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Sip & Surf Sunday #963793
06/22/14 12:30 AM
06/22/14 12:30 AM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
My mother drew a distinction between achievement and success. She said that 'achievement is the knowledge that you have studied and worked hard and done the best that is in you. Success is being praised by others, and that's nice, too, but not as important or satisfying. Always aim for achievement and forget about success.'
Helen Hayes (1900 - 1993)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Women's Questions

Answers to 5 of the toughest questions women ask...


There are five things that women should never, ever ask a guy, according to an article in an issue of Sassy magazine.

The five questions are:

1 - "What are you thinking?"
2 - "Do you love me?"
3 - "Do I look fat?"
4 - "Do you think she is prettier than me?"
5 - "What would you do if I died?"

What makes these questions so bad is that every one is guaranteed to explode into a major argument and/or divorce if the man does not answered properly, which is to say dishonestly. For example:



1 - "What are you thinking?" The proper answer to this question, of course is, "I'm sorry if I've been pensive, dear. I was just reflecting on what a warm, wonderful, caring, thoughtful, intelligent, beautiful woman you are and what a lucky guy I am to have met you." Obviously, this statement bears no resemblance whatsoever to what the guy was really thinking at the time, which was most likely one of five things:

a - Football
b - Baseball
c - How fat you are.
d - How much prettier she is than you.
e - How he would spend the insurance money if you died.

According to the Sassy article, the best answer to this stupid question came from Al Bundy, of Married With Children, who was asked it by his wife, Peg. "If I wanted you to know," Al said, "I'd be talking instead of thinking."

The other questions also have only one right answer but many wrong answers:



2 - "Do you love me?" The correct answer to this question is, "Yes." For those guys who feel the need to be more elaborate, you may answer, "Yes, dear." Wrong answers include:

a - I suppose so.
b - Would it make you feel better if I said yes.
c - That depends on what you mean by "love".
d - Does it matter?
e - Who, me?



3 - "Do I look fat?" The correct male response to this question is to confidently and emphatically state, "No, of course not" and then quickly leave the room. Wrong answers include:

a - I wouldn't call you fat, but I wouldn't call you thin either.
b - Compared to what?
c - A little extra weight looks good on you.
d - I've seen fatter.
e - Could you repeat the question? I was thinking about your insurance policy.



4 - "Do you think she's prettier than me?" The "she" in the question could be an ex-girlfriend, a passer-by you were staring at so hard that you almost cause a traffic accident or an actress in a movie you just saw. In any case, the correct response is, "No, you are much prettier." Wrong answers include:

a - Not prettier, just pretty in a different way.
b - I don't know how one goes about rating such things.
c - Yes, but I bet you have a better personality.
d - Only in the sense that she's younger and thinner.
e - Could you repeat the question? I was thinking about your insurance policy.



5 - "What would you do if I died?" Correct answer: "Dearest love, in the event of your untimely demise, life would cease to have meaning for me and I would perforce hurl myself under the front tires of the first Domino's Pizza truck that came my way." This might be the stupidest question of the lot, as is illustrated by the following stupid joke:

