GAMEBOOMERS provides you with all the latest PC adventure computer games information, forum, walkthroughs, reviews and news.
GB Reviews Latest & Upcoming Adventure Games GB Annual Game Lists GB Interviews

BAAGS

GB @ acebook

GB @ witter

About Us
Walkthroughs free games galore Independent Games World of Adventure Patches Game Publishers & Developers GameBoomers Store
Big Fish Games Homepage    
Page 1 of 2 1 2 >
Topic Options
#922473 - 11/04/13 09:36 PM Tuesday's
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 30036
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something is wrong with me.
- Elayne Boosler
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


"Ever since we got married, my wife has tried to change me. She got me to
stop drinking, smoking and running around until all hours of the night.
She taught me how to dress well, enjoy the fine arts, gourmet cooking,
classical music, even how to invest in the stock market," said the man.

"Sounds like you may be bitter because she changed you so drastically,"
remarked his friend.

"I'm not bitter. Now that I'm so improved, she just isn't good enough
for me."
~~~~~~~~~~'




Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.

Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose! Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house.

He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick: "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling! Love, Jillian"

He stumbles into the kitchen and sure enough, there is a hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee, and the morning newspaper all waiting for him. His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, "Son... what happened last night?"

"Well, you came home after 3 in the morning, drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door."

Confused, he asked his son, "So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?"

His son replies, "Oh THAT! Well, Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed,'Leave me alone, I'm married!'"
~~~~~~~~


A guy walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender asks, "What'll it be?" The guy responds, "Double Scotch." The bartender gives him a double scotch and the guy swallows it in one gulp and then proceeds to look into his shirt pocket.

The guy looks back up and says, with a look of pure discussed, "Another double please!" The bartender pours another for the man.

Once again the man swallows it in one gulp and proceeds to look into his shirt pocket. and once agian he looks back up and says, with a look of pure discussed, "Another double please!" The bartender pours another for the man.

By the fifth round with the exact same reaction from the man each time the bartender finaly asks, "Hey buddy, I will fill you shot glass all night long, but you have to to me, What is in your pocket?"

The guy looks up at the bartender and politely says, "It's a picture of my wife. I am just waiting for her to look pretty so I can go home."
~~~~~~

HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN:

* Compliment her
* cuddle her
* kiss her
* caress her
* love her
* stroke her
* tease her
* comfort her
* protect her
* hug her
* hold her
* spend money on her
* wine & dine her
* buy things for her
* listen to her
* care for her
* stand by her
* support her
* go to the ends of the earth for her....

HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN:

* Show up naked.
~~~~~

It's closing time, and two drunks are getting ready to leave the bar. "God, I hate getting home at this hour. All I want to do is take my shoes off and crawl into bed, but Hailey always nags me for what seems like hours".
"Sneaking's not the way to do it. Try slamming the front door, stomping upstairs, and yelling 'Hey baby, let's have sex'. When I do that, my wife always pretends she's sound asleep".
~~~~~~~~~~~

A Mormon was seated next to an Irishman on a flight from London. After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken.

The Irishman asked for a whiskey, which was promptly brought and placed before him.

The flight attendant then asked the Mormon if he would like a drink.

He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips."

The Irishman then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "Me, too, I didn't know we had a choice."
~~~~

A kilted Scotsman was walking down a country path after finishing off a large amount of whisky at a local pub. He felt quite sleepy and decided to nap against a tree.

As he slept, two female tourists heard his loud snoring. When they found him, one said, "I've always wondered what a Scotsman wears under his kilt."

She boldly walked over to the sleeper, raised his kilt, and saw that he wore nothing at all. Her friend said, "Well, the mystery is solved! Let's thank him for sharing!"

