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#937887 - 01/31/14 12:06 AM IT'S FRIDAY!!
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 29943
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time". So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
- Stephen Wright
~~~~~~~~~~


An old guy and his son had a one-mule farm where they eked out a living. One day, the son hit the lottery and won $50,000. He rushed into town, collected his money, then hurried back home, where he told his father the good news, and handed him $50 bill.
The father looked at the money for a moment and then said, "Son, you know I've always been careful with what little money we had. I didn't spend it on whiskey or women. In fact, I couldn't even afford a license to legally marry your Ma."
"Pa!" the son exclaims, "do you know what that makes me?"
"Sure do," said the old guy fingering the fifty-dollar bill. "And a cheap one at that."
~~~~~~~~

The World Shortest Books

-"My Plan To Find The Real Killers" by O.J. Simpson
- The Difference between Reality and Dilbert
- Human Rights Advances in China
- "Things I Wouldn't Do for Money" by Dennis Rodman
- Al Gore: The Wild Years
- Amelia Earhart's Guide to the Pacific Ocean
- America's Most Popular Lawyers
- Career Opportunities for Liberal Arts Majors
- Detroit - A Travel Guide
- Different Ways to Spell "Bob"
- Dr. Kevorkian's Collection of Motivational Speeches
- Easy UNIX
- Ethiopian Tips on World Dominance
- Everything Men Know About Women
- Everything Women Know About Men
- French Hospitality
- "The Book of Virtues" by Bill Clinton
- George Foreman's Big Book of Baby Names
- "How to Sustain a Musical Career" by Art Garfunkel
- Mike Tyson's Guide to Dating Etiquette
- "One Hundred and One Spotted Owl Recipes" by the EPA
- Staple Your Way to Success
- The Amish Phone Directory
- The Engineer's Guide to Fashion
~~~~~~~~~

There was a man who had worked all of his life and had saved all of his money and was a real miser when it came to his money.

He loved money more than just about anything.

Just before he died, he said to his wife, "Now listen. When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the afterlife with me.

He made her promise with all her heart that when he died, she would put all of the money in the casket with him.

Well, he died. He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting there in black, and her friend was sitting next to her.

When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said, "Wait just a minute!' She had a box with her, she came over with the box and put it in the casket.

Then the undertakers locked the casket down, and they rolled it away. So her friend said, "Girl, I know you weren't fool enough to put all that money in there with your husband!"

She said, "Listen, I'm a Christian. I can't go back on my word. I promised him that I was gonna put that money in that casket with him.

"You mean to tell me you really put that money in the casket with him!!!!?

"I sure did," said the wife. "I wrote him a check."

Never Underestimate The Intelligence of a Woman
~~~~~~