"Dear," said the wife. "What would you do if I died?"
"Why, dear, I would be extremely upset," said the husband.
"Why do you ask such a question?"
"Would you remarry?" persevered the wife. "No, of course not, dear" said the husband. "Don't you like being married?" said the wife. "Of course I do, dear" he said.
"Then why wouldn't you remarry?"
"All right," said the husband, "I'd remarry."
"You would?" said the wife, looking vaguely hurt.
"Yes" said the husband.
"Would you sleep with her in our bed?" said the wife after a long pause.
"Well yes, I suppose I would." replied the husband.
"I see," said the wife indignantly. "And would you let her wear my old clothes?"
"I suppose, if she wanted to" said the husband.
"Really," said the wife icily. "And would you take down the pictures of me and replace them with pictures of her?"
"Yes. I think that would be the correct thing to do."
"Is that so?" said the wife, leaping to her feet. "And I suppose you'd let her play with my golf clubs, too."
"Of course not, dear," said the husband. "She's left-handed."
~~~~~~~~~~~~

Women Superiority
We got off the Titanic first.

We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.

When we buy a vibrator it is glamorous. When men buy a blow up doll it's pathetic.

Men's clothes make women look elfin and gorgeous. Men look like complete idiots in women's clothes.

We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game.

Taxi's stop for us.

Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

We know the Truth about whether or not size matters.

If we're not making enough money we can blame it on the glass ceiling.

It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.

No fashion faux pas we make could ever rival the male's Speedo.

We don't have to [blip] to amuse ourselves.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Women Timeline
When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend.

When I was 16 I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion, so I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life.

In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability.

When I was 25 I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I decided that I needed a girl with some excitement.

When I was 28 I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad impetuous things and made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some real ambition.

When I turned 31, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground and married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned.

I am now older and wiser, and am looking for a girl with big breast. grin
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie. welcome


One down, some more to go. thumbsup


Maybe it's two down, I don't know for sure. think


Maybe it's first and ten. yay HUT HUT!


My next day off is the 12th of never, and I've been promised a whole week off. penguin


Are they a good company or what? yes


What?? shocked


SSSHHHHHH don't tell anyone. I haven't had my next review. blush


Skip to the loo my darling.


Have a happy day everyone.


joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Sip & Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #963795
06/22/14 12:41 AM
06/22/14 12:41 AM
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 3,440
47.79N, 122.24W
BobH Offline
Addicted Boomer
BobH  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 3,440
47.79N, 122.24W
Of course we all know that Ward Cleaver knew exactly how to answer those difficult questions. grin
Thanks for the jokes Joe.

Hope everyone has a great Sunday.


Bob
As I've grown older, I've found that my memory is not as good as I used to think it was.
Re: Sip & Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #963797
06/22/14 01:14 AM
06/22/14 01:14 AM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,268
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,268
In the Naughty Corner
Good morning all! It's a new day with new beginnings. What a weekend. I'm invited to a pool party but haven't decided what the day will bring for me.

Have a happy day Joe, Bob and all....

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Sip & Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #963805
06/22/14 02:45 AM
06/22/14 02:45 AM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Haroula Offline
Adept Boomer
Haroula  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Have all a nice and relaxing Sunday. happydance wave


I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".

Re: Sip & Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #963814
06/22/14 05:14 AM
06/22/14 05:14 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
summer Good Morning Joe, BobH, Ana and Haroula. Coffee is ready. Wishing you all a great summer day! summer


Gerry
Re: Sip & Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #963818
06/22/14 06:12 AM
06/22/14 06:12 AM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Work whoosh time. wave Have a great Sunday, everyone. summer


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Sip & Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #963819
06/22/14 07:33 AM
06/22/14 07:33 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. Ana, I'm so sorry you missed your concert again. thumbsdown To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful Sunday. Going out to breakfast and some shopping with Robert. Danish, Omelets, Bacon, Sausage, Hash Browns, and Toast in the NC. lab


Connie
Re: Sip & Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #963830
06/22/14 08:27 AM
06/22/14 08:27 AM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Have a great Sunday everyone. smile


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Sip & Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #963831
06/22/14 08:31 AM
06/22/14 08:31 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers: rah

A happy, enjoyable day is wished to everyone this morning!

Church this morning and then whatever will present itself today. happydance


Gail
Re: Sip & Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #963839
06/22/14 10:10 AM
06/22/14 10:10 AM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer
auntiegram  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
I am off and running today but had to stop in and wish everybody a lovely day!!!

Mqay you all have a lovely day!

wave
Nan

Re: Sip & Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #963844
06/22/14 10:23 AM
06/22/14 10:23 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 29,026
Unionville
manxman Offline
Sonic Boomer
manxman  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 29,026
Unionville
Good morning boomers. Hope everyone is having a super Sunday smile


Sometimes lost is where you need to be. Just because you don't know your direction doesn't mean you don't have one.
Re: Sip & Surf Sunday [Re: manxman] #963848
06/22/14 10:28 AM
