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#943559 - 03/06/14 07:54 PM TGIF
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 30109
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
History is more or less bunk. It's tradition. We don't want tradition. We want to live in the present and the only history that is worth a tinker's dam is the history we made today.
Henry Ford (1863 - 1947), Interview in Chicago Tribune, May 25th, 1916
~~~~~~~~~~~

At one point during a game, the coach said to one of his young players, "Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?"

The little boy nodded in the affirmative.

"Do you understand that what matters is whether we win together as a team?"

The little boy nodded yes.

"So," the coach continued, "when a strike is called, or you're out at first, you don't argue or curse or attack the umpire. Do you understand all that?"

Again the little boy nodded.

"Good," said the coach. "Now go over there and explain it to your mother."
~~~~~~~~~~~


This old man visits his doctor and after a thorough examination, the doctor tells him, "I have good news and bad news, what would you like to hear first?"

Patient: Well, give me the bad news first.

Doctor: You have cancer, I estimate that you have about two years left.

Patient: That's terrible! In two years, my life will be over! What kind of good news could you probably tell me, after this?

Doctor: You also have Alzheimer's. In about three months you are going to forget everything I told you.
~~~~~~~~~~

Once upon a time there lived a woman who had a maddening passion for baked beans. She loved them but unfortunately they had always had a very embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction to her. Then one day she met a guy and fell in love. When it became apparent that they would marry she thought to herself, " He is such a sweet and gentle man, he would never go for this carrying on." So she made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.

Some months later her car broke down on the way home from work. Since she lived in the country she called her husband and told him that she would be late because she had to walk home. On her way she passed a small diner and the odor of the baked beans was more than she could stand. Since she still had miles to walk, she figured that she would walk off any ill effects by the time she reached home. So, she stopped at the diner and before she knew it, she had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home she putt-putted. And upon arriving home she felt reasonably sure she could control it.

Her husband seemed excited to see her and exclaimed delightedly, "Darling, I have a surprise for dinner tonight." He then blindfolded her and led her to her chair at the table. She seated herself and just as he was about to remove the blindfold from his wife, the telephone rang. He made her promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned. He then went to answer the phone. The baked beans she had consumed were still affecting her and the pressure was becoming almost unbearable, so while her husband was out of the room she seized the opportunity, shifted her weight to one leg and let it go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of pulpwood mill. She took her napkin and fanned the air around her vigorously. Then, she shifted to the other cheek and ripped three more, which reminded her of cabbage cooking.

Keeping her ears tuned to the conversation in the other room, she went on like this for another ten minutes. When the phone farewells signaled the end of her freedom, she fanned the air a few more times with her napkin, placed it on her lap and folded her hands upon it, smiling contentedly to herself. She was the picture of innocence when her husband returned, Apologizing for taking so long, he asked her if she peeked, and she assured him that she had not. At this point, he removed the blindfold, and she was surprised!!! There were twelve dinner guests seated around the table to wish her a Happy Birthday!!!
~~~~~~~~~~


A guy goes into a costume shop. He says, "I'm going to a Halloween
party, and I want to go as Adam."

The girl brings out a fig leaf.

But he says, "Not big enough!"

So she brings out a bigger one.

"Still not big enough!"

So she brings out a HUGE fig leaf.

"Still not big enough!" he proudly tells her.

So she says, "Listen, Ace, why don't you just throw it over your
shoulder and go as a gasoline pump?"
~~~~~~~~~

Not To Be Heard During Surgery


1. "Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy."

2. "Someone call the janitor - we're going to need a mop."

3. "Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness"

4. "Bo! Bo! Come back with that! Bad Dog!"

5. "Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?"

6. "Hand me that...uh...that uh.....thingie."

7. "Oh no! I just lost my Rolex."

8. "Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?"

9. "[blip], there go the lights again...."

10. "Ya know, there's big money in kidneys. Hell, the guy's got two of them."

11. "What do you mean you want a divorce?"
~~~~~~~~~~


