A man travels the world over in search of what he needs and returns home to find it.
George Moore
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Jerry has been seeing a psychoanalyst for 4 years for the fear that he had green monsters under his bed. Been years since he had a good night's sleep. Furthermore, his progress was not very good, and he knew it. So, he stopped seeing the Psychoanalyst and decides to try something different. A few weeks later, Jerry's former Psychoanalyst runs into Jerry, his old client in the Supermarket, and is surprised to find him looking well-rested, energetic, and cheerful. Jerry says, "It's amazing! I'm t cured!" "That's great news!" the Psychoanalyst says. "you seem to be doing much better. How?" "Went and saw another doctor," Jerry says enthusiastically, "and he cured me in just ONE session!" "One?!" the psychoanalyst asks incredible. "Yeah,' continues Jerry, "my new doctor is a behaviorist." "A behaviorist?" the Psychoanalyst asks. "How did he cure you in one session?" "Oh, easy," says Joe. "He told me to cut the legs off of my bed."

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A gentleman has 50 yard line Super Bowl tickets. When he sat down, he noticed that the seat next to him was empty. He asked the man on the other side of the empty seat whether anyone was sitting there. "No, it is empty. " "That is incredible, who in their right mind would have a seat for the biggest sporting event in the world and not use it?" The second man replied, "Well, the seat belongs to me actually. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Super Bowl we have not been together since we got married in 1967. " "Oh, I am sorry, that is terrible. But could you not find someone else. A friend, relative, or a neighbour to take the seat?" The man shook his head. "No, They are all at the funeral."
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New Yorker was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place any where. Desperate, Looks up to the heavens he said, "Lord, take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Church every Sunday for the rest of my life. Miraculously, a parking place appeared. New Yorker looked up again and said, "Never mind, oh Lord. I found one."
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US Soldier was given the job of hunting for buffalo meat. Needing help, he hired an Indian Scout. The two of them rode off on their journey to find buffalo. After riding a while, the Indian gets off his horse, puts his ear to the ground and says "Humm, buffalo come". Carefully, the soldier scans the horizon with his binoculars, but sees nothing. Confused he says to the Indian, "I do not see anything, how do you know buffalo come?" Indian replies, "Ear sticky".
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Mr. Wilson, was a very successful lawyer at getting charges dropped, but in this particular case he decided to bribe a man on his client's jury to hold out for a reduced charge of manslaughter, as opposed to The States charge of first degree murder. The jury was out for five days before they finally returned with a manslaughter verdict. When Mr. Wilson paid the corrupt juror, he questioned if he had a very difficult time to convince the other jurors to see the evidence his way. Sure did, the juror replies, "The other eleven jurors wanted to acquit."
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A well respected local surgeon was relaxing on his sofa one evening just after arriving home from work. As he was watching the evening news, the phone rang. The doctor answered it and heard a fellow doctor colleague on the other end. "We need a fourth for our poker game tonight" said the friend. "Very well. I'll be right over," whispered the doctor. As he was putting on his coat, his wife asked, "Is it serious?" "Oh yes, quite serious," said the doctor gravely. "In fact, three doctors are there already!"
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While on a road trip, an elderly couple , stopped at a roadside restaurant for quick lunch. After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant, and resumed their trip. When leaving, the elderly woman set her eye glasses down and left them on the table. She didn't miss them until they had been driving for about forty minutes. Elderly Lady screams out "We got to go back, I left my glasses at the restaurant!" By then, to add to the aggravation, they had to travel quite a distance before they could find a turn around spot, in order to return to the restaurant to retrieve her glasses. All the way back, the elderly husband became more the classic grouchy old man. He fussed and complained, and scolded his wife relentlessly during the entire return drive. The more he chided her, the more agitated he became. He just wouldn't let up for a single minute. To her relief, they finally arrived at the restaurant. As the woman got out of the car, and hurried inside to retrieve her glasses, the old geezer yelled to her "While you're in there, you might as well get my hat and the credit card."
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Doctor told Mrs. Stone to give her husband one pill a day and one drink of whiskey which would improve his stamina. A month later, when Mrs. Stone came in for a follow up visit, the doctor asked "How are we doing with the pills and the whiskey?" Well Mrs. Stone answered "He's a little behind with the pills, but he is about SIX months ahead with the whiskey."
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An elderly woman is being examined by a young intern doctor. After about four minutes in, she bursts out of the examination room, arms flailing, and yelling. Spotting an older resident doctor, she tells him what happened. The doctor angryly marches down the hallway toward his younger colleague. "What in the world is the matter with you?" he asks. "That woman is 68 years old. Why would you tell her she's pregnant?" "Does she still have the hiccups?" asks the young doctor.
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"The Ruling Party" government ... had a vast scrap yard in the middle of the desert. "The Ruling Party" was concerned that "Thieves may steal from it at night." So they created a night watchman position and hired a person for the job. Then "The Ruling Party" said "How does the watchman do his job properly without instructions?" So they created a planning department and hired two people, one person to write the instructions, and one person to do the time studies. Then "The Ruling Party" said "How will we know the night watchman is doing his tasks correctly?" Well, they created and hired two people for the Quality Control Department. One to do the studies and one to write the reports. Then "The Ruling Party" said "How are these people going to get paid?" So the next step was to create the following positions, a time keeper, and a payroll officer, then hired two people. Then "The Ruling Party" said "Who will be accountable for all of these people?" Obviously, they created an administrative section and hired three people, an Administrative Officer, Assistant Administrative Officer, and a Legal Secretary. Then "The Ruling Party" was concerned that "Although we have had this operation only for one year, we are $24,000 over budget already, so we must cut back overall costs fast." So they laid off the night watchman.
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Good morning everyboomie.

