Holding on to anger, resentment and hurt only gives you tense muscles, a headache and a sore jaw from clenching your teeth. Forgiveness gives you back the laughter and the lightness in your life.
Joan Lunden, in Healthy Living Magazine
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Twin Cities People
You know you're from the Twin Cities if...You measure distance in minutes.
Weather is 80% of your conversation.
Snow tires came standard on your car.
You have no concept of public transportation.
75% of your graduating class went to the University of Minnesota.
You know more than one person who has hit a deer.
You know what and where Dinkytown is.
Perkins was a popular hangout in high school.
You have no problem saying or spelling Minneapolis.
You can list all the Dales.
You hate Fargo (the movie) but realize that a lot of your family talks that way.
You get mad at people who think Fargo is in Minnesota.
Your school classes have been cancelled because of snow or cold.
You assume when you say "The Cities" people know what you are talking about.
You have tried boiled fish in lye at Christmas.
You've licked frozen metal.
The only reason you go to Wisconsin is to get fireworks, to buy beer on Sundays or you got bad directions.
You wear shorts when it's 50 degrees in March, but bundle up and complain in August when it goes below 60 degrees.
You know people that have more fishing poles than teeth.
You remember WLOL and WDGY.
When you talk about the opener you are not talking about cans.
You have gone trick or treating in 3 feet of snow.
You carry jumper cables in your car.
You drink pop, not soda.
Everyone you know has a cabin.
You voted for a pro wrestler for Governor...and he won.
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Travel Agent Stories
These are actual stories from travel agents about their moronic customers...Someone ask for an aisle seat so that his or her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. (probably blonde)
A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?"
I got a call from a man who asked, "Is it possible to see England from Canada?" I said, "No." He said "But they look so close on the map."
Another man called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had a 1-hour layover in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport and I need a car to drive between the gates to Save time."
A nice lady just called. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:20am and got into Chicago at 8:33am. I tried to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she could not understand the concept of time zones. Finally I told her the plane went very fast, and she bought that!
A woman called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know who's luggage belongs to who?" I said, "No, why do you ask?" She replied, "Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said FAT, and I'm overweight, is there any connection?" After putting her on hold for a minute while I "looked into it" (I was actually laughing) I came back and explained the city code for Fresno is FAT, and that the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.
I just got off the phone with a man who asked, "How do I know Which plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly he meant, which he replied, "I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these darn planes have numbers on them.
A woman called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-cola on one of those computer planes." I asked if she meant to fly to Pensacola on a commuter plane. She said, "Yeah, whatever."
A businessman called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him he needed a visa. "Oh no I don't, I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those." I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, "Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express."
A woman called to make reservations, "I want to go from Chicago to Hippopotamus, New York." The agent was at a loss for words. Finally, the agent: "Are you sure that's the name of the town?" "Yes, what flights do you have?" replied the customer. After some searching, the agent came back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a Hippopotamus anywhere." The customer retorted, "Oh don't be silly. Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!" The agent scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?"
Yep, those are real people and guess what........some of them may be your neighbors.
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Unavoidable Laws
These are the unavoidable laws of the natural universe...
1. Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.
2. Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
3. Law of probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
4. Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.
5. Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
6. Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now. (works every time).
7. Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
8. Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
9. Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
10. Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
11. Theater Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.
12. Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
13. Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
14. Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich of landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness, color and cost of the carpet/rug.
15. Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.
16. Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
17. Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.
18. Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.
19. Wilson's Law: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
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Well good morning once again everyboomie.
You may not believe this, but I am NOT really a people person.
I hate having my space....my cozy world, invaded.
My brother and sister are coming from Texas to work on getting the house ready to sell, while my other sister (the one I live with) allows her daughter and granddaughter to come up and use the only spare bedroom we have.
Still wonder why I pick on her??
I guess I am happiest when there are no more than two people in the house.
Preferably no more than one.
I am a rock
I am an island....
One of the invaders needs to go to bed on my couch, so I'm going to retire.
It's been one long day.
Have a great day everyone.
joe
acebook
witter
Hope you have a fantastic Wednesday.
