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Sunday Morning Sunshine #924898
11/17/13 01:46 AM
11/17/13 01:46 AM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
Mark Twain
~~~~~~~~~

There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.

Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."

"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away."

"I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One morning a blind bunny was hopping down the bunny trail, and he tripped over a large snake and fell, KerPlop!, right on his twitchy little nose. "Oh, please excuse me!" said the bunny. "I didn't mean to trip over you, but I'm blind and can't see."
"That's perfectly all right," replied the snake. "To be sure, it was my fault. I didn't mean to trip you, but I'm blind too, and I didn't see you coming. By the way, what kind of animal are you?"
"Well, I really don't know," said the bunny. "I'm blind, and I've never seen myself. Maybe you could examine me and find out."
So the snake felt the bunny all over, and he said, "Well, you're soft, and cuddly, and you have long silky ears, and a little fluffy tail and a dear twitchy little nose... You must be a bunny rabbit!"
Then he said, "I can't thank you enough, but by the way, what kind of animal are you?"
And the snake replied that he didn't know, and the bunny agreed to examine him, and when he was finished, the snake said, "Well, what kind of an animal am I?"
So the bunny felt the snake all over, and he replied, "You're hard, you're cold, you're slimy... You must be a lawyer."
~~~~~~~~~~~~


A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW.

"Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeemer!!!", he whined.

"You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!!!" retorted the officer, "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!!!"

"Oh my gaaad....", replied the lawyer, finally noticing the bloody left shoulder where his arm once was, "Where's my Rolex???!!!!!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A minister and lawyer were chatting at a party:

"What do you do if you make a mistake on a case?" the minister asked.

"Try to fix it if it's big; ignore it if it's insignificant," replied the lawyer.

"What do you do?"

The minister replied, "Oh, more or less the same. Let me give you an example. The other day I meant to say 'the devil is the father of liars,' but instead I said 'the devil is the father of lawyers,' so I let it go."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Don't shoot I'm only the delivery man

How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.

Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will never Be able to support you.

Why do women have smaller feet than men? So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.

How do you know when a woman's about to say something smart? When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."

How do you fix a woman's watch? You don't. There's a clock on the oven!

Why do men pass gas more than women do? Because women won't shut up long enough to build up pressure.

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, which do you let in first? The dog of course...at least he'll shut up after you let him in.

All wives are alike, but they have different faces so you can tell them apart.

What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig? A woman that won't do what she's told.

What do you call a woman with two brain cells? Pregnant.

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was always.

I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months - I don't like to interrupt her.

What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence? Divorced.

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Some say monogamy is the same.

