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Monday #913890
09/15/13 11:40 PM
09/15/13 11:40 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.
Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each other outside the operating room.

The first kid leans over and asks, "What are you in here for?"

The second kid says, "I'm in here to get my tonsils out and I'm a little nervous."

The first kid says, "You've got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of Jell-O and ice cream. It's a breeze."

The second kid then asks, "What are you here for?"

The first kid says, "A circumcision."

"Whoa!" the second kid replies. "Good luck, buddy. I had that done when I was born. Couldn't walk for a year."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard. The little boy finds an earthworm trying to get back into its hole. He says, "Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole." The grandfather replies, "I'll bet you five dollars you can't. It's too wiggly and limp to put back in that little hole."

The little boy runs into the house and comes back out with a can of hairspray. He sprays the worm until it is straight and stiff as a board. Then he puts the worm back into the hole.

The grandfather hands the little boy five dollars, grabs the hairspray, and runs into the house. Thirty minutes later the grandfather comes back out and hands the little boy another five dollars. The little boy says,

"Grandpa, you already gave me five dollars."

The grandfather replies, "I know. That's from your grandma "
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bill and Bob, two children, were sitting outside a clinic. Bill happened to be crying very loudly.

"Why are you crying?" Bob asked.

"I came here for a blood test," sobbed Bill.

"So? Are you afraid?"

"No. For the blood test, they cut my finger.

As Bob heard this, he immediately began crying profusely.

Astonished, Bill stopped his tears and asked Bob, "Why are you crying now?"

To which Bob replied, "I came for a urine test!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served. When little Logan received his plate, he started eating right away.

"Logan, wait until we say our prayer," his mother reminded him.

"I don't have to," the little boy replied.

"Of course you do," his mother insisted, "we say a prayer before eating at our house."

"That's at our house," Logan explained, "but this is Grandma's house and she knows how to cook."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Little Johnny was starting his first day at a new school and his father called the teacher to tell her that little Johnny was a big gambler. She said that it was no problem and she has seen worse than that.

After Little Johnny's first day at his new school his father called the teacher to see how it went. She said, I think I broke his gambling. The father asked how and she said, He bet me $5.00 that I had a mole on my butt, so I pulled down my pants and won his money.

DANG!! said the father.
What's wrong, the teacher asked.

Little Johnny's father said, This morning he bet me $100.00 he would see his teacher's butt before the day was over!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A little girl asked her mother, "How did the human race come about?"

The Mother answered, "God made Adam and Eve; they had children and, so all mankind was made."

A few days later, the little girl asked her father the same question. The father answered, "Many years ago there were monkeys, and we developed from them."

The confused girl returns to her mother and says, "Mom, how is it possible that you told me that the human race was created by God , and Papa says we developed from monkeys?"

The Mother answers, "Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about the origin of my side of the family, and your father told you about his side."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie. welcome

Are you ready for a new day? happydance

I don't mean to toot my own horn, but I was born ready.

My first day was a little shakey, I mean with the slap on the butt, the circumcision and everything.

I tried to go back into my "man cave", but I couldn't find the opening . A mate in neonatal told me that the second day would be a total breeze compared to the first, and that I would absolutely love how they served my meals to me, so you can believe me when I say I was pulenty ready for my first day to be over with. pacify

On a lighter note, that slap on the butt trick came in real handy when my sister was born. After they brought her home from the hospital she kept forgetting to breath.

Sometimes she had her diaper on, so I had to slap her face instead of her butt. Couldn't tell the difference anyway.

Actually most of the time she had a diaper on. oops

I always loved that look of shock on her face before it turned beet red, and looked like her head would explode.



I still enjoy it today.


The memory that is.


Have a happy day everyone.

joe



Last edited by gymcandy1; 09/16/13 12:26 AM.

There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Monday [Re: gymcandy1] #913899
09/16/13 02:28 AM
09/16/13 02:28 AM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Haroula Offline
Adept Boomer
Haroula  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Good morning Joe and all. wave
Have a nice Monday. happydance smile


I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".

