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#917247 - 10/06/13 01:38 AM Sunday Morning Sunshine
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 30060
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
Love the moment, and the energy of that moment will spread beyond all boundaries.
Corita Kent
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A man is driving along the motorway with his wife in the passenger seat. During the drive, the wife gets an idea. She starts taking off her clothing piece by piece and tossing them out the window.

The guy is shocked but aroused. She gets her shoes, socks, etc. and chucks them out. Finally, she whips her underwear off and throws it all out onto the motorway. The guy is laughing and leering at her. He looses control of the car in the process and crashes into a barrier at the side.

Unfortunately, the air-bag doesn't go off on his side, and he finds himself wedged in under the steering wheel. "Help, go get help......aggghhhh, I'm stuck", he shouts.

"But I have no clothes on. What'll I do ?", she screams.

"Here", he says wiggling his foot, "Take my shoe and put it over your crotch. It'll have to do, love. Quick, hurry!"

She takes the shoe off his foot and places it over her crotch and gets out of the car, limping and shouting for help. After a few hundred yards of yelling and running a trucker notices this naked hysterical woman holding a shoe over her crotch, and pulls over.

"What's seems to be the trouble?", he asks.

"Help me", she screams, "My husband is stuck".

"If he's stuck up that far I'm afraid I can't help you."
~~~~~~~~~~


A lady walked into a drugstore and told the pharmacist she needed some cyanide right away. The pharmacist naturally was concerned by such a request and asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"

The lady then explained that she needed it to poison her husband. The pharmacist's eyes got big and he said, "I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law! I'll lose my license. They'll throw both of us in jail and all kinds of bad things will happen! Absolutely not???you cannot have any cyanide!"

The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.

The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well, now. You didn't tell me you had a prescription."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Three nuns were talking. The first nun said, "I was cleaning in Father's room the other day and do you know what I found? A bunch of pornographic magazines."

"What did you do?" the other nuns asked.

"Well, of course I threw them in the trash."

The second nun said, "Well, I can top that. I was in Father's room putting away the laundry and I found a bunch of condoms!"

"Oh my!" gasped the other nuns. "What did you do?" they asked.

"I poked holes in all of them!" she replied. The third nun fainted.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There was a man who really took care of his body. He lifted weights and jogged six miles every day. One morning he looked into the mirror, admiring his body, and noticed that he was suntanned all over with the exception of his [blip]. So he decided to do something about that.

He went to the beach, undressed completely, and buried himself in the sand, except for his [blip], which he left sticking out of the sand.

A bit later, two little old ladies came strolling along the beach, one using a cane to help her get along. Upon seeing the thing sticking out of the sand, the lady with the cane began to move the [blip] around with her cane.

Remarking to the other little old lady, she said, "There really is no justice in the world."

The other little old lady asked, "What do you mean by that?"

The first little old lady replied, "Look at that. When I was 20, I was curious about it. When I was 30, I enjoyed it. When I was 40, I asked for it. When I was 50, I paid for it. When I was 60, I prayed for it. When I was 70, I forgot about it. Now that I'm 80, the damned things are growing wild, and I'm too old to squat."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie. welcome

Man oh man I get one joke posted, and then I doze off for 5 minutes . rolleyes

It's no wonder. I took 3 'Coma in a Bottle' when I got home. sleep

Also known as 'Sleep Insurance'.

My one night off, and I can't even stay up late and watch the telly, or game a bit. razz

I can dream about it though....... happydance

Off to bed then............TALLY HO!! penguin

Have a happy day everyone. thumbsup

joe


Edited by gymcandy1 (10/06/13 01:41 AM)
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

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#917249 - 10/06/13 02:10 AM Re: Sunday Morning Sunshine [Re: gymcandy1]
