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#915275 - 09/24/13 02:25 AM Jokes.
curly Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 07/06/03
Posts: 28402
Loc: Ottawa Ontario Canada
-1.William Shakespeare walks into a bar one day, and the bartender says to him "Hey, you can't come in here;

---'-e ----!"

-2.What do you give a cannibal who is late for dinner?

--e c--- ------e-.

3.Several years ago, the State of Missouri was looking for something to replace their "Show me State" motto.

Their tourist agency came up with "M------- ---es c------"

-4.How can you help a starving cannibal?

---e him a ----!

5.Bob entered the barbershop and said emphatically to the
barber,"I want my hair cut so that it's long here,here,
here,and here, sort of wavy in this section but straight
just below,sort of spiked on this diagonal with a slanted
taper,and bald patches here,here,here,and here. I want my
hair so ugly that every female who sees me nearly passes
out."
The barber looked at him and said,"I don't think I can
do that!"
"Why not?"asked Bob. "You --- it --e l--- t--e I --- -e-e!"

-6.A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his name missing from the town register. His wife insisted on complaining to the local civic official who apologized profusely saying, "I must have t--e- L--- ---
my c-----."

-7.Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid bowlers However, all the league records were unfortunately destroyed in a fire. Thus we'll never know for whom
--- T---- b-----

-8.Church sign:Do not wait for the hearse to ---e --- to ------

-9.Mom: Little Joey, what are you doing in the house?
Isn't your baseball game today?

Little Joey: Yes, Mom, but when I rounded third base,
the ----- t--- -e to go ---e.

-10.Pearl: How was your blind date last night?
Shirl: Terrible. He showed up in a 1932 Rolls-Royce.
Pearl: Wow,that car must be worth a fortune!
What's so terrible about that?
Shirl: He's --e o------- o----.

lol


Edited by curly (09/24/13 09:55 AM)
_________________________
Hospital is a place where they wake you up to give you a sleeping pill.

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#915276 - 09/24/13 03:14 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
Haroula Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 7815
Loc: Greece
2.the cold shoulder lol
Good morning smile wave
_________________________

Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.



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#915278 - 09/24/13 03:45 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
bermag45 Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 10/31/03
Posts: 5177
Loc: Deepest darkest Norfolk, Engla...
1. "You're bard" lol - Hi Curly wave thumbsup

Bernie happydance

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#915279 - 09/24/13 04:01 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
curly Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 07/06/03
Posts: 28402
Loc: Ottawa Ontario Canada
Good morning, good starts.
_________________________
Hospital is a place where they wake you up to give you a sleeping pill.

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#915280 - 09/24/13 04:18 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
Flo NS Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 04/11/06
Posts: 4359
Loc: Nova Scotia
10. He's the original owner.

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#915283 - 09/24/13 05:47 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
curly Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 07/06/03
Posts: 28402
Loc: Ottawa Ontario Canada
Thanks Flo.
_________________________
Hospital is a place where they wake you up to give you a sleeping pill.

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#915284 - 09/24/13 05:55 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
GBC Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/06/07
Posts: 14564
Loc: Massachusetts
7. The Tells Bowled

Morning curly, hearts
_________________________
Gail

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#915288 - 09/24/13 06:20 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
Kaki's Sister Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 17308
Loc: Marlborough USA
4. Give him a hand! grin
_________________________
Gerry

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#915290 - 09/24/13 06:29 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
curly Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 07/06/03
Posts: 28402
Loc: Ottawa Ontario Canada
Good ones, Hi Gail.
_________________________
Hospital is a place where they wake you up to give you a sleeping pill.

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#915295 - 09/24/13 07:23 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
michele rose Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 12/25/07
Posts: 3093
Loc: Ohio
8. take you to heaven grin

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#915296 - 09/24/13 07:55 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
Redz Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 08/12/00
Posts: 12115
Loc: Doylestown, Pennsylvania
6. I must have taken Leif off my census lol wave

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#915298 - 09/24/13 08:10 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
manxman Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 07/23/02
Posts: 15328
Loc: Unionville
9. the coach told me to go home wave
_________________________
Sometimes lost is where you need to be. Just because you don't know your direction doesn't mean you don't have one.

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#915303 - 09/24/13 08:47 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
curly Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 07/06/03
Posts: 28402
Loc: Ottawa Ontario Canada
Good ones.
_________________________
Hospital is a place where they wake you up to give you a sleeping pill.

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#915306 - 09/24/13 09:30 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
margob Offline
Settled Boomer

Registered: 09/06/13
Posts: 265
Loc: greece
5. you did it the last time I was here wave

margo

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#915310 - 09/24/13 09:55 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
curly Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 07/06/03
Posts: 28402
Loc: Ottawa Ontario Canada
Thanks Margo.
_________________________
Hospital is a place where they wake you up to give you a sleeping pill.

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