Re: Monday [Re: Haroula] #913904
09/16/13 04:02 AM
09/16/13 04:02 AM
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 6,145
Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
cailyn Offline
BAAG Specialist
cailyn  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 6,145
Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
Good morning Joe,Haroula,and all Boomers wave Wishing you all a happy day! Coffee is ready puppy


I may not have gone where I intended to go,but I think I have ended up where I need to be.

Sue
Re: Monday [Re: gymcandy1] #913906
09/16/13 04:44 AM
09/16/13 04:44 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe, Haroula and Cailyn and everyone on the way to the diner. I hope the sun shines on your Monday! summer


Gerry
Re: Monday [Re: gymcandy1] #913919
09/16/13 06:59 AM
09/16/13 06:59 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
Joe, does your sister read your posts? lol

Haroula, good day is wished.

Sue, coffee pleeeease!

Gerry, hope your day is good.

Wishing everyone a wonderful Monday! yay


Gail
Re: Monday [Re: gymcandy1] #913920
09/16/13 07:11 AM
09/16/13 07:11 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. Not sure what's on the agenda for today yet. To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful start to the new week. Danish, Cinnamon Apple Pancakes, and Sausage Biscuits in the NC. Biscuit bottoms for L4L. summer


Connie
Re: Monday [Re: gymcandy1] #913925
09/16/13 08:27 AM
09/16/13 08:27 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 29,026
Unionville
manxman Offline
Sonic Boomer
manxman  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 29,026
Unionville
Great jokes as usual Joe rotfl Hope everyone has a super start to the week wave


Sometimes lost is where you need to be. Just because you don't know your direction doesn't mean you don't have one.
Re: Monday [Re: gymcandy1] #913932
09/16/13 09:16 AM
09/16/13 09:16 AM
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Midge Offline
Graduate Boomer
Midge  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Good morning. I have the morning off so I plan to do some serious cleaning of my apartment. Looks like rain, bit chilly. Oh well, I'm not going anywhere til later on. I hope you all have a good day today. Thanks Joe for opening the diner for us. I wonder where Ana is..... Please don't forget to exercise today. smile

Midgie hearts


Just do it.
Re: Monday [Re: gymcandy1] #913943
09/16/13 10:00 AM
09/16/13 10:00 AM
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 11,505
Kirkwood, MO USA
flutist Offline
Adept Boomer
flutist  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 11,505
Kirkwood, MO USA
Good morning everyone.

Went to Susie and Vince's for dinner last night. Susie is doing better. Hope it continues.

Took Cory for his morning walk and it was sweater weather out there. Cloudy and cool. Orchestra tonight. Not going any place today. Car is still in the shop. Hope they get the parts in today so I can have it back tomorrow. Do have to get my treadmill in.

Have a happy day everyone.

Bets


Corgis fill your life with Joy, your heart with Love, and your soul with Sunshine.
Re: Monday [Re: Midge] #913944
09/16/13 10:02 AM
09/16/13 10:02 AM
Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
Darlene Offline
Adept Boomer
Darlene  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers and hope your Monday is mahvelous!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!


Woohoo and booyah! smile Have an easy peasy day!
Re: Monday [Re: gymcandy1] #913958
09/16/13 11:03 AM
09/16/13 11:03 AM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer
auntiegram  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
Lake Superior this morning!! It was only 32 and the temp of the water is much warmer so it created a wave of fog. lol Had to put the long pants on this morning for our walk and a jacket to top it off.

Joe your poor sis! lol May work fly and go well. Have a lovely day and thanks for the laughs!

Haroula have a lovely day!

Cailyn thanks for the nice hot coffee. Hits the spot this morning. lol Have a lovely day!

Gerry have a lovely day!

Gail have a lovely day and enjoy the walk with the dogs. Happy gaming!

Connie may something fun pop up for you today!! Thanks for the danish and have a lovely day!

Manxman have a lovely day!

Midge nice to have the morning off so you can sleep in if you want. Happy cleaning and have a lovely day!

Bets prayers for Susie that she continue to feel better. HUGS! Hope the car is done today. Have fun at orcheatra and a lovely day!

Darlene may work fly and all go smoothly! Have a lovely day!

