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#944057 - 03/09/14 11:55 PM Monday Sunshine
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 29937
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
Try not to become a man of success but rather to become a man of value.
Albert Einstein
~~~~~~~~

Not cool anymore!


You find yourself listening to talk radio.


You daughter says she got pierced and you look at her ears.


The pattern on your shorts and couch match.


You fondly remember your powder blue leisure suit.


You think Tragically Hip is when a middle-aged man gets a new sports car, hair piece and a 20 year old girlfriend.


You criticize the kids of today for their satanic suicide-inducing music, forgetting that you rocked to Alice Cooper and Black Sabbath.


You call the police on a noisy party next door instead of grabbing beer and joining it.


You turn down free tickets to a rock concert because you have to work the next day.


When grass is something that you cut, not cultivate.


When jogging is something you do to your memory.


Getting a little action means your prune juice is working.


All the cars behind you flash their headlights.


You remember the "Rolling Stones" as a rock group not a corporation.


You bought your first car for the same price you paid for your son's new running shoes.


You actually ASK for your father's advice.


You don't know how to operate a fax machine.


When someone mentions SURFING you picture waves and a surf board.
~~~~~~~~~

A man suffered a serious heart attack while shopping in a store. The store
clerks called 911 when they saw him collapse to the floor. The paramedics
rushed the man to the nearest hospital where he had emergency open heart
bypass surgery.

He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns at the
Catholic Hospital he was taken to. A nun was seated next to his bed holding
a clip board loaded with several forms, and a pen. She asked him how he was
going to pay for his treatment.

"Do you have health insurance?" she asked.

He replied in a raspy voice, "No health insurance."

The nun asked, "Do you have money in the bank?"

He replied, "No money in the bank."

"Do you have a relative who could help you with the payments?" asked the
irritated nun.

He said, "I only have a spinster sister, and she is a nun."

The nun became agitated and announced loudly, "Nuns are not spinsters! Nuns
are married to God."

The patient replied, "Perfect. Send the bill to my brother-in-law."
~~~~~~~~~~

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really ticked.

She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"

The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Bob has been missing since Friday.
~~~~~~~~~~

This analogy makes perfect sense!

1. The sport of choice for the urban poor is BASKETBALL.

2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is BOWLING.

3. The sport of choice for front-line workers is FOOTBALL.

4. The sport of choice for supervisors is BASEBALL.

5. The sport of choice for middle management is TENNIS.

6. The sport of choice for corporate executives and officers is GOLF.
THE INEVITABLE CONCLUSION:
The higher you go in the corporate structure, the smaller your fixation on balls become.

Therefore, one might conclude, there must be a ton of people in Ottawa (and Washington) obsessed with playing marbles!
~~~~~~~~~

A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, pal. You're obviously drunk."

Our wasted friend asked, "Officer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?"

"Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let's go."

Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, "Thank goodness, I thought I was crippled."
~~~~~~~~~

A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was squirming around, scratching his crotch, and not paying attention. She went back to find out what was going on. He was quite embarrassed and whispered that he had just recently been circumcised and he was quite itchy.

The teacher told him to go down to the principals office. He was told to telephone his mother and ask her what he should do about it. He did and returned to his class.

Suddenly, there was a commotion at the back of the room. She went back to investigate only to find him sitting at his desk with his private parts hanging out.

"I thought I told you to call your mom!" she said.