A Dinner Conversation That Went Wrong

WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?"
HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"
WIFE: "Why not - don't you like being married?"
HUSBAND: "Of course I do."
WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?"
HUSBAND: "Okay, I'd get married again."
WIFE: "You would? (with a hurtful look on her face)."
HUSBAND: (makes audible groan).
WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"
HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"
WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"
HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do."
WIFE: "Would she use my golf clubs?"
HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed."
WIFE: - - - silence - - -
HUSBAND: "Sh!!!."
~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie. welcome

I don't have my calender with me, but I know that today is the day after yesterday, so I'll go on the assumption that this is yesterday's tomorrow.......bleak as it is. smirk

I say that because one person's trash is another person's treasure, and the rest of the world's weekend, is my ball & chain, back to the salt mine, end of the world. sad

Ah but it's a three day week for me. Then while the rest of the world goes back to work, I'll be surf & turfing on the sands of Waikiki. yay

Ok on the sands of our creek. razz

The point is I'll be on a nuther weekend. wink

Don't anyone mention being retired, and never going back to work at all, or I just might have to take you off my Christmas card list, and send my sister to spend a month with you. wink

So smile, and have a happy end of the world everyone. grin

joe
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

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#943562 - 03/06/14 08:40 PM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 65509
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Joe, glad it's a short work week for you. yay I hope that the rains unearthed more points for you.

I'm not sure what today will bring yet. I am trying to sell my concert tickets for tonight and if I do hubby and will just go out for dinner. Otherwise we are heading to the city at night.
The rest of the day I'll be working and will run the dogs. It will be 40 degrees and I have to go in that!

Have a happy Friday everyone! hearts

birthday Connie! cake in the corner for you.
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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#943563 - 03/06/14 08:45 PM Re: TGIF [Re: BrownEyedTigre]
Space Quest Fan Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/17/01
Posts: 9646
Loc: Columbus,Ohio USA
Have a great Friday Joe and Ana. thumbsup
_________________________
It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.

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#943564 - 03/06/14 08:50 PM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 65509
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
You too SpaceQ! Hope all is well by you!

Ana wave
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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#943582 - 03/06/14 11:13 PM Re: TGIF [Re: BrownEyedTigre]
manxman Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 07/23/02
Posts: 15538
Loc: Unionville
Good morning Joe, Ana, SQF and boomers to follow. wave Hope everyone has a fantastic Friday smile
_________________________
Sometimes lost is where you need to be. Just because you don't know your direction doesn't mean you don't have one.

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#943585 - 03/06/14 11:27 PM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 65509
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Have a great day manxman!
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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#943595 - 03/07/14 02:25 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
Haroula Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 7976
Loc: Greece
Good morning Joe, Ana, SQF, manxmam and all who come in later. wave
Connie birthday flowers
Have all a great Friday. happydance smile
_________________________
Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.



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#943603 - 03/07/14 04:55 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 17477
Loc: Marlborough USA
Good morning Joe, Ana, SpaceQ, manxman and Haroula. Coffee is ready. Have a wonderful day everyone! wave birthday Happy Birthday Connie! birthday
_________________________
Gerry

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#943612 - 03/07/14 06:02 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
GBC Online   content
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/06/07
Posts: 14698
Loc: Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers

Joe, enjoy your day and your short week.

Ana, have fun either way for the night.

Space, good morning.

Haroula, happy day!

Manxman, good day to yoy.

Gerry, thanks for the coffee.

Connie, birthday

Going to bundle up and walk the dogs this morning. shiver
Good day to All!
_________________________
Gail

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#943616 - 03/07/14 06:06 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 03/07/09
Posts: 5614
Loc: Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Hi, everyone. wave Just a quick post today, as I'm off for yet another work whoosh. Hope all of you have a terrific Friday. winter

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#943641 - 03/07/14 09:59 AM Re: TGIF [Re: venus]
Darlene Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/10/00
Posts: 9442
Loc: Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Hope your day goes easy peasy!

birthday Connie! hearts

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

It's Friday!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!
_________________________
You become what you think about. Change your thoughts, change your life. - Dko

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#943647 - 03/07/14 10:40 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/10/06
Posts: 13751
Loc: northern Wisconsin
Aw Joe.....one day!!! lol May work time fly and go well. Thanks for the laughs and have a lovely day!!

