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Thump Day #963262
06/19/14 12:30 AM
06/19/14 12:30 AM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
Iron rusts from disuse; stagnant water loses its purity and in cold weather becomes frozen; even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind.
Leonardo da Vinci (1452 - 1519), The Notebooks
~~~~~~~~~~

Unit Conversion

Here is the official unit conversion chart for engineers...


1. Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi

2. 2,000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won ton

3. 1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope

4. Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = 1 bananosecond

5. Weight one evangelist carries with God = 1 billigram

6. Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour = Knotfurlong

7. 16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone = 1 Rod Serling

8. Half of a large intestine = 1 semicolon

9. 1,000,000 aches = 1 megahurtz

10. Basic unit of laryngitis = 1 hoarsepower

11. Shortest distance between two jokes = A straight line

12. 453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake

13. 1 million-million microphones = 1 megaphone

14. 2 million bicycles = 2 megacycles

15. 365.25 days = 1 unicycle

16. 2,000 mockingbirds = 2 kilomockingbirds

17. 52 cards = 1 decacards

18. 1 kilogram of falling figs = 1 FigNewton

19. 1,000 milliliters of wet socks = 1 literhosen

20. 1 millionth of a fish = 1 microfiche

21. 1 trillion pins = 1 terrapin

22. 10 rations = 1 decoration

23. 100 rations = 1 C-ration

24. 2 monograms = 1 diagram

25. 4 nickels = 2 paradigms

26. 2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital = 1 IV League
~~~~~~~~~~~~

Using The ATM
The differences between how a woman and a man uses a drive-through banking machine. Here is his and hers ATM usage explained...

HIS

1. Pull up to ATM

2. Insert card

3. Enter PIN number and account

4. Take cash, card and receipt



HER

1. Pull up to ATM

2. Check makeup in rearview mirror

3. Shut off engine

4. Put keys in purse

5. Get out of car because you're too far from machine

6. Hunt for card in purse

7. Insert card

8. Hunt in purse for wrapper with PIN number written on it

9. Enter PIN number

10. Study instructions for at least 2 minutes.

11. Hit "cancel"

12. Re-enter correct PIN number

13. Check balance

14. Look for envelope

15. Look in purse for pen

16. Make out deposit slip

17. Endorse checks

18. Make deposit

19. Study instructions

20. Make cash withdrawal

21. Get in car

22. Check makeup

23. Look for keys

24. Start car

25. Check makeup

26. Start pulling away

27. STOP

28. Back up to machine

29. Get out of car

30. Take card and receipt

31. Get back in car

32. Put card in wallet

33. Put receipt in checkbook

34. Enter deposits and withdrawals in checkbook

35. Clear area in purse for wallet and checkbook

36. Check makeup

37. Put car in gear, reverse

38. Put car in drive

39. Drive away from machine

40. Travel 3 miles

41. Release parking brake

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Welfare Letters

The following are sentences taken from actual letters received by welfare departments on applications for support:


I am forwarding my marriage certificate and six children. I had seven but one died which was baptized on a half sheet of paper.

I am writing the welfare department to say my baby was born 2 years old. When do I get my money?

Mrs. Jones had not have any clothes for a year and has been visited regularly by the clergy.

I cannot get sick pay. I have six children. Can you tell me why.

I am glad to report that my husband who is missing is dead.

This is my eight child. What are you going to do about it.

Please find for certain if my husband is dead. The man I am living with can't eat or drink until he knows.

I am very much annoyed to find that you have branded my son illiterate. This is a dirty lie as I was married a week before he was born.

In answer to your letter, I gave birth to a boy weighing ten pounds: I hope this is satisfactory.

I am forwarding my marriage certificate and my three children; one of which is a mistake as you can see.

My husband got his project cut off two weeks ago and I haven't had any relief since.

Unless I get my husband's money pretty soon, I will be forced to lead an immortal life.

You have changed my little boy into a girl. Will this make any difference.

I have no children as my husband is a truck driver and works night and day.

In accordance with your instruction, I have given birth to twins in the enclosed envelope.

I want money as quick as I can get, so I have been in bed with doctor for two weeks and he doesn't do me any good. If things don't improve I will have to send for another doctor.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie. welcome


This is another quickie I'm afraid. blush


I need to go lock myself in my room and achieve a little solitude before this day is over, and before I go postal. razz


I hope everyone had a super day. yes


G'night everyone. wave


joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #963266
06/19/14 01:46 AM
06/19/14 01:46 AM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Haroula Offline
Adept Boomer
Haroula  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Good morning Joe and all who follow later. wave
Hot hot hot...summer is here for good.
Have all a great day. happydance smile


I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".

