GAMEBOOMERS provides you with all the latest PC adventure computer games information, forum, walkthroughs, reviews and news.

GB Reviews

Latest & Upcoming Adventure Games

GB Annual Game Lists

GB Interviews

BAAGS

GB @ acebook

About Us

Walkthroughs

free games galore

Game Publishers & Developers

World of Adventure

Patches

GB @ witter

GameBoomers Store

Print Thread
Tuesday's #976197
09/01/14 07:39 PM
09/01/14 07:39 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners.
E. Joseph Cossman
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Praise the lord!!:

Every morning a devoted religious woman, would open her front door and scream, "Praise the Lord". This annoyed her atheist neighbor who would counter back "There is no Lord". One day the atheist neighbor over heard his religious neighbor praying for food. Thinking it would be funny, he bought her all sorts of groceries and then left them on her porch. Of course, the next morning the religious lady opens her door and screamed, "Praise the Lord". Noticing the groceries, she says "Who gave me this bounty of food". The laughing neighbor could barely get the words out screamed "It wasn't the Lord, it was me". Without missing a beat she screamed "Praise the Lord! For giving me this bounty of food and making the atheist pay for it".
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After many years of marriage, a husband has turned into a couch potato, became completely inattentive to his wife and sat guzzling beer and watching TV all day. The wife was dismayed because no matter what she did to attract the husband's attention, he'd just shrug her off with some bored comment. This went on for many months and the wife was going crazy with boredom. Then one day at a pet store, the wife saw this big, ugly, snorting bird with a hairy chest, powerful hairy forearms, beady eyes and dribble running down the side of its mouth. The shopkeeper, observing her fascination with the bird, told her it was a special imported "Goony bird" and it had a very peculiar trait. To demonstrate, he exclaimed, "Goony bird! The table!" Immediately, the Goony bird flew off its perch and with single-minded fury attacked the table and smashed it into a hundred little pieces with its powerful forearms and claws! To demonstrate some more, the shopkeeper said, "Goony bird! The shelf!" Again the Goony bird turned to the shelf and demolished it in seconds. "Wow!" said the wife, "If this doesn't attract my husband's attention, nothing will!" So she bought the bird and took it home. When she entered the house, the husband was, as usual, sprawled on the sofa guzzling beer and watching the game. "Honey!" she exclaimed, "I've got a surprise for you! A Goony bird!" The husband, in his usual bored tone replied, "Goony Bird, my foot!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There were these two cows, chatting over the fence between their fields. The first cow said, "I tell you, this mad-cow-disease is really pretty scary. They say it is spreading fast; I heard it hit some cows down on the Johnson Farm." The other cow replies, "I ain't worried, it don't affect us ducks."
~~~~~~~~~

There was once a man from the city who was visiting a small farm, and during this visit he saw a farmer feeding pigs in a most extraordinary manner. The farmer would lift a pig up to a nearby apple tree, and the pig would eat the apples off the tree directly. The farmer would move the pig from one apple to another until the pig was satisfied, then he would start again with another pig. The city man watched this activity for some time with great astonishment. Finally, he could not resist saying to the farmer, "This is the most inefficient method of feeding pigs that I can imagine. Just think of the time that would be saved if you simply shook the apples off the tree and let the pigs eat them from the ground!" The farmer looked puzzled and replied, "What's time to a pig?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A man walks into a bar one day and asks, "Does anyone here own that rottweiler outside?" "Yeah, I do!" a biker says, standing up. "What about it?" "Well, I think my chihuahua just killed him..." "What are you talkin' about?!" the biker says, disbelievingly. "How could your little runt kill my rottweiler?" "Well, it seems he got stuck in your dog's throat!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A customer was bothering the waiter in a restaurant. First, he asked that the air conditioning be turned up because he was too hot, then he asked it be turned down cause he was too cold, and so on for about half an hour. Surprisingly, the waiter was very patient, he walked back and forth and never once got angry. So finally, a second customer asked him why he didn't throw out the pest. "Oh, I really don't care or mind," said the waiter with a smile. "We don't even have an air conditioner."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When the waitress in a New York City restaurant brought him the soup du jour, the Englishman was a bit dismayed. "Good heavens," he said, "what is this?" "Why, it's bean soup," she replied. "I don't care what it has been," he sputtered. "What is it now?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Pope met with the College of Cardinals to discuss a proposal from Shimon Peres, the former leader of Israel. "Your holiness," said one of the Cardinals, "Mr. Peres wants to determine whether Jews or Catholics are superior, by challenging you to a golf match." The Pope was greatly disturbed, as he had never held a golf club in his life. "Not to worry," said the Cardinal, "we'll call America and talk to Jack Nicklaus. We'll make him a Cardinal, he can play Shimon Peres... We can't lose!" Everyone agreed it was a good idea. The call was made and, of course, Jack was honored and agreed to play. The day after the match, Nicklaus reported to the Vatican to inform the Pope of his success in the match. "I came in second, your Holiness," said Nicklaus. "Second?!!" exclaimed the surprised Pope. "You came in second to Shimon Peres?!!" "No," said Nicklaus, "second to Rabbi Woods."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Fred got home from his Sunday round of golf later than normal and very tired. "Bad day at the course?" his wife asked. "Everything was going fine," he said. "Then Harry had a heart attack and died on the 10th tee." "Oh, that's awful!" "You're not kidding. For the whole back nine it was hit the ball, drag Harry, hit the ball, drag Harry."
~~~~~~~~~~~

