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#925449 - 11/19/13 08:54 PM Hump Day
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 29789
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
My wife and I tried to breakfast together, but we had to stop or our marriage would have been wrecked.
Winston Churchill
~~~~~~~~~~

Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter.

The man at the counter asked the older boy, "Son, how old are you?"

"Eight," the boy replied.

The man continued, "Do you know what these are used for?"

The boy replied, "Not exactly, but they aren't for me. They're for him. He's my brother. He's four. We saw on TV that if you use these, you would be able to swim and ride a bike. Right now, he can't do either one. "
~~~~~~~~~~

Two kids are arguing over whose father is the biggest scaredy-cat.

The first kid says, "My dad is so scared that when lightning strikes, he hides underneath the bed."

The second kid replies,"Yeah? Well, that's nothing. My dad is so scared that when my mom has to work the nightshift, he sleeps with the lady next door."
~~~~~~~~~

A Jamaican man bought a round of drinks for everyone in the bar,
announcing that his wife had just given birth to "a typical
Jamaican baby boy weighing 20 pounds."

Congratulations showered him from all around, and many
exclamations of "Wow!" were heard. A woman fainted due to sympathy
pains.

Two weeks later, he returned to the bar. The bartender said, "Say,
you're the father of the Jamaican baby who weighed 20 pounds at
birth. How much does he weigh now?"

The proud father answered, "Fifteen pounds."

The bartender was puzzled. "Why? What happened? He weighed 20
pounds at birth?"

The Jamaican father took a slow sip from his Red Stripe beer,
wiped his lips on his shirtsleeve, leaned into the bartender and
said, "Had him circumcised."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower.

She said, "Mummy, you are getting fat!"

I replied, "Yes, honey, remember Mummy has a baby growing in her tummy."

"But what's growing in your behind mommy?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

An older couple had a son, who was still living with them. The parents were a little worried, as the son was still unable to decide about his career path, so they decided to do a small test.

They took a ten-dollar bill, a Bible, and a bottle of whiskey, and put them on the front hall table. Then they hid, hoping he would think they weren't at home.

The father told the mother, "If he takes the money, he will be a businessman; if he takes the Bible, he will be a priest; but if he takes the bottle of whiskey, I'm afraid our son will be a drunkard."

So the parents took their place in the nearby closet and waited nervously, peeping through the keyhole they saw their son arrive home.

He saw the note they had left, saying they'd be home later. Then, he took the 10-dollar bill, looked at it against the light, and slid it in his pocket. After that, he took the Bible, flicked through it, and took it also. Finally, he grabbed the bottle, opened it, and took an appreciative whiff to be assured of the quality, then he left for his room carrying all the three items.

The father slapped his forehead, and said, "SHOOT! It's even worse than I ever imagined..."

"What do you mean?" his wife inquired.

"He's gonna be a politician."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie. welcome

Break's over and back to work for this slacker. razz

At 6:00am today these feet are hitting the pavement again. happydance

A mailman going to work barefooted in August couldn't be less excited. rolleyes

Really I'm ready to get back at it.

I didn't get everything I wanted done while I was off, but I got a good start on it. yes

I didn't have enough time to rent a truck and haul my sister's bedroom to a storage place like I planned. sad

She even went out of town over the weekend. taz

Oh well, there's always next time. grin

Have a happy day everyone.

joe
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

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#925450 - 11/19/13 09:10 PM Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
Space Quest Fan Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/17/01
Posts: 9085
Loc: Columbus,Ohio USA
Have a great Wednesday Joe. thumbsup
_________________________
It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.

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#925463 - 11/19/13 10:51 PM Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
Midge Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 04/30/00
Posts: 14472
Loc: Massachusetts
Thanks Joe for your openers. Hi SQFan. I hope everyone has a great day. I'm traveling in the morning to see my Mom. See you when I get back.

Midgie hearts
_________________________
Just do it.

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#925471 - 11/19/13 11:16 PM Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 63388
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Have a wonderful day Joe, Space, Midgie and all. Vet day for Merlin so fingers crossed please and thank you.

Ana hearts
_________________________
How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

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#925480 - 11/20/13 02:04 AM Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
Haroula Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 6918
Loc: Greece
Have a great Wednesday Joe,Space, Midgie,Ana and all. wave
Midgie drive safe. smile
Ana luck with the vet. yes
I'm sick number two.Back to bed with some tea. sick
_________________________
As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.





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#925487 - 11/20/13 04:50 AM Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 16324