06/22/14 10:28 AM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
Good moaning everybody. wave

I'm on my way out the door to work.

I hope everyone has a super Sunday. yes

See you tonight after 7:00. thumbsup


joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Sip & Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #963856
06/22/14 11:23 AM
06/22/14 11:23 AM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,661
Alabama
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
soot  Offline
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,661
Alabama
Good morning everyone .. Woo Hoo .. Happy Sunday to one and all .. enjoy!

wave


Dan
...
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music Stay Smart & Stay Safe
Re: Sip & Surf Sunday [Re: soot] #963868
06/22/14 11:59 AM
06/22/14 11:59 AM
Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
Darlene Offline
Adept Boomer
Darlene  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers and have a great Sip & Surf Sunday!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Slept in.... woot

Hubby is playing raquetball. Then, we'll barbecue later. Easy peasy.... smile

Alrighty, off to see what's afoot!


Woohoo and booyah! smile Have an easy peasy day!
Re: Sip & Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #963878
06/22/14 12:30 PM
06/22/14 12:30 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,268
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,268
In the Naughty Corner
Good morning boomies! I'm off to run the dogs and then to the baby store to order SAm's nursery rocker/glider. Then I am invited to a pool party at a friends house so it's a toss up between that and a bike ride. Or I may bring my bike and go ride by her house (it's a 12 mile loop forest preserve by her).

I have to get rolling because I am not getting a thing done today! rotfl

Happy Sunday all! Life is good!


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Sip & Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #963881
06/22/14 12:36 PM
06/22/14 12:36 PM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist
Sorta Blonde  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Loved the 'women questions'. My Dad always told me, "Never ask a question if you really don't want to know the answer." I think he was right.

Penelope is a no-show again at least for the morning feeding. She will probably appear just after I send this message. Everyone else is present and accounted for include the millions of ANTS which found their way up the table leg and onto the feeding surface and into all the dishes, etc. Since they always attack from ONE leg only (of the 20 legs counting table and 4 chairs) it's easy to stop the onslaught. Just find the trail, spray the one leg and wait for them to all crawl back down hoping to go home with goodies. They then get zapped on the ground and no more coming up. Neat. Any stragglers get swept off by hand and will have to see if they can find the access hole in the deck. Unfortunately, I also sprayed that so it's not going to be a good day for the ants.

Again, too quiet around here. Expect something big to happen soon.


WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.
Re: Sip & Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #963888
06/22/14 01:04 PM
06/22/14 01:04 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Super Sunday ya'll puppy

Son took the boys to work with him this morning, so Soot and and I are enjoying a quiet day. I had a nice chat with my sister while doing some quiet cleaning and organizing. Soot is feeding dogs as I type, and now it's time to sit and surf for a bit. Then it may be time to Justify a bit.

Joe, love your quote! Sounds like a good life philosophy to me. Helen Hayes is one of my very favorite actresses.

Have a great day, BobH wave

Ana, it's a good day to hang out at the pool here.

Haroula, is there relaxing in your day?

Gerry, enjoy yours.

Venus, woohooo..work happydance

Happy shopping, Connie...and thanks for the bacon and hash browns.

Space wave

Gail, hope "whatever" is fun.

Nan, hope the running is a good time.

Manx, hope all is great. wave

Darlene, sounds like a wonderful day. Enjoy!

Sorta, hope they aren't crazy ants.

edit: Weather warning radio keeps insisting on going off...




Last edited by looney4labs; 06/22/14 01:05 PM.

"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Sip & Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #963897
06/22/14 01:56 PM
06/22/14 01:56 PM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist
Sorta Blonde  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Sounds scary where you are L4L! Stay safe!

Penelope showed up for brunch. She's on 'her' table eating grapes. Such a pretty bird and SO big! Scary but I'm just not a bird person. She's definitely fascinating though.

Gotta get out of the house. Such a nice breezy sunny day it's a shame to stay inside. Later...


WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.
Re: Sip & Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #963901
06/22/14 02:12 PM
06/22/14 02:12 PM
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,402
Lexington, Texas
Yankee Clipper Offline
Addicted Boomer
Yankee Clipper  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,402
Lexington, Texas
Good you're enjoying Penelope.........I know if mooch(opossum) didn't show up every night I'd worry. She/he sure likes that fancy feast.

not much to write about, maybe the weather. It's cooler today!!!!

Quiet and lazy day and nothing to eat in the fridge. Curses


I wish I were a cat and belonged to me ~ My Aunt Helen Mary Rose
Re: Sip & Surf Sunday [Re: Yankee Clipper] #963962
06/22/14 09:54 PM
06/22/14 09:54 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good night Boomers. wave


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Sip & Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #963963
06/22/14 09:56 PM
06/22/14 09:56 PM
Joined: Dec 1999
Posts: 69,973
MaG Offline
Sonic Boomer
MaG  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Dec 1999
Posts: 69,973
Good night, SpaceQ. Have a nice sleep.

Re: Sip & Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #963967
06/22/14 10:46 PM
06/22/14 10:46 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,268
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,268
In the Naughty Corner
I hope everyone enjoyed today! It was a lovely day here and I went to a friends house for a pool party. We had a nice afternoon and I've been just relaxing this afternoon. It's been a great day.

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Sip & Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #963976
06/23/14 12:00 AM
06/23/14 12:00 AM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer
auntiegram  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
Night all sleep well and pleasant dreams!

sleep
Nan

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