Scientists have discovered one certain food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%...wedding cake
~~~~~~~~~~~


At the conclusion of the trial, the jury found the defendant Howard Smokey not guilty. His lawyer congratulated him, then handed him a bill.

Mr. Smokey looked at the bill and gulped. "This says I have to pay ten thousand dollars now and five hundred a month for the next five years! It sounds like I'm buying a Mercedes-Benz!"

The lawyer smiled. "You are."
~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie. welcome

Let's see, what day is this, Sunday, or the day after yesterday? think

When you're on vacation the days seem to run together.

I need to take one of those, one of these days. razz

I almost feel like a youngster tonight.

It's 11:30 and I don't even feel tired yet. penguin

I could even stay up until a quarter past 11:45.......or so. happydance

It just seems like a waste of a perfectly good bed though.

Coincidentally, I'm watching Lord of the Rings and Arwen just now told Aregon to go to sleep. sleep

She could have been talking to me psychically. yes

I actually have a very strong desire to go to sleep now.

I think I must be highly suggestible.

I hope she doesn't tell him to go jump off a cliff. eek

I should be ok though cause we don't have any cliffs around here, unless she tells him to drive until he finds one.

I don't think she'll do that cause they didn't have cars in LOTR. Thank God!

Have a happy day everyone.

joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Sunday Morning Sunshine [Re: gymcandy1] #924903
11/17/13 03:54 AM
11/17/13 03:54 AM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Haroula Offline
Adept Boomer
Haroula  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Have a happy Sunday Joe lol and all who come in later. smile wave


I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".

Re: Sunday Morning Sunshine [Re: gymcandy1] #924905
11/17/13 05:54 AM
11/17/13 05:54 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe and Haroula. Joe enjoy your vacation. Haroula are you walking today? Coffee is ready. Enjoy your day everyone! pumpkin


Gerry
Re: Sunday Morning Sunshine [Re: gymcandy1] #924915
11/17/13 07:41 AM
11/17/13 07:41 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers

Joe, sounds like you're enjoying your vacation.

Haroula, I think it's your afternoon so good afternoon. smile

Gerry, Good morning and thanks for the coffee.

Church this morning then we're staying after for a luncheon. Wishing everyone a wonderful Sunday. fall

Last edited by GBC; 11/17/13 07:42 AM.

Gail
Re: Sunday Morning Sunshine [Re: gymcandy1] #924916
11/17/13 07:43 AM
11/17/13 07:43 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. Breakfast out and a trip to Sam's this morning. To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful Sunday. Danish, Omelets, Bacon, Ham, Sausage, BB Pancakes, Hash Browns, Toast, and Hot Chocolate in the NC. fall


Connie
Re: Sunday Morning Sunshine [Re: gymcandy1] #924924
11/17/13 11:01 AM
11/17/13 11:01 AM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
No sunshine just rain here. woozy

Have a great sunday everyone. thumbsup


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Sunday Morning Sunshine [Re: gymcandy1] #924925
11/17/13 11:08 AM
11/17/13 11:08 AM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,661
Alabama
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
soot  Offline
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,661
Alabama
Good morning GB SMS Gang laugh

Low profile day in store for me .. surfing, sippin coffee, gaming with L4L and whale music .. just doesn't get much better

Wishing all of you a wonderful Sunday!!

L4L hearts

wave


Dan
...
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music Stay Smart & Stay Safe
Re: Sunday Morning Sunshine [Re: gymcandy1] #924928
11/17/13 11:19 AM
11/17/13 11:19 AM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Ahhhh noisy morning...boys up in full boy mode. Dad is home today though. Football watching later. Right now trying to convince my brain that we are "up." So far, it is Not getting the message. wave


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Sunday Morning Sunshine [Re: gymcandy1] #924941
11/17/13 12:25 PM
11/17/13 12:25 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,268
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,268
In the Naughty Corner
I found out what happens if hubby and I do not set the alarm for a change. We don't get up! rotfl
Hubby has a cold and I have been fighting it for day and refusing delivery so it felt good to sleep.

We have sideways rain, high winds and tornado warnings out there so it's not looking good for my puppies to run today unless it takes a break.

Have an awesome day! Be back after I get some coffee in me.


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Sunday Morning Sunshine [Re: gymcandy1] #924942
11/17/13 12:25 PM
11/17/13 12:25 PM
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 11,505
Kirkwood, MO USA
flutist Offline
Adept Boomer
flutist  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 11,505
Kirkwood, MO USA
Good morning all.

We are under a tornado watch till 4. Right. With a 40% chance of rain?

As far as I know, we are going over to Susie's for dinner unless she calls and says she is having a bad day. Hope not. She has been much better since the doc upped her meds.

Gotta go do my treadmill as soon as Bill gets off.

Have a wonderful day everyone.

Bets


Corgis fill your life with Joy, your heart with Love, and your soul with Sunshine.
Re: Sunday Morning Sunshine [Re: gymcandy1] #924949
11/17/13 01:20 PM
11/17/13 01:20 PM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist
