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#914662 - 09/20/13 09:03 PM Saturdiner
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 29938
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious.
Brendan Gill

Seriously?

Try getting out alive. lol
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


There once was a 94-year-old nun in the 1890's whose worn-out body began to surrender. Her doctor prescribed for her a shot of whiskey three times a day, to relax her.

However, not to be lured into worldly pleasures, she huffily declined. But her mother superior knew the elderly sister loved milk. So she instructed the kitchen to spike the milk three times a day.

Eventually, the elderly pious one approached her final hour. As several sisters gathered around her at bedside, the mother superior asked if she wanted to leave them any words of wisdom.

"Oh, yes," she replied. "Never sell that cow!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms.
Smith stopped to gently reprove the child.

Smiling sweetly, the Sunday School teacher said, Johnny, when I was a
child, I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would
stay like that.

Johnny looked up and replied, Well, Ms. Smith, you cant say you weren't
warned.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


A little girl asked her Mom, "Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?"
Mom replies, "No, because she is in heat."
"What's that mean?" asked the child.
"Go ask your father", answered the mother, "I think he's in the garage."
The little girl goes to the garage and says, "Dad, may I take Belle for a walk around the block? I asked Mom, but she said the dog was in heat, and to come to you."
Dad said, "Bring Belle over here." He took a rag, soaked it with gasoline, and scrubbed the dog's backside with it and said, "Okay, you can go now, but keep Belle on the leash and only go one time around the block."
The little girl left, and returned a few minutes later with no dog on the leash. Surprised, Dad asked, "Where's Belle?"
The little girl said, "She ran out of gas about halfway down the block, so another dog is pushing her home."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


A little girl and her mother were in church when the girl started to feel ill.
"Mommy, can we leave now?" asked the girl.

"No." replied Mom.

"I think I'm gonna throw up."

"Well go out the front door, walk around the back of the church and throw up behind a bush."

A few moments later the girl returned to her seat.

"Did you throw up?" asked Mom.

"Yes."

"How could you have gone all the way around the church, throw up and be back here so soon?"

"I didn't even have to go outside. They have a box right by the front door that says 'for the sick'."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Little Tim was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked, "What are you up to there, Tim?"

"My goldfish died," replied Tim tearfully, without looking up, "and I've just buried him."

The neighbor was concerned. "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"

Tim patted down the last heap of earth, then replied, "That's because he's inside your cat."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!"
After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?"

"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie. welcome

I'm really praying for rain now. I can't believe Summer's almost over, darnnit.

I heard that some states are making marajuana legal, and I plan on cleaning up.


That's if my grass starts growing again. razz


For some reason I'm getting really sleepy...........................................hungry too.

It happens whenever I burn off the grass in my yard.


Call me Smoky Joe.



Soooooooooo cool........dude







I'm thinking


It didn't work, guess I'll say good night.

Happy day everyone. Welcome to the weekend!

joe



Edited by gymcandy1 (09/20/13 09:21 PM)
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

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#914674 - 09/20/13 10:23 PM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
Space Quest Fan Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/17/01
Posts: 9400
Loc: Columbus,Ohio USA
Have a great Saturday Joe and thanks for the jokes. I think the cow one was my favorite. thumbsup
_________________________
It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.

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#914677 - 09/20/13 10:58 PM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 64426
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Joe, lol all you need to is get a medical marijuana growing license and you could have a very lucrative business. grin

It's a corner day but I will be going out to celebrate my BIL's birthday in the evening. We are taking him to dinner.

I got sprayed going out onto the deck by a skunk that was camped out under the grill because it had hot coals in it. He was keeping himself warm. lol I got it the worst but both Merlin and Shadow got caught in the crossfire. He pointed straight into the family room too through the patio doors. Good times... rotfl

Have a happy day Joe!

SpaceQ, I hope you have some fun plans.

Have a great day everyone!

Ana wave
_________________________
How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

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#914692 - 09/21/13 02:48 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
Haroula Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 7461
Loc: Greece
Good morning Joe,S.Q.fan,Ana and all who follow. wave
Have a great day everyone. happydance smile
_________________________

Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.



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#914697 - 09/21/13 04:27 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: Haroula]
cailyn Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 01/08/06
Posts: 6003
Loc: Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
Good morning Joe,Ana,SpaceQ,Haroula waveEEK Ana we're you able to get the smell out? Diego got sprayed a couple of weeks ago,and I had to go out at 3:30 in the morning to get peroxide,baking soda,dawn dishwashing liquid and give him a bath in it! He wasn't to happy but the odor was gone puppy Coffee is ready enjoy your day all summer
_________________________
I may not have gone where I intended to go,but I think I have ended up where I need to be.

