Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book.
Ronald Reagan (1911 - 2004)
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Airlines Take Cost Cutting to New Lows

August 5, 2002 - Mississippi, USA
In an effort to cut costs, major airlines are resorting to cutting back even the smallest of items to curb expenditures. One in particular is the removal of barf bags on flights commencing August. "Annual savings are expected to exceed $450,200US", stated investor relations manager Carol Bauer, "The small percentage who actually use them are increasing ticket prices for the rest." But outraged motion sickness prone travelers had a less enthusiastic view of the matter. "I guess I will just have to hurl onto the meal tray. Frankly, based on my last flight, I don't think the Saut�ed Pork and vegetable melody will look much different if I did." said one angry traveler. When the airlines were asked what they expected passengers to do in the event of motion sickness they replied, "Users of our planes who are prone to such sensitivities should bring with them preventative medicines and appropriate containers, we are not operating a flying hospital."

Man Never Misses Trip To Gym For 5 Years

July 29, 2002 - Florida, USA
In an attempt to force himself into a healthy routine of exercise, a Florida man hired a hit man to kill him if he failed to show up to any of his 3 weekly workouts for the past 5 years. "At first I thought the ridiculous membership fees and that ludicrous up front joining fee would make me workout so I wouldn't waste the money - but that didn't work. Within weeks I was coming up with all sorts of lame pathetic excuses not to go. So I decided that if money wouldn't promote me to go, losing my life would. The hit man idea has worked like a charm, maybe even too good. There were some times that I truly would have preferred not to go, like that time I had bronchial asthmatic pneumonia. I've never had so much dark green mucus running down my face in my life, you should have seen that treadmill afterwards. But with all its ups and downs, my only complaint lately is that what I originally thought were expensive gym fees have been over shadowed by the high cost of the hit man. Now that I want to stop, I can't because I told him to shoot me if I told him I wanted to give up."

Publisher Releases Guide to Kicking Cats

July 25, 2002 - USA
The 45 page colour instructional book entitled "Kicking Cats" guides men through the process of kicking cats down flights of stairs without repercussions from their spouse or girlfriends. "It isn't as easy as one would think to successfully do and get away with", comments author John Moore. "I was caught numerous times by my at the time girlfriends and eventually became determined to develop a fail-proof process. This book represents years of studying, practicing, research and an estimated 150 test cats. At first I was somewhat alarmed by my dislike for cats, when considering how much my girlfriends and ex-wife liked them. But after talking to scores of other men about my pent up feelings of anger towards cats, I realized I was far from alone. That is why the introduction goes into great detail about the history of cat kicking and some of the current theories on men's hatred of cats. The secret to a successful kick is to first befriend the cat, building its trust in you. It is when the cat is truly relaxed and comfortable around you that you can then angle it towards the stair case for a mighty punt."

Pope visits Lake Simcoe

July 22, 2002 - Ontario, Canada
Not only is it part of the Popes job to visit many parts of the globe, but it is also his passionate goal to see as many places as he can in his life time. When questioned, as to what brought him to Lake Simcoe he replied "Well, I have been everywhere on my 'must see' list; 'could be nice' list; 'well, what the hey' list and 'its so cheap I can't afford not to' list, now I'm basically going through all the places I really never wanted to go to."

AOL Advert Campaign Actor Dies of Boredom

July 22, 2002 - California, USA
Jeffery Goldstein, the actor whose embarrassing line "I love when it says 'You've got mail', won him enemies the world over, passed away last night due to extreme unbelievable boredom. When questioning his mother about her son she stated, "What he said in the ad was actually true, he would spend hours a day signing up for spam lists, newsletters, write e-cards to himself and even post messages on bulletin boards asking others to spam his email address just so he could hear that retched 'You've got mail'". His mother continued on to explain the cause of the death, "But when the speakers attached to his computer stopped working last night, a few hours after the last 'You've got mail', he slipped into a boredom induced death spiral. The doctor said the symptoms of his death are similar to thousands others who were listening to the latest Celine Dion album."

Lack of Talent Contest Being Held for Next Batch of Mac Commercials

July 22, 2002 - New York, USA
Apple's new "Switch" television ad campaign, featuring people who didn't quite know what to do with a Windows based PC that moved to that Mac platform, will continue into the summer season. In order to find actors similarly dense and ignorant to the ones featured in the first batch of commercials, Apple will be holding a Lack of Talent contest. Campaign producer Ted Zielchman commented, "All of the actors we were getting from the talent agencies were too intelligent, and these are people who are usually rejected based on lack of intelligence, so we are faced with a unique problem. I believe though, based on the applicants for the contest so far, we have some likely candidates. Some were unable to even spell their name and had that 'not so bright look on their face' - consistent with the first batch of actors we used. The first batch were easy to find, we visited the local district Mac Club. After that we simply had a hard time finding anyone willing to admit being an Apple user."
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Good morning everyboomie.


Gymcandy joe here. The bard of jokes.


Yesterday I went to Walmart to get some things and then spent the rest of the day cleaning, and then repainting Pepper's penthouse.


I told you I would.


I can't believe it took 6 cans of spray paint.


I had other things I needed to do, but I have been putting 'this thing' off for a very looong time.


