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Joe's Weird Tuesday Diner #977444
09/08/14 08:28 PM
09/08/14 08:28 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
Any sufficiently advanced bureaucracy is indistinguishable from molasses.
Unknown
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Troy Hogan, at the advance age of 72, got married and the marriage was the talk of the town. More so, because his bride was only 26. They checked into a beach resort in Maldives for their honeymoon and the resort was abuzz with gossip.

Next morning, Troy walks into the resort's dining area looking ever so fresh. He ordered a big breakfast and joked with everyone. When his young bride walked into the dining hall after some time, she looked pale and tired. She ordered some tea and that's all she had. She hardly spoke to anyone.

Old Troy left the dining room, and the waitress, not wanting to miss the opportunity asked her, "The old man looks so refreshed while you look so fatigued. Is everything all right?"

The young girl said, "This man took me for a ride. Before our wedding, he told me he had saved up for 40 years. You can't blame me for thinking it was money he meant,"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dean was up in an air balloon and soon lost his bearings. He had no idea where he was and what direction he should take. He looked down and saw a vast field. Dean reduced altitude of the balloon and saw a man watering plants. He shouted to the man: “Hi there.”

The man reciprocated: “Hi.”

Dean: “Pardon me, I have lost my way, don’t know where I am. I promised my girl I would meet her an hour ago and I don’t know which way to go. Can you guide me?”

The man: “You are twenty five feet from the ground hanging in a balloon. You are forty five degrees latitude or thereabouts and sixty degrees longitude.

Dean said: “You are an accountant.”

The man: “So I am. How did you guess?”

Dean: “Whatever you told me may be correct. But I have no notion what to make of it. The information you gave me is of no use. I am where I was, confused and lost.”

The man: “You are in management.”

Dean: “Sure. What made you say so?”

The man: “See you don’t know where you are or where to go. You promised your girl friend and you have no idea how to keep it. You expect people working under you to find solutions to your problems or else you blame them. In our case you are in the same position before you saw me but you have made it seem like my fault.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dan died and Marie’s heart was broken. She could not be consoled. The regular pastor was not available and so they found one from the neighboring area. The new one asked Marie some questions so that he could say something nice about Dan in his sermon. Finally he asked: “What did Dan say just before he died? I mean, what were his last words?”

Marie was thoughtful, then said: “Marie, don’t pull the trigger.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dean and Martin hired a small plane to get into deep forest to hunt deer. They spent the whole afternoon and killed four big deer. They then called for the pilot to pick them up. When the plane came, they started to load their rifles and other equipments along with the four hunts. At this, the pilot objected saying the plane could take load of only two kills.

Dean argued that the previous year too their pilot had allowed four kills and it was the same model plane. The pilot gave in reluctantly against his better judgment.

They boarded the plane with their load. But after gaining height the plane crashed a little distance away. Getting out of the plane, Dean asked: “Mart, any idea where we are?”

Martin looked around and said: “Ummh.... I think we are a little south to where we crashed last year.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Farmer Joe's latest addition to his farm was a young cow. The moment the cow entered the farm gate, Joe's big bull spotted her and started stomping it's feet. It became aggressive and started kicking and jumping.

Farmer Joe feared the bull would knock her up. He wanted the cow to feel at home first before letting her out with the bull. So he consulted the local vet who advised Joe to tie a big curtain around the cow's rump to keep the bull away.

Joe did just that and went to sleep. The next morning, he went to check on the cow but she was nowhere to be seen. Joe followed the trail of her steps to a distance and noticed a young boy sitting near a pond. Farmer Joe asked the young boy if he had seen a cow with a curtain tied around her rump.

The young lad replied, "Don't know that, sir, but I saw one run by with a handkerchief sticking out of her behind!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Sunday church was full, and everyone was singing spiritual songs. The rhythm was building up into a frenzy. A pretty young woman, leaning ahead in the balcony, lost her balance in her enthusiasm and fell over the railing.

As she was falling, the hem of her dress got caught in the chandelier. Though it arrested her fall, her dress was pulled over her waist for a nice view available to everyone below.

The preacher shouted, "Any man who looks up shall turn blind!"

Old man Jason whispered into his friend's ears, "I think I will take that chance. My right eye isn't worth much anyway!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My father was out for his morning jog, when he noticed an old white-haired woman seated on a bench and crying uncontrollably. My father stopped to check what was wrong and if he could do anything to help her.

Still sobbing, she said to Dad, "I have a husband at home who I am married to since the last 48 years. He makes love to me in the morning. For breakfast, he makes poached eggs, toast, grilled tomatoes, fried mushrooms and fresh coffee for me very morning."

My father asked, "So why are you weeping?"

The white-haired woman said, "For lunch, he prepares broccoli soup, salad, steak and pie. Then he gives pleasure to me in bed all afternoon."

