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#923341 - 11/08/13 07:35 PM Saturdiner
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 32158
Loc: Calera, Oklahoma
Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.
Elbert Hubbard (1856 - 1915)

One day, a mechanical engineer, electrical engineer, chemical engineer, and computer engineer were driving down the street in the same car when it broke down.

The mechanical engineer said, "I think a rod broke."

The chemical engineer said, "The way it sputtered at the end, I think it's not getting enough gas."

The electrical engineer said, "I think there was a spark and something's wrong with the electrical system."

All three turned to the computer engineer and said, "What do you think?"

The computer engineer said, "I think we should all get out and then get back in."

This one is a bit 'dated'.

70 20 Ways To Tell You've Been Online Too Long

1. Tech Support calls "YOU" for help.

2. Someone at work tells you a joke and you say "LOL".

3. You watch TV with the closed captioning turned on.

4. You have called out someone's screen name while making love to
your significant other.

5. You keep begging your friends to get an account so "we can hang out".

6. Three words: Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.

7. You've even gotten on an airplane just to meet some folks face-to-

8. You have to get a 2d phone line just so you can call Pizza Hut.

9. You go into labor and you stop to type a special e-mail to let everyone
know you're going to be away.

10. You have a vanity car tag with your screen name on it.

11. You no longer type with proper capitalization, punctuation, or
complete sentences.

12. You have met over 100 AOLers. (does anybody still use AOL?)

13. You begin to say "heh heh heh" instead of laughing.

14. When someone says "What did you say?" you reply "Scroll up!"

15. You find yourself sneaking away to the computer in the middle of the
night when your spouse is asleep.

16. You turn down the lights & close the blinds so people won't know
you're on-line again.

17. You know more about your AOL friends' daily routines than you do
your own spouses.

18. You find yourself lying to others about your time on-line & when they
complain that your phone was busy you claim it was off the hook.

19. You have an identity crisis if someone is using a screen name close to
your own.

20. You would rather tell people that your bloodshot eyes are from
partying too much than the truth (online all night).

Reaching the end of a job interview, the human resources person asked a young engineer fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were you looking for?"

The engineer said, "In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."

The interviewer said, "Well, what would you say to a five-week vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching your retirement fund to 50% of your salary, and a company car leased every two years, say, a red Corvette?"

The young engineer sat up straight and said, "Wow! Are you kidding?"

The interviewer replied, "Yeah, but you started it."

Top 10 reasons computers must be male:

10. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.

9. A better model is always just around the corner.

8. They look nice and shiny until you bring them home.

7. It is always necessary to have a backup.

6. They'll do whatever you say if you push the right buttons.

5. The best part of having either one is the games you can play.

4. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.

3. The lights are on but nobody's home.

2. Big power surges knock them out for the night.

1. Size does matter.

Woman had been married three times and was still a virgin.

Somebody asked her how that could be possible. "Well," she said. "The first time I married an octogenarian and he died before we could consummate the marriage." "The second time I married a naval officer and war broke out on our wedding day." "The third time I married a Microsoft Windows programmer and he just sat on the edge of the bed and kept telling me how good it was going to be."

Mr. Steve Johnson, a businessman from Wisconsin, went on a business trip to Louisiana.
He immediately sent an e-mail back home to his wife, Jennifer. Unfortunately, he mis-typed a letter, and the e-mail ended up going to a Mrs.
Joan Johnson, the wife of a preacher who had just passed away. The preacher's wife took one look at the e-mail and promptly fainted.
When she was finally revived, she nervously pointed to the message, which read: "Arrived safely, but it sure is hot down here."

While my brother-in-law was tapping away on his home computer, his ten-year-old daughter sneaked up behind him. Then she turned and ran into the kitchen, squealing to the rest of the family, "I know Daddy's password! I know Daddy's password!"

"What is it? her sisters asked eagerly.

Proudly she replied, "Asterisk, asterisk, asterisk, asterisk, asterisk!"

A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vise versa."

Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep.

The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00."

This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.

The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"

The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer. "Okay, " says the lawyer, "your turn".

She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"

The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the library of congress, no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mail to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the blonde, and hands her $500.00.

The blonde says, "Thank you, " and turns back to get some more sleep.

The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?"

Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.

