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#914359 - 09/19/13 02:30 AM Jokes.
curly Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 07/06/03
Posts: 30184
Loc: Ottawa Ontario Canada
-1.A cement mixer collided with a prison van.
Be on the lookout for h------- c-------s.

-2.What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

o------ --- w-----.

-3.A husband and wife were shopping when the wife said, "Darling, its my mother's birthday tomorrow. What shall we buy for her?

She would like something electric."

The husband replied, "--- ----- a c----?"

-4.I am bald. As a joke a friend of mine gave me a comb
for my birthday.
I told him," thank you very much, -'-- -e-e- ---- ---- it".

-5.What do you call a woman who knows exactly where her husband is every night?

a -----.

-6.On the first day of college, the dean addressed the students to point out some of the rules. "The female dormitory will be off limits for all male students, and the male dormitory to female students. Anybody caught breaking these rules will be fined $40 the first time, $90 the second time." He continued, "Anybody caught breaking this rule the third time will be fined a hefty $200. Are there any questions?"

At this, a male student in the crowd inquired, "How m---
--- - -e---n p---?"

-7.My Aunt used this cream that promised to give her the skin of a teenager.
A week later, --e b---e --- in p----e-.

-8.You will never hear e Redneck say:
My fiancee, Bobbie Jo, is -e----e-e- at T------'s

9.If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle:

"Take two Aspirin" and "-ee- a--- f--- c-----e-."

-10.Mrs. Smith was in the habit of having long conversations on the telephone, sometimes going on over an hour. One day she hung up after 25 minutes.
"What is the matter today?", asked her husband. "Today you had less than half an hour conversation on the phone."
"- --- --e w---- n-----," replied Mrs. Smith.

lol


Edited by curly (09/19/13 01:08 PM)
_________________________
Death is life's way of telling you you're fired.

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#914362 - 09/19/13 03:13 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
BobH Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 10/14/11
Posts: 2710
Loc: 47.79N, 122.24W
4. I'll never part with it. wave
_________________________
Bob
Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.

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#914363 - 09/19/13 03:35 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
curly Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 07/06/03
Posts: 30184
Loc: Ottawa Ontario Canada
Thanks Bob.
_________________________
Death is life's way of telling you you're fired.

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#914372 - 09/19/13 04:59 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
Kaki's Sister Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 18674
Loc: Marlborough USA
3. How about a chair? lol
_________________________
Gerry

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#914373 - 09/19/13 05:05 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
Haroula Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 9056
Loc: Greece
2.Outlaws are wanted lol
Good morning wave
_________________________
I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".


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#914375 - 09/19/13 06:01 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: Haroula]
Niki Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 10/30/11
Posts: 4624
Loc: UK
1. hardened criminals wave
_________________________
What are we? Women - What do we want? We don't know - When do we want it? Now

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#914376 - 09/19/13 06:20 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
curly Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 07/06/03
Posts: 30184
Loc: Ottawa Ontario Canada
Good ones.
_________________________
Death is life's way of telling you you're fired.

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#914377 - 09/19/13 06:37 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
Urban Worrier Offline

Graduate Boomer

Registered: 11/16/04
Posts: 15154
Loc: Bucks, England
10. I got the wrong number lol wave
_________________________
You know what I did before I married Mrs Worrier? Anything I wanted to.

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#914378 - 09/19/13 06:46 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
Jema Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 09/11/02
Posts: 13683
Loc: Virginia
Good Morning, curly cat

7. she broke out in pimples eek
_________________________
Wouldn't that jar your mustard!

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#914379 - 09/19/13 06:54 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 07/06/07
Posts: 15492
Loc: Massachusetts
5. a widow

Morning curly, lol
_________________________
Gail

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#914381 - 09/19/13 07:05 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
curly Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 07/06/03
Posts: 30184
Loc: Ottawa Ontario Canada
Morning, good answers.
_________________________
Death is life's way of telling you you're fired.

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#914383 - 09/19/13 07:15 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
michele rose Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 12/25/07
Posts: 4077
Loc: Ohio
8. registered at Tiffany's lol

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#914387 - 09/19/13 09:02 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
curly Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 07/06/03
Posts: 30184
Loc: Ottawa Ontario Canada
Thanks michele.
_________________________
Death is life's way of telling you you're fired.

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#914401 - 09/19/13 10:34 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
Sondi Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 08/15/05
Posts: 3686
Loc: California
6. How much for a season pass? grin


wave

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#914410 - 09/19/13 11:41 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
curly Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 07/06/03
Posts: 30184
Loc: Ottawa Ontario Canada
Good one Sondi.
_________________________
Death is life's way of telling you you're fired.

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