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Sip & Surf Sunday #953983
05/03/14 11:50 PM
05/03/14 11:50 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
Be not the first by whom the new are tried,
Nor yet the last to lay the old aside.
Alexander Pope (1688 - 1744), An Essay on Criticism, 1711
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Landlord Letters

1. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bathe the children until it is cleared.

2. I want some repairs done to my stove as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.

3. This is to let you know that there is a smell coming from the man next door.

4. The toilet seat is cracked: where do I stand?

5. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is running away from the wall.

6. I request your permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.

7. Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.

8. The person next door has a large erection in his back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.

9. Will you please send someone to mend our cracked sidewalk. Yesterday my wife tripped on it and is now pregnant.

10. Our kitchen floor is very damp, we have two children and would like a third, so will you please send someone to do something about it.

11. Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny color and not fit to drink.

12. Would you please send a man to repair my downspout. I am an old age pensioner and need it straight away.

13. Could you please send someone to fix our bath tap. My wife got her toe stuck in it and it is very uncomfortable for us.

14. I want to complain about the farmer across the road. Every morning at 5:30 his [blip] wakes me up, and it is getting too much.

15. When the workmen were here they put their tools in my wife's new drawers and made a mess. Please send men with clean tools to finish the job and keep my wife happy.
~~~~~~~~~~~

Laws Of Combat
Murphy's laws of combat operations...



1. Friendly fire - isn't.

2. Recoilless rifles - aren't.

3. Suppressive fires - won't.

4. You are not Superman; Marines and fighter pilots take note.

5. A sucking chest wound is Nature's way of telling you to slow down.

6. If it's stupid but it works, it isn't stupid.

7. Try to look unimportant; the enemy may be low on ammo and not want to waste a bullet on you.

8. If at first you don't succeed, call in an air strike.

9. If you are forward of your position, your artillery will fall short.

10. Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself.

11. Never go to bed with anyone crazier than yourself.

12. Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.

13. If your attack is going really well, it's an ambush.

14. The enemy diversion you're ignoring is their main attack.

15. The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions: when they're ready; when you're not.

16. No OPLAN ever survives initial contact.

17. There is no such thing as a perfect plan.

18. Five second fuses always burn three seconds.

19. There is no such thing as an atheist in a foxhole.

20. A retreating enemy is probably just falling back and regrouping.

21. The important things are always simple; the simple are always hard.

22. The easy way is always mined.

23. Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy other people to shoot at.

24. Don't look conspicuous; it draws fire. For this reason, it is not at all uncommon for aircraft carriers to be known as bomb magnets.

25. Never draw fire; it irritates everyone around you.

26. If you are short of everything but the enemy, you are in the combat zone.

27. When you have secured the area, make sure the enemy knows it too.

28. Incoming fire has the right of way.

29. No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection.

30. No inspection ready unit has ever passed combat.

31. If the enemy is within range, so are you.

32. The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.

33. Things which must be shipped together as a set, aren't.

34. Things that must work together, can't be carried to the field that way.

35. Radios will fail as soon as you need fire support. (Corollary: Radar tends to fail at night and in bad weather, and especially during both.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Learn From Children

Some things I've learned from my children over the years...


1. There is no such thing as child-proofing your house.

2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

3. A 3 year-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing batman underwear and a superman cape.

5. It is strong enough however to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20 foot room.

6. Baseballs make marks on ceilings.

7. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.

8. When using the ceiling fan as a bat you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit.

9. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

10. The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

11. When you hear the toilet flush and the words Uh-oh, it's already too late.

12. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

13. A six year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36 year old man says they can only do it in the movies.

14. A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day.

15. If you use a waterbed as home plate while wearing baseball shoe it does not leak-it explodes.

16. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq foot house 4 inches deep.

17. Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a four year old.

18. Duplos will not.

19. Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same sentence.

20. Super glue is forever.

21. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

22. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

23. VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

24. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

25. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

26. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.

27. Always look in the oven before you turn it on.

28. Plastic toys do not like ovens.

29. The fire department in Austin has at least a 5 minute response time.

30. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms dizzy.

31. It will however make cats dizzy.

32. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

33. Quiet does not necessarily mean don't worry.

34. A good sense of humor will get you through most problems in life (unfortunately, mostly in retrospect).
~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning Boomies. welcome


Looks like another beautiful day is brewing.


I wonder what this day will bring. think


Will you look back on this day years from now and say "That's the day my changed my life, and nothing's been the same since?" wink


"Will I?" happydance


Naaa probably not. razz


I gotta go in and work at 12:00. There's absolutely nothing special about that.


Maybe if we had zombies coming in and biting all the managers lips off, or something, I could look forward to that and say, "That was a day I'll never forget." bravo


Maaaabe if one of the zombies was named Ana......... wink


I might volunteer to have my lips bitten off. snicker


"Well let me tell you 'bout the way she looked, the way she acted, the color of her hair.
Her eyes were clear and bright. Her voice was soft and cool, but she's not there." wink
The Zombies


Have a memorable day everyone.


joe






Last edited by gymcandy1; 05/03/14 11:54 PM.

There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Sip & Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #953991
05/04/14 01:22 AM
05/04/14 01:22 AM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Online content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Online Content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
lol Joe! It's official I am an infected Zombie with the medal to prove it.

Not sure what I am doing today, but sleeping in is tops on my list!

Have a happy day!

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Sip & Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #953994
05/04/14 02:58 AM
05/04/14 02:58 AM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Haroula Offline
Adept Boomer
Haroula  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Good morning Joe,Ana and all who follow later. wave
Ana bravo smile
Have all a relaxing Sunday. happydance smile


I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".

Re: Sip & Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #953996
05/04/14 05:29 AM
05/04/14 05:29 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,110
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,110
Marlborough USA
spring Good Morning Joe, Ana and Haroula. It's going to be a beautiful day. Hope you all enjoy! Coffee and pastry in the corner! spring


Gerry
Re: Sip & Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #954004
05/04/14 06:04 AM
05/04/14 06:04 AM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Off for a work whoosh. Have a great Sunday, everyone. wave


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Sip & Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #954014
05/04/14 08:17 AM
05/04/14 08:17 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers: kitty

Joe, have a great day.

Haroula, your Country is beautiful!

Ana, hope you got a chance to sleep in.

Gerry, coffee is much needed this morning.

Venus, good work day wishes.

Off to church this morning. See everyone later. lab


Gail
Re: Sip & Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #954028
05/04/14 11:08 AM
05/04/14 11:08 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist
Sorta Blonde  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Ana the zombie! Awesome! zombie zombie zombie


WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.
Re: Sip & Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #954045
05/04/14 12:44 PM
05/04/14 12:44 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,661
Alabama
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
soot  Offline
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,661
Alabama
May the 4th be with you today laugh

Joe & Venus .. hope your work day is good for you

Ana .. snoozing all day is good and needed some times

Gail .. drive safe

SortaB Haroula and Gerry .. Happy Sunday to you!

Nothing big in the works today for us .. son and boys are enjoying a Star Wars marathon given the date .. I've been finishing my normal weekend chores and gardening and listening to my whale music

Happy Sunday to one and all!

wave


Dan
...
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music Stay Smart & Stay Safe
Re: Sip & Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #954046
05/04/14 01:05 PM
05/04/14 01:05 PM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer
auntiegram  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
Up early and off and running to get errands out of the way. There is this big bright orb in the sky shinning so brightly that I am blinded. lol Something we haven't seen in over a week. Hope it stays around.

Have a lovely day everybody!!

wave
Nan

Re: Sip & Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #954073
05/04/14 03:17 PM
05/04/14 03:17 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Online content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Online Content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Good afternoon boomies! Where is everyone today? Looks like everyone is having either lazy or busy Sunday. Mine so far is lazy, even the dogs are lazy. lol I'm waiting for the Hawks to play.

I hope you all are enjoying your day!

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Sip & Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #954092
05/04/14 04:29 PM
