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Jokes. #915275
09/24/13 02:25 AM
09/24/13 02:25 AM
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 46,943
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
curly Online happy OP
Sonic Boomer
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 46,943
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
-1.William Shakespeare walks into a bar one day, and the bartender says to him "Hey, you can't come in here;

---'-e ----!"

-2.What do you give a cannibal who is late for dinner?

--e c--- ------e-.

3.Several years ago, the State of Missouri was looking for something to replace their "Show me State" motto.

Their tourist agency came up with "M------- ---es c------"

-4.How can you help a starving cannibal?

---e him a ----!

5.Bob entered the barbershop and said emphatically to the
barber,"I want my hair cut so that it's long here,here,
here,and here, sort of wavy in this section but straight
just below,sort of spiked on this diagonal with a slanted
taper,and bald patches here,here,here,and here. I want my
hair so ugly that every female who sees me nearly passes
out."
The barber looked at him and said,"I don't think I can
do that!"
"Why not?"asked Bob. "You --- it --e l--- t--e I --- -e-e!"

-6.A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his name missing from the town register. His wife insisted on complaining to the local civic official who apologized profusely saying, "I must have t--e- L--- ---
my c-----."

-7.Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid bowlers However, all the league records were unfortunately destroyed in a fire. Thus we'll never know for whom
--- T---- b-----

-8.Church sign:Do not wait for the hearse to ---e --- to ------

-9.Mom: Little Joey, what are you doing in the house?
Isn't your baseball game today?

Little Joey: Yes, Mom, but when I rounded third base,
the ----- t--- -e to go ---e.

-10.Pearl: How was your blind date last night?
Shirl: Terrible. He showed up in a 1932 Rolls-Royce.
Pearl: Wow,that car must be worth a fortune!
What's so terrible about that?
Shirl: He's --e o------- o----.

lol

Last edited by curly; 09/24/13 09:55 AM.

If you can't dance, don't blame the dance floor.
Re: Jokes. [Re: curly] #915276
09/24/13 03:14 AM
09/24/13 03:14 AM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Haroula Offline
Adept Boomer
Haroula  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
2.the cold shoulder lol
Good morning smile wave


I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".

Re: Jokes. [Re: curly] #915278
09/24/13 03:45 AM
09/24/13 03:45 AM
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 9,304
Deepest darkest Norfolk, Engla...
bermag45 Offline
BAAG Specialist
bermag45  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 9,304
Deepest darkest Norfolk, Engla...
1. "You're bard" lol - Hi Curly wave thumbsup

Bernie happydance

Re: Jokes. [Re: curly] #915279
09/24/13 04:01 AM
09/24/13 04:01 AM
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 46,943
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
curly Online happy OP
Sonic Boomer
curly  Online Happy OP
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 46,943
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
Good morning, good starts.


If you can't dance, don't blame the dance floor.
Re: Jokes. [Re: curly] #915280
09/24/13 04:18 AM
09/24/13 04:18 AM
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 4,944
Nova Scotia
Flo NS Offline
Addicted Boomer
Flo NS  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 4,944
Nova Scotia
10. He's the original owner.

Re: Jokes. [Re: curly] #915283
09/24/13 05:47 AM
09/24/13 05:47 AM
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 46,943
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
curly Online happy OP
Sonic Boomer
curly  Online Happy OP
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 46,943
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
Thanks Flo.


If you can't dance, don't blame the dance floor.
Re: Jokes. [Re: curly] #915284
09/24/13 05:55 AM
09/24/13 05:55 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
7. The Tells Bowled

Morning curly, hearts


Gail
Re: Jokes. [Re: curly] #915288
09/24/13 06:20 AM
09/24/13 06:20 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,110
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,110
Marlborough USA
4. Give him a hand! grin


Gerry
Re: Jokes. [Re: curly] #915290
09/24/13 06:29 AM
09/24/13 06:29 AM
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 46,943
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
curly Online happy OP
Sonic Boomer
curly  Online Happy OP
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 46,943
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
Good ones, Hi Gail.


If you can't dance, don't blame the dance floor.
Re: Jokes. [Re: curly] #915295
09/24/13 07:23 AM
09/24/13 07:23 AM
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 15,007
Ohio
michele rose Offline
Graduate Boomer
michele rose  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 15,007
Ohio
8. take you to heaven grin

Re: Jokes. [Re: curly] #915296
09/24/13 07:55 AM
09/24/13 07:55 AM
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 16,715
Doylestown, Pennsylvania
Redz Offline
Graduate Boomer
Redz  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 16,715
Doylestown, Pennsylvania
6. I must have taken Leif off my census lol wave

Re: Jokes. [Re: curly] #915298
09/24/13 08:10 AM
09/24/13 08:10 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 29,026
Unionville
manxman Offline
Sonic Boomer
manxman  Offline
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Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 29,026
Unionville
9. the coach told me to go home wave


Sometimes lost is where you need to be. Just because you don't know your direction doesn't mean you don't have one.
Re: Jokes. [Re: curly] #915303
09/24/13 08:47 AM
09/24/13 08:47 AM
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 46,943
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
curly Online happy OP
Sonic Boomer
curly  Online Happy OP
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 46,943
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
Good ones.


If you can't dance, don't blame the dance floor.
Re: Jokes. [Re: curly] #915306
09/24/13 09:30 AM
09/24/13 09:30 AM
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 265
greece
margob Offline
Settled Boomer
margob  Offline
Settled Boomer

Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 265
greece
5. you did it the last time I was here wave

margo

Re: Jokes. [Re: curly] #915310
09/24/13 09:55 AM
09/24/13 09:55 AM
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 46,943
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
curly Online happy OP
Sonic Boomer
curly  Online Happy OP
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 46,943
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
Thanks Margo.


If you can't dance, don't blame the dance floor.
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