"I did," he said, "And she told me that if I could stick it out until lunchtime, shed come and pick me up from school."
~~~~~~~~~

Good morning girls and boys. welcome

Matt here. lol

You're right Gerry, Joe is better than Matt. yes

So.........I've put out the welcome joe for you all. wink

It's 11:00 now and I have to get up and be at my friends hour early so we can go hunt heads. dance YAHOO!!

Plus I have a virus or malware on my computer and I have to go take care of that before bed, so I will see you all when the sun is shining. happydance

Have a happy day everyone. yay

joe
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

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#944060 - 03/10/14 02:26 AM Re: Monday Sunshine [Re: gymcandy1]
Haroula Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 7458
Loc: Greece
Have a great day Matt or Joe think smashpc lol
and all who come in later. happydance wave
_________________________

Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.



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#944073 - 03/10/14 04:53 AM Re: Monday Sunshine [Re: Haroula]
Gimli Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 06/15/05
Posts: 2314
Loc: Switzerland
Good morning Joe (Matt? Did I miss something??) and Haroula and everybody coming in after me.

You know how it is when I'am in Italy: Internet on-and off- and on- and off (ad nauseam). Day after tomorrow we drive back to Switzerland. Thursday is setup of the exhibition and Friday evening is opening. I'am not looking forward to this exhibition. It's not an 1A event. I promised (4 years ago) a painter friend to do an exhibition with her and, well, since I'am a very loyal person, have to do it now.

Spring arrived here in Italy 2 days ago and I'd rather stay here and enjoy springtime...

What are you all up to today? I hope you have some me-time scheduled. Bear hugs from

Evelyne
_________________________
"You ask me what life is. That's like asking me what a carrot is. A carrot is a carrot is a carrot" (A. Chekhov)

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#944077 - 03/10/14 05:54 AM Re: Monday Sunshine [Re: gymcandy1]
GBC Online   content
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/06/07
Posts: 14209
Loc: Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers,

Joe, enjoy your head hunting today.

Haroula, happy day wishes to you.

Evelyne, Enjoy the time you have left in Italy. Hope the exhibition runs smoothly for you. catrub

Wishing everyone a wonderful start to the week. puppy
_________________________
Gail

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#944078 - 03/10/14 05:57 AM Re: Monday Sunshine [Re: gymcandy1]
Volkana Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 01/03/08
Posts: 1959
Loc: Greece
Good morning everyone!!!
_________________________
Fear can hold you prisoner. Hope can set you free.

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#944080 - 03/10/14 06:11 AM Re: Monday Sunshine [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 16841
Loc: Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe, Haroula, Evelyne, GBC and Volkana. Joe keep sharp! Haroula enjoy. Evelyne hope the exhibit goes well. Enjoy spring in Italy. GBC coffee is ready. Volkana nice to see you in the diner. Happy Monday wished for All! lab
_________________________
Gerry

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#944085 - 03/10/14 06:55 AM Re: Monday Sunshine [Re: gymcandy1]
connie Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 07/12/02
Posts: 7973
Loc: winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. Going with best friend to get the supplies for the Wedding today. I love the Eagle pics Ana. To all here and all who follow, have a Great Monday. Danish and Cinnamon Buns in the NC. lab
_________________________
Connie

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#944102 - 03/10/14 09:58 AM Re: Monday Sunshine [Re: connie]
Darlene Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/10/00
Posts: 9291
Loc: Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers and happy head hunting!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!
_________________________
You become what you think about. Change your thoughts, change your life. - Dko

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#944103 - 03/10/14 10:05 AM Re: Monday Sunshine [Re: gymcandy1]
manxman Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/23/02
Posts: 14730
Loc: Unionville
Good Monday morning boomers smile
_________________________
Sometimes lost is where you need to be. Just because you don't know your direction doesn't mean you don't have one.

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#944105 - 03/10/14 10:16 AM Re: Monday Sunshine [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 42050
Loc: Alabama
Magnificent Monday ya'll puppy

Slept wonderfully last night. Nothing is better than a good night's sleep. We have Bible Studay tonight. It looks like a lovely day out there wave
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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#944106 - 03/10/14 10:27 AM Re: Monday Sunshine [Re: gymcandy1]
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/10/06
Posts: 13509
Loc: northern Wisconsin
Joe good luck with the arrowhead hunting!! Thanks for the chuckles and have a lovely day!

Haroula have a lovely day!

Evelyne best of luck with the exibition!! May it be great! Enjoy the rest of Spring whuile you can. Sending the Band to be around you and hubby as you travel on Wednesday!! Have a lovely day!

Gail have a lovely day and I hope your snow is melting away!

Volkana have a lovely day!

Gerry thanks for the coffee. Have a lovely day!

Oh Connie I bet you are excited about the weeding. Happy shopping!! Thanks for the dansih and have a lovely day!

Darlene may work all go smoothly today! Have a lovely day!

Manxman have a lovely day!

L4l glad you were able to sleep well last night. Have a lovely day!

Abbi day!!!

wave
Nan

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#944116 - 03/10/14 11:31 AM Re: Monday Sunshine [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 64423
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Good morning boomies! I have so much I need to do in the corner, I am not sure how I will fit in a grocery run. A dog run isn't looking good either which is a shame because it's going to be 50 degrees.

Joe, happy hunting!

Connie, good luck getting the wedding together. The week before is so much running around. hearts

Nan, happy Abbi day! yay

L4L, glad you had a great night's sleep!

Darlene, Gerry, Volkana, Gail, Evelyne, Haroula, manxman, have a wonderful day! I need to get cracking here!
_________________________
How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

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#944125 - 03/10/14 12:21 PM Re: Monday Sunshine [Re: BrownEyedTigre]
Space Quest Fan Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/17/01
Posts: 9398
Loc: Columbus,Ohio USA
Good afternoon Boomers. wave
_________________________
It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.

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#944153 - 03/10/14 03:21 PM Re: Monday Sunshine [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 42050
Loc: Alabama
Back from a great run (walk) with the doggies. It's 70 out there so we had to go. Enjoyed it greatly wave
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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#944160 - 03/10/14 06:08 PM Re: Monday Sunshine [Re: gymcandy1]
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/10/06
Posts: 13509
Loc: northern Wisconsin
WooHoo it is nice out....for today anyweay. Took Sassy walking and only had to wear a T-shirt!!

Been rescued from Abbi and am off to try my luck at BINGO!!!

Ana want to borrow some extra time? lol

Have a lovely evening all!!

wave
Nan

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