05/04/14 04:29 PM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 29,026
Unionville
manxman Offline
Sonic Boomer
manxman  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 29,026
Unionville
Hi boomers. Hope everyone is having a super Sunday smile


Sometimes lost is where you need to be. Just because you don't know your direction doesn't mean you don't have one.
Re: Sip & Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #954103
05/04/14 05:41 PM
05/04/14 05:41 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Online content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Online Content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Hi manxman! Just watching the Hawks win and then getting ready to go out to dinner. Life is good!


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Sip & Surf Sunday [Re: BrownEyedTigre] #954106
05/04/14 06:12 PM
05/04/14 06:12 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good evening Boomers. wave


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Sip & Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #954115
05/04/14 07:40 PM
05/04/14 07:40 PM
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,402
Lexington, Texas
Yankee Clipper Offline
Addicted Boomer
Yankee Clipper  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,402
Lexington, Texas
It's been a beautiful beautiful day -sunny, in the 90's, oh joy summer aproaches. spent most my day playing war shooters. I can't imagine what frantic mode is like. Am navigating to more of a granny mode.

Enjoy the rest of this Sunday


I wish I were a cat and belonged to me ~ My Aunt Helen Mary Rose
Re: Sip & Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #954116
05/04/14 07:46 PM
05/04/14 07:46 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Online content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Online Content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Spaceq I hope your day was great!

Yankee, something tells me your granny mode is my beast mode in games!


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Sip & Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #954119
05/04/14 08:19 PM
05/04/14 08:19 PM
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 13,583
Palouse country
3dobermans Offline
Adept Boomer
3dobermans  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 13,583
Palouse country
Evening; sunny but a bit of a cold wind blowing. Been a lazy day. Thinking about going to a bbq at the school; problem is, I'm not hungry.

May all have a restful, peaceful eve before the start of another week.


Reading is to the mind, what exercise is to the body - Joseph Addison
Re: Sip & Surf Sunday [Re: 3dobermans] #954122
05/04/14 08:31 PM
05/04/14 08:31 PM
Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
Darlene Offline
Adept Boomer
Darlene  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Hope your day has been going super duper!

Hey, sweet 'Boomies!

Just checking in....been a lovely easy peasy, chillaxin', oompa loompa day! dance

Our 11 year old grandson had to come by with his father to show us his new hiking boots. He is now in the boy scout troop that his father (my son smile ) was a boy scout and got his Eagle Scout rank, of which his Papa (Hubby smile ) was Scoutmaster and is also an Eagle Scout. Legacy..... smile

So....

Off to see what's afoot!


Woohoo and booyah! smile Have an easy peasy day!
Re: Sip & Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #954131
05/04/14 09:20 PM
05/04/14 09:20 PM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
We are home and the fur babies were very happy to see us. We went to see our grandson in a play today. It was for his final grade in his acting class. Tomorrow I have to sit in the Social Security office and wait to be seen. Just when everything was settled the credit union told me they are closing our joint account. Because hubby's name was first on the account I can't keep it. I have to open a new account. The problem is my SS check and my survivor benefits checks are direct deposited to the account they are closing. Time for bed so I can be up bright and early in the morning. lab


Connie
Re: Sip & Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #954132
05/04/14 09:24 PM
05/04/14 09:24 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Online content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Online Content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
TRippy, I have been in slug mode all day! Loving it actually. Enjoy the BBQ if you go!

Darlene, I can't believe your grandson is 11! I remember your sleep overs. hearts

Connie, welcome home. I'm sorry you have to go to the credit union tomorrow. I hope you had a lot of fun on your trip!


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Sip & Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #954134
05/04/14 10:10 PM
05/04/14 10:10 PM
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Midge Offline
Graduate Boomer
Midge  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
I'm looking for my pillow now. Very tired. This ole body can't take the late hours anymore. See you in the morning. Night all. Night Trippy. kissy

Midgie hearts sleep


Just do it.
Re: Sip & Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #954136
05/04/14 10:29 PM
05/04/14 10:29 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Online content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Online Content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Sweet dreams Midgie. hearts


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Sip & Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #954140
05/05/14 12:22 AM
05/05/14 12:22 AM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer
auntiegram  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
Night all sleep well and pleasant dreams!

sleep
Nan

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