Re: Thump Day [Re: Haroula] #963273
06/19/14 03:22 AM
06/19/14 03:22 AM
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 6,145
Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
cailyn Offline
BAAG Specialist
cailyn  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 6,145
Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
Good morning Joe,Haroula,and all who are to follow wave It's finally hot here too Haroula :)Coffee is ready wishing you all a great day! puppy


I may not have gone where I intended to go,but I think I have ended up where I need to be.

Sue
Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #963277
06/19/14 04:58 AM
06/19/14 04:58 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe, Haroula and Sue. Joe sleep tight! Haroula hope you get to cool off on the beach! Sue how are you doing? Hope all is well with you. Wishing you all a get day! wave


Gerry
Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #963282
06/19/14 05:58 AM
06/19/14 05:58 AM
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Midge Offline
Graduate Boomer
Midge  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Good morning. Joe, I'm helping myself to BB pancakes.I hope there are some. I need a blueberry fix this morning. It's been so long since I've had any. Oooohhh I think I found some. Thank you Joe. I hope you have a good day today.

Morning Haroula,Sue, Gerry, and all who come in the diner today. We have nice weather for the next few days. That's good because I'm going to my niece's in Greenfield Ma tomorrow to celebrate my Mom's life. I'll see my sister and BIL in from San Francisco. There will be cousins and more relatives there. I can't wait to see everyone. I haven't seen my sister Gail in a year.

Have a great day everyone. I have to work at 5:00 later this afternoon.

Midgie hearts woot dance taz broccoli yay


Just do it.
Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #963285
06/19/14 06:39 AM
06/19/14 06:39 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,019
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,019
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. I sure wish this cold I have would get better. To all here and all who follow, have a Great Thump day. Danish, Muffins, and French Toast in the NC. lab


Connie
Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #963307
06/19/14 08:56 AM
06/19/14 08:56 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers: kitty

Joe, have a wonderful day.

Haroula, do you enjoy the hot weather?

Sue, coffee please and thank you!

Gerry, good day wishes to you.

Midgie, enjoy your visit to celebrate your Mom's life. It's nice that you're getting to see all your relatives. Hugs!

Connie, enjoy whatever plans you have for the day.

Yard work today. Wishing everyone a great Thump Day! puppy


Gail
Re: Thump Day [Re: GBC] #963309
06/19/14 09:21 AM
06/19/14 09:21 AM
Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
Darlene Offline
Adept Boomer
Darlene  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers and I hope this day goes smoothly for you.

Midgie, how wonderful that you get to see your family! hearts

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!


Woohoo and booyah! smile Have an easy peasy day!
Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #963316
06/19/14 10:06 AM
06/19/14 10:06 AM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer
auntiegram  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
Joe hope you found some peace and quiet!! Thanks for the chuckles and have a lovely day!

Haroula Summer is a little sparce here but that's OK I'm not keen on too hot anyway! lol Have a lovely day!

Sue are you busy now that school is out?? Thanks for the coffee and have a lovely day!

Gerry enjoy the nice weather and have a lovely day!

Midge glad it will be nice weather for your mom's celebration of life!! Enjoy the get to gether with the relatives. Have a lovely day!

Connie HUGS and prayers that the cold be gone soonest! Thanks for the danish and have a lovely day!

Gail have fun with the yard work and have a lovely day!

Darlene may work fly and all go smoothly! Have a lovely day!

wave
Nan

Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #963318
06/19/14 10:29 AM
06/19/14 10:29 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 29,022
Unionville
manxman Offline
Sonic Boomer
manxman  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 29,022
Unionville
Good morning boomers. Hope everyone is enjoying their day smile


Sometimes lost is where you need to be. Just because you don't know your direction doesn't mean you don't have one.
Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #963327
06/19/14 11:51 AM
06/19/14 11:51 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist
Sorta Blonde  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
The drama continues with Penelope the Peacock. This morning, I was feeding the Outdoorsies on their picnic table and heard a slight 'shuffle' I looked over and 2 feet away, standing on some bowls of collected rocks was Penelope. Very quietly standing, not causing any trouble. So quiet that the cats didn't even notice her. They usually run helter skelter if she's near. Wow. Way to blend in you 3 foot high, 25 or more pound feathered friend. Only real downside of having her around is the poop piles on the deck (watch where you step) and the now new problem of grapes squishing underfoot and tracking all over from those she managed to get out of the dish but didn't eat. Ugh. New things to keep me on my toes (literally).