She took off her pretty blue hair ribbon and gently tied it around the Scotsman's endowment. A while later, the Scotsman was awakened by the call of nature. He raised his kilt and was bewildered at the sight of the neatly tied blue ribbon. He stared for a minute, then said, "I don't know where y'been laddie... but it's nice ta see you won firrrst prrrize!"
~~~~

Good morning everyboomie. welcome

Here comes your Tuesday served piping hot on a silver platter with coffee. thumbsup

think

It could be your coffee served piping hot on a silver platter with a Tuesday.

I know it's Tuesday. duh

I think I know it's Tuesday. headscratch

I just watched The Adjustment Bureau. blush

I'm putting locks on every door in my bedroom. shocked

It probably won't help. I did the same thing when I was married, but my wife kept getting in anyway. scared

Have a happy day everyone.

joe
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

Top
#922475 - 11/04/13 10:23 PM Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1]
Midge Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 04/30/00
Posts: 14651
Loc: Massachusetts
Well,since I missed Monday's post, I thought I'd be first on Tuesday's. Thanks Joe for opening for us. You really crack me up. Gotta work a split shift tomorrow so I'll see you on the flip side. Night.

Midgie hearts
_________________________
Just do it.

Top
#922479 - 11/04/13 10:33 PM Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 65043
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Good morning Joe and thanks for the chuckles.
I am sure Pepper and Baby will keep you safe. hearts

Midgie, hope you have a great day!

Have a happy day all!

Ana wave
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

Top
#922498 - 11/04/13 11:43 PM Re: Tuesday's [Re: BrownEyedTigre]
Drmojo Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 12/04/04
Posts: 1785
Loc: Washington In the Wet corner
HI YA Joe~ Thanks for the chuckles snicker
have a nice day~


Hey ya Ana~ Thats gggreat you had so much
fun at the race! did you win? happydance

Hi Midge how atr you doing? have a
good day wave

i have 4 weeks left of IV antibiotics
thry couldn't find any veins in my arms
that would work, so the had to take me to
surgery to put in a shory-tunnel cath
in my jugular vein, YUK!! so I'll be
very happy to be done with all this.
its for the bone infection in my left leg.
it won't get rid of the bone infection
but it will kill all the other bugs~
they want to cut if off above my knee
but I said not yet, I use that knee a lot.

Rikki my niece got a new 7 week old
Siberian Husky, she's all white
her name is Rowdie~ she is sooooo cute hearts
she looks like a ball of cotten lol


to all the Boomers that come in
Have a nice day! sherlock fall tomato dance pumpkin taz


KAREN puppy


Edited by Drmojo (11/04/13 11:57 PM)
_________________________
OSO live
OSO Love
++OSO Strong++



Peace be with you~

Top
#922500 - 11/04/13 11:48 PM Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 65043
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Doc, my photos are on FB, I did indeed succeed and earned my medal. It was awesome!
How you feeling with the new antibiotics?
The puppy sounds adorable. puppy
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

Top
#922507 - 11/05/13 12:03 AM Re: Tuesday's [Re: BrownEyedTigre]
Drmojo Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 12/04/04
Posts: 1785
Loc: Washington In the Wet corner
HI ANA~ wave

just saw your pics their gggreat!!!!
CONGRATS!!! yay
the IV's have made me dee; a whole
lot better~ I hsve some of my energy
back happydance
how r u feeling?? and how are your
pups doing?? Hugs~ hearts
_________________________
OSO live
OSO Love
++OSO Strong++



Peace be with you~

Top
#922521 - 11/05/13 01:57 AM Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1]
Haroula Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 7718
Loc: Greece
Have a great day everyone smile wave
_________________________

Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.



Top
#922530 - 11/05/13 04:46 AM Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 17212
Loc: Marlborough USA
pumpkin Good Morning Joe, Midgie, Karen, and Haroula. Tuesday coffee sounds good Joe. penguin Midgie have a stress free day! smile Ana congrats on your metal! bravo You amaze me! praise Karen keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. catrub I hope the next four weeks pass quickly for you. Haroula enjoy your day. wave Happy Tuesday to All! pumpkin
_________________________
Gerry

Top
#922540 - 11/05/13 05:58 AM Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1]
connie Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 07/12/02
Posts: 8083