Welcome to a new week and a nuther Monday.

This is also the start of a couple of early days for me, so I'll be getting up a 3:30...ish.

I'm going to get this post up, and then retire to my bedroom, for peace and quiet to do some researching before bed.

I hope it's a memorable Monday for each of you.

Have a happy day.


joe

Thanks for the laughs Joe.

Good morning boomers. Hope everyone has a magnificent Monday

Morning all! Arrgh, 3:00am and I'm still awake gaming. Well, I guess that's what Labor Day is all about...

Think I'll hold off on a cup of coffee and big breakfast until I get a little nap in.

Good Morning Joe, SpaceQ, manxman, ans Trail_Mystic. Coffee is ready when you are. Wishing everyone a Happy Day!

Good morning everyone. May all here and all who follow have a Wonderful Labor Day. Time to get ready for the cook out shortly. Danish, BB Pancakes, and Bacon Sandwiches in the NC.

Good Morning Boomers

Joe, sorry you have to get up in the middle of the night.

Space, have a good day.

Manxmzn, a wonderful Monday to you also.

Trail, hope you get in some sleep in between gaming.

Gerry, thanks for the coffee.

Connie, enjoy your cookout. I've been to one Saturday and Sunday.

Relaxing today. Wishing everyone a wonderful, happy Labor Day!

Good morning boomies! Another day in paradise,
My niece and daughter are coming over today so I look forward to that. I've been turning down company requests but decided to say yes this time.
Yesterday I took a nice 3 mile hike by myself, it felt great, I needed that!

Have a happy day!

Good morning y'all.

Cloudy day, gonna rain today and tonight. Hope it doesn't miss us this time.

Really been doing some looking for corgi puppies. We are going over next Saturday to visit a corgi breeder who is going to have her girl bred soon. Then if we decide to go with her, it will be next year before we can get one. She also has a 2 year old female corgi she wants to sell. Not sure we want an older one but we will look at her. The breeder lives within a few miles of us. Convenient.

I don't have any plans for the day. Vince invited us over for Tuesday dinner. I think I will just relax and maybe play.

Have a great day.

Bets

Hi, everyone. Just a quick stop in today. I had a kitty crisis last night. Venus's urinary tract disorder was acting up, so we had an emergency trip to the vet. We found a local vet who took emergency calls. I actually really liked him, and I'm considering taking my cats to that vet on a regular basis. Apparently, Venus just had some inflammation which made her think she kept having to go. He gave her a shot and some medicine that she'll have to take for the next three days, but it isn't nearly as bad as it was the last time she had an episode. Which is a good thing.

And she just climbed in my lap, which is my cue to go. Hope everyone is having a great Monday.

Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Sorry for the early morning, but hope the rest of your day goes smoothly!

Ana, sounds like your shoulder is healing well! Glad to hear you were able to get out for a hike!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Happy Labor Day!

Been a relaxing weekend, and plan an easy peasy day today.

Off to see what's afoot!

Joe hope work flies and goes well. Thanks for the chuckles and have a lovely day!

Space have a lovely day!

Manxman have a lovely day!

Trail an all nighter gaming, Enjoy! Have a lovely day!

Gerry thanks for the coffee and have a lovely day!

Connie HUGS!!!! Enjoy the BBQ!! Thanks for the goodies and have a lovely day!

Gail enjoy a nice relaxing day! Have a lovely day!

Ana great that you feel up to getting out and hiking some!! Be careful though but I'm sure you know that. Enjoy the company and have a lovely day!