Loc: Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe, SpaceQ, Midgie, Ana and Haroula. Joe you do make me smile. SpaceQ enjoy your day. Midgie have a lovely day with your Mom. Ana keeping my fingers crossed that all goes well for Merlin at the vet. Haroula I hope you fell better. Some lemon and honey in that tea will help. Coffee and hot chocolate ready to consume! Have a peaceful day everyone. catrub
_________________________
Gerry

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#925496 - 11/20/13 06:44 AM Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
GBC Online   content
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/06/07
Posts: 13767
Loc: Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers

Joe, your sister must have one great sense of humor.

Space, good morning.

Midgie, hugs to your Mom. Drive safely.

Ana, hugs to Merlin. Hope all goes well.

Haroula, good day wished.

Gerry, thanks for the coffee. Have a great day!

Sue, hugs!

To all who enter I'm wishing a wonderful Wednesday! Daughter coming to visit this morning with grandbaby. Family night at church tonight.
_________________________
Gail

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#925501 - 11/20/13 06:52 AM Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
manxman Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/23/02
Posts: 13934
Loc: Unionville
Good morning boomers. Hope everyone has a wonderful wednesday smile
_________________________
Sometimes lost is where you need to be. Just because you don't know your direction doesn't mean you don't have one.

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#925535 - 11/20/13 10:04 AM Re: Hump Day [Re: manxman]
Darlene Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/10/00
Posts: 9153
Loc: Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Hope your day back to work goes easy peasy!

'Morning, SQFan!

Hey, Midige! kissy Safe travels to see your Mum!

Ana, fingers crossed for your Merlin! hearts

Hi, Haroula! Feel better! smile

'Morning, Gerry!

Hey, Gail! Enjoy your day!

Howdy, manxman!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!
_________________________
You become what you think about. Change your thoughts, change your life. - Dko

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#925542 - 11/20/13 10:39 AM Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 41491
Loc: Alabama
Morning Boomies and Boomettes....It's cold in AL and I have to go out to the vet. Taking the 2 youngsters to the vet for routine shots and check ups. Son just left, hubby had to be in early, and I'll be leaving as soon as I post. wave
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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#925549 - 11/20/13 12:01 PM Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/10/06
Posts: 13280
Loc: northern Wisconsin
Got up and had to rush off cause I heard the vampire was hungry, so I went to feed him. lol

Joe thanks for the laughs. May work go well and time fly! Have a lovely day!

Space have a lovely day!

Midge praying the Band around you as you travel. Have a lovely day and visit with ,your mom! HUGS!

Aw Haroula HUGS! Prayers that you are feeling better soonest!!

Gerry thanks for the coffee and hot chocolate! Ummmm! Have a lovely day!

Ana best of luck to Merlin and the Vet!

Gail have a lovely visit and enjoy family night tonight!! Have a lovely day!

Manxman have a lovely day!

L4l good luck with the Vet trip!!

Darlene may all go smoothly and the day fly! Have a lovely day!

wave
Nan

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#925568 - 11/20/13 02:17 PM Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 41491
Loc: Alabama
Wow, they were slow today. Appointmet at 10:15 and didn't get out of there til 11:30. Then home to grab Keoki and take him for his therapy walk. It is nice and sunny out there, but windy so I was glad that I wore my sweats.

Home for lunch and now time to sit and relax a bit. puppy
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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#925574 - 11/20/13 02:38 PM Re: Hump Day [Re: auntiegram]
Drmojo Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 12/04/04
Posts: 1737
Loc: Washington In the Wet corner
Hey ya Boom Boom Buddies~

Hi Jor Thanks for the snicker
have a nice day~ find any arrowheads lately??

Hi space have a great day wave

Hi Midgie~ have a safe trip to yout mama's
will be Praying for her and you too hearts

Hi Haroula hope you have a nice day~

Hi ya Gerry~ hope you have a nice day catrub

Hi Ana Praying the Merlin will be fine
he's a tough doggie hearts


Hey ya buddy Gail have fun with Nina and
the grendbabies rotfl have fun at
church tonight

Hi ya L4L how atr you feeling? how
many timesa year do you get your
dogs shots??

Hi Darleen how atr you? have a nice day`

Hi ya Nan~ man we got some chilly willy cold
here last night and today, it got down to
23% last night and today is 30% brrrrrr


Have a nice day boomers~ Karen pumpkin fall pumpkin
_________________________
OSO live
OSO Love
++OSO Strong++



Peace be with you~

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#925587 - 11/20/13 04:06 PM Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
Haroula Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 6918
Loc: Greece
sleep wave
_________________________
As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.





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#925589 - 11/20/13 04:10 PM Re: Hump Day [Re: Haroula]
Space Quest Fan Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/17/01
Posts: 9085
Loc: Columbus,Ohio USA
Good afternoon everyone!
_________________________
It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.

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