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#910607 - 08/28/13 08:27 PM Thrilling Thumping Thursday's
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 30035
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
Nothing astonishes men so much as common sense and plain dealing.
Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882), 'Art,' 1841
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Three doctors are waiting in line to get into the pearly gates. St. Peter
walks out and asks the first one, "What have you done to enter Heaven?"

"I am a pediatrician and have brought thousands of the Lord's babies into
the world."

"Good enough to enter the gates," replied St. Peter and in he goes. The
same question is asked of the second doctor.

"I am a general practitioner and go to Third World countries three times a
year to cure the poor." St. Peter is impressed and allows him through the
gates. The third doctor steps up in line and knowing the question, blurts
out, "I am a director of a HMO."

St. Peter meditates on this for a while and then says, "Fine, you can enter
Heaven...but only for 2 days."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bumper Stickers
Ever stop to think...and forget to start again?

I are proud to be a college student

Conserve toilet paper...use both sides

Don't come knockin' if the car is a rockin'

99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name

A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain

Keep honking...I'm reloading

Don't steal....the government hates competition

I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar

I want to die peacefully, in my sleep, like my grandfather,
not screaming and yelling like his passengers!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Two medical students were walking along the street when they saw an old man walking with his legs spread apart.

One of the students said to his friend:"I'm sure he has Petry Syndrome - those people walk just like that."

The other student says: "No, I don't think so. The old man surely has Zovitzki Syndrome, he walks just like we learned in class."

Since they couldn't agree they decided to ask the old man. They approached the old man and one of the students said to him: "We're medical students and couldn't ignore the way you walk, but we couldn't agree on the syndrome you might have. Could you tell us what it is?"

The old man said: "I'll tell you but first you'll tell me what you think."

Then one of the students said: "I think it's Petry Syndrome."

And the old man said: "you thought, but you're wrong."

Then the other student said: "I think you have Zovitzki Syndrome."

And the old man said: "you thought, but you're wrong."

So they asked him: "so what do you have?"

And the old man said: "I thought I needed to pass gas. I thought, but was wrong."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Nellie, shopping at her local supermarket, selects a
quart of milk, a dozen eggs, a pound of bacon and a
quart of orange juice.

A drunk standing behind her, watches as she places
the items in front of the cashier.

He says to her..."you must be single."

The woman, startled but intrigued by the derelict's
intuition, looked at her four items on the belt.

Seeing nothing particularly unusual about her items,
she says..."well, you're correct, but how on earth did
you know that?"

The drunk staggers as he puts his beer in front of the
same cashier and says..."cause you're ugly!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


With Sam dying, his wife Carol was maintaining a candlelight
vigil by his side.

She held his fragile hand praying and crying, this roused him
from his slumber.

He looked up and his pale lips said..."my darling Carol."

"Hush, my love"...she said... "rest, don't talk."

In his tired voice..."I have something I must confess to you."

"There's nothing to confess"...replied the weeping Carol...
"everything is all right, just go to sleep."

"No"...he struggles..."I must die in peace, I have something to
tell you Carol...I cheated on you!"

"I know"...Carol whispered as she softly stroked his forehead...
"just be still and let the poison do it's job."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie. welcome

Well if it weren't for commercials, I don't think I'd ever get done.

Half past my bed time..............again.

Two more early days and then more FREEDOM!!!! devilchili

I had a subject in mind for a topic, but as I got involved in my TV program, it slipped my mind, so with that in mind, and before there's another slip, I'll have to wing it. headscratch

That whole sentence sounds almost like something my sister would say, only her's would be like......"He made me so mad I had half a mind to go in there and give him a piece of my mind." crazy

Sounds like she's done that already.

Several times. snicker

I've gotta quit doggin her like that. oops


think


Naaa. Not gonna happen. shame


Not in this lifetime.


I do worry though that bad karma from picking on my sister, my curse me to come back in my next life as something horrendous, like........my sister's mirror.

Such a life is not all it's cracked up to be.


argh!


Have a happy day everyone.

joe





_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

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#910634 - 08/29/13 12:28 AM Re: Thrilling Thumping Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 65022
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
lol Joe, you crack me up.

I hope the next two days pass quickly so you can enjoy your weekend. hearts

Have a happy day all...I'll be in the corner except for a run with the dogs.

Ana wave
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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#910641 - 08/29/13 03:39 AM Re: Thrilling Thumping Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1]
Haroula Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 7712
Loc: Greece
Good morning Joe,Ana and all. wave
Have a nice day. smile happydance
_________________________

Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.



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#910645 - 08/29/13 04:03 AM Re: Thrilling Thumping Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 17207
Loc: Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe, Ana and Haroula. Joe keep smiling. Ana enjoy your run with the pups. Haroula have a great day. Coffee is on. Happy Day wished for All! wave
_________________________
Gerry

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#910657 - 08/29/13 06:16 AM Re: Thrilling Thumping Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1]
GBC Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/06/07
Posts: 14474
Loc: Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers

Joe,

Ana, wishing you an easy corner day.

Haroula, Good day to you!

Gerry, coffee?? Yay!

To all who are here and all who are on their way I'm wishing a wonderful day! catrub
_________________________
Gail

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#910660 - 08/29/13 06:42 AM Re: Thrilling Thumping Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1]
connie Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 07/12/02
Posts: 8082
Loc: winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful Thursday. Danish, Cinnamon Buns, and Bacon Sandwiches in the NC. summer
_________________________
Connie

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#910681 - 08/29/13 08:43 AM Re: Thrilling Thumping Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1]
manxman Online   content
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 07/23/02
Posts: 15170
Loc: Unionville
Good morning all. Great jokes as usual Joe lol Hope everyone has a terrific thursday smile
_________________________
Sometimes lost is where you need to be. Just because you don't know your direction doesn't mean you don't have one.

