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Monday Mourning......Sunshine #972578
08/10/14 07:34 PM
08/10/14 07:34 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.
Emo Philips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, 'How old was your husband?'
'98,' she replied, 'Two years older than me'
'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented.
She responded , 'Hardly worth going home, is it?
~~~~~~~~~~~~

Reporter interviewing a 104-year-old woman:
'And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?' the reporter asked.
She simply replied, 'No peer pressure.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I've sure gotten old! I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement,
New knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes
I'm half blind,
Can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine,
Take 40 different medications that
Make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts.
Have bouts with dementia ..
Have poor circulation;
Hardly feel my hands and feet anymore.
Can't remember if I'm 89 or 98.
Have lost all my friends. But, thank God,
I still have my driver's license.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape,
So I got my doctor's permission to
Join a fitness club and start exercising.
I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors.
I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But,
By the time I got my leotards on, The class was over.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My memory's not as sharp as it used to be.

Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
~~~~~~~~~~~

Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.
~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffee maker.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says, "For Fast Relief".
~~~~~~~~~~~~

THE SENILITY PRAYER:
Grant me the senility to forget the people
I never liked anyway,
The good fortune to run into the ones I do, and
The eyesight to tell the difference.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~


People in the airline industry aren't all serious...

1. On a Continental Flight with a very "senior" flight attendant crew, the pilot said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude And will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants."

2. Heard on a Southwest Airline flight. "Ladies and gentlemen, if you wish to smoke, the smoking section on this airplane is on the wing and if You can light 'em, you can smoke 'em."

3. On landing, the stewardess said, "Please be sure to take all of your belongings. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have."

4. "There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane"

5. "Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."

6. As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Ronald Reagan, alone voice came over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!"

7. After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced, "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted."

8. From a Southwest Airlines employee: "Welcome aboard Southwest flight 245 to Tampa. To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised."

9. "In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small child, pick your favorite."

10. Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Southwest Airlines."

11. "Your seat cushions can be used for flotation; and, in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments."

12. "As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses."

13. And from the pilot during his welcome message: "Delta Airlines is pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight!"

14. Heard on Southwest Airlines just after a very hard landing in Salt Lake City: The flight attendant came on the intercom and said, "That was Quite a bump, and I know what y'all are thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight attendant's fault, it was the asphalt."

15. Overheard on an American Airlines flight into Amarillo, Texas, on a particularly windy and bumpy day: During the final approach, the Captain was really having to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the flight attendant said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo. Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate!"

16. Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal."

17. An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a "Thanks for flying our airline." He said that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady walking with a cane. She said, "Sir, do you mind if I ask you a question?" "Why, no,Ma'am," said the pilot. "What is it?" The little old lady said, "Did we land, or Were we shot down?"

18. After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the attendant came on the horn, " Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Capt. Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we'll open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal."

19. Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we Hope you'll think of US Airways."

20. A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude the Captain made an announcement over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to flight number 293, non-stop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and, therefore, we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax... OH, MY GOD! Silence followed, and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I Scared you earlier. While I was talking to you, the flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!" A passenger in Coach yelled, "That's nothing. You should see the back of mine!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie. welcome


I'm coming at you tonight on the down low. It's an early day tomorrow and I have to get to bed in a short short.


It's going to be a long day. razz


I am already very sore in my legs, back,...........and back side. blush


I'm so tired, I'm about to pass out. think Where have you heard that before? lol


I hope the day brings good things for each of you. bravo


Have a happy one. rah



joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Monday Mourning......Sunshine [Re: gymcandy1] #972580
08/10/14 07:48 PM
08/10/14 07:48 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Good morning Joe! I hope you get a good nights sleep and have a happy day!

I forgot to post these yesterday. Hubby and I took an evening bike ride and came across these two young red foxes. Here is a single Fox. They were playing like puppies.

Have a happy day all!


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Monday Mourning......Sunshine [Re: gymcandy1] #972590
08/10/14 09:06 PM
08/10/14 09:06 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,661
Alabama
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
soot  Offline
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,661
Alabama
Totally cool Ana ... that is so cool!

wave


Dan
...
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music Stay Smart & Stay Safe
Re: Monday Mourning......Sunshine [Re: gymcandy1] #972591
08/10/14 09:17 PM
08/10/14 09:17 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
THanks soot, it's been quite awhile since I saw one and these were just too cute!

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Monday Mourning......Sunshine [Re: BrownEyedTigre] #972592
08/10/14 09:19 PM
08/10/14 09:19 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Nice shots Ana. thumbsup

Have a great week Boomers. happydance


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Monday Mourning......Sunshine [Re: gymcandy1] #972604
08/10/14 11:27 PM
08/10/14 11:27 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
THanks SpaceQ! Happy Monday to you!


