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#952082 - Today at 01:30 AM Joe's Friday
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 29796
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
Humor is just another defense against the universe.
Mel Brooks (1926 - )

Great Witticisms

The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.

If you smoke after sex, you're doing it too fast.

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.

Good girls get fat, bad girls get eaten.

We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated.

Born free... taxed to death.

The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.

Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

A cat almost always blinks when hit in the head with a ball peen hammer.

There's too much blood in my alcohol system.

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.

WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.

If you can read this, I've lost my trailer.

You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.

I got a gun for my wife, best trade I've ever made.

So you're a feminist...Isn't that cute!

Anyone can give up smoking, but it takes a real man to face cancer.

If, a two letter word for futility

I don't care, I don't have to.

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

To all you virgins, thanks for nothing.

I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.

Horn broken, watch for finger.

All men are idiots ... I married their king.

The more you complain, the longer God lets you live.

My kid had sex with your honor student.

Earth first...we'll mine the other planets later.

Give pizza chants.

Don't hit me. My lawyer's in jail.

This isn't burger king, you can't have it your way.

How can I be overdrawn, I still have checks!

If something goes without saying, LET IT!

If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished.

Help wanted telepath: you know where to apply

Work is for people who don't know how to fish.

IRS We've got what it takes to take what you've got.

Hard work has a future payoff, laziness pays off now.

If you don't like the way I drive, get off the sidewalk.

Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.

Missing your cat? Try looking under my tires.

I love cats ... dead ones

I love cats ... they taste just like chicken

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

Where are we going? And why are we in this hand basket?

Keep honking, I'm reloading.

Cover me. I'm changing lanes.

Prevent inbreeding: ban country music.

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.

Spotted owl taste just like chicken.

Hang up and drive.

Happiness is a belt-fed weapon.

Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.

WARNING! Driver only carries $20.00 in ammunition.

This would be really funny if it wasn't happening to me.

I have the body of a god... Buddha!

I get enough exercise pushing my luck.

Auntie Em- Hate you, hate Kansas, taking dog. Dorothy

If you don't like the news, go out and make your own.

Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep

Guns don't kill people... but they make it real easy.

I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather ... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

Tow-ers will be violated

If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished.

Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.

Guns don't kill people, postal workers do.

Ask me about microwaving cats for fun and profit.

I said "no" to drugs, but they just wouldn't listen.

Friends don't let Friends drive Naked.

If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?

Respect vegetables, don't eat them.

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.

Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... till you can find a rock.

Sex on television can't hurt you... unless you fall off.

Cemeteries, life's dead end.

Good morning everyboomie. welcome

I was thinking today. headscratch

Now I know why I don't do it more often. slapforehead

It was quite disturbing. sherlock

Maybe that's the very reason they say ignorance is bliss. crazy

I guess it's true. I once tried to get in a funny farm and they said I was way too serious. mad

I say they're nothing but a bunch of narrow minded clowns.

Have a happy day everyone. thumbsup


"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

#952084 - Today at 01:53 AM Re: Joe's Friday [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 63429
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
lol Don't think too hard Joe! Get some sleep and see you later today.hearts

Happy Friday all!

Ana wave
How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

#952088 - Today at 02:05 AM Re: Joe's Friday [Re: gymcandy1]
Haroula Online   happy
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 6946
Loc: Greece
Have all a fantastic Friday. happydance wave
As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.

#952093 - Today at 02:26 AM Re: Joe's Friday [Re: Haroula]
Drmojo Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 12/04/04
Posts: 1743
Loc: Washington In the Wet corner
Hey ya Boom Boom buddies

Hi Joe, Ana and Haroula wave wave wave

Watched the tv show Vikings tonight
was good! next week is the end of season happydance

have a good day everyone~ Karen frenchie kitty puppy cat
OSO live
OSO Love
++OSO Strong++

Peace be with you~

#952108 - 33 minutes 6 seconds ago Re: Joe's Friday [Re: Drmojo]
cailyn Online   sad
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 01/08/06
Posts: 5958
Loc: Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
Good morning Joe,Ana,Haroula,Karen and all who follow waveCoffee is ready wishing everyone a great Friday! yay
I may not have gone where I intended to go,but I think I have ended up where I need to be.



Moderator:  BrownEyedTigre, looney4labs 

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