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#914359 - 09/19/13 02:30 AM Jokes.
curly Online   happy
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 07/06/03
Posts: 35355
Loc: Ottawa Ontario Canada
-1.A cement mixer collided with a prison van.
Be on the lookout for h------- c-------s.

-2.What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

o------ --- w-----.

-3.A husband and wife were shopping when the wife said, "Darling, its my mother's birthday tomorrow. What shall we buy for her?

She would like something electric."

The husband replied, "--- ----- a c----?"

-4.I am bald. As a joke a friend of mine gave me a comb
for my birthday.
I told him," thank you very much, -'-- -e-e- ---- ---- it".

-5.What do you call a woman who knows exactly where her husband is every night?

a -----.

-6.On the first day of college, the dean addressed the students to point out some of the rules. "The female dormitory will be off limits for all male students, and the male dormitory to female students. Anybody caught breaking these rules will be fined $40 the first time, $90 the second time." He continued, "Anybody caught breaking this rule the third time will be fined a hefty $200. Are there any questions?"

At this, a male student in the crowd inquired, "How m---
--- - -e---n p---?"

-7.My Aunt used this cream that promised to give her the skin of a teenager.
A week later, --e b---e --- in p----e-.

-8.You will never hear e Redneck say:
My fiancee, Bobbie Jo, is -e----e-e- at T------'s

9.If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle:

"Take two Aspirin" and "-ee- a--- f--- c-----e-."

-10.Mrs. Smith was in the habit of having long conversations on the telephone, sometimes going on over an hour. One day she hung up after 25 minutes.
"What is the matter today?", asked her husband. "Today you had less than half an hour conversation on the phone."
"- --- --e w---- n-----," replied Mrs. Smith.

lol


Edited by curly (09/19/13 01:08 PM)
_________________________
There are three dimensions to credit cards, length, width and debt.

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#914362 - 09/19/13 03:13 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
BobH Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 10/14/11
Posts: 3440
Loc: 47.79N, 122.24W
4. I'll never part with it. wave
_________________________
Bob
As I've grown older, I've found that my memory is not as good as I used to think it was.

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#914363 - 09/19/13 03:35 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
curly Online   happy
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 07/06/03
Posts: 35355
Loc: Ottawa Ontario Canada
Thanks Bob.
_________________________
There are three dimensions to credit cards, length, width and debt.

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#914372 - 09/19/13 04:59 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
Kaki's Sister Online   happy
True Blue Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 22136
Loc: Marlborough USA
3. How about a chair? lol
_________________________
Gerry

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#914373 - 09/19/13 05:05 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
Haroula Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 10027
Loc: Greece
2.Outlaws are wanted lol
Good morning wave
_________________________
I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".


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#914375 - 09/19/13 06:01 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: Haroula]
Niki Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 10/30/11
Posts: 4624
Loc: UK
1. hardened criminals wave
_________________________
What are we? Women - What do we want? We don't know - When do we want it? Now

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#914376 - 09/19/13 06:20 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
curly Online   happy
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 07/06/03
Posts: 35355
Loc: Ottawa Ontario Canada
Good ones.
_________________________
There are three dimensions to credit cards, length, width and debt.

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#914377 - 09/19/13 06:37 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
Urban Worrier Offline

Graduate Boomer

Registered: 11/16/04
Posts: 16822
Loc: Bucks, England
10. I got the wrong number lol wave
_________________________
"Women who carry a little extra weight tend to live longer than the men who mention it." - Mrs Worrier

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#914378 - 09/19/13 06:46 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
Jema Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 09/11/02
Posts: 13701
Loc: Virginia
Good Morning, curly cat

7. she broke out in pimples eek
_________________________
Wouldn't that jar your mustard!

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#914379 - 09/19/13 06:54 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 07/06/07
Posts: 17958
Loc: Massachusetts
5. a widow

Morning curly, lol
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Gail

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#914381 - 09/19/13 07:05 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
curly Online   happy
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 07/06/03
Posts: 35355
Loc: Ottawa Ontario Canada
Morning, good answers.
_________________________
There are three dimensions to credit cards, length, width and debt.

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#914383 - 09/19/13 07:15 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
michele rose Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 12/25/07
Posts: 7040
Loc: Ohio
8. registered at Tiffany's lol

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#914387 - 09/19/13 09:02 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
curly Online   happy
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 07/06/03
Posts: 35355
Loc: Ottawa Ontario Canada
Thanks michele.
_________________________
There are three dimensions to credit cards, length, width and debt.

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#914401 - 09/19/13 10:34 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
Sondi Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 08/15/05
Posts: 4438
Loc: California
6. How much for a season pass? grin


wave

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#914410 - 09/19/13 11:41 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
curly Online   happy
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 07/06/03
Posts: 35355
Loc: Ottawa Ontario Canada
Good one Sondi.
_________________________
There are three dimensions to credit cards, length, width and debt.

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#914414 - 09/19/13 12:06 PM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
Redz Online   content
Adept Boomer

Registered: 08/12/00
Posts: 13878
Loc: Doylestown, Pennsylvania
9. Keep away from children grin wave

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#914426 - 09/19/13 01:08 PM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
curly Online   happy
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 07/06/03
Posts: 35355
Loc: Ottawa Ontario Canada
Thanks Joan.
_________________________
There are three dimensions to credit cards, length, width and debt.

Top
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