Sue

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#914698 - 09/21/13 05:10 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 16841
Loc: Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe, spaceQ, Ana, Haroula and cailyn. You are a funny man Joe. SpaceQ I had a good laugh with the cow joke too. Ana how awful! I hope you "smell" nice at dinner with BIL! Thanks for the coffee Cailyn. Wishing you all a stress free day! wave
_________________________
Gerry

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#914703 - 09/21/13 06:37 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
GBC Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/06/07
Posts: 14211
Loc: Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers

Joe, thanks for the laughs.

Space, good morning.

Ana, amazing how one little animal can produce an incredibly horrible stink. eek

Haroula, have a great day!

Sue, wishing you a wonderful day. Coffee is most appreciated this morning. woozy

Gerry, enjoy whatever plans you have for the day!

A good day is wished to All! Lunch with my cousins at Cracker Barrel. happydance
_________________________
Gail

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#914709 - 09/21/13 08:50 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: GBC]
Space Quest Fan Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/17/01
Posts: 9400
Loc: Columbus,Ohio USA
Ana we are getting all the rain that came through area the other day. eek
_________________________
It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.

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#914730 - 09/21/13 09:52 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Online   content
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 42052
Loc: Alabama
Super Saturday ya'll puppy

I'm up sitting and surfing and watching the boys play legos and the son get out the door to work. Hubby was the first one up, followed by the boys, then me and the dogs, and finally, by son. He was such a morning person when he was a kid, but that changed in his teen years and has yet to revert.

It is supposed to be raining all day. If we get a break in the rain, I'm gonna see if hubby will take the boys to the park to run off some energy. Today is "bills and pills" day for me. wave
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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#914766 - 09/21/13 10:57 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 64426
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Good morning everyone. I set my alarm for 7 to go to early Insanity class, but I just chuckled to myself and went back to sleep. rotfl

Haroula, have a great day!

Sue, I add vinegar to the mix also and just use generic soft soap with the peroxide and baking soda. Works like a charm. I wish my pups were as small as Diego when that happens. It's quite a project here when my dogs get sprayed and when you add me to the mix, it becomes more chaotic. rotfl

Gerry, I hope whatever the day brings is great! I smell good this morning. lol

Gail, enjoy your cousin day lunch! I like their grilled catfish.

SpaceQ, well the good news is there is sunshine to follow the rain but it is indeed a fall crisp air out there today.

L4L, my kids got up at ungodly when they were little and we so wanted to sleep in. Then when they got older, it was impossible to get them up. I think it's every parent's curse for having children. lol
Hope you get to run the dogs today.

Ana wave
_________________________
How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

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#914768 - 09/21/13 11:12 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
MsMercury Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 02/08/06
Posts: 11720
Loc: Scotland
Hello Boomers! Hope you are all well! hearts

Getting to catch my breath today between cakes! Fully booked this month and starting to look busy for next month too! eek Not that I'm complaining, it keeps me out of mischief. I've got most of the weekend to clean up and start prepping for the next round. Sorry to rabbit on about it but I so love what I do, it gives me tremendous satisfaction when it all comes together! happydance

Diana's doing much better and thank you all for the prayers! hearts She's been to **** and back these past few months but is now out the other side, we thought at one point this wasn't going to happen so thank God and GameBoomers!

Take care all and have a great day!

Mary hearts



_________________________
"It's not what you have in your life
but who you have in your life that counts." puppy

I'm not getting old....just 'Marvelously Mature'! grin

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#914772 - 09/21/13 11:31 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
manxman Online   content
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/23/02
Posts: 14731
Loc: Unionville
And a good Saturday morning to all boomers. Hope your weekend is off to a great start smile
_________________________
Sometimes lost is where you need to be. Just because you don't know your direction doesn't mean you don't have one.

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#914795 - 09/21/13 01:43 PM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Online   content
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 42052
Loc: Alabama
Mary, so glad you are loving life and that Diana is emerging from the shadow.

Just have to brag...daughter walked a 1/2 marathon today with a fractured foot....in under 3 hours. Whoop whoop! She called at the end and was crying and could hardly talk but she was very happy! happydance

Soot is out doing errands, Per is playing quietly, and Cully was replaced by Sully so he was sent to bed. My mantra has always been "Fussy babies go to bed" no matter who or how old the baby is. I even send myself to bed.

Then had to head up and remind him that I can hear all the bumps and thumps of his being up and it really would be better for him if I don't hear anymore.

I found the top of my desk (again)....now to the receipts and bills. wave
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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#914826 - 09/21/13 03:39 PM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 64426
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
L4L, that is awesome! She's a beast! woot Tell her I said well done!

Mary, happy to hear that Diana is doing better. hearts

manxman, have a happy day!
_________________________
How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

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#914828 - 09/21/13 03:46 PM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
Haroula Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 7461
Loc: Greece
sleep wave
_________________________

Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.



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