My father, now thoroughly confused, asked, "So why is it that you are upset?"

The old woman went on, "He makes roasted beef for dinner, serves it to me with wine and dessert. Then he makes me feel like a woman for 2 hours in the night."


My father, impatient by now, asked again, "So why the tears?"

The old woman answered, "I can't recollect where I live!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cyndy had just delivered a baby and was adjusting to the life of a woman who had recently become a mother.

One night, after she and her husband Peter had just put the baby to sleep, she found Peter stand near the baby's cradle looking at the child. Cyndy was standing at the door, observed Peter's face looking down at the new born. His face was a mix of emotions - uncertainty, disbelief, pleasure, happiness, admiration.

Cyndy was deeply touched to see such a display of emotions on Peter's face. She went up to him and putting her arms around his shoulder, asked, "What are you thinking honey?"

Peter replied, "It's incredible, It is hard to believe someone sold this cradle to us for only $47!!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie. welcome


I wanted to finish my tour of Steve's Weird House, but Tuesday is a nuther early early day, and of course I running late again. razz


Sorta we were thinking alike. I told my sister I wouldn't want to have to dust that place. snicker


Very cool Ana, thanks. wink


Man I am so tired, and ready for bed I believe I may already be asleep. sleep


Happy dreams everybody, and have a happy day too. yes



joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Joe's Weird Tuesday Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #977451
09/08/14 09:03 PM
09/08/14 09:03 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Online content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Online Content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
It's an awesome house isn't it Joe? I have a doctors appointment today hopefully maybe I can take off part of my sling.

I hope you all have a very happy day.

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Joe's Weird Tuesday Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #977453
09/08/14 09:13 PM
09/08/14 09:13 PM
Joined: Dec 1999
Posts: 69,973
MaG Offline
Sonic Boomer
MaG  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Dec 1999
Posts: 69,973
Thanks, Joe.

luck Ana. I'll take part of your sling. Hehehehe.

Hello everyone! wave

Re: Joe's Weird Tuesday Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #977468
09/08/14 11:13 PM
09/08/14 11:13 PM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Sleep well, Joe, and hope work flies tomorrow.

Hope your appointment goes well tomorrow, Ana, and that you get part of your sling off. luck

Have a great Tuesday, MaG.

It's late Monday night for me. For those that asked, my training lasts through the end of this week. smile So hopefully, sometime this week I'll find out which store I'll ultimately end up in (and hopefully it will be the one I want yes). At that point I can choose my own hours, which means I'll probably go in earlier in the morning than the trainer has us arrive. Not that I'm a morning person at all but I like getting my work done early before customers start swarming in. Plus that way I'll have a good bit of my day left to practice singing, acting, etc. smile

Okay, time to go to sleep so I take another long drive in the morning. Have a great Tuesday, everyone. summer


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Joe's Weird Tuesday Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #977489
09/09/14 05:06 AM
09/09/14 05:06 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
wave Good Morning Joe, Ana, and venus. Joe hope you got lots of sleep to face an early day! Ana Good Luck! Venus hope you get the store you want! Coffee is ready Sue! Happy day All! wave


Gerry
Re: Joe's Weird Tuesday Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #977502
09/09/14 06:43 AM
09/09/14 06:43 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers

Joe, sweet dreams. sleep

Ana, good luck at the Doc's. luck

Venus, hope this week flies by for you and you get the store you want.

Gerry, thanks for the much needed coffee.

Sue, good morning when you come in.

Connie, hope your weather cooled off some for you. penguin

To all who enter I'm wishing a wonderful day. summer


Gail
Re: Joe's Weird Tuesday Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #977507
09/09/14 07:00 AM
09/09/14 07:00 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 29,026
Unionville
manxman Offline
Sonic Boomer
manxman  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 29,026
Unionville
Good morning boomers. Thanks for the laughs Joe. lol
Hope everyone as a terrific Tuesday smile


Sometimes lost is where you need to be. Just because you don't know your direction doesn't mean you don't have one.
Re: Joe's Weird Tuesday Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #977509
09/09/14 07:10 AM
09/09/14 07:10 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. Ana, good luck at the doctors. Gail, it's still hot, hot, hot here. It won't cool off here until mid or late Oct. The boys should be back later this week. They've been in New Jersey working for over 2 months. To all here and all who follow, have a Great Tuesday. Danish, Apple Turnovers, and Bacon and Eggs in the NC. summer


Connie
Re: Joe's Weird Tuesday Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #977515
09/09/14 07:47 AM
09/09/14 07:47 AM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Up early today. Son will be back soon from taking boys to school.

I feel like cleaning today so will strike while the iron is hot wave


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Joe's Weird Tuesday Diner [Re: looney4labs] #977537
09/09/14 09:53 AM
09/09/14 09:53 AM
Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
Darlene Offline
Adept Boomer
Darlene  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Hope your early day goes smoothly for you!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!