Neighbor lady friend and partner in crime finally home after her 'family reunion' vacation she takes once a year. Missed her terribly. Nobody to help me watch the neighborhood and chat with constantly. I had to keep a 'diary' of all the stuff that happened while she was gone and will be going next door in a few to catch her up on the good stuff. Can hardly wait to tell her about Penelope. Arrraaaghhhh!


WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.
Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #963336
06/19/14 01:15 PM
06/19/14 01:15 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Hmmmmm, am sure I posted, but it's not here...I wonder where it is rotfl


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #963340
06/19/14 01:38 PM
06/19/14 01:38 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,267
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,267
In the Naughty Corner
Good afternoon boomies!

Joe, I am not a fan of house guests either except on a few special occasions. Have you decided where you will move to when the house sells?

Connie, I hope you feel better quick. hearts

be back...


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #963341
06/19/14 01:40 PM
06/19/14 01:40 PM
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,402
Lexington, Texas
Yankee Clipper Offline
Addicted Boomer
Yankee Clipper  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,402
Lexington, Texas
I scratched my left eye this AM while rescuing a spider and finding a nice place for her outdoors. It's amazing how it happened -a very stout leaf had to curl under my glasses and find the eye. Anyway it hurts but this too shall pass. but we have a happy spider. Hope it feels better soon because I want to game.

Happy Thursday


I wish I were a cat and belonged to me ~ My Aunt Helen Mary Rose
Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #963344
06/19/14 01:58 PM
06/19/14 01:58 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,267
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,267
In the Naughty Corner
Ouch Yankee! I hope it heals quickly. Anything in the eye is a painful experience.


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #963347
06/19/14 02:01 PM
06/19/14 02:01 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Eeek, Yankee...what kind of spider? Hope the eye heals quickly.


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #963359
06/19/14 02:37 PM
06/19/14 02:37 PM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist
Sorta Blonde  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Ouchie! Eye cuts hurt a lot. Do you have any antibiotic drops?I try to kee some on hand for just such occasions. BUT I've never cut my eye rescuing a spider! Special place in heaven for you, Yankee. I do however, get FOOD in my eyes, under my glasses when I eat. For some reason my food just likes to 'explode' and jump under the glasses and into my eyes. Go figure. duh


WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.
Re: Thump Day [Re: Sorta Blonde] #963366
06/19/14 04:02 PM
06/19/14 04:02 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Originally Posted By: Sorta Blonde
For some reason my food just likes to 'explode' and jump under the glasses and into my eyes. Go figure. duh


Sorta, I frequently "wear" what I was eating on my chest, but must say, never in my eyes. rotfl


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #963382
06/19/14 05:08 PM
06/19/14 05:08 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good afternoon Boomers. wave


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #963390
06/19/14 05:53 PM
06/19/14 05:53 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,267
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,267
In the Naughty Corner
Sorta, I need you to come stay a week and finish finding out what's up with my new neighbors. I've had my fill of them.

SpaceQ wave

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #963398
06/19/14 07:10 PM
06/19/14 07:10 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Afternoon, Space...

Ana, sounds like you have some neighbor stories to share.

Hubby and I are heading out to the ball game..will be fun...will be hot lol See you in the morning.


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #963406
06/19/14 07:53 PM
06/19/14 07:53 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,267
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,267
In the Naughty Corner
Yeah L4L, I'm afraid that one day it will be a murder/suicide. sad

Have a wonderful night out!


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #963420
06/19/14 09:21 PM
06/19/14 09:21 PM
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Midge Offline
Graduate Boomer
Midge  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Nan can I borrow your BOA for tomorrow? It'll be a 2 and 1/2 hour drive. There are crazies on the road and I need all the help I can get. I think it's about 120 miles from here. Pleaseandthankyou. hearts I hope you feel better Sweetie.

I hope you all had a good day today.

Midgie hearts sleep


Just do it.
Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #963431
06/19/14 11:47 PM
06/19/14 11:47 PM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer
auntiegram  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
Absolutely Midge!! Prayers for the Band around yiou as you are traveling tomorrow. HUGS!!

Time here to call it a day! Night all sleep well and pleasant dreams!!

sleep
Nan

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