Ana sounds like a lovely evening either way!! Good luck with the selling of the tickets though. Have a fun run with the dogs. How is Merlin doing these days?? May the corner be kind and you have a lovely day!

Space the weekend is upon us!! May work fly for you today so you can get started on a great weekensd!! Have a lovely day!

Manxman have a lovely day!

Haroula is Jr learning lots of things in school?? Have a lovely day!

Gerry thanks for starting the coffee. Have a lovely day!

Gail you can do it. lol Enjoy the walk with the dogs. It usually isn't bad out there if the wind isn't blowing. Have a lovely day!

venus happy working!!! Have a lovely day!

Darlene may work go smoothly and you have a lovely day!

birthday Connie!!! HUGS!

No plans till taxi time and then work fish fry!!

wave
Nan

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#943650 - 03/07/14 10:56 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 42516
Loc: Alabama
Fantastic Friday ya'll

I see some sun and some blue out there, so mayhap the doggies and I will make it to the park between pick-up-boy runs.

I've been on the phone this morning trying to finish up some business. Hubby brought home new meds for me last night. Well, the amount of pills the pharmacy dispensed is 2 weeks short of sufficent to get me to my next lab check, and no refills. So started the silly business of trying to get the doctor and the pharmacy on the same page. rotfl

Ana, luck on selling those tickets. Enjoy your dinner either way.

Nan, do you get to eat at the fish fry? Stay warm wave

Darlene, happy skooshing.

Venus, happy whooshing!

Gail, enjoy the walk.

Gerry, wave

Haroula, do you have weekend plans?

Manx, anything fun on the docket?

Space, welcome to the weekend.

Joe, enjoy your short week.
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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#943656 - 03/07/14 11:54 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 65509
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Good morning boomies! A beautiful day out today. It's like summer out there!! 35 degrees and sunny. If you can ignore the 4 foot high piles of snow everywhere and pretend the white cover is green, it's awesome! rotfl

I sold my tickets in 5 minutes last night. lol The band I had tickets to was featured on American Idol last evening and the venue was sold out so they were scooped right up. yay Good timing!

Haroula, anything special planned for the weekend?

Gerry, have a happy day!

Gail, warmer air will be heading your way soon!

venus, hope work goes by quickly.

Darlene, happy Friday!

Nan, Merlin is doing as well as he can. lol He is at least building up his stamina a bit each day. We will see how well he does when the snow and ice is gone. I am hoping it won't be so hard on him.
I hope you have a warmer day today again! yay How are you doing?

Edit: L4L, just goes to show you how long it took me to finish my post. I missed you! rotfl
I hope you can get the dogs out and get your meds in order. hearts






Edited by BrownEyedTigre (03/07/14 11:55 AM)
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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#943659 - 03/07/14 11:57 AM Re: TGIF [Re: BrownEyedTigre]
Space Quest Fan Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/17/01
Posts: 9646
Loc: Columbus,Ohio USA
Have a great weekend Ana. yay lab
_________________________
It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.

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#943661 - 03/07/14 12:51 PM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 7353
Loc: San Diego, CA
Fed the Outdoorsies, saw the old gal had her tail all fuzzed out. Looked around and saw nothing until my tenants drove out and yelled at me to look at my gate. Sure enough, there was a huge peacock, looking in at me. It's the same one we have seen (and heard) for weeks. Finally figured out it's a female, getting very big, and can fly short distances. She chased the old gal cat under my car and then kept sticking her head under trying to get at it. Oh! I chased her (gently) until I could get the cat out safely. Peacock went over fence to neighbors, then back and is now on my roof. How fun. I think she's looking for food and since I keep dry food in a feeder for the 'night creatures' she probably found that. The eat bugs and small reptiles and seeds and stuff. Hopefully they don't eat cats. blackkitty
_________________________
WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.

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#943668 - 03/07/14 03:31 PM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 65509
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
SpaceQ, I will! hearts

Sorta, you need to get a picture of her! How awesome!