Woohoo and booyah! smile Have an easy peasy day!
Re: Joe's Weird Tuesday Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #977541
09/09/14 10:04 AM
09/09/14 10:04 AM
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 12,378
Scotland
MsMercury Offline
Adept Boomer
MsMercury  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 12,378
Scotland
Hello Boomers, hope you are all well!

Still on a break from cakes! It's been great spending quality time with hubby and seeing more of the family. Right now we're getting the house in order before we head off on Friday for a week away. We've had a great summer weatherwise and it's to continue for the foreseeable future. happydance

L4L, maybe we could share the cleaning fairy today!

To all here and all who stop by later, have a great day! hearts

Mary wave


"It's not what you have in your life
but who you have in your life that counts." puppy

I'm not getting old....just 'Marvelously Mature'! grin
Re: Joe's Weird Tuesday Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #977549
09/09/14 10:27 AM
09/09/14 10:27 AM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer
auntiegram  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
Weird Tuesday??? think It will be in the 70's today happydance and a high tomorrow of a whopping 49!!!!! eek Somebody is messing with the buttons.

Joe may work fly and go well. Thanks for the chuckles and have a lovely day!

Ana best of luck with the doc appointment and may you leave there with less then you arrive there with!!! Have a lovely day!

venus happy training!! Prayers that you will be given the store that you would like to have! Have a lovely day!

Hello MaG!! Have a lovely day!

Gerry thanks for the coffee and have a lovely day!

Gail hope it's nice for a walk today! Have a lovely day!

Manxman have a lovely day!

Connie any exercise classes?? It will be nice to have the boys home again. Maybe a little of our newly arriving coolness will reach your place sooner. Thanks for the goodies and have a lovely day!

L4l happy cleaning!! lol Have a lovely day!

Darlene may work fly and all go smoothly! Have a lovely day!

Mary ain't it nice not having to rush around and meet all those cake deadlines?? Have a lovely day and a wonderful holiday!!

Audit meeting this morning and then the day is mine to enjoy well it is still nice to enjoy!!

wave
Nan

Re: Joe's Weird Tuesday Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #977566
09/09/14 12:04 PM
09/09/14 12:04 PM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist
Sorta Blonde  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
It's another uncharacteristically hot day here. Yesterday it got in the mid 80's but the humidity went from 80% to 30% and now is back up to 69%. Have no idea what our fun weather has in store for today. Still no rain, probably won't get any and we need it sooo much. All my trees are screaming for water. I might actually have to do a soak on some of them.

No Penelope yet. She is still on a weird schedule. All Outdoorsies front and center early this morning. I think they wanted food before finding a cool place to sleep all day. Strange striped cat (not one of mine) who wanders the neighborhood seems to not bother my 2 female ferals. They were on the feeding table last night and he just came up and ate with them. Strange to see them accept another 'guy' into the fold. He's not neutered, and has been around for about a year I think. He tried to make friends when he was small, but it didn't work with the 2 on-site neutered males here. So he wanders in and eats after they do except for last night. Must have been hungry. Looks healthy and I've seen him in a wide area and across the street, etc. Must be a loner looking for a harem.

With the high temps, my cat (trash cans) and my big house can smell awful. Ugh! Had to wash both and now they stink again. No help until we get cooler temps. All the 'leftover' canned food scraps smell like dead animal. Yuk!


WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.
Re: Joe's Weird Tuesday Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #977618
09/09/14 03:43 PM
09/09/14 03:43 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Having a nice chat with hubby...gotta love technology!


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Joe's Weird Tuesday Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #977635
09/09/14 05:31 PM
09/09/14 05:31 PM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Thanks Gail and Nan! wave

Well, I'm finally home. lol It was a busy day today, and I'm not yet used to working only weekdays. I keep thinking it's later in the week than it actually is. lol At least tomorrow I'll be going to a closer store, and on Thursday it will be the closest one. I believe on Friday, I'll be going to the farthest store one more time, but at least I know my way there and back pretty well now. grin

And now I think I will game for a while. thumbsup


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Joe's Weird Tuesday Diner [Re: venus] #977652
09/09/14 07:22 PM
09/09/14 07:22 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good afternoon Boomers. wave


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Joe's Weird Tuesday Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #977661
09/09/14 08:42 PM
09/09/14 08:42 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Boys off to bed, and so am I. Sweet dreams all sleep


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Joe's Weird Tuesday Diner [Re: gymcandy1] #977667
09/09/14 10:23 PM
09/09/14 10:23 PM
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Midge Offline
Graduate Boomer
Midge  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Been busy day for me. I worked another split shift. Home now and just ready for bed. I hope you all had a great day. Ana how did your dr appointment go?

See you in the morning. I have tomorrow off. yay

Midgie hearts sleep


Just do it.
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