GAMEBOOMERS provides you with all the latest PC adventure computer games information, forum, walkthroughs, reviews and news.
GB Reviews Latest & Upcoming Adventure Games GB Annual Game Lists GB Interviews

BAAGS

GB @ acebook

GB @ witter

About Us
Walkthroughs free games galore Independent Games World of Adventure Patches Game Publishers & Developers GameBoomers Store
Big Fish Games Homepage    
Page 1 of 2 1 2 >
Topic Options
#924593 - 11/14/13 11:24 PM TGIF
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 30151
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
"A proverb is a short sentence based on long experience."
Miguel de Cervantes
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The devil visited a lawyer's office and made him an offer. "I can arrange some things for you, " the devil said. "I'll increase your income five-fold. Your partners will love you; your clients will respect you; you'll have four months of vacation each year and live to be a hundred. All I require in return is that your wife's soul, your children's souls, and their children's souls rot in hell for eternity."

The lawyer thought for a moment and asked, "What's the catch?".
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Mexican bandit made a specialty of crossing the Rio Grande from time to time and robbing banks in Texas. Finally, a reward was offered for his capture, and an enterprising Texas ranger decided to track him down.

After a lengthy search, he traced the bandit to his favorite cantina, snuck up behind him, put his trusty six-shooter to the bandit's head, and said, "You're under arrest. Tell me where you hid the loot or I'll blow your brains out!"

But the bandit didn't speak English, and the Ranger didn't speak Spanish. Fortunately, a bilingual lawyer was in the saloon and translated the Ranger's message. The terrified bandit blurted out, in Spanish, that the loot was buried under the oak tree in back of the cantina.

"What did he say?" asked the Ranger.

The lawyer answered, "He said 'Get lost, Gringo. You wouldn't dare shoot me.'"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

An attorney telephoned the governor just after midnight, insisting that he talk to him regarding a matter of utmost urgency. An aide eventually agreed to wake up the governor.

"So, what is it?" grumbled the governor.

"Judge Garber has just died" said the attorney, "and I want to take his place."

Replied the governor "Well, its OK with me if its OK with the undertaker."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q: You're stranded in a deserted island with Attila the Hun, Adolf Hitler, and a lawyer. You have a revolver with two bullets. What do you do?
A: Shoot the lawyer twice!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was so cold last winter that I saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. To his dismay, there were thousands of people ahead of him in line to see St. Peter. To his surprise, St. Peter left his desk at the gate and came down the long line to where the lawyer was, and greeted him warmly. Then St. Peter and one of his assistants took the lawyer by the hands and guided him up to the front of the line, and into a comfortable chair by his desk. The lawyer said, "I don't mind all this attention, but what makes me so special?"

St. Peter replied, "Well, I've added up all the hours for which you billed your clients, and by my calculation you must be about 193 years old!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Dublin lawyer died in poverty and many barristers of the city subscribed to a fund for his funeral. The Lord Chief Justice of Orbury was asked to donate a shilling.
"Only a shilling?" said the Justice, "Only a shilling to bury an attorney? Here's a guinea; go and bury 20 of them."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You seem to have more than the average share of intelligence for a man of your background," sneered the lawyer at a witness on the stand.

"If I wasn't under oath, I'd return the compliment," replied the witness.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A lawyer named Strange was shopping for a tombstone. After he had made his selection, the stonecutter asked him what inscription he would like on it. "Here lies an honest man and a lawyer," responded the lawyer. "Sorry, but I can't do that," replied the stonecutter. "In this state, it's against the law to bury two people in the same grave. However, I could put ``here lies an honest lawyer" "But that won't let people know who it is" protested the lawyer. "Certainly will," retorted the stonecutter. "people will read it and exclaim, "That's Strange!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness. "Isn't it true," he bellowed, "that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?"

The witness stared out the window, as though he hadn't hear the question.

"Isn't it true that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?" the lawyer repeated loudly.

The witness still did not respond.

Finally, the judge leaned over and said, "Sir, please answer the question."