A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing ''Love'' stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity gets the better of him and he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing.
I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'
But why? asks the man.
I'm a divorce lawyer.

One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating grass by the road side. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.

"Why are you eating grass?" he asked one man.
"We don't have any money for food." the poor man replied.
"Oh, come along with me then."
"But sir, I have a wife with two children!"
"Bring them along! And you, come with us too!", he said to the other man.
"But sir, I have a wife with six children!" the second man answered.
"Bring them as well!"

They all climbed into the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limo. Once underway, one of the poor fellows says, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."

The lawyer replied, "No problem, the grass at my home is about two feet tall!"

Good morning everyboomie. woot

For all practical purposes, it's Monday. Waa-Hoo rolleyes

Don't ask me about the 'impractical purposes'. snicker

It starts bright and early too. tired

Well it won't be very bright, but it WILL be early. blush

I won't be very bright that early either. rotfl

Have a happy day everyone and WELCOME TO THE WEEKEND!!! woot

There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats

#923345 - 11/08/13 07:54 PM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Administrator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 75188
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Joe, I hope the day goes smoothly for you. One day closer to another day off. hearts

I have a charity run for Operation Enduring Warrior today and then I have a double date at an Italian Soul Food All you can eat dinner where they bring the food to your table so you never have to get up. lol We have had reservations for awhile and are excited. It's an awesome Italian restaurant.

Have a happy day all!
Don't feed the Trolls

#923351 - 11/08/13 08:09 PM Re: Saturdiner [Re: BrownEyedTigre]
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 02/17/01
Posts: 15320
Loc: Upper Arlington, Ohio
Loved the lawyer jokes Joe. lol
It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.

#923393 - 11/09/13 02:32 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
Haroula Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 10027
Loc: Greece
Have a great day and a relax weekend. smile wave
I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".

#923400 - 11/09/13 04:51 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Offline
True Blue Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 22735
Loc: Marlborough USA
pumpkin Good Morning Joe, Ana, SpaceQ and Haroula. Funny funnies Joe! Ana sounds like a great day ahead for you! SpaceQ and Haroula enjoy your Saturday too. Coffee is ready. Happy day wished for All! pumpkin

#923407 - 11/09/13 05:35 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
Midge Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 04/30/00
Posts: 15609
Loc: Massachusetts
Good morning. I didn't sleep very well last night so I got up early but all you guys beat me. Morning Joe. Thanks for the openers. Hey Ana. Looks like you're in for a delicious meal. Enjoy. Hi SQFan, Haroula, and Gerry. I hope you all have a great Saturday and everyone who comes in after us. I have to work for 5:00 this afternoon.

Midgie hearts taz pumpkin catrub penguin woot puppy dance
Just do it.

#923408 - 11/09/13 06:55 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
connie Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/12/02
Posts: 10212
Loc: winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. Hubby and I are going to Oviedo to a day in the country. There will be crafts, food, and entertainment. pumpkin To all here and all who follow, have a Super Saturday. Danish, Waffles, and Pumpkin Pancakes in the NC. fall

#923411 - 11/09/13 07:46 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 07/06/07
Posts: 18262
Loc: Massachusetts
Morning Boomers

It's a sad morning. Just learned that Karen had to have her horse Mo Jo put down last night. She's needing a lot of prayers and comfort. sad

Edited by GBC (11/09/13 10:10 AM)

#923417 - 11/09/13 08:53 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
niteowl07 Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 11/06/05
Posts: 9029
Loc: the dusty desert
morning ,boomies !

i'm crying in my coffee for karen ,as i know just how awful that is. i'm sure she had no choice , and it was the only right thing to do ,but still so hard.

may get some laundry done today ,and hopefully a nap this afternoon without 20 interruptions - we'll see ! plan to visit with family ,and maybe a little gaming.

later , everyone.

Edited by niteowl07 (11/09/13 08:53 AM)

#923434 - 11/09/13 09:54 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: niteowl07]
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 02/17/01
Posts: 15320
Loc: Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good morning everyone. Have a great Saturday.
It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.

#923446 - 11/09/13 10:56 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
manxman Offline
True Blue Boomer

Registered: 07/23/02
Posts: 21229
Loc: Unionville
Hi boomers. Hope everyone is enjoying their Saturday smile
Sometimes lost is where you need to be. Just because you don't know your direction doesn't mean you don't have one.

