Have courage for the great sorrows of life and patience for the small ones; and when you have laboriously accomplished your daily task, go to sleep in peace. God is awake.
Victor Hugo (1802 - 1885)
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More dumb Newspaper headlines from actual newspapers.Include Your Children When Baking Cookies
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Drunks Get Nine Months in Violin Case
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
Teacher Strike Idles Kids
Clinton Wins Budget; More Lies Ahead
Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
Miners Refuse to Work After Death
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
Stolen Painting Found by Tree
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
War Dims Hope for Peace
Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Crack Found on Governor’s Daughter
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
War Dims Hope for Peace
Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
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Top 10 Dumb Sports Quotes & Bloopers of All Time1. Well, I see in the game in Minnesota that Terry Felton has relieved himself on the mound in the second inning. — Fred White, Kansas City Royals sportscaster, reading a wire-service summary that mistakenly showed the same starter and relief pitcher for the Minnesota Twins.
2. “I’ve never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body.” – Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.
3. “We’re going to turn this team around 360 degrees.” – Jason Kidd, upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks.
4. “I’ve won at every level, except college and pro.”
-Shaquille O’Neal, on his lack of championships.
5. “I quit school in the sixth grade because of pneumonia. Not because I had it, but because I couldn’t spell it.”
-Boxing great Rocky Graziano
6. “I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father”
-Greg Norman
7. “I’m rich. What am I supposed to do, hide it?”
-Detroit Tiger Lou Whitaker, arriving in a stretch limo for a players’ union meeting during the 1994 baseball strike.
8. “The doctors X-rayed my head and found nothing.”
Dizzy Dean explaining how he felt after being hit on the head by a ball in the 1934 World Series.
9. “I can play in the center, on the right, and occasionally on the left side.” – soccer star David Beckham, asked if he was a “volatile” player.
10. “Half this game is ninety per cent mental.” – Danny Ozark, Philadelphia Phillies manager.
Honorable mention:“There is one word in America that says it all, and that word is, ‘You never know.’”
-Pitcher Joaquin Andujar
“That’s why I don’t talk. Because I talk too much.”
-Joaquin Andujar
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Good morning everyboomie.
I see by the old clock on the wall that it's 11:51, which is extremely coincidental because that is the exact same time as what my laptop says.
As Elvis would say, "That's crazy man". They aren't even in the same time zone.
The clock is in the US Central, stinking hot Oklahoma time zone, and my computer is in the World Wide Web time zone.
My point is...........
....oh yeah...
.....that it's 11:51......well no not now. Now it's 11:58.....no....11:59......and that's way past my bed time, which happens to be Slumberland time zone.
Passing out here....
Have a happy day everyone.
joe