-1. A car hit an elderly man. The paramedic says, "Are you comfortable? " The man says, "I m--- a g--- l-----."
2. I just got back from a p------- t---. I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
-3. Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won't be reporting it. The thief spends less than my w--- d--.
4. My wife and I always hold hands. If I let go, she s---s.
5. My Wife was at the beauty shop for two hours. That was only for the e-------. She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the m-- f--- off.
-6. The Doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so the doctor gave him a------ six months.
7. he Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, "Mrs. Cohen, your check came back." Mrs. Cohen replied, "So did my a-------s!"
-8. A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says, "You've been brought here for drinking. " The drunk says, "Okay, let's g-- s------."
-9. Patient: "I have a ringing in my ears. " Doctor: "D--'- a-----!"
10. My wife and I revisited the hotel where we spent our wedding night. This time I was the one who stayed in the b------- and c----.
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witter