Sorta Blonde  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
My days are getting all mixed up with all the 'fun' around here. So far it's a quiet morning. Shouldn't have said that, now it's probably going to get hectic.

In the Parking Wars: That Silver SUV is still there, I'm hoping parking enforcement comes by Tomorrow and tags it. They will leave a note to the owner to remove it within a specified time and then tow it if it's still there.

BUT that little Silver Sedan, which loved parking directly in front of my front gate (obscuring my view on the security camera there), did not park there on Friday night! He parked in front of the SUV, which is a much nicer place for me. Still on my frontage, but off to the side. I was waiting for him to move it all day. Nothing.

Went to bed, woke up to find...tada...(guess), the Silver Sedan NOT in front of my gate, NOT in front of the SUV, but instead across the street in front of the neighbor's house! Amazing. He either moved it after 11pm or early this morning.

I'm wondering if it had something to do with me yelling (for the 2nd) time at the gal in the huge Cadillac who parks out front specifically to walk down 2 houses to buy drugs. Can't believe she actually pulled in a day after the first 'request'. So in she comes, I go out, she's getting out of the car and sees me and says, "I guess I can't park here, right?" I said right and that there are more open spaces closer and across the street and I need this area for MY tenants. They do recognize Landlord stuff around here. Of course I can't legally enforce it, but their landlord at the apartments is a nasty, take charge, toe the line, sort of guy. So maybe they will equate me with him and we will all be happy.

Anyway, she moved immediately, BUT didn't pull in to any of the spots nearer, but instead gunned the car and zoomed up the street never to be seen again. Do you think she's on to me, being on to her, about the drug buying? rotfl Either that or she just got mad and went off to get her friends and was coming back to shoot up my house. No gunshots and never saw the car again last night or this morning yet. Maybe I'm winning. Maybe.

Off to 'inspect' the empty house to see if I have to call Hazmat again. Sigh. If it wasn't for THEM telling me to call, I'd just ignore it all. But I told the guy I would and he's being really good about getting the police involved and re-securing everything each time he comes.

I've gotta get a life (another one) where I just sleep all day and are oblivious to anything happening outside my house. Dream dream dream.


WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.
Re: Sunday Morning Sunshine [Re: gymcandy1] #924950
11/17/13 01:20 PM
11/17/13 01:20 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Eeek guys, stay safe puppy


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Sunday Morning Sunshine [Re: gymcandy1] #924951
11/17/13 01:22 PM
11/17/13 01:22 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,268
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,268
In the Naughty Corner
We have tornadoes touching down southwest of us already. i may be shutting down any time.


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Sunday Morning Sunshine [Re: gymcandy1] #924952
11/17/13 01:22 PM
11/17/13 01:22 PM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer
auntiegram  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
Joe I think you are enjoying your mini vacastion. happydance Have a lovely day!

Haroula hope the weather is better so you and hubby may waljk today! Have a lovely day!@

Gerry thanks for the hot drink! Have a nice walk and a lovely day!

Connie enjoy breakfast out and have fun shopping! Thanks for the treats.

Gail enjoy church and have fun at the luncheon!! Have a lovely day!

Aw Space sorry about the rain but at least it's not white. lol Have a lovely day!

Soot may you days plans go the way that you want for them to go! Have a lovely day!

L4l hopefully the coffee does the trick soon for ya! Enjoy the games. Have a lovely day!

Ana nasty weather like that and you should be able to work on the project, which I hope is moving right along for ya. Have a lovely day and glad you both slept in!!

Bets be careful out there when you head over to Susies for to eat! Have a lovely day. HUGS!

wave
Nan

Re: Sunday Morning Sunshine [Re: gymcandy1] #924954
11/17/13 01:31 PM
11/17/13 01:31 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,268
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,268
In the Naughty Corner
Nan, I finished last night! yay It's a free day for me but the weather is atrocious. We lost satellite already and hubby is not happy because he wants to watch the Bears.

I unplugged my gaming computer already and this one is next.


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Sunday Morning Sunshine [Re: gymcandy1] #924955
11/17/13 01:31 PM
11/17/13 01:31 PM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist
Sorta Blonde  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Stay safe Ana and flutist! I'm humming "over the Rainbow' in your honor.


WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.
Re: Sunday Morning Sunshine [Re: Sorta Blonde] #924956
11/17/13 01:43 PM
11/17/13 01:43 PM
Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
Darlene Offline
Adept Boomer
Darlene  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Have a great Sunday Morning Sunshine day!

To all having nasty weather, please stay safe!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Son, DIL, and grandbabies over for dinner. happydance

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!


Woohoo and booyah! smile Have an easy peasy day!