#923460 - 11/09/13 11:15 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: manxman]
Darlene Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 02/10/00
Posts: 10366
Loc: Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Welcome to the weekend!

Ana, sounds like dinner is going to be fabulous! Enjoy!

Howdy, SQFan, Haroula, and Gerry! Have a great Saturdiner!

Hey, Midgie! Hope your day can bring some easy peasy time!

Hi, Connie! Sounds like a great time you have planned!

'Morning, Gail! Big hugs to Karen! hearts So very sad.

Niteowl, it sounds like a busy day for you. Hope you get your nap!

'Morning, manxman!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Our little Patches has her salon appointment today. She'll come home looking all furry and prancy! hearts

Alrighty, off to see what's afoot!
Woohoo and booyah! smile Have an easy peasy day!

#923468 - 11/09/13 11:25 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/10/06
Posts: 14623
Loc: northern Wisconsin
Joe thanks for the laughs this morning. May work go well and fly! Have a lovely day and sell those shovels. lol

Ana sounds like a lovely day for you! Good luck at the race and enjoy the fine dinning!! Have a lovely day!

Space, Haroula, gerry have a lovely day and enjoy the weekend!

Connie sounds like a lovely day is in store....enjoy!! Thanks for the treats.

Gail, Hugs and prayers for Karen. Such a hard thing to have to do and or go through. Have a lovely day!

niteowl sounds like a busy day planned. Have fun and hope you get some gaming in!!

Manxman have a lovely day!

Darlene have fun at the salon with Patches. Have a lovely day!


#923476 - 11/09/13 11:50 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: auntiegram]
Gimli Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 06/15/05
Posts: 2315
Loc: Switzerland
Good morning Boomies wave

Went AWOL again, didn't I?! lol I have so much to do still for the exhibition in Belgium in December. Customs problems of all things...

I hope you all are healthy. I had a 3-days flu, same as in Italy a few weeks ago. It leaves one so shaky....

I'am so sad for Karen. She has to endure so much in life. Hugs to you Karen kissy

Ana: regarding the blue adhesive tape: it works for me! Try it. Have a wonderful lunch in the Italian Restaurant. How did the run go?

All my love to all the Boomers

"You ask me what life is. That's like asking me what a carrot is. A carrot is a carrot is a carrot" (A. Chekhov)

#923486 - 11/09/13 12:17 PM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 9542
Loc: San Diego, CA
Big day today. Neighbor/friend/tenant's parents are coming to visit from Indiana after a drive across country seeing the sights. They have just finished some bus tour to Copper Canyon and somewhere in Mexico. Driving in from Arizona as we speak.

HE cleaned his house finally after 10 years. Not kidding. Threw out stuff, organized, washed, hung clothes in the closet (out of the huge pile in the corner of the bedroom). We discovered he actually has FLOORS under all that stuff! Wow. He even cleaned his stove top (after I gave him a huge bottle of 409. I told him it was an early Xmas gift. I'm so thrilled he decided to clean up in there. Was terrible, yukky, no where to sit, cat fur all over (and I mean LOTS) from cats who died years ago. Ahhh a clean house. I told him now he's set for the next 10 years. rotfl

Then, my sister is indeed driving down from Washington state with her new beau in his 32 foot 5th wheel/truck. I can't wait to meet Mr. Right. She really needed someone and especially after that 'romance scammer' she got duped by. Ugh. This guy is a local, respectable widower and it seems it's kismet. I sure hope so.

I'm on a campaign to get rid of those cars out front. SUV has been there for 9 days now without moving. I'm thinking the guy intends to just store it there forever. Might have 2 cars and the apartments charge? Dunno. Can't come up with a safe/suitable solution.

City ordinance prohibits parking past 72 hours so I could just call and have it towed, but that's not what I want. Bad things could happen. I'm really toying with just putting a note on his windshield saying to contact ME at my address. Shouldn't be hard to find, he's right out FRONT. AND now a second car is parking behind him (directly in front of my gate and mailbox) so now I have to see what goes with that. Hate when Landlords don't provide enough parking for their tenants. Maybe I'll ask mine to park out front and take up all the spots. I'd park mine out there if I wasn't afraid of damage and theft, etc. Ugh. No easy way on this one. Waiting it out.
WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.

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