Ana hope the corner is moving right along. Have a lovely day and fun at the park!!

wave
Nan

Re: Monday [Re: gymcandy1] #913962
09/16/13 11:21 AM
09/16/13 11:21 AM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Nan, that is a spectacular photo! bravo Wow!
I'm cold too but we only went down to 48. Still want summer and refusing delivery of fall. rotfl
How did the move go?

Joe, you never cease to crack me up. Have an awesome day!

Darlene, Bets, Midgie, manxman, Connie, Gail, Gerry, Sue and Haroula, have a wonderful Monday!

Dance tonight and a run with the dogs shortly. Quick trip to the store is in the cards as well. The rest of the day will be in the corner.

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Monday [Re: gymcandy1] #913963
09/16/13 11:26 AM
09/16/13 11:26 AM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer
auntiegram  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
I hear ya on still wanting Summer. lol I'm not ready yet!

The move went well but there are still some things to move but will have to wait for another day.

Have fun at dancwe tonight and a great run with the dogs. I have no plans till later when I shall head out for a little howlering BINGO!!! lol

wave
Nan

Re: Monday [Re: gymcandy1] #913964
09/16/13 11:37 AM
09/16/13 11:37 AM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Good luck at Bingo!


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Monday [Re: gymcandy1] #913973
09/16/13 12:55 PM
09/16/13 12:55 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Magnificent Monday ya'll puppy

Hubby and I popped up bright and early and dark and took the monkeys to the park. Hubby wander-walked while I walked the others. It was cool which was nice, but still managed to work up a glow.

Many things on the agenda. Now if I could just find where I left it. wave


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Monday [Re: gymcandy1] #913981
09/16/13 01:51 PM
09/16/13 01:51 PM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Haroula Offline
Adept Boomer
Haroula  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
At last some rain,since last April nothing but sunny weather. yes
I love it. The smell of the wet nature... smile


I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".

Re: Monday [Re: gymcandy1] #913999
09/16/13 03:16 PM
09/16/13 03:16 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Evelyne said she had a great time in Germany and is now in the South Tirol Alps. She will be driving to her Itay home tomorrow. She says hi to all and hopes she will have internet when she gets there so she can come on herself.

L4L, ignore the agenda, enjoy your day. grin

Haroula, and I thought we needed rain! It does smell good when it rains. I enjoy it too.

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Monday [Re: gymcandy1] #914000
09/16/13 03:51 PM
09/16/13 03:51 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good afternoon Boomers. wave


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Monday [Re: gymcandy1] #914005
09/16/13 05:40 PM
09/16/13 05:40 PM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer
auntiegram  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
`Wow Haroula that seems like a long time with no rain. Glad some rain finally made it there. Enjoy!! Night and sleep well!

Space enjoy your relaxing evening!!

L4l did you find it??? lol Glad you were able to get to the park with the dogs.

Ana I'm hoping!!! lol

wave
Nan

Re: Monday [Re: gymcandy1] #914012
09/16/13 07:21 PM
09/16/13 07:21 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Good afternoon SpaceQ!

Nan, hope you are howlering! grin

I'm off to dance in a few minutes. yay

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Monday [Re: gymcandy1] #914019
09/16/13 08:02 PM
09/16/13 08:02 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Nope Nan, I never could lay my hands on it. Perhaps Skywalker ate it.


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Monday [Re: gymcandy1] #914024
09/16/13 10:05 PM
09/16/13 10:05 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Good place for it L4L as long as he can digest it. lol

I am danced out until morning when I will be back at it for morning class. Back to work for this girl...


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Monday [Re: gymcandy1] #914026
09/16/13 10:22 PM
09/16/13 10:22 PM
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Midge Offline
Graduate Boomer
Midge  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Time for me to call it a night. Early shift in the morning. Sleep well everyone. Night.

Midgie hearts sleep


Just do it.
Re: Monday [Re: gymcandy1] #914027
09/16/13 10:27 PM
09/16/13 10:27 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Sweet Dreams Midgicans hearts


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Monday [Re: gymcandy1] #914034
09/16/13 11:51 PM
09/16/13 11:51 PM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer
auntiegram  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
Well no howlering tonight, but that's ok as long as I had fun, which I did!!

Ana how fun to dance the night away and then dance the morning in!!! lol

Well time to call it a day! Night all sleep well and pleasant dreams!

sleep
Nan

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