I painted it 'hammered chocolate brown."


Pepper loves chocolate.


Have a happy day everyone.



joe

Dig the jester icon Joe.

Monday already? Time keeps ticking away. I bet it feels good to get the cage out of the way.

SpaceQ - Have a happy day!

I'll be in the corner today...you can just assume that until Saturday.

Have a happy day!

Ana

Good morning, have all a happy day.

Good Morning Joe, SpaceQ, Ana and Haroula. Coffee is ready. Wishing everyone a Happy Day!

Good morning everyone. To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful Monday. Danish, Muffins, and Bacon Sandwiches in the NC.

Good Morning Boomers:

Joe, bet Pepper is a happy camper today.

Space, good morning and good day!

Ana, your being busy in the corner makes for more happy gaming for us.

Haroula, happy day to you also.

Gerry, need a couple of cups of that coffee this morning.

Connie, happy Monday. Thanks for the Danish.

A trip for groceries today. Wishing everyone a great start to the week.

Good morning boomers. Hope you all are having a magnificent Monday

Good morning everyone .. I'm enjoying one more day off before it's time to get back to work .. Happy Moanday to one and all!

Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Sounds like you've been busy! Have a great Monday!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!

Magnificent Monday Ya'll

Hubby is off, son is still sleeping, and I'm sitting and surfing. Will take Miss Seagy to the vet in a few minutes for her routine post chemo blood test. Not sure what else will be on the agenda

Cooler today a bit. Only because the humidity is a bit lower. We hate humidity here. Have to sit under the fan all day and night to keep cool. When I say hot, I mean high 70's and low 80's. I know, it could be worse. It's always so nice here, just a bit of 'weather' gets to me. I leave all my windows OPEN all year. All 14 of them. And I don't have air conditioning. Still it's nice, I shouldn't complain. I used to live in the desert (for 9 long years) where the temps got to 115-120 in the summer and everything was sooooo hot. I got used to that. Very very dry heat so unless you actually touched something outside or wanted to breathe , it was actually nice. Everything was air-conditioned and all stores open ALL night so you could shop when it was cooler. Cooler meant in the 90's. I guess I'm just spoiled here. Love it.

My word, sorta, if it were 70 here I'd put on a sweater -summer is usually 100+ on the back porch by the afternoon and the thermometer was made in Germany so you know it's correct.

Tell Penelope I had green grapes with breakfast and they were Good.

It was on the radio Saturday that BMW's have a peculiar odor -like a locker room. My son has one and next time I'm riding in it I must notice. Now why do they. so much to learn, so little time.

There were a few more uninteresting fireworks last night and I cussed them. All right old lady. Cussed 2 things at once as I was very mad at Killzone too.

Enough rambling -happy Monday all

Must be a lucky day 7/7/14. I should buy a lottery ticket! Just got a letter saying that my fouled up Medicare deduction from my retirement and duplicated by Social Security will be returned soon. Wheeee! After all my calls, and letter, and emails, Someone finally figured it out and I get back some of my money. Maybe I will make it to the end of the month after all. Going to check my bank account now.

Sorta, we hate humidity too, but sadly, it loves us! I'm so glad you are getting your money thing straightened out.

Yankee

Good afternoon Boomers. Trying to deal with another five day work week.

Yay.....I made it. Been a busy day and half of it is already gone.

Joe thanks for the chuckles and have a lovely day!

Haroula I hope you had a lovely day!

Ana May the corner be kind and the puzzles easy! Have a lovely day! I suppose you are in the corner till the weekend when hubbys vacation is over.

Gerry, Connie, Gail, Manxman, Sorta, and Yankee have a lovely day!

Darlene may all go smoothly today! Have a lovely day!

Soot enjoy the extra day off and may it be lovely!!

L4l good luck at the Vet with Seagy!! Have a lovely day!

Space have a lovely afternoon and evening!!

I will finish a few things and then be off again to play some BINGO!!!


Nan

Still having a good day. Managed to drag out my sewing machine (I have a portable in my pantry because of limited space in my tiny house) and added elastic to two of my fitted sheets that lost their stretch long ago. It's a chore, but once everything is out and back it's well worth the effort. Now my sheets won't keep slipping off while I sleep. Wheeee!

Good evening boomies! No dog run today, just a boring corner day. I have lots to do, so I am going back to it...

Nan, hubby is back to work as of this morning. He was off for ten days and I worked 8 of them. How's the baby doing?

Hope you all are enjoying your day!

Awww, Ana, sorry it worked out that way.

Time to feed the dogs and then head to bed. We will be up early tomorrow to walk the monkeys. Sweet dreams all

Hi all. Been a busy day. Worked hard at the Blisses. Home now. Just relaxing. My computer will be fixed on Wednesday I hope. I hope you all had a great day. I have an early shift in the morning so I'm calling it a night. Night everyone.

Midgie

Oh Ana I see. It seems like it was just the other day your said he was starting vacation. Sorry you had to work most of it.

Little Tommy is doing much better. He is off the ventilator now but still on antibiotics and should be able to go home maybe tomorrow. He had the hiccups while being born and inhaled some amniotic fluid. Thanks for asking.

Well time here to find my pillow. Night everybody sleep well and pleasant dreams!!


Nan