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Monday Mourning......Sunshine [Re: gymcandy1] #972620
08/11/14 03:07 AM
08/11/14 03:07 AM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Haroula Offline
Adept Boomer
Haroula  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Good morning Boomers. wave
Have all a great Monday.
Ana thumbsup smile summer


I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".

Re: Monday Mourning......Sunshine [Re: gymcandy1] #972629
08/11/14 05:04 AM
08/11/14 05:04 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe, Ana, soot, SpaceQ, and Haroula. Joe did you find any arrow heads? Ana fantastic picture! Soot, SpaceQ and Haroula enjoy your day. Coffee and hot homemade doughnuts for everyone. Relax and have a great day. wave


Gerry
Re: Monday Mourning......Sunshine [Re: gymcandy1] #972638
08/11/14 07:02 AM
08/11/14 07:02 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. Ana, they are so cute. To all here and all who follow, have a Super start to the new week. Danish, Bacon Sandwiches, and muffins in the NC. summer


Connie
Re: Monday Mourning......Sunshine [Re: gymcandy1] #972639
08/11/14 07:05 AM
08/11/14 07:05 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers summer

Joe, wishing you a great day!

Ana, great pics. Cute little things aren't they? Looks like a great place to ride.

Soot, good morning.

Space, have a good one.

Haroula, happy day wishes.

Gerry, thanks for the coffee.

School shopping with the girls today. Can't believe how fast the summer is going by. lab


Gail
Re: Monday Mourning......Sunshine [Re: GBC] #972671
08/11/14 09:54 AM
08/11/14 09:54 AM
Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
Darlene Offline
Adept Boomer
Darlene  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers and hope your early day goes smoothly!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!


Woohoo and booyah! smile Have an easy peasy day!
Re: Monday Mourning......Sunshine [Re: gymcandy1] #972693
08/11/14 11:17 AM
08/11/14 11:17 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist
Sorta Blonde  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Cloudy but nice out. Going to lunch with my teacher friends later. Gotta go deal with tenants who had the big party and still have guests and ask them when they are taking down the 2 huge canopies they set up on the asphalt parking area. It's a no-no but I let them since I wasn't home when they went up and it was futile to try to complain while the priest was there. Ohhhh.

They tried a few years back to put up some 'shade' for their cars or to erect an actual garage structure but I cannot allow anything to be built or stay on the parking areas since it's 'common' territory for all. Hope they take them down today or tomorrow, I will have to put on my Landlord Hat and deal with it. Sigh. They are probably hoping I won't notice and just keep parking under them. I noticed.

More action at the empty house. See Sorta's Neighborhood for a short update.


WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.
Re: Monday Mourning......Sunshine [Re: gymcandy1] #972694
08/11/14 11:18 AM
08/11/14 11:18 AM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Magnificent Monday Ya'll, Hubby and I popped up bright and early. Out we went to walk the doggis. it was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo humid...like 95% humid...felt like walking in a sauna.

Then home to play a little casual game, and now time to get busy with real life. wave


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Monday Mourning......Sunshine [Re: gymcandy1] #972700
08/11/14 11:25 AM
08/11/14 11:25 AM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer
auntiegram  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
Have to run but wanted to wish everybody a wonderfully lovely day!!!

Nice pics Ana thanks for sharing!

Have a lovely day everybody!!

wave
Nan

Re: Monday Mourning......Sunshine [Re: auntiegram] #972735
08/11/14 04:06 PM
08/11/14 04:06 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good afternoon everyone. Rain here today. cry


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Monday Mourning......Sunshine [Re: gymcandy1] #972738
08/11/14 04:38 PM
08/11/14 04:38 PM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist
Sorta Blonde  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Came home from a nice lunch and loads of laughs and the canopies are gone. Hooray! No Landlord stuff today. I'm taking a break.


WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.
Re: Monday Mourning......Sunshine [Re: gymcandy1] #972762
08/11/14 07:05 PM
08/11/14 07:05 PM
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,402
Lexington, Texas
Yankee Clipper Offline
Addicted Boomer
Yankee Clipper  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,402
Lexington, Texas
Wottawottawotta day. Groceries mostly dry fancy feast cat food because I forgot it last week. Those cats now have enough food to last through all of the hurricane season and some left over and that's security. The new Walmart has a variety of canned f'feast which they like. And that's good. Then to pamper myself I bought those Pepperidge double chocolate Nantucket cookies. There are only 8 to a bag and I devoured 4 of them on the trip home and now only 4 left. But they are good. Then I slept for 2 hours -most unusual.

Thunder showers now.

Good for you Sorta, enjoy the break and some double chocolate cookies to you.

Happy Monday, what's left of it


I wish I were a cat and belonged to me ~ My Aunt Helen Mary Rose
Re: Monday Mourning......Sunshine [Re: gymcandy1] #972808
08/12/14 12:07 AM
08/12/14 12:07 AM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer
auntiegram  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
Night everybody sleep well and pleasant dreams!!

sleep
Nan

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