Darlene Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/10/00
Posts: 9400
Loc: Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Tally ho and sweet dreams! Hope your Sunday Morning Sunshine is so very super duper!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Still late Saturday evening for me....

Planning on an easy peasy Sunday!

Hey, Midgie! Serving up crepes for a lovely Sunday morning! smile Your chair is waiting! All sweet 'Boomies are welcome!

So.

To all abed, sleep To all awake, woot
_________________________
You become what you think about. Change your thoughts, change your life. - Dko

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#917250 - 10/06/13 02:23 AM Re: Sunday Morning Sunshine [Re: gymcandy1]
Haroula Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 7810
Loc: Greece
Good morning Joe,Darlene and all who come in later. wave
Have all a great Sunday. happydance smile
_________________________

Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.



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#917256 - 10/06/13 04:40 AM Re: Sunday Morning Sunshine [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 17305
Loc: Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe, Darlene and Haroula. Joe happy dreams! Darlene I love crepes! I'd love to join you! Haroula enjoy your day. Cailyn coffee's on! Wishing everyone a wonderful Sunday! fall
_________________________
Gerry

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#917261 - 10/06/13 06:36 AM Re: Sunday Morning Sunshine [Re: gymcandy1]
Midge Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 04/30/00
Posts: 14679
Loc: Massachusetts
Good morning. Thanks Joe for opening this morning. Oooh Darlene. I'm finding my fork, plate, napkin and heading over to your place. Thank you Sweetie. Haven't had them in a long time. Yummy.Morning Haroula,Gerry, and all who comes in today. I have an early morning shift so I have to get a move on. Have a great Sunday. See you later.

Midgie hearts
_________________________
Just do it.

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#917263 - 10/06/13 07:10 AM Re: Sunday Morning Sunshine [Re: gymcandy1]
GBC Online   content
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/06/07
Posts: 14554
Loc: Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers

Joe, enjoy your day when you awake.

Darlene, have a nice easy peasy Sunday.

Gerry, thanks for the coffee.

Haroula, good afternoon.

Midgie, have a wonderful day! Enjoy your crepes.

Church this morning then lunch out. Wishing everybody a super good day! fall
_________________________
Gail

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#917265 - 10/06/13 07:28 AM Re: Sunday Morning Sunshine [Re: gymcandy1]
connie Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 07/12/02
Posts: 8116
Loc: winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. Spent the whole day yesterday cleaning up the greenhouse. The garbage men will not be happy with us. Boy have we collected a bunch of old pots and junk. Now we have more room for plants. Will be bringing in hubby's orchids soon. Breakfast out and a trip to Sam's Club this morning. To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful Sunday. Danish, Eggs, Bacon Sausage, Hash Browns, Pancakes, and English Muffins in the NC. fall
_________________________
Connie

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#917272 - 10/06/13 08:30 AM Re: Sunday Morning Sunshine [Re: gymcandy1]
Space Quest Fan Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/17/01
Posts: 9577
Loc: Columbus,Ohio USA
Good morning Boomers. wave
_________________________
It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.

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#917280 - 10/06/13 09:47 AM Re: Sunday Morning Sunshine [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 65211
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Good morning Joe, Darlene, Haroula, Gerry, Midgie, Connie, Gail and SpaceQ.

I'll be heading to Insanity in a bit and then it's a corner day. No run for the dogs, Merlin is back on the injured reserved roster so we will stay home. Hubby is golfing and I will have the house to myself. yay

Have an awesome day!

Ana wave
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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#917292 - 10/06/13 10:26 AM Re: Sunday Morning Sunshine [Re: BrownEyedTigre]
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 30060
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
Good morning everybody. wave

To say I'm tired is putting it mildly. tired

I slept till 8:00.

My feet are not just sore. I can barely walk. shocked

I have to go to Walmart this morning, and stock up. I'm out of everything.

