I believe that every human has a finite number of heart-beats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises.
Buzz Aldrin (1930 - )
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Top Ten Things To Say About a Christmas Gift You Don't Like...10. Hey! Now there's a gift!
9. Well, well, well...
8. Boy, if I had not recently shot up 4 sizes that would've fit.
7. This is perfect for wearing around the basement.
6. Gosh. I hope this never catches fire! It is fire season though. There are lots of unexplained fires.
5. If the dog buries it, I'll be furious!
4. I love it - but I fear the jealousy it will inspire.
3. Sadly, tomorrow I enter the Federal Witness Protection Program.
2. To think I got this the year I vowed to give all my gifts to charity.
1. I really don't deserve this.
Top Ten Signs That You've Had Too Much Of The 90's...10. When you make phone calls from home, you accidentally insert a "9" to get an outside line.
9. When you go home after a long day at work you still answer the phone in a business manner.
8. You hear most of your jokes via email instead of in person.
7. Your idea of being organized is multiple colored post-it notes.
6. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends is that they do not have e-mail addresses.
5. You chat on-line regularly with a stranger from the US, but haven't spoken with your next door neighbor yet this year.
4. You e-mail your work colleague at the desk next to you to ask if they're ready to go to lunch.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 4.
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
1. You try to enter your password on the microwave.
Top Ten Signs You Know You've Joined A Redneck HMO...10. Your Viagra prescription includes a Popsicle stick and some duct tape.
9. The only 100% covered expense is embalming.
8. Your Prozac comes in colors and has little "m"s on each pill.
7. Preventive Care Coverage includes "an apple a day".
6. Your primary care physician is wearing the pants you gave to Goodwill last month.
5. The Lone Star Bar and Grill is an approved pharmacy.
4. The only proctologist lists his address as Rotorooter.
3. The tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicles.
2. Directions to the Dr.'s office include "Take a left when you enter the trailer park".
1. The annual breast exam is conducted at Hooter's
Top Ten Reasons To Go To Work Naked...1. Your boss is always yelling, "I wanna see your ass in here by 8:00!"
2. Can take advantage of computer monitor radiation to work on your tan.
3. "I'd love to chip in, but I left my wallet in my pants."
4. To stop those creepy guys in Marketing from looking down your blouse.
5. You want to see if it's like the dream.
6. So that with a little help from Muzak you can add "Exotic Dancer" to your exaggerated resume.
7. People stop stealing your pens after they've seen where you keep them.
8. Diverts attention from the fact that you also came to work drunk.
9. Gives "bad hair day" a whole new meaning.
10. No one steals your chair.
Top Ten List On How To Be An Annoying Usher..10. Show up drunk. I mean REALLY drunk.
9. SQUEEZE as many people as you can in each row before opening up the next one. We're going for efficiency here.
8. Two words: "Bathroom Key"
7. Insist on frisking all female guests. Body cavity searches are optional.
6. "March" down the aisle and speak with a German accent as you show people to their seats.
5. Urinate in front of each row you are about to open up. Make comments about marking your territory.
4. Pretend you are the Phantom of the Opera. Lurk in the shadows when time permits.
3. Offer your "services" to all guests.
2. Offer guests the opportunity to be included in your plans for world domination.
1. Insist on a pants-free environment.
Top Ten Nine Things Not To Say To Your New Girlfriend's Parents...10. Can I pull my car in your garage? I'm not sure how long that cop car will stay lost.
9. There ain't nothing that beats that great feeling of knowing your HIV test results are negative! I bet Sara's will be okay too.
8. Nice place you got here. That painting looks expensive. I bet a nice home like this came with a safe already built in, didn't it?
7. Sara is so pretty I've decided to give up being bisexual just for her.
6. Those home pregnancy kits aren't very reliable in my opinion.
5. We're going to keep our relationship quiet for now. My wife can be rather vindictive at times.
4. Can you believe it! Those shit heads at the corner market won't cash my welfare check!
2. Did you see that saucer that flew over town yesterday?
1. My parole officer thinks Sara has a calming effect on me.
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Good morning everyboomie.
I can't believe it's Tuesday already. My weekend is half over.
Oh wait I'm supposed to be optimistic and say it's half full.
By that standard you might say I'm half conscious.
I might also be said to be half full of wit.
I need all of it I think to do this any justice.
I know one thing for sure. I'm completely full of readiness for bed.
Half a happy day everyboomie.
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Coffee is ready wishing you all a great day!Ana hope the rain stops for you 
May the corner be kind and full of goodies and the puzzles go quickly!! Have a lovely day!
Oh my goodness! Food all put away and sitting and sipping for a bit while researching. Son's friend was stung by a wasp and his hand is all swollen. Looking for natural remedies. 