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#910690 - 08/29/13 09:55 AM Re: Thrilling Thumping Thursday's [Re: manxman]
Darlene Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/10/00
Posts: 9372
Loc: Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! The weekend's almost here! Woohoo!!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!
_________________________
You become what you think about. Change your thoughts, change your life. - Dko

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#910708 - 08/29/13 11:14 AM Re: Thrilling Thumping Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1]
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/10/06
Posts: 13655
Loc: northern Wisconsin
Joe may the time fly till your freedom!! Thanks for the chuckles.

Ana may the corner be kind and have a lovely run with the dogs!!

Haroula, Gerry, Manxman have a lovely day!

Gail enjoy a walk with the dogs and have a lovely day!

Connie have fun doing what ever pops up for ya. Thanks for the danish!

Darlene may work fly and all go smoothly!! Have a lovely day!

My granddaughter and great-granddaughter are on the greyhound and should be home from Atlanta tonight!!!!!! happydance happydance I have missed them sooooo much!

wave
Nan

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#910715 - 08/29/13 11:46 AM Re: Thrilling Thumping Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1]
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 7244
Loc: San Diego, CA
Could use a few sympathy prayers for my neighbor, Jim. He called last night in a panic and distraught. He had just backed over one of his two kitties, the ones his son dumped on him not even a year ago because his new girlfriend didn't like cats. They were apartment raised from day one, and Jim made them outdoorsies. Guess it didn't go so well despite my 'coaching' about indoorsies becoming outdoorsies.

I rushed over and he was just saying, "I killed Juji, I killed Juji. Poor kitty didn't move when he was backing his car in for the night. Both kitties were way too friendly and trusting.

I consoled him a bit, checked to see if kitty was really dead (he was) he went quickly, thank goodness, but I'm worried about Jim since it's horrible to kill your own little pet. Poor guy. I will check on him today to see how he's doing.

Probably worse is explaining to his son what happened. Sigh. Terrible night for him. He was getting a shovel to scoop him into a bag (wasn't smashed) when I intervened and picked up the poor little thing and put him into the bag and petted him and said some comforting words. Jim never had cats and didn't know what they were like. Treated them more like dogs and expected them to follow orders. Oh well.

He will bury Jugi in the back yard today. Was too dark last night. There are several cats and dogs buried out there. Lots of animals through the years. I guess he will be fine after he gets over the grief and feelings of guilt. Sigh.

Now only the girl kitty remains. She's much more in my yard than the male was. She seems fine this morning. She will probably make friends with some of my ferals now I suppose. She's not wandering and meowing for her brother as of now so I think maybe it's gonna be OK.
_________________________
WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.

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#910724 - 08/29/13 12:20 PM Re: Thrilling Thumping Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1]
Lotus777 Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 03/12/06
Posts: 3270
Loc: Oregon
'Morning Boomers...Aww Sorta, that is soo sad...poor guy, I remember my Mum backed over my little brother's first dog..it really had her upset for awhile too. Have a great and happy reunion, Nan!! Hellos to you, Darlene, manxman, Connie, Gail, Gerry, Haroula, Ana and Joe. Here's wishing for you all a lovely day. Rained a bit in the night, first time in months anything measurable has fallen! Going shopping later but need to wait for a delivery....it was supposed to be here yesterday...so much for planning, lol. Have a great day to all who come here later and Happy Gaming everyone!! wave
_________________________
Lotus
Life is like a hot bath. It feels good while you’re in it, but the longer you stay in, the more wrinkled you get.

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#910726 - 08/29/13 12:26 PM Re: Thrilling Thumping Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 42303
Loc: Alabama
Thumping Good Thursday ya'll puppy

I slept in this morning and it felt great. Then up in time to smoothie son (but not hubby <sad>). Fed everyone and cleaned up the kitchen. Dishes are running now..thank God for dishwashers. Then came a series of phone calls. In fact, on hold now with cable company.

We switched our phone to them awhile back and it's not been a good experience. On the phone with them now. They are telling me "it's a problem, we know about it, we are trying to fix it." However, I will say, the customer service lady was very very nice.

Sorta, so sad about the kitty. So hard!

Back later wave
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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#910742 - 08/29/13 02:09 PM Re: Thrilling Thumping Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 65022
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
In the corner today, but I am about to go out for a run with my babies. I got wrapped up working and lost track of time.

I had a delightful sight this morning. I had a gorgeous hummingbird on one of my hanging planters this morning (first one I have seen in at least 4 years) and then he came to my window and had a stare down with a squirrel eating his peanuts on a chair I gave him under my window. It was awesome! The squirrel looked so scared like he had a drone in front of him ready to strike. rotfl It made me start my day with a smile.

I hope you all find something today to make you happy. hearts

Off I go....
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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#910743 - 08/29/13 02:19 PM Re: Thrilling Thumping Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 42303
Loc: Alabama
Have fun Ana. He sounds like my squirrel from my kitchen window. Hubby has been feeding the birds but usually, it's the squirrels. They sit there and chomp on the sunflower seeds and look so adorable doing it.
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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#910753 - 08/29/13 04:07 PM Re: Thrilling Thumping Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1]
Space Quest Fan Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/17/01
Posts: 9545
Loc: Columbus,Ohio USA
Good afternoon Boomers. wave
_________________________
It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.

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