If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
Robert X. Cringely, InfoWorld magazine
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You're An Engineer If
You might be an engineer if...You and your co-workers have set out to modify the antenna on the radio in your work area for better reception.
All your sentences begin with "what if".
At Christmas, it goes without saying that you will be the one to find the burnt-out bulb in the string.
Buying flowers for your girlfriend or spending the money to upgrade your RAM is a moral dilemma.
Dilbert is your hero.
Everyone else on the Alaskan cruise is on deck peering at the scenery, and you are still on a personal tour of the engine room.
In college you thought Spring Break was a metal fatigue failure.
On vacation, you are reading a computer manual and turning the pages faster than someone else who is reading a John Grisham novel.
People groan at the party when you pick out the music.
The blinking 12:00 on someone's VCR draws you in like a tractor beam to fix it.
The only jokes you receive are through e-mail.
The salespeople at Circuit City can't answer any of your questions.
The thought that a CD could refer to finance or music never enters your mind.
When you go into a computer store, you eavesdrop on a salesperson talking with customers and you butt in to correct him and spend next twenty minutes answering the customers' questions, while the salesperson stands by silently, nodding his head.
You are able to argue persuasively that Ross Perot's phrase "electronic town hall" makes more sense than the term "information superhighway," but you don't because, after all, the man still uses hand-drawn pie charts.
You are always late to meetings.
You are at an air show and know how fast the skydivers are falling.
You are aware that computers are actually only good for playing games, but are afraid to say so out loud.
You are convinced you can build a phazer from your garage door opener and your camera's flash attachment.
You are currently gathering the components to build your own nuclear reactor.
You are next in line on death row in a French prison and you find that the guillotine is not working properly so you offer to fix it.
You are still drinking Mr. Pibb.
You are wine tasting and find yourself paying more attention to the cork screws than the '84 Chardonnay.
You bought your wife a new CD ROM for her birthday.
You bought your wife's valentine gift at orchard supply.
You can name at least six Star Trek episodes.
You can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie.
You can type 70 words a minute but can't read your own handwriting.
You can understand anything Al Gore says.
You can't fit any more colored pens in your shirt pocket.
You can't remember where you parked your car for the 3rd time this week.
You can't write unless the paper has both horizontal and vertical lines.
You carry a list for everything except the groceries.
You carry on a one-hour debate over the expected results of a test that actually takes five minutes to run.
You comment to your wife that her straight hair is nice and parallel You disdain people who use low baud rates.
You do Darth Vader or Battlestar Gallactica impersonations by talking into a spinning fan.
You drive a gremlin with a "Beam me up Scotty" bumper sticker.
You ever burned down the gymnasium with your science fair project You ever forgot to get a haircut ... for 6 months.
You find yourself at the airport on your vacation studying the baggage handling equipment.
You go on the rides at Disneyland and sit backwards in the chairs to see how they do the special effects.
You have "Dilbert" comics displayed anywhere in your work area.
You have a functioning home copier machine, but every toaster you own turns bread into charcoal.
You have a habit of destroying things in order to see how they work.
You have ever debated who was a better captain: Kirk or Piccard.
You have ever owned a calculator with no equals key and know what RPN stands for.
You have ever purchased an electronic appliance "as-is".
You have ever saved the power cord from a broken appliance.
You have ever taken the back off your TV just to see what's inside.
You have introduced your kids by the wrong name.
You have memorized the Discovery Channel program schedule but have seen most of the shows already.
You have modified your can opener to be microprocessor driven.
You have more friends on the Internet than in real life.
You have never backed up your hard drive.
You have never bought any new underwear or socks for yourself since you got married.
You have used coat hangers and duct tape for something other than hanging coats and taping ducts.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You're A Teacher If...You believe the staff room should be equipped with a Valium salt lick.
You find humor in other people's stupidity.
You want to slap the next person who says "Must be nice to work 8 to 3:20 and have summers free."
You believe chocolate is a food group.
You can tell if it's a full moon without ever looking outside.
You believe "Shallow gene pool" should have its own box in the report card.
You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says "Boy, the kids sure are mellow today.
When out in public you feel the urge to snap your fingers at children you do not know to correct their behavior.
You have no life between August to June.
When you mention "Vegetables" you're not talking about a food group.
You think people should be required to get a government permit before being allowed to reproduce.
You wonder how some parents ever MANAGED to reproduce.
You believe in aerial Prozac spraying.
You believe no one should be permitted to reproduce without having taught in an elementary setting for the last 10 years.
You've ever had your profession slammed by someone who would "Never DREAM" of doing your job.
You think caffeine should be available in intravenous form.
You know you are in for a major project when a parent says "I have a great idea I'd like to discuss. I think it would be such fun."
You want to choke a person when they say "Oh, you must have such FUN everyday. This must be like playtime for you."
Meeting a child's parent instantly answers the question "Why is this kid like this?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Good morning everyboomie.
Welcome to the weekend!
I hope whatever your weekend holds in store 'floats your boat.'
WOOT WOOT! Why only one taco?
Sorry, you had to be there. Wait! Some of you were there.
There's someplace I have to be very shortly.
I get up at 4:30 Saturday morning. It'll be nice sleeping in late.
Well my brothers did not get here yesterday, as planned, but they did arrive today, and are at Lowe's as I type getting the needed materials for the bathrooms.
My Sister didn't leave town, as I was told.
It's a bitter sweet weekend.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
acebook
witter
Good Morning Joe, SpaceQ, Haroula and Sue. Wishing everyone a Super Saturday! 
Enjoy your Saturday.