Sandy began a job as an elementary school counselor and she was eager to help. One day during recess she noticed a girl standing by herself on one side of a playing field while the rest of the kids enjoyed a game of soccer at the other. Sandy approached and asked if she was all right. The girl said she was. A little while later, however, Sandy noticed the girl was in the same spot, still by herself. Approaching again, Sandy offered, "Would you like me to be your friend?" The girl hesitated, then said, "Okay," looking at the woman suspiciously. Feeling she was making progress, Sandy then asked, "Why are you standing here all alone?" "Because," the little girl said with great exasperation, "I'm the goalie!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

At a friend's wedding, everything went smoothly until it was time for the flower girl and her young escort to come down the aisle. The boy stopped at every pew, growling at the guests. When asked afterward why he behaved so badly, he explained, "I was just trying to be a good ring bear."
~~~~~~~~~~~~

Man calls home. Maid answers phone. He says, "Can I speak to my wife?" She says, "No, she's upstairs in bed with her boyfriend" his maid says. "Ok, go to the hall closet and take out my shotgun. Go upstairs and kill them both." Being the loyal maid, she says, "Ok". Five minutes later she picks up the phone and says, "Ok, they're both dead. What should I do with the bodies?" He says, "Put them in the pool house, and I'll take care of them when I get home." She says, "What? We don't have a pool." He says, "Umm....I'm sorry wrong number g'by!?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jim saw his friend John one day and ask, "Hey John, have you heard any good lawyer jokes lately?"
John says, "Yes! I know a good lawyer."

Think about it.... wink
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie. welcome


HAPPY HALLOWEEN!! yay


Well it's only 2 months away. woot


In retail that's like, next week. snicker


It can't get here soon enough for me for several reasons. happydance


It's my favorite holiday event, though it's technically not a holiday, although it should be, to honor all the ghost that live in this great country.


MAG WHERE"S MY GHOST SMILEY??? mad


Just kidding ya there MaG. kissy


Secondly......I love, adore candy. razz


And C, I think by then it absolutely HAS to cool down by at least 10 or 15 degrees outside. penguin


My buddy and I went down to our creek after I got off of work today. We needed machetes to hack our way down there. Our legs were covered with stickers. They were so thick, we were doing some pretty high stepping to try and avoid them. After only about 30 minutes down there, if that long, we were soaked, as though we had been standing out in pouring rain.


I am sooooo sick of this sweltering heat!!


Now it's time for this old man to shut 'er down, and get ready for bed as I have another early early start tomorrow.


Have a happy day everyone.



joe






Last edited by gymcandy1; 09/01/14 07:48 PM.

There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #976206
09/01/14 08:36 PM
09/01/14 08:36 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,238
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,238
In the Naughty Corner
Good morning Joe and thanks for starting the day for us! I'll be getting in my 3 mile walk sometime through the day tomorrow and other than that i will find a way to stay busy.

Have a great day all!

Ana


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #976210
09/01/14 08:45 PM
09/01/14 08:45 PM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist
Sorta Blonde  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Ummmm Joe? Happy Halloween already? Ya almost got me there. Thought I was on the wrong page. Ha. Very funny. Better get out my costume and be ready. zombie


WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #976226
09/01/14 10:57 PM
09/01/14 10:57 PM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Happy Halloween, Joe. lol Hope it cools down for you soon!

Have a great walk tomorrow, Ana. Hope you're feeling better!

Sorta, at least you'll be prepared well in advance. lol Hope you have a great day.

It's late Monday night for me, the last of my three day weekend. As these things tend to go, it ended up being more stressful than relaxing. rolleyes Oh, well, work in the morning. I'll be driving far away to a training store, hopefully the first and last time I'll have to go that far. I also have a really early morning, so I am off to sleep now. wave

Have a great Tuesday, everyone. summer


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #976246
09/02/14 05:14 AM
09/02/14 05:14 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,099
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,099
Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe, Ana, Sorta and venus. Joe hope it cools down soon! Ana are you really up to a 3 mile walk already? Sorta enjoy your day. Coffee is ready. Happy day All! wave


Gerry
Re: Tuesday's [Re: Kaki's Sister] #976248
09/02/14 05:30 AM
09/02/14 05:30 AM
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 2,264
Greece
Volkana Offline
Addicted Boomer
Volkana  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 2,264
Greece
Good Morning everyone!!! Have a great day all of you!