A guy's on the electric chair. The warden's just about to pull the switch
when the guy gets the hiccups. The warden says, "Do you have any last
requests?" The guy says, "(hic) Yeah... (hic) could you please do (hic)
could you please do something to scare me?"
~~~~~~~~

There were once two people travelling on a train, a scientist and a poet, who were riding in the same compartment. They had never met before, so naturally, there wasn't much conversation between the two.
The poet was minding his own business, looking out the window at the beauty of the passing terrain. The scientist was very uptight, trying to think of things he didn't know so he could try to figure them out.

Finally, the scientist was so bored, that he said to the poet, "Hey, do you want to play a game?"

The poet, being content with what he was doing, ignored him and continued looking out the window, humming quietly to himself. This infuriated the scientist, who irritably asked again, "Hey, you, do you want to play a game? I'll ask you a question, and if you get it wrong, you give me $5. Then, YOU ask ME a question, and if I can't answer it, I'll give YOU $5."

The poet thought about this for a moment, but he decided against it, seeing that the scientist was obviously a very bright man. He politely turned down the scientist's offer.

The scientist, who, by this time was going mad, tried a final time. "Look, I'll ask you a question, and if you can't answer it, you give me $5. Then you ask ME a question, and if I can't answer it, I'll give you $50!"

Now, the poet was not that smart academically, but he wasn't totally stupid. He readily accepted the offer. "Okay," the scientist said, "what is the EXACT distance between the Earth and the Moon?"

The poet, obviously not knowing the answer, didn't stop to think about the scientist's question. He took a $5 bill out of his pocket and handed it to the scientist. The scientist happily accepted the bill and promptly said, "Okay, now it's your turn."

The poet thought about this for a few minutes, then asked, "All right, what goes up a mountain on three legs, but comes down on four?" The bright glow quickly vanished from the scientist's face. He thought about this for a long time, taking out his notepad and making numerous calculations. He finally gave up on his notepad and took out his laptop, using his Multimedia Encyclopedia.

After about an hour of this, the poet quietly watching the mountains of Colorado go by the whole time, the scientist FINALLY gave up. He reluctantly handed the poet a $50 bill. The poet accepted it graciously, turning back to the window.

"Wait!" the scientist shouted. "You can't do this to me! What's the answer??"

The poet looked at the scientist and calmly put another $5 bill into his hand.
~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie. welcome

Finally made it to a day off. Buddy and me are going to Soper to hunt with metal detectors, and see if we can find any buried treasure. happydance

Maybe we'll find Jessie James's second cousin's, aunt's, hair dresser's, buried bobby pin stash. razz

Ah well, it's something to do on a nice day off. duh

Maybe I'll get to hunt some arrowheads too. woot

Hope you all have a super-la-tive type of day. thumbsup

joe
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

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#937890 - 01/31/14 01:38 AM Re: IT'S FRIDAY!! [Re: gymcandy1]
Haroula Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 7479
Loc: Greece
Have a great day everyone. smile wave
_________________________

Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.



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#937897 - 01/31/14 04:16 AM Re: IT'S FRIDAY!! [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 16861
Loc: Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe and haroula and sue too. Joe have a fun day off. Hope you find some treasures and arrowheads! Haroula have a nice day. Sue I put the coffee and hot Chocolate on! Enjoy your Friday everyone! broccoli
_________________________
Gerry

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#937912 - 01/31/14 05:58 AM Re: IT'S FRIDAY!! [Re: gymcandy1]
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 03/07/09
Posts: 5329
Loc: Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Have a great Friday Joe, Haroula, Gerry and all who come in after me. wave

I'm off for a very short day of work, but I'll take the hours I can get at this point. woozy Hope everyone has a terrific Friday. winter

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#937917 - 01/31/14 06:39 AM Re: IT'S FRIDAY!! [Re: gymcandy1]
connie Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 07/12/02
Posts: 7979
Loc: winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. Hubby has an MRI this morning. It's raining, something different. To all here and all who follow, have a Great TGIF. Danish, Bear Claws, and Muffins in the NC. winter
_________________________
Connie

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#937936 - 01/31/14 08:36 AM Re: IT'S FRIDAY!! [Re: connie]
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 29943
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
Good morning everybody. wave

I'm off to follow the yellow brick road, and see if it turns to gold. yay

Have a super day. rah RAH RAH


joe wink
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

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#937937 - 01/31/14 09:00 AM Re: IT'S FRIDAY!! [Re: gymcandy1]
GBC Online   content
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/06/07
Posts: 14236
Loc: Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers

Joe, good luck on the hunt.

Haroula, have a nice day!

Gerry, thanks for the coffee.

Sue, there's still some coffee left for you.

Venus, enjoy your day!

Connie, good vibes sent along for Hubby's MRI. Hugs!

Joe, have fun!

No appointments today. Will walk the dogs then read and game this afternoon. rah
_________________________
Gail

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#937949 - 01/31/14 10:04 AM Re: IT'S FRIDAY!! [Re: GBC]
Darlene Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/10/00
Posts: 9298
Loc: Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Hope you find wonderful treasures today!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

It's Friday!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!
_________________________
You become what you think about. Change your thoughts, change your life. - Dko

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#937981 - 01/31/14 11:43 AM Re: IT'S FRIDAY!! [Re: gymcandy1]
MaG Offline
Administrator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 12/28/99
Posts: 65686
kitty

blackkitty

frenchie

bulldog

lab
NO - I am NOT biased on puppies. NO!

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#937984 - 01/31/14 11:51 AM Re: IT'S FRIDAY!! [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 42073
Loc: Alabama
Fantastic Friday ya'll puppy

Sunny and bright day out. Boys will be here later, so I'm gonna go hit the park with the monkeys early. I would like to wait and go later when it will warmer, but am afraid Cully will be sick when he gets here and I won't get to go at all.

I'll be cleaning out my computer desk drawers when I get back. They are stuffed from years back when we stuck stuff in there we didn't want the boys to get to.

Then I'll be organizing, pre-cooking for Super Bowl Sunday.

Joe, watch out for Flying Monkeys. lol

Connie luck

Gail, what are you reading? I'm about half way through Lee Child's Killing Floor.

wave all wave
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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#937985 - 01/31/14 11:57 AM Re: IT'S FRIDAY!! [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Online   happy
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 64448
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
lab Yay! I love them MaG! urock

I am making this fast since I had no internet, then Comcast said we had an outage and it wouldn't be up till later and then it came back. Shortly after I lost it again. lol

So....I am saying hi and wishing you all a good day.

Connie, prayers for hubby!
_________________________
How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

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#937989 - 01/31/14 12:02 PM Re: IT'S FRIDAY!! [Re: gymcandy1]
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/10/06
Posts: 13519
Loc: northern Wisconsin
Love the new pets, MaG!!!

Just a quick note to say HI as Abbi will be here any time. Spent the morning doing peoples taxes now that the IRS is excepting them!!

Joe good luck on the hunt!!!

wave
Nan

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#937991 - 01/31/14 12:47 PM Re: IT'S FRIDAY!! [Re: gymcandy1]
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 7074
Loc: San Diego, CA
blackkitty New icons! Thanks! Kitties and puppies, how cute is that?

Still no call from my insurance. Called THEM last night, got some answers but nothing from the actual 'claims holder' who was supposed to call me in 48 hours or less. Maybe I'll just switch over and call the other person's company and file a claim myself. Thinking about the best way to go. No easy answer as SHE has not yet claimed on her policy, etc. Have no idea what's going on. Phooey!

Rained last night. Actually rained. Wow. Manged to wet anything that wasn't under a tree or something. Not a real rain, but at least it got wettish.
_________________________
WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.

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#937996 - 01/31/14 01:29 PM Re: IT'S FRIDAY!! [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 42073
Loc: Alabama
Back from my walk and 2 minutes later, the boys appeared. Son is home and up, so I'll get some stuff done this afternoon. wave

I was way overdressed for the park. Beautiful day out. lab happydance
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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#937998 - 01/31/14 02:25 PM Re: IT'S FRIDAY!! [Re: gymcandy1]
Space Quest Fan Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/17/01
Posts: 9406
Loc: Columbus,Ohio USA
Have a great weekend Boomers. thumbsup
_________________________
It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.

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