"Oh," the startled witness said, "I thought he was talking to you."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


NASA was interviewing professionals to be sent to Mars. Only one could go and couldn’t return to Earth.

The first applicant, an engineer, was asked how much he wanted to be paid for going. "A million dollars," he answered, "because I want to donate it to M.I.T."

The next applicant, a doctor, was asked the same question. He asked for $2 million. "I want to give a million to my family," he explained, "and leave the other million for the advancement of medical research."

The last applicant was a lawyer. When asked how much money he wanted, he whispered in the interviewer’s ear, "Three million dollars."

"Why so much more than the others?" asked the interviewer.

The lawyer replied, "If you give me $3 million, I’ll give you $1 million, I’ll keep $1 million, and we’ll send the engineer to Mars."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie! welcome

Did I post enough jokes today?

Actually I was kinda thinking it was the weekend, but it's not. oops

As you may have already suspected, IT'S FRIDAY! yay

Did I say that loud enough?

If I didn't you can......well you know, shave my head, cover me in wax, and use me for a surfboard. grin

I keep getting sidetracked from my line of thought. (G imagine that ) rolleyes

I was just going to mention that I post more jokes on the weekend because usually people have more time to read them then.

There!

That's all. duh

I don't want anyone getting stomach cramps from reading too many jokes, too fast, while drinking coffee at the same time, on the weekdays, when they're rushed. (Deep breath) crazy

They might be deeply disturbed about it, and I know how that feels.

I’m deeply disturbed most of the time.

The rest of the time I’m asleep. dance

Ok go forth and multiply......I mean go out and have a happy day.

joe
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

Top
#924595 - 11/14/13 11:50 PM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Online   happy
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 65768
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
lol I see vacation is treating you nicely. You sound much more chipper. grin I hope today is fantastic for you!

I will be in the corner, run the dogs, go pick up Hello Kitty tanks for Sam and I for a Hello Kitty dance off on Black Friday, and then out to dinner with hubby, Sam and SIL. yay All in all a great day I believe!

Have a wonderful day everyone.

Ana wave
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

Top
#924598 - 11/15/13 01:16 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
Haroula Online   happy
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 8102
Loc: Greece
Have a wonderful day Ana,Joe and all who come in later. wave
_________________________
Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.



Top
#924606 - 11/15/13 05:23 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 17612
Loc: Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe, Ana and Haroula. Joe have a great day! Ana sounds like a nice day ahead for you. Haroula enjoy your walk. Coffee and hot chocolate are ready! Wishing you all a wonderful Friday! wave
_________________________
Gerry

Top
#924616 - 11/15/13 06:13 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
GBC Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/06/07
Posts: 14783
Loc: Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers

Joe, enjoy your vacation.

Ana, hope your corner time runs smoothly.

Haroula, are you still walking?

Gerry, coffee? A big yes to that. Thanks.

Sue, are you doing okay?

Connie, good morning when you come in.

To everyone here and on their way in....a good day is wished.

Nothing to do today but game and read and relax. woot
_________________________
Gail

Top
#924618 - 11/15/13 06:29 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
connie Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 07/12/02
Posts: 8197
Loc: winter springs fl.
Good morning all my Diner buddies. To all here and all who stop in later, have a Great TGIF. I think we may go to the mall today. Danish, Bacon Sandwiches, and French Toast in the NC. fall
_________________________
Connie

Top
#924629 - 11/15/13 08:31 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
manxman Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 07/23/02
Posts: 15725
Loc: Unionville
Good morning boomers. wave Here's wishing everyone has a fantastic friday smile
_________________________
Sometimes lost is where you need to be. Just because you don't know your direction doesn't mean you don't have one.

Top
#924654 - 11/15/13 10:06 AM Re: TGIF [Re: manxman]
Darlene Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/10/00
Posts: 9479
Loc: Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Enjoy your TGIF!!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

It's Friday! rah

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!
_________________________
You become what you think about. Change your thoughts, change your life. - Dko

Top
#924689 - 11/15/13 12:13 PM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 42636
Loc: Alabama
Fantastic Friday ya'll puppy

Son got me up on his way out the door. I've been frantically slamming coffee in an attempt to kick start my brain as I've gotta go get the Cullybug in one second. We'll get home and be here for an hour and 1/2 and then back out the door to walk Keoki and pick up the Per.