It's a beautiful awesome sunshiny day here. You couldn't ask for better. wave

I hope your day is beautiful too. happydance

joe


Edited by gymcandy1 (10/06/13 10:27 AM)
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

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#917301 - 10/06/13 11:26 AM Re: Sunday Morning Sunshine [Re: gymcandy1]
flutist Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/17/01
Posts: 11412
Loc: Kirkwood, MO USA
Good morning y'all.

Cool this morning. 51 when we got up. The wind has a little nip in it. Bill has been digging a hole to put in the new mailbox post. Gotta do it today as it needs to sit in concrete overnight. Then he can finish assembling it tomorrow morning.

Susie and Vince are coming over for dinner this afternoon. Susie is doing really good. Don't know if it is the new med or the new doc or both, but whichever, we are all pleased. Gonna fix a chicken dish for dinner and last night I made a 3 bean salad. One of Susie's favorites.

Well, I'm gonna go get some coffee and play something for a bit. Just finished my 4th round of 80 days. May start it again. It is so addictive.

Have a wonderful day everyone.

Bets
_________________________
Corgis fill your life with Joy, your heart with Love, and your soul with Sunshine.

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#917308 - 10/06/13 11:42 AM Re: Sunday Morning Sunshine [Re: gymcandy1]
Midge Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 04/30/00
Posts: 14679
Loc: Massachusetts
Joe could you send some of your weather in my direction pleaseandthankyou? We have rain and miserable.

Midgie hearts
_________________________
Just do it.

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#917317 - 10/06/13 12:09 PM Re: Sunday Morning Sunshine [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 42376
Loc: Alabama
Super Sunday ya'll puppy

Hubby let me sleep and sleep....got up to a quiet house. Also got up to a Keoki greeting me from the floor. He slipped his collar, popped off the bed, and came over to my side to say "hi". So he is officially going back into his kennel tonight.

We have to do some grocery shopping..out of coffee milk...terrible tragedy rotfl Not sure what else will happen, but for sure...something will wave
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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#917319 - 10/06/13 12:21 PM Re: Sunday Morning Sunshine [Re: gymcandy1]
Lotus777 Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 03/12/06
Posts: 3270
Loc: Oregon
Good Morning Boomers!! It is another beautiful day in the NW. Very chilly this morning, though, it being in the low 40's. "Boys", (hubby and BIL), are attacking a rather large burn pile so the air should be soon full of wood smoke. Fall is definitely here. Going to try to make one more batch of pickles....we had way too many cucumbers!! SIL made dinner Friday night and we all ate outside under the trees. It was chilly but we were dressed for it. She is a great cook, I might add. Might even get in a bit of gaming later. Happy Gaming to all of you!!! wave
_________________________
Lotus
Life is like a hot bath. It feels good while you’re in it, but the longer you stay in, the more wrinkled you get.

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#917325 - 10/06/13 01:40 PM Re: Sunday Morning Sunshine [Re: gymcandy1]
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/10/06
Posts: 13689
Loc: northern Wisconsin
Joe have fun stocking up at Wally World!! Hope the feet start feeling better for you. Couple years ago my feet felt like that but then I started wearing good support tennis shoes and now they are good. Enjoy your day off!

Darlene thanks for the crepes! Enjoy your easy peasy day! How was the heart playing?? Have a lovely day!

Haroula have a lovely day!

Gerry thanks for starting the coffee. have a lovely day!

Midge may work be fun. Enjoy the crepes!! Have a lovely day!

Gail enjoy church and lunch out! Have an easy peasy afternoon!!

Connie funny how stuff just seems to find a way home. lol Glad there is enough space to put in some more plants!! Thanks for the danish and have a lovely day!

Space have a lovely day.

Ana not hibernating but am entertaining the Florida thoughts. lol Enjoy class this morning and may the project move right along for you!!! HUGS to poor Merlin!

Bets glad that Susie is doing really good now! Good luck to Bill and the new mailbox! Enjoy dinner and the company! Have a lovely day!

L4l hope Keoki's hop off the bed doesn't set him back any! Happy shopping.

Lotus but it is nice to have them living so close! Happy pickling!!! lol

wave
Nan

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