Re: Sunday Morning Sunshine [Re: gymcandy1] #924960
11/17/13 02:07 PM
11/17/13 02:07 PM
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 3,295
Oregon
Lotus777 Offline
Addicted Boomer
Lotus777  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 3,295
Oregon
Oh My!!! Hi Boomies!! Ana and Bets, please stay safe. Do you have basements? If you think I dislike high winds Ana...I would be in a panic about now if I were you!!! We are supposed to get some "wind" tomorrow night at 30 MPH. We probably won't be much aware of that! I will keep all int he paths of these storms in my prayers. Still have some apples stored that need to be turned into desserts and applesauce so that is my day. Glad GB is back and running. You rock MaG!!! Hope all of you have a great day and Happy Gaming everyone!! wave


Lotus
Life is like a hot bath. It feels good while you’re in it, but the longer you stay in, the more wrinkled you get.
Re: Sunday Morning Sunshine [Re: gymcandy1] #924990
11/17/13 05:21 PM
11/17/13 05:21 PM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Haroula Offline
Adept Boomer
Haroula  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
sleep wave


I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".

Re: Sunday Morning Sunshine [Re: gymcandy1] #925001
11/17/13 07:44 PM
11/17/13 07:44 PM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist
Sorta Blonde  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
I've SOLVED one of my mysteries! That little silver Sedan that's been parking in front of my front gate for 2 weeks now (off and on, mostly on) showed up just a few ago. He parked smack dab in front of my gate even though there was NO one else parked on the street anywhere in this block. Yup.

Soooo I gathered up all my courage. Told myself that the worst that could happen was he would yell at me or tell me to mind my own business, etc. Well, he was on his cell phone and I just walked up to his passenger door and motioned for him to roll down the window. He did and we had a nice chat.

Solution: The SUV that I was going to have towed IS indeed HIS. He 'brought it down from his mother's house'. It does have plate frames from up North somewhere. I told him I'd asked everyone where he lives and nobody knew whose it was. He promised to move it after I enlightened him about No parking longer than 3 days and about the expired tags. He said he HAS the tags so I said to put them on. I guess I over estimate the intelligence of people. I told him I will cancel the City tow (but I'm not gonna do it until he moves it), I'm not 'that' blonde! So I was right, the two vehicles were indeed connected. I'm writing that in my 'things I was right about book'. rotfl

And he gladly moved his little silver car up where I indicated. I explained I have security cameras and it was blocking my view. It's the honest truth. It does block my view of the street. Oh well. Hopefully I will see the SUV gone by tonight. If not, the City can drag it away.

Hooray! Persistence and a lot of agonizing did the trick. I will be vigilant about any other parkers until I see some normalcy returning. This hasn't happened in 35 years. Guess it was time.

I'm a happy camper again for awhile. penguin bravo happydance


WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.
Re: Sunday Morning Sunshine [Re: gymcandy1] #925006
11/17/13 08:19 PM
11/17/13 08:19 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,268
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,268
In the Naughty Corner
Lotus, we are safe but there was a dozen tornadoes that touched down with lives lost sadly. sad
No basement, I live in a ranch house, one floor.

Sorta, glad you took care of one situation. yay

I made a huge pot of Chicken vegetable soup. just finished and waiting for it to cool down and put it away.

Are we having fun yet?


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Sunday Morning Sunshine [Re: gymcandy1] #925011
11/17/13 09:35 PM
11/17/13 09:35 PM
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 3,295
Oregon
Lotus777 Offline
Addicted Boomer
Lotus777  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 3,295
Oregon
Ana, I'm so glad to hear that, you have been in my thoughts all day!! hearts Nothing from Bets yet, though. From what I could see it wasn't as bad in MO?? I would Need a basement if I lived anywhere near tornado country. Heck, I Need a basement here!! Ok, back to my book...been on a reading marathon. woozy


Lotus
Life is like a hot bath. It feels good while you’re in it, but the longer you stay in, the more wrinkled you get.
Re: Sunday Morning Sunshine [Re: gymcandy1] #925017
11/17/13 11:24 PM
11/17/13 11:24 PM
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Midge Offline
Graduate Boomer
Midge  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
just checking in to say good night. I have another early morning shift. Sleep tight all. Ana my prayers that you and your family are safe.

Night all. See you in the AM.

Midgie hearts sleep


Just do it.
Re: Sunday Morning Sunshine [Re: gymcandy1] #925018
11/17/13 11:52 PM
11/17/13 11:52 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Ana, glad you are safe.

We are all off to bed. Sweet dreams guys sleep


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Sunday Morning Sunshine [Re: gymcandy1] #925019
11/17/13 11:59 PM
11/17/13 11:59 PM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer
auntiegram  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
Stay safe all of you who may be in the path of the storms. No sun here today and a little rain but nothing like else where!

Time to head for bed. Night all sleep well and pleasant dreams.

sleep
Nan

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