Loc: winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. Karen, prayers and hugs being sent your way. hearts To all here and all who follow, have a Great Tuesday. Danish, Bacon Sandwiches, and Omelets in the NC. fall
_________________________
Connie

Top
#922559 - 11/05/13 07:56 AM Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1]
GBC Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/06/07
Posts: 14479
Loc: Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers

Joe, did you mention coffee? woot

Ana, I don't have a FB glad you got your medal.

Karen, hugs my friend. You inspire me.

Haroula, happy day is wished.

Midgie, good day to you.

Gerry, enjoy whatever you decide to do today.

Connie, thanks for the Danish.

Hope everyone enjoys the day. fall
_________________________
Gail

Top
#922600 - 11/05/13 10:07 AM Re: Tuesday's [Re: GBC]
Darlene Online   content
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/10/00
Posts: 9375
Loc: Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Have a very happy Tuesday!

Ana, congrats on your medal! Woohoo and booyah!
And, yes! Daughter found the wedding dress! It's lovely!

Karen, big hugs to you! hearts

Howdy, Midgie! kissy

Hey, Haroula, Gerry, Connie, and Gail! wave

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!
_________________________
You become what you think about. Change your thoughts, change your life. - Dko

Top
#922605 - 11/05/13 10:19 AM Re: Tuesday's [Re: Darlene]
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 30036
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
Good morning everyone. wave

This is our second rainy gloomy day, and I'm fixing to leave for work. tired

I have three mid-shifts now from 10 to 7, before my Friday off. razz

We haven't gotten much rain, but today and tomorrow is supposed to be all rainy. happydance

I hope you all have what you wish for today. yay

See you after 7:00 tonight. thumbsup

joe
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

Top
#922609 - 11/05/13 10:32 AM Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1]
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/10/06
Posts: 13658
Loc: northern Wisconsin
Joe you can have all of our rain thaty you want. In fact they are talking measureable snow for northern WI later today and tonight. Want any of that too?? lol

May work fly and all go well. Thanks for the laughs!

Midge may you have a wonderful day!

Karen keeping you in my thoughts and kprayers. The next four weeks will be over in no time at all! HUGS!!

Ana have they sent you back to the corner yet??? lol You should be a good girl and then maybe..... lol Just kidding. Have a lovely day and enjoy your run as I see some moisture headed your way also!

Haroula have a lovely day! Hope the "boys" are feeling better now.

Gerry thanks for the coffee and have a lovely walk and a nice day!

Gail you need to make one up. You might be suprised at who all is there. lol Or not. Have a lovely day!!

Connie have fun what ever you do today! Thanks for the danish!

Darlene glad that daughter has found the 'right' dress!! May work fly and all go smoothly! Have a lovely day!

No plans but will run out to pick up a few things just in case.

wave
Nan

Top
#922618 - 11/05/13 11:17 AM Re: Tuesday's [Re: auntiegram]
SharonB Offline
Settled Boomer

Registered: 01/23/09
Posts: 934
Loc: Delaware, USA
Hello! Joe you gave me some laugh out louds this morning. Dr Mojo hope your 4 weeks pass quickly. You are in my prayers. Ana, run for me too would you. I'm supposed to walk every day, but I'm very lazy. And it's cold. Will walk today anyway. Connie thanks for the bacon sandwich. I love bacon.

Need to wash clothes and go to the store. To all here and all who come in later, have a great Tuesday. NCIS tonight! See ya!

Top
#922625 - 11/05/13 11:39 AM Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1]
flutist Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/17/01
Posts: 11408
Loc: Kirkwood, MO USA
Good morning y'all.

Have a question. Can anyone tell me a good safe site to download free books for the Kindle Fire HD? I am getting one for Christmas. Woo Hoo.

Not much going on here. Been drizzling but didn't keep me from going to WalMart. Nothing interesting. Just the usual stuff.

Have a great day everyone.

Bets
_________________________
Corgis fill your life with Joy, your heart with Love, and your soul with Sunshine.

Top
Page 1 of 2 1 2 >

Moderator:  BrownEyedTigre, looney4labs 

Who's Online
Key: Admin Global Mod Mod Staff  )
11 registered (oldman, LadyKestrel, Pokey, shroeder, Darlene, Sherlock, maryjo, Sorta Blonde, DayvHack, 1 invisible), 65 Guests and 18 Spiders online.
Newest Members
Amberdrop, binnykinz, scarend, JALind, maggieann
8524 Registered Users