Took the dogs for a run. Pushed Merlin to a mile and a half. He did it but he is wiped out right now.

Ana wave
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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#943684 - 03/07/14 05:48 PM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 42516
Loc: Alabama
Hopefully, not, Sorta wave

Ana, glad you got out. Our sun went away so I stayed in. Up to clean up the kitchen wave
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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#943685 - 03/07/14 06:42 PM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 7353
Loc: San Diego, CA
After doing some research, I now know more about Peacocks then I ever wanted to know. Female definitely. Peacocks roost in tall trees at night (we have lots around). BUT they nest on the ground! Oh oh. Lots of feral cats around and I suspect no eggs or chicks will be safe (ditto for the raccoons and possums). Also found out peacocks are territorial and have a HUGE area that they control. Blocks so it says. Oh well. Hopefully this will work out and the 'poop' won't be in my area. They poop a lot. Ugh.

DID my income taxes finally. Took me an hour on the computer with Turbo Tax. Had to run here and there looking for some info that I had no idea they would ask. Guess the laws change from year to year. Good part is I took a loss on one of the rentals, and only made a profit of 320 bucks on the other. Good for me since that negated any rent I gathered in. Nice. Offsetting is good for the budget. Then again, all those repairs and things sure added up this year. Last year was minimal repairing. Just happy I owe nothing. I also get nothing back since I don't have anything taken out of my meager retirement check. It works out. thumbsup
_________________________
WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.

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#943689 - 03/07/14 07:01 PM Re: TGIF [Re: Sorta Blonde]
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 30109
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
Howdy everybody. wave

I had a day, now looking for a night....a good night. sleep

It's a nuther early start tomorrow, so I'm off to get it started. thumbsup

One down, two to go. happydance

joe
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

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#943693 - 03/07/14 07:19 PM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 42516
Loc: Alabama
Sorta, I will be working on son's taxes this weekend, and cooking our books. Glad it worked out for you.

Joe, sleep well.

Supper is cooked, kitchen is cleaned, and hubby and I reclaimed the dining room table so we can all sit now when we eat. Which, we are off to do! Back in a bit!
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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#943698 - 03/07/14 08:26 PM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
my10rugrats Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 08/05/06
Posts: 3342
Loc: kansas
http://i961.photobucket.com/albums/ae99/my10rugrats/20140307_170743.jpg
would like to share this picture of all 4 of our kids that was taken today after our youngest daughter got married today. they stood oldest(in purple) to the youngest(in pink). the one is the dress is our daughter fighting the cancer. . hope everyone had a great day . we sure did now they are talking of some snow tomorrow. am so ready for some spring type weather

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#943699 - 03/07/14 08:29 PM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 42516
Loc: Alabama
Thanks, My, for sharing. They all look very happy.
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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#943702 - 03/07/14 08:44 PM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
my10rugrats Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 08/05/06
Posts: 3342
Loc: kansas
they was . this is the first time i have been able in all the years to have one of all 4 of them together. what was great is that oldest daughter brought jeannie with her. i know she will be exhausted by the time they get home and get her settled back at the nursing home

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#943705 - 03/07/14 09:20 PM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 65509
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Wonderful My10!!
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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#943710 - 03/07/14 09:52 PM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
my10rugrats Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 08/05/06
Posts: 3342
Loc: kansas
thank you everyone

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#943718 - 03/07/14 10:28 PM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 42516
Loc: Alabama
Night all....time to go lie the tired body down to get energy for tomorrow. Sweet dreams sleep
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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#943726 - 03/08/14 12:05 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/10/06
Posts: 13751
Loc: northern Wisconsin
My 10 that is a lovely picture of your children!!! Thanks for sharing. BTW: Congrats to youngest and may her and her hubby have many wonderful years together!!! hearts

Was a busy night at the fish fry. But then it is Lentin season now till Easter so maybe we will pick up some more patrons!! duh

Time now to think about bed, but must take Sassy out one more time.

Night all sleep well and pleasant dreams!!

sleep
Nan

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