Back later wave
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

Top
#924698 - 11/15/13 12:49 PM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
Lotus777 Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 03/12/06
Posts: 3270
Loc: Oregon
Good Morning Boomers!! I have been here everyday but don't know when I last posted in the Diner proper. We went on the twice monthly shop trip yesterday and procured an almost twenty pound turkey also. Having my Mum and brother and sister in law along with how many ever of their stray kids that show up for the big event. SIL is helping with the meal also so it should be fun and she is a very good cook!! Pretty chilly and supposed to rain later but nice outside now. I am off to do my most unfavorite chore in the world....vacuum. Ugh!! Happy Gaming Everyone!!! wave
_________________________
Lotus
Life is like a hot bath. It feels good while you’re in it, but the longer you stay in, the more wrinkled you get.

Top
#924700 - 11/15/13 01:18 PM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/10/06
Posts: 13804
Loc: northern Wisconsin
lol I had to laugh this morning. Called and got in to see the doc only to find out that I have shingles. Bummer. While I was there I stopped into the hospital to visit a lady from here as she had some heart surgery and was awaiting a nursing home bed but will really be going home next week.

While I was visiting I looked out her window and laughed.....there was snow on the mountain. lol She said ya they made it yesterday. Spirit Mountain, one of our ski areas, was getting ready for their opener which is around Thanksgiving. Only place around with snow.

Hope everybody is having a wonderful day!

Ana lovbe your daily plans, enjoy!!

Although, Gail, I also love your plans for the day!! Happy Gaming!

wave Haroula, Gerry, Connie Manxman, Darlene, L4l and Lotus! Have a lovely day!

wave
Nan

Top
#924710 - 11/15/13 02:08 PM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 42636
Loc: Alabama
Eek, Nan, shingles....I hope they were able to give you something for it.

Back from picking up the Cully. He and I had lunch. He is lying down...hopefully napping.....for an hour til we have to leave for the next pickup. It started raining as we got home, so I'm expecting no Keoki walking for us. wave
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

Top
#924713 - 11/15/13 02:12 PM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Online   happy
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 65768
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Oh Nan, hugs, hugs, hugs! I have had it twice, once on my face and once on my chest. It's so painful! I hope it goes away quickly for you. hearts

Ran the dogs, got Sam and I's Hello Kitty tanks and Tee for 5 dollars on clearance at Target, now going to shower and meet Sam at the mall. That was an unexpected addition to the day. yay The corner can wait. hearts
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

Top
#924724 - 11/15/13 02:49 PM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
Lotus777 Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 03/12/06
Posts: 3270
Loc: Oregon
Oooh Nan! I also hope you will get over this painful problem in a hurry!! Were you here saying hello to me yesterday Ana? I looked out a window and hovering next to the fuchsia was an Annas Hummingbird. Sooo beautiful. I thought of you Ana even thought the spelling differs. It came closer and closer til it was a few inches from the window. What a beautiful moment shared with a charming tyke!! Then off it sped to the south. Many stop here to drink the nectar before continuing their migration. Some take up residence for a few days and zealously try to guard the fuchsia. smile
_________________________
Lotus
Life is like a hot bath. It feels good while you’re in it, but the longer you stay in, the more wrinkled you get.

Top
#924726 - 11/15/13 03:13 PM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Online   happy
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 65768
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Lotus, I am always there in spirit. hearts It sounds beautiful!
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

Top
Page 1 of 2 1 2 >

Moderator:  BrownEyedTigre, looney4labs 

Who's Online
Key: Admin Global Mod Mod Staff  )
14 registered (dorish, curly, CaptainD, Draclvr, kjos, Chief, Haroula, BrownEyedTigre, 2 invisible), 81 Guests and 13 Spiders online.
Newest Members
Elentgirl, tiathyme, Mr_Underhill, Lani, Rachissa
8581 Registered Users