Bets Good luck with the Corgi hunting. Two isn't that old ya know and I'm sure you would give it a nice home!! Have a lovely day!

venus hope kitty will be OK now. HUGS! Have a lovely day!

Darlene enjoy a nice relaxing day! Have a lovely day!


Nan

Magnificent Monday and Happy Labor Day

Son and boys got home 5ish last night followed soon after by his SO and her 2 boys. They were all going to a ball game this morning and thought it would be easier if they were all in one house

Anyway, waited til they all left to feed the monkeys and then took advantage of the quiet to do some studying. Now it's time to sit and surf a bit before they get back.

Hubby will Skype soon...so I will find out how his first day went

Where is hubby L4L?

Aha! Penelope the Peacock showed up yesterday afternoon and ate a few grapes, hunkered in her favorite spot on the roof, terrorized a few feral cats and then went home before dark. She's getting bigger every day. She seems to want bugs to eat. I watered a few plants and she immediately flew down and started her hunt. I'd buy some meal worms, but I'm afraid I'd start a trend I couldn't stop.

Just found out the total story after almost 12 years that my sister and I were each secretly blaming the other for 'stealing' things from my Mom's 'estate' just before the big sale. SHE thought I took all the large furniture and computer and cameras and tools, etc. I thought SHE took some little things, but had no idea that ALL the large items of furniture, sofa, loveseat, 3 tables, lamps, a huge dining table with 6 chairs, TWO full solid pine bedroom sets, all Dad's tools, etc. were GONE when she came down to start the sale!

Someone took all the stuff in the week I wasn't there and when she arrived to do the cleanout. She said the cupboards were practically bare when there was china, flatware, crystal, tablecloths, linens, and a load of books and records and other stuff gathered over a million years.

Now it makes sense why my grand nephew called and yelled at me for 'taking Grandpa's tools which were promised to me'! He was angry, I didn't take them and I couldn't figure out why he was accusing me. I did take one little wrench and 5 sockets that Dad and I used to work on my projects with because my Mom insisted. She wanted to give me china sets and all sorts of things but I already had a full house and figured they would bring much needed money for her care. Ohhhhh.

Now it all makes sense. Someone took so much stuff. I'm blaming the neighbor who had a key and was a shifty guy. He was always there when I went over. He visited her daily in the nursing home and was the one who convinced her (against my wishes) to move into a senior living facility at 2500 bucks a month. Really depleted Mom's savings. My sister is blaming the Realtor, also shifty. Maybe it was both of them. Got the whole story now about what was and wasn't there after I last saw it.

The nerve of some people! Not broken into, just missing all the large items and electronics and good 'tableware'. Geez. Makes me so mad, but now I feel better that it wasn't my sister who was trying to get things for herself. She blamed me, I blamed her, now it's a joint blame someone else. Feels good after all this time. Nothing we can do. Everyone has moved or died that would know anything about who did it. I'm pretty sure it was the neighbor who purported to be a rich, big wig, with land holdings, and houses in other states, etc. I really thought he was just a con artist. Wish I'd been in a better frame of mind to actually see how far he went to insert himself into my Mom's life. I knew a little, but not the total extent!

What a day. OH and I did 'labor' on Labor Day. Took the time to clean my 1950's stove, wash the kitty beds, fight ants in the washer, and did a few other little chores that really needed doing that I was putting off. Now I can rest. I just had to get my anger out after the 'thefts' were totally explained. Still fuming but doing better.

sorta, that's awful but it's 12 years ago and if jerk-face sold the things he's already spent the money probably on nothings. But now you and sister can relax the truth is out and it turned out well. I never understood how some can use, touch things that they stole or just have them around their house. Anyway it's over -what about your grand nephew, he should know. If the thief is still living, put the Evil Eye on him.
ie
Happier things. Mucho thanks for Princess Penelope update. Glad she's filling out well -that's what good eaten' does for ya

Son and granddaughter came over to shot grasshoppers and do a bit of target practice so I made an emergency run to Elgin for some BBQ and a good time was had by all.

Got another one of those calls at around 7 this AM -the one about the cmptr- and I asked her to come over because I have a surprise for her and she asked what the surprise was and I said to just come over and find out. Now whose playing with who.

Hey, 'Boomies!

Been lazin' the day away, gaming....lovely.

I think it may be time for a glass of red.....

Bets, Soot is in the Uk on his annual trip.

Sorta, glad you guys know the truth at last

Checking in to say good night after sippping a glass of white(sorry Darlene)my favorite is white. Calling it a night now. Early shift again in the AM. Have a good night. Ana I hope you are going better

Midgie

Good night, everyone.

Night all sleep well and pleasant!


Nan