
_________________________
It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.

Top
#908445 - 08/17/13 11:47 PM Re: Saturday's [Re: gymcandy1]
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/10/06
Posts: 13695
Loc: northern Wisconsin
Night everybody sleep well and pleasant dreams!!

sleep
Nan

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#908447 - 08/18/13 12:22 AM Re: Saturday's [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 65226
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Sweet dreams everyone....

Ana wave
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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