kissy kissy


Fear can hold you prisoner. Hope can set you free.
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #976252
09/02/14 05:43 AM
09/02/14 05:43 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,099
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,099
Marlborough USA
Good Morning to you too Volkana! wave


Gerry
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #976267
09/02/14 07:38 AM
09/02/14 07:38 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,014
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,014
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. The cookout/pool party was a great success. A fun time was had by all. To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful Tuesday. Joe, I can't wait for cooler temps, and to decorate for Halloween. Danish, Waffles, and French Toast in the NC. summer


Connie
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #976272
09/02/14 08:17 AM
09/02/14 08:17 AM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,238
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,238
In the Naughty Corner
Gerry, I have already walked my regular 5k running route twice since surgery. I can't do much but walking is exercise I can do. smile
Hubby and I have been taking the dogs to the river to swim too so I get in an extra mile there.

Have a wonderful day all!

Ana


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Tuesday's [Re: BrownEyedTigre] #976290
09/02/14 09:59 AM
09/02/14 09:59 AM
Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
Darlene Offline
Adept Boomer
Darlene  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers and hope your Halloween Tuesday is terrific! smile

Hey, Ana! Glad to hear you are getting in your walks. hearts

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Back to work...

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!


Woohoo and booyah! smile Have an easy peasy day!
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #976298
09/02/14 10:36 AM
09/02/14 10:36 AM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer
auntiegram  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
Joe it will cool off sooner then you think. It was a cool 55 here this morning. Thanks for the chuckles and have a lovely day!

Ana glad you are able to at least get out and do some walking! Sounds like you are doing good! Hope the pain is all under control and everything is healing well. HUGS! Have a lovely day!

Sorta it will be here before you know it. lol Have a lovely day!

venus good luck with the training!! Have a lovely day!

Gerry thanks for the coffee and have a lovely day!

Volkana have a lovely day!

Connie glad that all went well and that all had a good time at the BBQ!! Thanks for the danish and have a lovely day!

Darlene may work fly and all go smoothly!! A short week though! Have a lovely day!

wave
Nan

Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #976316
09/02/14 12:04 PM
09/02/14 12:04 PM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 28,972
Unionville
manxman Offline
Sonic Boomer
manxman  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 28,972
Unionville
Good day boomers. wave Hope everyone is having a terrific Tuesday smile


Sometimes lost is where you need to be. Just because you don't know your direction doesn't mean you don't have one.
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #976360
09/02/14 02:53 PM
09/02/14 02:53 PM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,099
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,099
Marlborough USA
Hi Connie, Darlene and Nan. Connie what a fun time! Darlene don't work to hard. Nan send some of those cool temperatures my way! Ana You are an amazing woman! That is fantastic that you have already walked your 5k running route twice! Just be careful you don't over do. Wishing you all a great afternoon! wave wave


Gerry
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #976383
09/02/14 04:25 PM
09/02/14 04:25 PM
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,402
Lexington, Texas
Yankee Clipper Offline
Addicted Boomer
Yankee Clipper  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,402
Lexington, Texas
Today I am thoroughly exhausted -too much fun yesterday. so this is my post.


I wish I were a cat and belonged to me ~ My Aunt Helen Mary Rose
Re: Tuesday's [Re: Yankee Clipper] #976386
09/02/14 05:08 PM
09/02/14 05:08 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good afternoon Boomers. wave


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #976407
09/02/14 09:08 PM
09/02/14 09:08 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Eeeeks, just found the post I thought I posted earlier. Hubby looked a bit perkier when we skyped. Hope all had a great day wave


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #976419
09/02/14 11:17 PM
09/02/14 11:17 PM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Good night, everyone. sleep


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Previous Thread
Index
Next Thread

Moderated by  BrownEyedTigre 

Who's Online Now
0 registered members (), 215 guests, and 0 spiders.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Staff, Mod
Newest Members
PierreLombardo, Dux, WillPowerGoat, Ebalon, J7769mon
9388 Registered Users
Powered by UBB.threads™